Buffalo Man

[Chevette 1,052]

Yo homies and homettes. How you be chillin' up in dis crib tonight bitchez?! 

 

Ahem. I mean... Yes, yes indeed. Quite. Anyways, folks. I bet you have noticed something great happening around the forums lately, you know... It's no ordinary sandwich, a sandwich filled with jellyfish jelly... It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea...

 

Yeah, but all tastefully added Spongebob humor aside, I'm talking about the one, the only.... Buffalo Man! That's right kids, you guessed it! Your favorite childhood hero, the guy we try to save a seat for on the subway, that fellow who is always checking his mailbox, the dude who supposedly never finished highschool but is still smarter than half the country, the best barrel racin', sharp shootin' sumbitch to ever spit beach-nut this side of the Mississippi!... The Big "BM", also known as Buffalo Man! (Based on a avatar by the generous user, @Dark Qiviut who is infact a real team player about this whole thing!)

 

 

So what is this topic for you ask? Simple my fellow Buffalo Man lovin' forum users! It's to appreciate the ever loving FUCK out of Buffalo Man! Because we all know this guy is the best. Like seriously, look at that avatar. How the snarfin' snap-doodles couldn't ya love such a adorable lil' fella! (I know, I know... Some of you are saying this right now: "Whoa, dude... Dark Qiviut's avatar isn't even a Buffalo...") Well, all I gotta say to negative nancys that say things like that is HOOPLA! It is and forever shall be BUFFALO MAN!

 

 

So yeah, kids. If you wanna join in the fun, it's easy. All you have to do is worship Buffalo Man every second of your life. I promise it's worth it. I prayed to Buffalo Man for 3 hours straight last night and when I woke up today, I wasn't mauled by a vicious Drop-Bear. (Drop Bears are no laughing matter...)

 

 

I can see it in your eyes right now... You have questions about our hero, Buffalo Man, doncha? *chuckles* Not a problem fellow user, we all had questions at one point about this mystical being, Buffalo Man. It's nothing to tie your dick in a knot about.

 

But yeah, If you do have the questions, refer to our organized FAQ section on the bottom of this post. It can be rather helpful when you begin to dedicate the rest of your feeble young life to our lord and savior, Buffalo Man.

 

 

As for now, let me give you my point of view on the character created by the forum's very own Dark Qiviut. This should explain thoroughly where the whole Buffalo Man thing came into play. It was one of those things that just clicked when I saw that magnificent avatar, ya know... Clicked. Like that type of click that a seatbelt in brand-new automobile makes as you fasten it. Or the click them there old timey radio machines made as you turned em' on...

 

Anyways, let's get to it, shall we? It was a dark and stormy night on our very own MLP Forums. A night like no other... A night that would tickle your titties to the third degree if it ever would happen again. I was sitting alone in the depths of one of my many yachts as the lights began to flicker on and off. Next, the the phone rang and there was nobody there... and finally... The Hash-Slinging Slasher arrived in the bus that ran him over!

 

Alright... Fine. I'll tell the fuckin' story... But really guys, who's to say that didn't happen? Bastards... Okay, where was I?... Hmm... *Shuffles papers* Ah yes. Here we are.

I was sitting alone in the depths of one of my many yachts as I happened to be browsing the mighty forum in a violent matter. Something caught my screen. Something like no other. It stood out tall, it stood out above all the other users... It was the mighty Buffalo Man avatar hiding in the mist of all the other users with average avatars that did not match up to Buffalo Man's originality.

 

From this point on, anytime I saw Dark Qiviut on the forum, I instantly relate it with that thought of "Buffalo Man". How did it become a thing you ask? Simple, my friends. I happened to be in a Skype call one afternoon with the best everything, @Rockymoo, the best ute driving kangaroo, @QuirkyUsername and we'll just assume the best racecar,  was also there... In this call I happened to refer to Dark Qiviut's avatar as "Buffalo Man" and ever since, it became our best inside joke.

 

And what can I say? Buffalo Man became canon that fateful day... 

 

 

As promised, here's our FAQ section...

 

 

FAQ: Who the flamin' fuck-balls is this "Buffalo Man"?!

Answer: It's Dark Qiviut's avatar! Wasn't your dumbass reading this shit?!

 

FAQ: I think I'm in love with Buffalo Man, what is my next step?

Answer: Umm... Depending on how far you want to take it, you could have a plushie made and do the sideways line dance with it...

 

FAQ: What if I think this whole "Buffalo Man" thing is stupid.

Answer: Buffalo Man doesn't care what you think.

 

FAQ: I really love this whole "Buffalo Man" meme and want to help support it!

Answer: Good, good. We like you. You are a team player. You can help by embracing Buffalo Man each and every day and spreading Buffalo Man's love like a fat man spreads butter!

 

FAQ: I have a prior criminal record and am currently under probation, can I still take part in supporting Buffalo Man?

Answer: Yes?

 

FAQ: Do you guys consider "Buffalo Man" a club?

Answer: Not really. It's more of a way of life, not a actual sign up thing.

 

FAQ: I really want to donate to Buffalo Man, how and can I do so?

Answer: If you want to donate, I'll give you my P.O. box address so you can mail me money that you think is going toward the cause.

 

FAQ: I am gonna be a real debbie downer and report this whole "Buffalo Man" thing for indirect harassment!

Answer: Go fuck yourself.

 

FAQ: Why is Buffalo Man all powerful?
Answer: Because he is Buffalo Man and he can see and do whatever he likes. He is more powerful than any OC or character from anything ever made. He fucks shit up with his mind, bitch.

 

FAQ: What does Buffalo Man sound like?

Answer: Buffalo Man does not talk whatsoever. Buffalo Man communicates through telepathy.

 

FAQ: I'm a big fan of Buffalo Man, but I don't really understand what it's all about. Is there anything I can reference to learn more?
Answer: This topic aids in user confusion, if you have any questions, search this topic. If you still can't find a answer, feel free to ask personally (as long as you aren't stupid)

 

FAQ: I just bought the "Buffalo Man" alarm clock online. What is the average shipping time I should expect?

Answer: Umm... I think you got scammed, there isn't a "Buffalo Man" alarm clock, yet... So yeah, the estimated shipping time is probably never.

 

FAQ: I have some kind of odd bulge on my back, do you think this could be a infected cyst?

Answer: Sex.

 

FAQ: How much time should I take out of my day to pray to Buffalo Man?

Answer: As much as you feel necessary. He will listen. I recommend a minimum of 45 minutes to a hour.

 

FAQ: Is there a "Anti-Buffalo Man" group?

Answer: Probably, usually anytime there is something awesome, there are always fuckfaces out there trying to be non-playful peteys about it.

 

FAQ: Can I be Buffalo Man's friend?

Answer: If you are referring to Dark Qiviut, possibly... But if you are referring to the character "Buffalo Man" then, no. He works alone.

 

FAQ: I really want a Buffalo Man T-Shirt! Where can I get one? 

Answer: They don't exist as of now, but we plan to have one made up.

 

FAQ: Who made this whole "Buffalo Man" thing what it is today?

Answer: @Chevette, @Rockymoo, , & @QuirkyUsername

 

FAQ: Does Buffalo Man like Pokemon?

Answer: Hell to the Naw, bitch.

 

FAQ: What is under Buffalo Man's mighty patch of fur?

Answer: The answer to salvation. Oh yeah, and drugs. Mostly drugs though.

 

FAQ: Who makes the Buffalo Man images and .gifs?

Answer: @Chevette

 

FAQ: Why do people hate Buffalo Man?

Answer: Because they are non-creative, evil-spirited, Buffalo Man faithless, heathens.

 

FAQ: What does "The Big BM" mean?

Answer: ?Just another way to reference Buffalo Man. (BM being short for "Buffalo Man")

 

FAQ: I think there should be a show based on Buffalo Man! 

Answer: Good, we do too.

 

FAQ: I need a cigarette.

Answer: If you have enough faith in Buffalo Man, he'll give one to you.

 

 

 

If you have any other questions about our savior Buffalo Man, feel free to ask. We are always happy to direct fellow Buffalites in the right direction. Have a Buff-tastic day and remember to pray to Buffalo Man!

Edited January 30, 2014 by Chevette

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

I approve of this topic.

 

Buffalo Man is generous enough to merely grace  us plebeians with his life-changing presence. That is generosity even Rarity herself can approve of.

 

 

See? My waifu approves

 

Anyway, things like Buffalo Man only come around once in a lifetime, dammit

 

Must.

 

Begin.

 

Worshup.

 

NAO!!

[Nohbdy 4,108]

Yup, Buffalo Man is one awesome guy. So awesome, in fact, that this thread mysteriously teleported into the Forum Lounge! 

Edited January 30, 2014 by Aquila

[Rockymoo 2,137]

 

You really can't dislike the good ol' BM.

[Scootalove 10,689]

The Best in the World approves of this thread!

 

[DubWolf 17,264]

Long live the Buffalo Man!...how do you worship to the image of Buffalo Man? Mrbate to it?

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

 

 

FAQ: Who makes the Buffalo Man images and .gifs?

Answer: @Chevette

 

I'll give you my first born child and 69 virgins if you would be kind enough to replicate Buffalo Man's generosity and git me a Rarity and Buffalo Man .gif for my profile so I can represent the religion in a way I feel comfortable doing.

 

If not, I'm keeping my profile as is and the 69 virgins, but you can have my first born child anyway.

[Chevette 1,052]

I'll give you my first born child and 69 virgins if you would be kind enough to replicate Buffalo Man's generosity and git me a Rarity and Buffalo Man .gif for my profile so I can represent the religion in a way I feel comfortable doing.

 

If not, I'm keeping my profile as is and the 69 virgins, but you can have my first born child anyway.

 

SHEEIIITTTTT MAH FELLOW BUFFALO MAN LOVIN' USER. I got this for ya, coach. You put this job in good hands.

 

Were you thinking of any Rarity .gif in-particular, or do you just want me to roll the ol' dice and find somethin' that'll work?

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

SHEEIIITTTTT MAH FELLOW BUFFALO MAN LOVIN' USER. I got this for ya, coach. You put this job in good hands.

 

Were you thinking of any Rarity .gif in-particular, or do you just want me to roll the ol' dice and find somethin' that'll work?

Anything that'll work and have both of them in it

 

Also, do you think it'd be safe if I just FedEx'd those 69 virgins to you?   

[Thrashy 2,800]

He is always watching. He is ever present. He is all knowing. Prostrate yourselves before Him as you take in His glory.

 

Edited January 30, 2014 by Thrashy

[Yamato 1,348]

Buffalo Man is my savior. He is my light when there is naught but darkness. His grace is nourishment to me in my times of weakness. Through His guidance I have achieved true enlightenment. I understand all that is, all that was, and all that must be. Let it be known that the great Buffalo Man shall strike down all those who oppose his disciples, for the Message cannot be hindered. All must know of the glory that is Buffalo Man.
 
The Five Pillars of Buffalo, as entrusted unto me in the shitter at the Waffle House:
 
1. One must acknowledge that Buffalo Man is the One True God, and that Chevette, Rockymoo, Dodge Power Wagon, and QuirkyUsername are his chosen prophets.

 

2. One must pray to Buffalo Man twice daily. Once at 4:20 a.m., and once at 4:20 p.m. These prayers are to last no less than 45 minutes and preferably are to be made under the influence of a psychotropic drug of the devotee's choosing.

 

3. One must toke no fewer than two doobies daily. During the great and powerful month of Truckuary, this number shall be increased to seven. If fewer than seven doobies are toked per day during this month, the devotee shall be required to atone for his/her sins by reading fanfictions centred around OCs.

 

4. One must tithe 7% of one's annual income to Chevette, Rockymoo, Dodge Power Wagon, and QuirkyUsername or risk incurring the Great Buffalo's wrath. This money shall be accepted as donation and used to buy doobies for the good of all Buffalites.

 

5. One must complete the pilgrimage to the D Mart Gas Station on Cleveland St. in Gary, IN at least twice in one's lifetime.

[Chevette 1,052]

Anything that'll work and have both of them in it

 

Also, do you think it'd be safe if I just FedEx'd those 69 virgins to you?   

 

Of course, FedEx will work just fine. Just none of that US Postal Service bullshit... That stuff is for nimbies, plus, the maniac is in the mailbox...

 

Anyways, here's a lil' .gif file for ya that represents the love between Buffalo Man and Rarity:

 

 

I probably could have done a little better on this, but there's just something about erasing Spike from 46 layers of .gif that makes me want to pray to Buffalo Man to find a way out of doing it. Mostly because I'm lazy... Anyways, hope it fixes the itch for ya though...

 

Praise Buffalo Man.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Of course, FedEx will work just fine. Just none of that US Postal Service bullshit... That stuff is for nimbies, plus, the maniac is in the mailbox...

 

Anyways, here's a lil' .gif file for ya that represents the love between Buffalo Man and Rarity:

 

 

I probably could have done a little better on this, but there's just something about erasing Spike from 46 layers of .gif that makes me want to pray to Buffalo Man to find a way out of doing it. Mostly because I'm lazy... Anyways, hope it fixes the itch for ya though...

 

Praise Buffalo Man.

In the name of Buffalo Man, allow me to have your babies.

 

(Thanks a shitload, bro! )

Edited January 30, 2014 by ghostfacekiller39

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

Well we might as well just close the forums down because this is the best it's ever gonna get thread wise. This thread...is the thread of threads.

 

I remember on november 5th, BM day as I recall it all the kids use to go down to the cow pasture and wait all night for the great BM to come out of the Shell station across the street (cause he had to support his baby mama). He is indeed a great man, and this thread will do him just fine.

 

Buffalo man is love, Buffalo man is life.

[DubWolf 17,264]

Important question: would you find it helpful to spread the word of buffalo man to people in need, or should we limit it to a certain amount so it does not experience the "Brony Effect" (ie, non-bronies get sick of all the ponified stuff)?

[Yamato 1,348]

Important question: would you find it helpful to spread the word of buffalo man to people in need, or should we limit it to a certain amount so it does not experience the "Brony Effect" (ie, non-bronies get sick of all the ponified stuff)?

 

This ain't no pony, this is Buffalo Man. Spread that shit like Land O' Lakes. Just make sure that those you spread it to truly are worthy. We can't have any undesirables mucking up the good Buffalite name.

[TurtlesForSale 128]

You pray to Buffalo man ...don't you Squidward!? 

You are right it is the best way of life, last night I prayed to Buffalo man for 4 hours and I could already feel the Elephants finally leaving the household. Thank you and Buffalo man for showing me the light. 

[Skye 463]

I MISS THIS THREAD AND STILL LOVE BUFFALO MAN