general media Dumb Reviews

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Have you ever found any reviews which are just plain dumb? As in, reviews that don't mention the game, reviews that deride the game without reason, reviews that say a game's bad solely because of its DRM, or reviews that say a film's bad solely because it stars Kevin Spacey, etc. etc. 
This is the thread to talk about such reviews in.

Here's an example, a review for the game Postal 2, taken word-for-word from Metacritic:

 

 

this game is very bad and i wasted my money i wish steam gave refunds because i feel ripped off do not buy this is the reason the usa is investigating gun violence because this stupid game promotes murder 24/7

 

I think this is a particularly bad review because: 

- They call the game "very bad", but no indication at all is given as to why they believe this

- The reviewer goes off topic by mentioning gun violence in America
- They don't really mention much about the game itself.

 

 

So, if you find any particularly dumb reviews for games, films, et cetera, feel free to post 'em here!

 

 

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Everything Digibrony does.

 

Not good - he's lacking any sense of charisma whatsoever, sounds like he doesn't want to be doing this, and is often extremely bias with the way he views episodes, and has the audacity to act like he's calling it down the middle. At least I admit to having a lot of preference towards Rarity when I review an episode.

 

Then again, my reviews aren't very critical Once in a blue moon do I dislike an episode.

Edited May 22, 2014 by ghostfacekiller39

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Everything Digibrony does.

 

Not good - he's lacking any sense of charisma whatsoever, sounds like he doesn't want to be doing this, and is often extremely bias with the way he views episodes, and has the audacity to act like he's calling it down the middle. At least I admit to having a lot of preference towards Rarity when I review an episode.

 

Then again, my reviews aren't very critical Once in a blue moon do I dislike an episode.

Gonna have to agree with you on that one Ghostie. He started out well, but now he's just not with it anymore. 

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,331]

Well there is Byter's episode reviews. I looked at his season 4 episode reviews and I'm like, "why hasn't he left the fandom yet?" It's like he wants to hate the newer episodes.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Well there is Byter's episode reviews. I looked at his season 4 episode reviews and I'm like, "why hasn't he left the fandom yet?" It's like he wants to hate the newer episodes.

Never really heard of him, what's his channel name?

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,331]

Everything Digibrony does.

 

Not good - he's lacking any sense of charisma whatsoever, sounds like he doesn't want to be doing this, and is often extremely bias with the way he views episodes, and has the audacity to act like he's calling it down the middle. At least I admit to having a lot of preference towards Rarity when I review an episode.

 

Then again, my reviews aren't very critical Once in a blue moon do I dislike an episode.

I agree, I used to like him then he started getting too negative for my taste and not to mention his new avatar looks hideous.

Never really heard of him, what's his channel name?

He doesn't do reviews on YouTube (unless you count the streams he does with other reviewers) he does them on his deviant art. Can't link you them, in school.

Channel name is Byter.

Edited May 22, 2014 by ChikoritaBrony

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

@,

 

Oh okay, but from the sound of it, I think he's just one of them over-analysts.  

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

I agree, I used to like him then he started getting too negative for my taste and not to mention his new avatar looks hideous.

Nothing wrong with putting things you dislike in an episode on blast - but A.) He obviously doesn't want to be there B.) EVERYTHING new is bad to him for some reason and C.) If you're going to make it seem like you're calling things down the middle, you better actually being doing it. He doesn't give Rarity a fair shot, and treats AJ and Pinkie like they're perfect and flawless. That bugs the piss out of me, because 1.) Rarity should get a fair shot and 2.) He's deceiving people, in a way, by making it seem like he's calling things objectively, and I don't like it when people are deceptive like that.

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,331]

@,

 

Oh okay, but from the sound of it, I think he's just one of them over-analysts.

He makes brony curious look like he doesn't over analyze.

[Megas 27,742]

imo, 90% of brony reviews/analyses can get really dumb. But outside of mlp, most game reviews are dumb when you have someone reviewing a game of a genre/series they dislike

 

IGN's God Hand is probably the high point of idiocy though

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Found another one, this time for South Park: The Stick of Truth. 
 

 

The game is great from what I was able to play (for hardcore Southpartk fans only mind you) but unfortunately I got stuck at the anal probe part of the game because of the stupid qte's where I almost broke my fingers pressing buttons and it doesn't work and completely broke my mood and game since you can't change freely from gamepad to keyboard since there is no option for it in the game (in the year 2014 unbelievable) and I'm not going to unplug my gamepad just for this part. If you are going to make a game for the pc than make it with pc options in mind ******.

You just can't review a game negatively because of ONE part of the game. And to be fair, those QTEs aren't that bad - one of them is meant to not be possible. This guy clearly was just venting frustration - this isn't reviewing if you ask me. 

[Megas 27,742]

This article does a pretty good job talking about what I said earlier on review things of genres you don't like - http://www.screwattack.com/news/how-not-write-review

Found another one, this time for South Park: The Stick of Truth. 
 

You just can't review a game negatively because of ONE part of the game. And to be fair, those QTEs aren't that bad - one of them is meant to not be possible. This guy clearly was just venting frustration - this isn't reviewing if you ask me. 

lol the part he was complaining about was the one meant to be stupid too XD

Edited May 22, 2014 by Big Boss

[MilesTheLunar 67]

reviews that say a game's bad solely because of its DRM,

You'd hate me then, because frankly, I think always online DRM is a bad practice and any game that uses it that doesn't actually need it to function needs to be called out for it, along with whoever made the game.

 

On that note, I don't really get bothered by reviews, so long as they explain their reasoning. So basically, any Google Play review.

[Discordian 6,015]

I remember there being a very wordy review for Dark Souls 2 on Forbes that was saying it was the worst game of all time. It ultimately boiled down to the fact that he played both Dark Souls and Dark Souls 2 for hundreds of hours and sucked enough to keep dying. That's all he had to say about it. He sucked so the game sucked. I've heard it might have been to troll the hell out of another Forbes writer though so I dunno how true it was.

Edited May 23, 2014 by Discordian

[Dattebayo 2,850]

Friend, that is the sole reason for Bro Team.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEF-DaMBFbU

 

It's all a joke, but there are people who think he's serious x)

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

I think this is a particularly bad review because:

The review is bad because of the horrible grammar.

 

Reviews are worthless if they just say a game is good or is bad, without talking about what the game is like. I've liked games that Gamespot has hated, and I've hated games that have gotten good reviews. 

Edited May 23, 2014 by BronyNumber42

[Chacobos 160]

Any place that gave Titanfall a score of 9 or 10. Any review that did blatantly ignored some glaring flaws and pretended that the poor excuse of a "single player"

Any place that gave Titanfall a score of 9 or 10. Any review that did blatantly ignored some glaring flaws and pretended that the poor excuse of a "single player" didn't exist

[Lagom 204]

Spoiler

This isn't a review for a game, but there was a lady who called Frozen 'homosexual' because of the love between Elsa and Anna. 

[Jessper 735]

Oh there are so many. Both "user" reviews and "professional" ones.

 

On Steam, I particularly love all those "Yeah, this game offers barely 300 hours of gameplay, thus it's not worth 29€ and I think it should have way more content and be free." reviews. And there are so many too. Then there always is someone who played a huge game for 0.1 hours and has a complex judgement about it.

 

When it comes to proffesional reviews, those which seem to be paid for aside, I often find that the authors tend to criticise the games falsely when they actually do not understand base mechanics or simply didn't play the game enough. I'm sorry, but if you want to call it review and it's your actuall paid job, the smallest thing you can do is play trough the whole game. Completing 1/4 of the story in RPG or reaching level 4 in MMO simply is not enough, that is barely "first impressions".

[BayoUni2847 528]

Pretty much every user review for a game that has a rating of three or below on Metacritic. It's pretty obvious that the person is giving the game a terrible score even though they never played the game in their life that or they're just putting all their focus on one part of the game they didn't like.

 

That or they get mad because a game is exclusive to a certain console and they can't play it.

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Pretty much every user review for a game that has a rating of three or below on Metacritic. It's pretty obvious that the person is giving the game a terrible score even though they never played the game in their life that or they're just putting all their focus on one part of the game they didn't like.

 

That or they get mad because a game is exclusive to a certain console and they can't play it.

I think this too - too many Metacritic reviews don't actually review the game. Metacritic should probably have a system in place where each review has to be approved - it'd be difficult but at least it'd get rid of badly-written reviews.

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

This always seems to happen with new games like this - it happened with Titanfall too. Not that I care about Watch_Dogs right now, I just want my Wii U version.

Edited May 27, 2014 by ~Chaotic Eddie~

[Sir Hugsalot 9,350]

There is one word that is synonym of "bad reviews". Metacritic. As an example I can pick 90% of reviews there. Especially the ones with "0". This website is full of hate, poor marketing attempt made by companies like EA (giving 10 for their games like it was proven in Dragon Age 2 case) and overall metacriticc now is last place where You should look for proper reviews written by users at least when it comes to games. 

[Khaoios 1,970]

Yes......the review on Xbox ONE and PS4, b/c it seems the writers have no knowledge on either one, that they just bullshit about it to draw attention.  Basically the "Console Wars" Review

[Megas 27,742]

Metacritic is the cancer of game reviews and should never be trusted. ESPECIALLY the reader reviews