I'll Review Your Stuff!

[Batbrony 15,994]

Well since you're offering, might as well take you up on your kind offer!  I have a pretty healthy amount of readers for a first time writer; unfortunately, writing itself has been quite slow, largely because of a busy schedule.  Chapter 3 of my fic is complete, but I won't be releasing it until I've finished editing it along with finishing and editing Chapter 4, since the events of both chapters are closely tied.  Still, I'd be very grateful Swick if you'd take a look at the first two chapters of my fanfic; after all, I always like hearing new input.  Hope it does not disappoint, and once again thank you for the kind offer! 

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/79481/batmare-begins

Edited September 23, 2013 by Batbrony

[Hawk Moth 390]

Here are the first two stories in my fictional, fantasy universe. There will be more to come, but I've been dragging my feet for a few years, and I can't finish anything.

 

Crown Thief: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i2oE-zQg7M5T3lB6rgAk65cz8FFBu3PdRkUGElNqAFg/edit?usp=sharing

 

For Diners Only: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oyEiR1OPoOz52vmEcCG03Gw_OHR7pD9cPs71yLyBDuE/edit

 

If you hate them (which you probably will), please don't insult me too much.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

 

 

Wow, you did that? It sounds really good! My only complaint is that the mane melody was drowned out a lot of the time. Otherwise, it's really, really good.

 

Hey thanks!

 

Yeah, I've got three lines of percussion that sometimes become loud enough to drown out the melody. But the supporting piano, as you heard elaborated on the melody to give it a little flare, which worked according to your review. 

 

Could you also review this piano improv? I did this right on the fly.

 

[Aisling Ink 195]

Any chance you could review this?

 

 

http://coniglionero.deviantart.com/art/MLP-Wicked-Nightmare-Night-335121983

 

I really like to make ponies with traditional media, what I would like to know is how it is perceived by other pony fans. Perhaps is not as catchy as digital art. 

Edited September 23, 2013 by Aisling Ink

[Hawk Moth 390]

One more thing. This is a work in progress. It's an epic piece of mythological poetry that exists in the world of the two stories I posted. This particular myth describes one of the old gods of a major religion in my universe. Because the work is old and it was translated from an older language, the content is very weird and confusing. When I started writing it, I wanted to make something that sounded like what you would find if you cracked open an ancient book and started reading. The language is archaic, and it's filled with metaphors, double meanings, hidden messages, symbols, and downright nonsense. In my universe, I repeat many words, phrases, and motifs so that when the reader starts seeing the same things over and over, they'll realize that certain things hold significance and aren't just strange turns of phrase. If anyone is interested, I'll post more things, and you'll see the symbols, numbers, and ideas that pop up everywhere. And if anyone wants me to decipher this, just PM me. I'm more than happy to clarify things. Just be forewarned that this is a really loopy, crazy, and confusing bit of writing.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sqv8wsYDcya-eVXOGuHbsT1uqkp8pDRgiaRzfO12KxQ/edit?usp=sharing

[Swick (ded) 436]

EDIT: I just realized I skipped Batbrony and Hawk Moth's first post. Working on them now! 

-macaroni farts-

Whoops, look like I forgot about yours. Really sorry about that. Well, I don't know anything about DJing, but what I can tell you is that you pause between nearly every word, so it sounds like you're a machine. Try being more enthusiastic, it's the best way to get viewers on anything!

-snip-

Very pretty. I like how you incorporated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. :3 The song as a whole is a bit slow to me, but I guess that's just because I like faster music, for the most part.

 

-sniiiiiip-

Wow, that's a really nice picture! I really like your style of shading and coloring. The magic effects are neat too. I can't really see anything wrong... Maybe the ears are a tiny bit too small? I don't know, I told myself to criticize more and it's not working because your drawing is so GOSHDANG PERFECT.

 

-I'm snipping so much I could be a pair of scissors-

I... what? This was like an old, old text to me (which, I guess, was your goal, but still.). I didn't really understand it, and I just kind of skimmed through it after a few minutes because there was no way I could read that entire thing without going nuts. Sorry, but I really don't know what your goal was here. You do write convincingly ancient text, though. :3

Edited September 24, 2013 by Swick

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

@,

 

Well, if you want faster music, here's an awesome metal piece I'm woking on. It's a theme for Super Rainbow Dash and it's called Pushed.

 

https://pony.fm/tracks/1078-pushed-wip 

[Swick (ded) 436]

@,

 

Well, if you want faster music, here's an awesome metal piece I'm woking on. It's a theme for Super Rainbow Dash and it's called Pushed.

 

https://pony.fm/tracks/1078-pushed-wip 

Sorry, my computer hates a lot of sites, and Pony.fm is one of them. Do you think you could upload the audio file to Fileize or somewhere similar? ^-^"

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/79481/batmare-begins

 

I like the detail in your story. The way you write really makes me want to keep reading to find out what happens next, and that's the ultimate goal of every writer. Very well written, though the part before Derpy's memory kind of drags. Overall very nice, and great storyline! You're a better writer than I am. :3

 

Here are the first two stories in my fictional, fantasy universe. There will be more to come, but I've been dragging my feet for a few years, and I can't finish anything.

You're a pretty good writer, don't get me wrong, but your writing style just isn't something I would like to read in my free time. I'm sure there are plenty of others that would enjoy your style much more than I.

[Batbrony 15,994]

I like the detail in your story. The way you write really makes me want to keep reading to find out what happens next, and that's the ultimate goal of every writer. Very well written, though the part before Derpy's memory kind of drags. Overall very nice, and great storyline! You're a better writer than I am. :3

 

Thank you Swick, glad you like it so far!  You taking the time to review this means a lot to me.  If I might ask, which part before Derpy's memory do you mean drags?  There's been about two different memory segments so far, so I'm just curious as to which one you were talking about?  Thanks again for the review, it's very helpful always getting feedback from my readers! 

[Leavinh 313]

Could you review my cover of Helping Twilight Win the Crown (yes another one lol)? I would definitely like some feedback to know what I could be doing better.

 

[Swick (ded) 436]

Thank you Swick, glad you like it so far!  You taking the time to review this means a lot to me.  If I might ask, which part before Derpy's memory do you mean drags?  There's been about two different memory segments so far, so I'm just curious as to which one you were talking about?  Thanks again for the review, it's very helpful always getting feedback from my readers! 

I was talking about the very first memory, where Derpy tries the muffin for the first time.

 

Could you review my cover of Helping Twilight Win the Crown (yes another one lol)? I would definitely like some feedback to know what I could be doing better.

 

Dude, that's awesome! Best chiptune I think I've heard so far of this song. Wow, nice work! 30000/10. Downloaded.

 

 

... This thread is actually a great way to find good stuffz. 

[Batbrony 15,994]

I was talking about the very first memory, where Derpy tries the muffin for the first time.

 

Oh right, one of my friends told me that as well.  Don't worry, there won't be too many more memories like that; probably just one more major one that's going to switch between real-time events as they happened and Derpy's own narration to condense it down.  Just getting a lot of exposition and character building out of the way early on, ya know?  Anyways, thanks again! 

[Swick (ded) 436]

Oh right, one of my friends told me that as well.  Don't worry, there won't be too many more memories like that; probably just one more major one that's going to switch between real-time events as they happened and Derpy's own narration to condense it down.  Just getting a lot of exposition and character building out of the way early on, ya know?  Anyways, thanks again! 

Nonononono, I said everything before that memory was slow. I personally liked the memory itself; it gave me an idea of Derpy's past, even if it wasn't canon.

[Slice0Pie 815]

Ok, so let me ask something.

Can you review my thread of non-pony artwork?

So far it only has one reply, the other one is from me and my updates.

My drawings pretty much suck, but may you please review it?

Here is the link:

http://mlpforums.com/topic/74183-cadencederps-art-and-sketches/#entry1872309

[GeekBrony 85]

Whoops, look like I forgot about yours. Really sorry about that. Well, I don't know anything about DJing, but what I can tell you is that you pause between nearly every word, so it sounds like you're a machine. Try being more enthusiastic, it's the best way to get viewers on anything!

I get that a lot from my friends, it's a habit, I don't know. You said you don't know anything about DJing. What about the transitions? Are those good? You can do as many transitions as you want.

Edited September 24, 2013 by x86cam

[Batbrony 15,994]

Nonononono, I said everything before that memory was slow. I personally liked the memory itself; it gave me an idea of Derpy's past, even if it wasn't canon.

 

Oh... ohhhhhhh, you mean all the stuff at the beginning of Ch. 2?  Cause that's where that memory shows up.  Weird, I've never heard that before from readers, but that's good to know!  Well, glad you like the memory at least!!!  Those are a lot of fun to write!!!

[Hawk Moth 390]

Sorry you didn't like my stuff

 

The third one is meant to be confusing and sound ancient. It exists within the universe. I can post more in-world lore, but I guess you're sick of my stuff by now.

[Aisling Ink 195]

Wow, that's a really nice picture! I really like your style of shading and coloring. The magic effects are neat too. I can't really see anything wrong... Maybe the ears are a tiny bit too small? I don't know, I told myself to criticize more and it's not working because your drawing is so GOSHDANG PERFECT.

 

 

*Blush* Why thank you! I'm glad you like it that much! Perhaps I'll not leave traditional media behind after all 

 

I believe you are quite right about the ears, never noticed it before 

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

 

 

Sorry, my computer hates a lot of sites, and Pony.fm is one of them. Do you think you could upload the audio file to Fileize or somewhere similar? ^-^"

 

 

Here's the soundcloud: 

 

Hopefully this one works better. You might need to do something about your computer hating pony.fm. What does it do exactly?

[Swick (ded) 436]

 

 

Here's the soundcloud: 

 

Hopefully this one works better. You might need to do something about your computer hating pony.fm. What does it do exactly?

 

It just gives me an SSL error. Same for Soundcloud. That's why I said Fileize.  Sorry, I can't really do anything about it. I've spent hours looking for answers, but nothing.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

 

 

It just gives me an SSL error. Same for Soundcloud. That's why I said Fileize.  Sorry, I can't really do anything about it. I've spent hours looking for answers, but nothing.

 

Okay then...I'll try to get that fileize thing and then you should have it. In the meantime, review this instead

 

It's a reggae version of Babs Seed.

[Grand_Finale 529]

Would you mind reviewing a few of my OCs? I dont know if you do that, im just asking. If you would like to, you can review Grand FInale and Tarot. I would appreciate it their links are in my signature