What's the worst thing one of your teachers has ever said?

[Judgement 445]

So I was sitting in one of my classes and I asked my teacher a question in front of the whole class. Very casually, she said:

"Oh what was that? Sorry, I didn't hear what the F*** you just said". Everybody in my class was either shocked or laughing hysterically. I mean, we use that word thousands of times a day at my school but it is just really unprofessional coming from a teacher.

 

Which brings up the topic:

 

What's the worst thing one of your teachers has ever said?

[Static Electricity 729]

Called me stupid for liking donkeys >

Edited January 18, 2014 by Static Electricity

[Shift 4,272]

One of my teachers said '...why the hell don't you have your homework?' to this one kid. I was laughing hysterically and that kid was chuckling but answered. Most of the class was laughing.

[Scootalove 10,689]

My teacher called me an asshole for just stating my opinion on communism, screw subtly am I right?

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

Never have had anything like that happen, there have been cases were teachers have told people to shut up but that's because some people are just too loud and inconsiderate during class.

Edited January 18, 2014 by Fluttershyfan94

[Scootadress 361]

Mine told this kid basically that he was..."slow". He implied that ater yelling all the time after the student wouldn't do work (or rather, didn't) and he honestly lied on his percent to try to help him. (He originally had a 12 in bio)

[SanityNotIncluded 335]

Not so much said, but we used to have a relief teacher with serious delusions of grandeur. He gave out very serious punishments for what were essentially minor, or, in the case of something I witnessed, completely non-existent incidents. He was eventually prevented from coming back to the school (given that one-off reliefs weren't supposed to give out punishments that would go on your record anyway).

[FlitterFlutter 1,583]

hmm well one of my teachers told mot me but someone in our class that she was a slut for a skirt that she had. it was odd everybody just sat their shocked. BTW that was a "Christen school".

[Kelario 95]

I've got a teacher that doesn't actually swear, but he makes jokes with words that sound equivalent. For example, on the first day of school:

 

"Don't give me paper out of a spiral-bound notebook with all those little holes on the left. You know there's a word for that stuff? That's called chit. I don't want your chit." -English teacher

 

The same guy continually threatens to "punch you in the throat" if answers are incorrect.

Edited January 18, 2014 by Kelario

[Moonlight 7,286]

Well, our gym class had a substitute teacher and wow....she was a total bitch. While we were playing mat-ball (pretty much kickball), she made jokes quietly about everyone including myself, the joke about myself had to do with... *cough*, my bigger than normal chest area.   She also repeatedly told the class that we weren't playing it right even though we've played it that way for months. Then we all got yelled at repeatedly as well. 

Edited January 18, 2014 by WheatleyCore

[Game Twinkle 43]

My teacher took away a book I was reading before class started. I was in 7th grade. I have social anxiety and just looked down at my desk trying not to cry.

[Side Bird 566]

I was getting something out of my eye in class and my science teacher thought I was sleeping. she yelled at me for like a minute and started like flipping out and wouldn't let me really even say anything

[Smarts 1,622]

In 7th grade, my teacher yelled at me for chewing gum when I wasn't. I had a bad habit of chewing my nails back then. She made me clean the dried up gum under all the desks as punishment. I cried the whole time because I am sensitive. When people yell at me, I have a hard time controlling myself, it was made even worse by the fact everyone was staring and laughing at me.

[Judgement 445]

Making a student clean up gum that doesn't belong to them? Wow. What a harsh teacher. I remember a student at my school faced the same punishment, but it is wrong for them to assume that you are going to stick it under the desk. If the schools weren't so strict I bet kids would actually spit their gum in the trash.

[Oblivion 20,266]

More or less called me a retard for forgetting something related to a group project!

To be fair those weren't her exact words, but that's what she meant!

[SanityNotIncluded 335]

The same guy continually threatens to "punch you in the throat" if answers are incorrect.

Reminds me of a history teacher I had who joked about throwing pens, whiteboard scrubbers, books and various other paraphernalia at us. Awesome guy. 

[Mightymags 1,053]

I think I can win with this one. My Human Sexuality professor is known for the crude things she says in class. There's even a facebook page dedicated to stuff she says because it's even funnier out of context. Here are some of the best: 

 

"A 16-inch light saber dick."

 

"I'll respond "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" and you'll think "Wow, what a bitch.""

 

"Feel free to put your questions in my box. My question box, not my box!"

 

"Anal sex is a lot like broccoli. Growing up, your parents probably tried to get you to eat broccoli for the first time over and over, but you wouldn't eat it even though you'd never tried it, and now you might love it! How can you know you won't like anal if you haven't tried it?"

[Seaweed 596]

Never had a teacher in school tht was terribly crude or outlandish.

 

But if you consider a drill sergeant a teacher, then oh, Celestia...I've got a laundry list of wild quotes for ya, haha.

[Jack Spades 162]

"Love your hair. Wherever it is." he said to a girl who shaved her head (she was in her rebellious stage).

[Chain Combo 135]

I don't know if it was bad, but I found it hilarious when my teacher said, "This is how students who think they're the sh*t do the problem .....and this is how student who are the sh*t do the problem".

[Judgement 445]

My 7th grade history teacher chucked tennis balls at kids when they weren't paying attention. This one time he chucked it at me, but I ducked and he hit the kid behind me.

 

 

I recently heard he got fired.

[SanityNotIncluded 335]

I think I can win with this one.

Yeah, you've pretty much won this thread, those were hilarious. We have a Facebook page like that for lecturer quotes at my university - that's given us many wonders, such as:

"Be a man - wear a dress" - my politics lecturer

"Look, I would introduce you to each other, but face it: This is third year anthropology. If you haven't made friends by now, you're obviously just a mean person" - tutor of some description

And my personal favourite...

"I thought most MLP fan fiction was just weird pony sex" - apparently that was said by a lecturer

Edited January 18, 2014 by SanityNotIncluded

[Mephala 2,633]

Hmm, well, it depends. I've had teachers comment on my "slutty" behaviour before, despite the fact that I do wear acceptable clothing. For example, there was one point in my Physical Education class when I went to grab some water and due to having a larger chest are, my shirt slipped up a little, after which my teacher audibly said "no one wants to see your breasts". (It was only about an inch of skin.) Despite being the OPPOSITE, I have a reputation as being a flirt solely because of how I look, LOL.

[Gravelord Neat-O 305]

my eighth grade science teacher told me why i even exist? that i'm a worthless student who will never achieve anything in life. so i got up and just stood there, dramatically. Everyone was in silence, wondering what my next move was going to be. I had no clue what to do. i decided to walk towards the door and stand there with my back against the class, i stood there for a good ten seconds. The teacher then tried to speak, but as she opened her mouth, i decided to run towards her and grab her by the waist and throw her out the wind, as she was falling i screamed, "WHO"S WORTHLESS NOW" i'm now in jail serving two life sentences for murder. The only regret i have, is that none of this actually happened and i'm a bad story teller.

Edited January 18, 2014 by PringlesShy

[nickdh 49]

I'm going to be all out honest.

Getting into Biology, my teacher constantly talks about living organisms and how everything has sex, or in her terms, "fucks". We died laughing in class. xD
My Choir teacher went all out crazy during choir one day, and yelled "SHUUUUUUUUUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP" in the middle of him teaching cause allllllll the kids left the piano to go talk and yell and fight and everything. They sure listened after THAT!

And my favorite teacher, History, I love her. But, one day, someone had entered the class room and set his stuff down and sat down. The teacher said we would be taking our test today, and he asked "Where is it?" and she went crazy on him, because, and I quote, "I (she) always post these things on Edmodo for ya'll! You should know that!". He went down to ISS

OH! Also, another choir day, a classmate asked to go to the bathroom cause she REALLY had to go. Well, some other girl just went like 2 minutes before that and had not returned. He blurted out loud, "No, you can NOT go have sex in the bathroom." LOL.
My school is crazy.