Jackleberry

Greetings, hello, and welcome to the forums. ^^

The original door sound effects in Minecraft are the bestest evar. Instant wave of nostalgia whenever I hear it.

Gensokyo Warfare for Mount & Blade: Warband. Pretty much turns it into a janky Touhou Project fangame, and I refuse to play the game without it. Oh and I don't know if it qualifies as a hack/mod in the usual sense, but the RLBot software for Rocket League is pretty great, it adds actually good bots to the game that can somewhat emulate what it's like to play a typical online 3v3 match, minus the toxic teammates voting to forfeit after going down a single goal within the first minute... personally I've used it to create my own "championship league" with tournament brackets and teams and everything. It really helped keep the game alive for me after I realised what a mess multiplayer has become, at least in my experience.

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Eeeveryone complains that every CoD is the same every year, so they changed it up with the EXO suit mechanics... and people still complained. Personally it's my favourite multiplayer CoD of all time, the movement was so fun and exhilarating, the guns were satisfying to use... The lootbox (or whatever it was) mechanics sucked for sure, but gameplay wise I thought it was awesome.

Interacting with a friend. Unfortunately, it's not something I get to experience often. Just generally being acknowledged in a positive way does the trick as well, even if it has the side effect of also making me feel embarrassed and anxious. ^^;;

We've been alternating between clear skies where the snow on the ground is 95% melted, and whole days of snowfall (today). ... I'm not complaining, give me moar snow.

- Resident Touhou Project Enjoyer. ...That's usually the case anyway.

512,878

I became... an "Evil Changeling" after what must have been years stuck in Dragon (pretty sure that's what I was). We'll probably be in the 2030s before I hit the next rank. ^^;;

I barely exist online, I definitely don't exist in real life.

I used to have a cat named Phoenix, and my nicknames for him included "P-Ownage" and "Teh Phinzor". I was ~10 at the time.

Baggy clothes, just because they help me feel mentally/emotionally comfortable.

I can do a Touhou: Scarlet Curiosity speedrun in about ~30 minutes, a normal playthrough would probably take 1-4? hours at most.

Ignore and/or block them. I'm not going to waste my time interacting with someone who isn't acting in good faith.

In the past I changed both somewhat regularly, but nowadays I try to maintain a consistent appearance, at least in communities where I have some kind of presence. Still change avatars every so often though.

I find that whenever I try to type Coconut, I end up typing Cocount instead. <.<

Make the ceilings higher so I don't have to worry about randomly hitting my head anymore, please. ^^

Project Zomboid. Only took me... 9 years, turning down some difficulty settings, and adding mods to get into it, but I did it.

510,072~

I've been sitting on this for almost a year now, so, bit of a long post incoming. I had an online friend once from 2019-2021, the best friend I thought I'd ever have. In hindsight it was silly of me to think our friendship actually amounted to much, but going from 0 friends to 1 friend is a hell of a drug that makes every interaction feel that much more significant. Anyway, it was pretty good at first, we spent a lot of time hanging out and grinding in Minecraft, and for once they didn't seem to mind that I'm shy and awkward. At some point they brought up the idea of trying other activities too, but when I brought it up again afterwards it's like they were surprised that I expected them to follow up on anything they said. From then on things started slowly going downhill, because every time I wanted to try new things or join them in other activities, they'd either use my shyness against me as an excuse to avoid including me (I know I just said they didn't mind, I don't get it either), or "agreed" to plans just to never follow through on them. I was starting to feel alienated, waiting weeks and then months for nothing to happen or change at all no matter what I said. Thinking about it I probably should have moved on from them way sooner, but it's not like I had anyone else to turn to and I was terrified of being alone again, so I just kept on rolling. One day we spent a good couple hours talking about playing this other game with one of their other friends, made it pretty clear that I was meant to be included too. Naturally I was looking forward to it, so I eagerly waited for their friend to come online so we could get started. Except, when that friend did come online, my friend left the public voice channel we were in and I saw that they started playing the game, so I kinda just sat there and waited awkwardly in the channel while other people talked, waiting for an invite to come, but it never did. I probably could have said something but anxiety and the pain from feeling like I was just abandoned made me want to disappear for the night. Next morning when I inquired, it turned out that their friend didn't actually want to play with me, and my friend tried to play it off like it was nothing, like they were more happy that they had fun last night, rather than sorry for leaving me hanging without saying a word. Shortly after that, we had another project we were meant to work on along with a bunch of their friends, you know the usual. Only problem was that they were in a Discord server that I didn't have access to. I used to be in it before I left by mistake and never got around to asking for another invite. Since it was owned by their other friend you'd think it wouldn't be a big deal, figured I'd just explain the situation and I'd be let back in so I could chat with them, or at least get them to switch to a channel that I could join, rather than, you know, leaving me, and me alone, out of the conversation. Of course, my friend argued against me and insisted that I was too shy and that I hated being in big groups, which is true but, you know, maybe let me decide that for myself? On its own it wasn't a huge deal, but that on top of feeling abandoned, as well as every other time I was told the same crap leading up to it, was just too much, I couldn't take it anymore and had a bit of an emotional breakdown. After I calmed down and tried to apologise, they blamed me for ever being upset about any of the problems we had, said some crap that implied I might try to stalk them (I guess?) or destroy stuff in-game, then blocked me. Ultimately I think it's for the better, they weren't exactly treating me fairly or with any respect at all and I was clearly getting frustrated and depressed because of it, but words can't describe how much it still hurts to lose my first and so far only "legit" friend. At least now I know to be more aware of those sorts of people, and to not allow myself to fall into that trap again, I guess.

Three jars of homemade pinto beans.

Music. A good song will usually make me feel confident and motivate me for a while.

Overall I'd say I'm feeling a bit more confident than usual, though it's balanced out by slightly sharper swings in the opposite direction.

509,925~

509,907~