XMark

I've started working on a fanfic - the basic premise is that the events shown in the Hearth's Warming Eve episode were just an over-simplified, mostly allegoric story for foals, and that the real events leading up to the forming of Equestria were more violent and morally ambiguous, a conflict between the three races over dwindling resources when winters were suddenly getting longer and colder: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/55595/the-battle-of-hearths-warming Any feedback would be appreciated. I haven't really gotten to the meat of the story yet, but I'm kind of building up the tensions between the three races which will eventually lead to conflict.

Wow, writing this is turning out to be far more difficult than I expected. Trying to preserve as much of the spirit of both shows as I can, and making lots of hard decisions on what needs to change from both sides to fit together. I am suddenly full of even more respect for the author of Fallout: Equestria because of this! Anyhoo, back to the story: CHAPTER 2 Twilight Sparkle arrived at her home after sunset, walking around in a daze, still trying to come to terms with her terminal illness. She had talked at length with the doctor about the details of horn rot, what symptoms would arise at different stages of the disease, which medications she could take to prevent an episode like in the train tunnel, alternative treatments, counsellors. Through the whole day she had not shed a single tear. Her mind was processing the information, planning out checklists for her ongoing treatment. It was only a matter of time until the emotions would hit her like a falling piano. She opened the door to her house and walked in. "Twilight, you're sure home late!" said Spike. "You look a little pale, are you all right?" Twilight managed her best smile. "Oh, I ran into Rarity in Canterlot and she convinced me to go shopping with her. So many shops... Luckily I had the willpower not to buy anything." "That's weird, I thought she was working in Carousel Boutique all day." Twilight started to turn the gears in her head to find a way to explain her story, but thankfully Spike just shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, Twi, check this out!" said Spike. Twilight looked in fascination at Spike. The tiny winglets in his shoulders were wiggling back and forth. "Are you doing that? You’re actually consciously controlling your wings?”. Spike smiled proudly. "Just learned today! And from what I've read, my wings should grow big enough to start flying in about 10 years!" Twilight clapped her hooves together. "Amazing! I can't wait to see..." she trailed off. Spike stopped wiggling his wings and started to say something when Twilight suddenly burst into tears and ran up to him, hugging him closely. Confused, he put his arm around her. "What's the matter?" Twilight still couldn't say anything. She sobbed deeply, unable to let him go. She couldn't tell Spike yet - she didn't even know how. She would have to some day when her condition became more visible. And since Spike was going to live a hundred times longer than her anyways, they both knew the day would come some day. But now that day would be much sooner than later. When she could control her voice again, she started to think of an explanation for her outburst. "I was..." Twilight sniffed. "I was thinking of the future, when you would grow up to be a full-grown dragon and I'd be long gone. I was picturing when you'd fly away, and I just couldn't help what I was feeling." The best lies were mixed with truth. That was a thought which had brought her to tears privately many times in the past, and she was sure that it was the same for Spike. "You really shouldn't think of that now." said Spike, who sounded a little choked up himself. "I always tell myself that that's Future Spike's problem. We're here together now. And that's all that matters." Twilight backed away from Spike and wiped the tears from her eyes. "You're right... it's a silly thing to think of right now. Really, I'm just happy to see you're growing up. And to think I knew you when you were just a cute little spotted egg." Twilight managed a weak smile, turned around and headed to the door. "Spike... I'll be back in a few minutes. I just need to... clear my head." Twilight forced another smile and clumsily left the house. She could feel Spike's concerned and confused look behind her without even seeing it. - No, Twilight. Stop thinking about this. Back during her birthday party, an idea had first entered her head as kind of a joke. A funny what-if scenario mixed with some wishful thinking and a bit of an adventurous spirit. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had let her know how much money was involved in the production of Crystal Spark, and she had an advanced knowledge of both chemistry and magic. She could.... Dammit, no, Twilight. Listen to yourself. Why are you even considering this? She walked aimlessly around town as the last of the sun dipped below the horizon, her mind racing. The sensible side of her was saying that it was too risky, that she'd never done anything illegal before (well, there was that one time that she snuck into the Canterlot library when it was closed... sort of... nah, that didn't count). Drug production was nothing that she ever imagined she would do, but a series of purely logical thoughts had presented themselves in order. Check marks on a checklist that she couldn’t uncheck. As she crossed over one of the small bridges towards the edge of town, the other side of her wouldn't let the more sensible side win. She reminded herself that Spike was a growing dragon living among ponies. His connection with ponies was too strong to leave on his own. He was determined to live in Ponyville and fit in with them. But it would be incredibly expensive just to keep him fed well enough. His growth would be stunted otherwise. She'd have to feed him gems to keep his fire strong, and with her salary as a magic Kindergarten teacher she could only afford the bare minimum requirements. Before today, she would have been able to do it, but with medical bills for treating her horn rot, the math just didn’t work out. And those fancy mathematics just muddied the issue - the fact was that dead ponies don’t have dependable income. She had to talk herself out of this somehow. There were other ways to make money. She could get a second, even a third job. She could swallow her pride and open communication with Princess Celestia again. As she approached Sweet Apple Acres, she took a deep breath and reassured herself that this crazy idea would put itself to bed by tomorrow. She knocked on the door of the Apple Family's home. Apple Bloom opened the door. "Twilight?" said Apple Bloom. Twilight was amazed at just how much she looked like Applejack now, except for her red mane. "Ah'm sorry, I didn't know y'all were comin' over tonight, ah would've saved some apple pie!" "Oh that's quite all right" said Twilight. "I actually just wanted to talk to your sister for a minute. Is she available?" "Hold on a sec." Apple Boom turned around. "AJ! TWILIGHT'S HERE TO SEE YA!" Twilight jumped slightly. Somehow she was always surprised at how loud Apple Bloom could yell. "ALL RIGHT, HOLD YER HORSES, AH'M COMIN'" came Applejack's voice in the background. Apple Bloom looked back at Twilight. "Y'know, ah think that it's been a long time since we talked. How ya been?" "Oh, all right. You know, more of the same." "Y'all should come over some time." said Apple Bloom. "Catch up on things." "Sure." said Twilight. Applejack arrived at the door, and Apple Bloom excused herself. "Hey, AJ. Just letting you know, I'm going to take you up on your offer. To come along with you on that... drug bust... thing." "Aw shoot!" said Applejack. "What?" "Ah mean, that's great, Twi. It's just that ah owe Rainbow 10 bits now." "Wh... why?" "She bet me 10 bits that you'd do it, ah said you wouldn't. Guess ah was lyin'. Ya reckon I'm still the element of honesty now?" "I don't think that really counts as dishonesty. You were making a prediction into the future and according to Starswirl's uncertainty principle, nothing can be predicted in its entirety, even at the subatomic level and..." Applejack laughed out loud. "Ah wasn't talkin' seriously there. Y'all need to relax a bit." Twilight facehoofed and giggled nervously. "Well... I guess I'll... yeah, see ya later!" - "You see that house over there?" said Rainbow Dash. Twilight was hiding in a bush with Applejack and Rainbow Dash. She floated a pair of binoculars to her face and peered through. "Which one?" "The one with the chimney." said Applejack. "Next to that tall one." "Yeah, I see it." Twilight zoomed in on the windows. Rainbow Dash nudged her head to the side a bit so she could look into the binoculars too. "Movement! I see a shadow!" Applejack grinned. "Yeehaw, looks like we ain't gonna be waitin' here all day. Give 'em the signal." Rainbow Dash flipped her wings up out of the bush three times. "Twilight, look over to the left!" Twilight zoomed back out and looked to the left. A large wagon pulled by a donkey was approaching. It didn't look like it, but from what Rainbow and Applejack had told her, it had a team of royal guards hidden inside, ready to storm the building. "This is gonna be so awesome!" said Rainbow Dash, her hooves up to her cheeks. "Get this, Twi. Our soon-to-be arrested mystery pony always likes to mix his Crystal with sarsaparilla. Word on the street is it gives it some sass, whatever the hay that means. And he goes by the handle of 'Sir Oatmeal'. Weirdest name ever. I'll bet it's an Earth pony." "Oatmeal?" said Applejack. "Are you crazy? That's a pegasus name if ah ever heard one. Y'all got yer heads literally in the clouds all day, gives ya funny ideas." "I got 20 bits that says this guy's got hooves in the dirt." "Yer on!" The wagon came to a stop. Six royal guards spilled out, fully armored and moving with efficient speed. They quickly formed two lines of three each, one team running towards the back, the other towards the front. Each team consisted of a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony. The pegasi and earth ponies carried spears in their mouth. At the front door, Twilight saw that the unicorn was standing directly in front of the door, his horn starting to glow, head down with the horn pointing towards the center of the door. The pegasus hovered just above the door, and the earth pony was positioned against the wall to the side of the door. She could only see the pegasus from the back door team floating above the house, but assumed that they were doing the same thing. The pegasus in the back raised his hoof as a signal, and the one in the front did the same. When they both lowered their hooves to complete the signal and silently synchronize both teams, there was a sudden bright flash from the unicorn's horn, so bright that Twilight dropped her binoculars for a second. She hovered the binoculars up again. She could see that the door had been blown off of its hinges and the pegasus and earth pony guards were already inside, with the unicorn following them. She saw some more bright flashes of light (she assumed the unicorns were projecting flash-bang spells to disorient anyone inside). She heard a crashing sound, and a loud and gruff-sounding female scream. "Oatmeal's a mare? Didn't expect that." said Applejack. Rainbow Dash hovered up above the bush. "Now we'll see who was right." Applejack and Twilight both stepped out from the bush, not needing to keep a low profile anymore. Twilight kept the binoculars up and kept looking at the front door, and saw the two Earth ponies coming out the front door, dragging a disoriented and tied up criminal out with them. "Ah see wings." said Applejack with a smile. "Thank ya kindly fer yer 20 bit contribution to the apple fund!" Twilight adjusted the focus to get a good look at the criminal. "Nope. You were both wrong. It's a griffon." she looked at them both. "Guess the bet's off?" Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. She started to laugh, but then suddenly her eyes went wide open. She swooped down and pushed Twilight roughly out of the way to look through the binoculars again. "Oh Celestia. Tell me it's not... it's... it's Gilda." Applejack's grin disappeared. She put her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder, a concerned look on her face. Rainbow pushed her hoof away, then hovered up in the air with her forelegs crossed in front of her. "She made her choice. Guess Ponyville wasn't too lame for her after all." After a moment of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up. "Would it be all right if I had a look inside the drug lab?" Applejack put her hoof to her chin and thought for a second. "Listen, ah'm gonna go ahead and check that everything's under control. Y'all just wait here 'till ah get back." Applejack and Rainbow Dash went off to talk with the guards at the scene. Momentarily by herself, Twilight continued watching through her binoculars. She was still curious about the Crystal Spark trade, but what she had seen today pretty much convinced her that it wouldn't be worth the trouble. She would be going directly against an elite team of anti-drug enforcement agents organized by Celestia herself. There's no way she could hope to go up against a force like that. She doubted there were any books in the library that could tell her how to deal drugs and how to stay out of trouble. Twilight sighed in resignation. She was just about to give up when she caught a sudden flash of pink movement in her peripheral vision. It came from the second-floor window of the building next to the one where they nabbed Gilda. Twilight jumped back into the bush and focused in on the window. A face peeked up in the window. Pinkie Pie. "What are you doing here?" Twilight whispered to herself as she observed Pinkie in fascination. Pinkie was nervously looking right and left. There were the remains of chocolate and icing around her mouth and in her mane. She dipped out of sight again and appeared a moment later wearing a comically large stovepipe hat, thick-rimmed glasses, and a false moustache. She carefully crept out of the window. One of the guards walked out around the front of the house and Pinkie Pie struck a pose, apparently trying to act as if she were a statue. A very strange and colorful statue that was hanging out the second floor window of a house. Luckily for her, the guard didn't think to look up. He was just walking to the wagon. Pinkie Pie let out a breath of relief after the guard passed by, and wiped her hoof across her face. Unfortunately the motion wiped the false moustache off and it floated out in front of her. Frantically realizing that her brilliant disguise was ruined she jumped away from the window and reached out to grab it. Twilight's binoculars went out of focus for a second so she wasn't entirely sure, but it seemed to her that Pinkie Pie hovered in the air for a good 3 seconds or so, fixing the false moustache back onto her face before looking down and falling the moment she realized she wasn't standing on anything. The guard, hearing the noise, turned around, but Pinkie had landed into a sideways roll that left her hidden behind a hay bale. The guard walked up toward the hay bale. Pinkie jumped into the hay bale backwards, leaving nothing but her hat, glasses, and moustache visible at the top of the bale. Sweat broke out on Twilight's forehead. It was only a matter of time before the guard saw it. About 10 agonizing seconds later, the guard finally looked up. He immediately leapt to the top of the hay bale, knocking off the top bits of hay along with the pieces of Pinkie Pie's disguise. Twilight gasped. Pinkie Pie wasn't there. "What?" said Twilight, shocked. "Where's Pinkie Pie?" "Here I am!" said Pinkie, in the bush right next to Twilight. Twilight jumped and managed to shove her hoof into her own mouth fast enough to muffle her scream. How in the hay did she get there so fast? "Whatcha doin' out here Twilight?" said Pinkie Pie, tilting her head and blinking rapidly. "Spying on me without me noticing again?" "What am I doing? What are YOU doing?" Twilight said in a hoarse whisper. "You're... you're Mr. Oatmeal!" "Well, not anymore, silly. They think that's Gilda so I need to come up with a new name. Ooh! Maybe Mr. Muffin, or Ms. Pancake, or Dr. Swizzle Straw, or..." Twilight shoved her hoof in Pinkie's mouth, silencing her momentarily. "Let me get this straight... you are one of biggest producers of Crystal Spark in Ponyville, or at least you were before the raid today?" "Mmm hmm" said Pinkie. Twilight let her hoof fall from Pinkie's mouth. "I... I don't believe it." "Please, pretty please with a cherry on top, don't tell the others about this! After today, I'm back to square one. No! Even less than square one. Square zero! Except that a zero is a circle, not a square! The guards are gonna take everything!" Twilight looked back to the house and realized that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were coming back. "Pinkie, you have to get out of here. AJ and Rainbow are coming back." "You promise not to tell them?" said Pinkie, puppy-dog eyes at full power. "I promise, now go!" whispered Twilight. "Pinkie Promise?" Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and went through the well-rehearsed motions. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. GET OUT!" "Seeya later!" Pinkie Pie bolted away in a flash. - Later that night, Twilight knocked on the front door of Sugar Cube corner. She waited a few seconds, knocked again, waited again. No response. She walked around to the back and saw several holes dug into the ground. Pinkie Pie's head popped up from one of the holes. "Oh hey Twilight!" Before Twilight could say anything she disappeared into the hole again. Pinkie dug furiously, flinging dirt out the hole. Twilight stepped to the edge of the hole and looked in. Nobody there. Pinkie Pie emerged from another hole behind her, startling her. "You wanna help me dig?" Twilight turned around. "What are you digging for?" "I had some money hidden under the dirt for a rainy day. It's not raining, but I really need that money now. I wish I remembered where I hid it!" Twilight looked around at all the holes in the ground. She saw something odd. "There's a big red X painted there. Think that might be a clue?" Pinkie Pie popped out of her hole (yet another different hole - Twilight just didn't question it). "I knew there was some reason why I painted that! You sure are a smarty pants, Twi!" Pinkie Pie started digging at the X. "Pinkie, I'm here because I think we can help each other. I can get you back in the game." "What game?" asked Pinkie. "Are we playing already? Did I lose? Best two out of three?" "I mean the Crystal Spark game." "Oh, that wasn't a game. I was doing that for real!" Twilight facehoofed. "No, I don't mean like a real game, I mean a... Let me start again. I can help you get back into the business of producing and selling Crystal Spark again." "Really?" said Pinkie, stopping her digging. She looked at Twilight quizzically. "This isn't like baking cupcakes. Nobody has a problem with you when you're making cupcakes. Especially if there's lots of chocolate, and candy sprinkles. This is bad stuff! And you're a goody four-shoes! No nice little niceypants like you just starts BAKING BAD overnight!" Pinkie Pie looked away from Twilight, winking towards some imaginary audience. Twilight groaned. "Look... I've been doing the research. I know the chemical components, I know where they're found, and I have the magic skills to put everything together. You have connections. You know everyone in Ponyville. You know how to get the product moving. Together we can make a lot of money." "Now hold your horses!" said Pinkie. "I don't need you to bake for me! I can do it myself just fine!" Twilight laughed. "I saw your lab after you left earlier today. I'm surprised you were even able to make anything with that amateur setup. Have you ever even read a single science textbook? And sarsaparilla? Really?" "Hey, sarsaparilla is my signature! It gives it more sass, silly!" "I'm giving you an opportunity here." said Twilight, glaring at her intensely. "We can do it my way, or I can turn you into the Canterlot guards." Pinkie gasped. "You Pinkie Promised!" Twilight continued to glare at Pinkie. "Yes, I Pinkie Promised." Her horn glowed as she telekinetically picked up a cupcake from inside Sugar Cube Corner. "I said... cross my heart and hope to fly..." Without breaking eye contact with Pinkie, she floated the cupcake out the window. "Stick a cupcake..." she flung the cupcake directly at her own open left eye. The intent of the action was simply to prove to Pinkie that she was serious. However, sticking a cupcake in your eye, as it turned out, was a lot more painful than she expected. Twilight screamed and rolled around on the ground, icing and tears flowing from her eye. Pinkie Pie stared down at Twilight, slack-jawed and confused. "Ohhhh it hurts! My eye hurts so much!" screamed Twilight. "Why did I do that? Aaah!" Pinkie Pie continued staring. Twilight continued rolling around in pain. "Aaaagh! I hate cupcakes today! Damn you, cupcake! So much pain! My world is nothing but pain!" Twilight curled into a ball, sobbing. Finally, Pinkie finished processing all the options in her mind. "Okey Dokey Lokey!" I got a new chapter done, but I'm now working on the story over at http://www.fimfiction.net/story/29716/Baking-Bad So check it out there for the latest updates!

EDIT: I'm continuing this story on FimFiction at http://www.fimfiction.net/story/29716/Baking-Bad Yeah, I've seen a couple of parody trailers and an image blog based on the concept of crossing over Breaking Bad and MLP, but as far as I can tell nobody's tried to write out a full fanfic of it. So I'll give it a shot. I'm only planning to write to around where the end of the first episode of Breaking Bad was, but if I feel sufficiently motivated I may keep going. Prologue A plain yellow dress floated gracefully through the air, coming to rest on the ground shortly before a hot air balloon fell on top of it. "Pinkie! Wake up!" Twilight Sparkle frantically grabbed the ropes of the deflating hot air balloon as it bounced across the rocky terrain. The sound of a roaring dragon echoed in the distance. Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were both wearing gas masks. Pinkie Pie was completely unconscious, and the two corpses that shared the basket of their balloon were in a worse state. One was a griffon, the other a unicorn. The wind kept pushing the balloon faster, dragging it over more rocky terrain until the bottom of the basket clipped a rock and tipped over, spilling all four of them out onto the hard rocky ground. Burners, flasks full of chemicals, and other equipment spilled out among them. Twilight held out a hoof to stop herself from rolling. The ground was slightly inclined. Twilight watched a break-resistant flask bounce across the rocks, and fall out into open air, and that was when she realized she was mere inches away from a sheer hundred foot drop. Twilight noticed Pinkie Pie's limp body still sliding towards the edge. She concentrated her magic energy to lift Pinkie Pie up and safely dropped her next to a boulder. Twilight struggled to stand up. She heard the dragon roaring again. Louder this time. It was coming for them! She limped towards the crashed and now completely deflated balloon. Her gas mask was cracked, and she could barely see. She took a deep breath and took off the gas mask. Twilight rifled through the debris, feeling some small painful shards of glass in her hooves. Found a scroll of paper and a quill. She quickly levitated those items and ran away from the balloon with them to a safe distance before breathing in again. Another even louder dragon roar. It was now unmistakable to Twilight that the dragon was coming for her. She fumbled with the scroll, unrolling it until she had scrolled past all of her notes to some blank paper. She began to write. Dear Princess Celestia, This is not an admission of guilt. I only wish that you pass on this message to my friends and my family, and that they know everything I've done was for them. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie, you were always my best friends and will be forever. Spike, you were always there for me, and I love you like a son. I hope you know that. You're my big dragon now. There are going to be a lot of things about me that are going to come to light very soon. Please know that I only had you in my heart. Goodbye. The next dragon roar was so loud she felt the ground shake. She could hear the beating of the dragon's wings. Twilight dropped her journal and looked around. She couldn't risk a teleport spell in her current condition and in unfamiliar mountainous terrain. No telling if they'd end up inside solid rock or in the air with a long drop. Her back to the cliff, she gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. She thought to herself "what would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do?". She opened her eyes again, staring at the top of the mountain where she knew the dragon would appear soon. She would only get one shot. Her horn started humming and glowing as she built up the magical energy inside of her. She could feel the power surge through her body... Chapter One TWO WEEKS EARLIER Twilight looked out the window of her humble little house. It never failed. Every morning she would inevitably look at the old library which used to be her home in what seemed to be another life. A burning smell snapped her out of her nostalgia. She ran to the stove and flipped the pancakes she was cooking, which had unfortunately begun to burn on one side. "Morning Twi!" said Spike, walking in from his bedroom and yawning. Spike was really starting to show his transition from baby dragon to young adolescent dragon. He was twice Twilight's height, and tiny green winglets had begun to sprout from his shoulders. His voice had dropped quite a bit recently. Spike looked at the stove and held his nose. "More of your signature charcoal-flavored pancakes this morning?" Twilight groaned. "If you don't like my breakfasts you could try cooking it yourself. Try doing it by breathing fire instead of using the stove." "Why would I do that?" "Because then you'd spend a few minutes without making any snarky comments." Twilight floated the pancakes and some scrambled eggs over to the dinner table, and pulled a couple of chairs. "Hey Twi..." Spike nudged Twilight in the side. "did you know that you don't have to cook gems?" "You know as well as I do that I can't afford to feed you gems every day. And YOU'RE not the one having a birthday today." Spike smiled warmly. "Awwww. I was just about to wish you a happy birthday, honest!" "I believe you, Spike." Twilight kissed him on the forehead. "Now eat your damn charcoal-flavored pancakes." - In a small room near Canterlot Castle, Twilight levitated a piece of chalk and spelled out the name Starswirl on the blackboard. "Does anyone who this is?" she asked her Magic Kindergarten class. The little unicorns all stared at her blankly. One started to telekinetically pick his own nose. "Really?" gasped Twilight. "Starswirl the Bearded! He's probably the most important wizard in the history of Equestria! Back when Equestria was first founded, he developed magical techniques for the unicorns that allowed them to work together with Earth ponies to farm the land, and to help the Pegasi more efficiently control the weather." Blank stares. "The pegasi could create tornados to bring water up into the clouds for rain, but with a little magical spark to start the air swirling, they could do it with half as much wingpower. Meanwhile other unicorns who had trained in detection magic honed their skills to locate the richest soil and pools of groundwater." None of the unicorns were listening to Twilight, but she continued anyway. "The interesting thing about this is that, while Starswirl's magic spells were designed for specific practical purposes, the overall goal was completely different. Three races who had been at each others' throats for generations, at last working together towards a common goal. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together, you can see the whole picture. His ultimate magic spell was one of genuine friendship. Friendship, you see, is magic." Twilight smiled brightly and emitted a noise that can only be described as a squee. One filly raised her hoof. "Yes, Stardust?" "What's the spell that blows things up?" Twilight facehoofed. - The Friendship Express came to a halt at Ponyville station. Twilight got off with the other passengers, sighing to herself. Another birthday. She wondered which birthday it was exactly that she began to think more about getting older than about the party. She remembered so many years ago, wearing that yellow party dress, dancing like a maniac in the middle of a bunch of snooty stuck-up Canterlot ponies, just not giving a buck what anyone thought. Those days seemed long gone. Twilight was supposed to meet Spike at the library to help him look up some information about, well, something. Twilight forgot what it was because it was an obvious ruse to set up a surprise Birthday party for her. She resolved to act as surprised as possible. Twilight opened the door to the library and walked into a darkened room, pretending not to hear the ponies shuffling around. Three. Two. One. "Surprise!" Unsurprisingly, when the light came on Twilight had a face full of Pinkie Pie. "Isn't it so awesome! I think there's even more ponies here than there were last year, and there were a lot of ponies here last year and I was like WHOA are we all gonna fit in here? But then we did, and we do this year too! And the Cakes baked you a cake and the cake that the Cakes baked is going to be the most delicious thing ever but I couldn't resist it so I ate it and they had to bake you another one which might not be quite as good as the first one because they were a little tired, but I'm sure it's great anyway 'cause they don't make bad cakes and UH OH, TWITCHY TAIL! TWITCH-A-TWITCH!" Everypony in the room dived for cover. "Gotcha!" giggled Pinkie, a mischevious grin on her face. Sighs of relief echoed through the library as they all retreated from their hiding places. "So where's this cake anyways?" asked Twilight, a second before it landed on her head seemingly out of nowhere. "PINKIEEEEEE!" - Ten minutes later, Twilight was still in the bathroom, trying to get icing out of her mane. She was particularly annoyed at some gray icing that just wouldn't come out of one strand. Suddenly, she became aware that it was not gray icing she was looking at, but gray hair. Her first one. "Guess I'm officially old starting today." Twilight sighed, blowing the hair away from her face. She walked back into the main room of the library. The usual DJ that Rarity and Pinkie Pie hired for occasions was there, playing some very loud techno music which Twilight imagined didn't play in libraries very often. Some ponies were dancing, some were talking. Applejack and Rainbow Dash hoof-wrestling at a table. Rarity and Fluttershy having a conversation about the dresses they wore to the party. Pinkie Pie was bouncing in place to the beat of the song by herself, eyes closed, gigantic smile on her face. Twilight had no idea what it was that kept Pinkie Pie so happy and energetic all the time. A feeling of depression that had been welling up under the surface all day was dangerously close to coming out. She had one day been Princess Celestia's student. She had such a bright future ahead of her, phenomenal magic powers, and an amazing grasp of many different scientific fields. Combining magic and chemistry together she could have even been a famous mage or inventor. Maybe some nerdy pony in the future would dress up as Twilight the Purple for Nightmare Night. But at some point she just lost some spark, some drive to push herself to greatness. How did she end up becoming the most overqualified Magic Kindergarten teacher in Equestria? Temporarily forgetting where she was, she dropped her head. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were having yet another hoof-wrestling match when they both saw Twilight. They immediately stopped and walked toward her. "What's the matter, sugarcube?" asked Applejack. "You feeling old or something?" asked Rainbow Dash. Applejack shot Rainbow an annoyed a glance, who had already realized her own faux pas. "Something like that." sighed Twilight. "Sorry, didn't mean to bring anyone down with me. It's a party. Let's have fun!" Applejack patted Twilight on the back. "Ah do believe the karaoke's about to start. Do y'all wanna duet with me?" Rainbow Dash reared up and flapped her wings. "Hey, nobody's singing before me!" "So..." Twilight started, hoping she could finish figuring out something conversational to say while she was talking. "How's your new job been treating you two?" Applejack chuckled to herself. "Aw shucks, ah don't wanna sound like a showoff or nothin'..." "But I do!" Interrupted Rainbow Dash. "We're the best in the business! The ultimate team! No criminal punk is safe when team Appledash is on patrol!" Applejack rolled her eyes. "Appledash? You know ah don't like that name. But anyway, ah'll let you know, the latest drug bust we co-ordinated got us three arrests and 16 pounds of pure uncut Crystal Spark." Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Just curious. How much money is that worth?" "How much you got on you?" said Rainbow Dash. Applejack shot her a stern look. "Oh come on, AJ" laughed Rainbow. "I'm just horsing around. But seriously, 16 pounds is about 30,000 bits, give or take a couple thousand." "Wow" said Twilight. "Why are they producing it in Ponyville so much? I thought this was a nice quiet place." "Location." said Applejack. "Ah reckon Ponyville's the perfect place to set up shop. We got most of the raw materials naturally, and we're right between Canterlot and Manehattan. You'd be surprised how many o' them hoity-toity ponies up there are addicted to the stuff." she paused a second. "Ah don't mean Hoity Toity himself." Twilight contemplated some of the mathematical figures in her head. She knew the primary ingredients were Sapphire and Jade crystals, all which were plentiful in the areas surrounding Ponyville. With the right magic spell to fuse them together, and with the populations of Manehattan and Canterlot as the primary markets... "Twi! Why don't you just go ahead and ask us?" said Rainbow Dash, putting her hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Huh?" said Twilight, suddenly wondering how much of her thoughts her face had betrayed. "You know you wanna ride along with team Appledash on one of our patrols, see how we take of business!" "Oh, I don't know..." said Twilight. "Would I just be in your way?" "Ah'll let you in on a secret, sugarcube." Applejack smiled. "99% of the job ain't nothin' like in your adventure books. Lots of sitting around watchin' ponies. And we ain't even the ones chasin' down bad ponies. We just point the royal guards in the right direction." Rainbow Dash jumped in the air and hovered excitedly. "Three days from now we're gonna kick one of the biggest Crystal producers in Ponyville right in flank!" she air-kicked for emphasis. "You gotta come with us and see the action!" "Oh I don't know." said Twilight. She attempted to change the subject. "So, AJ, how's the farm?" Applejack smiled proudly. "Applebloom is provin' to be one heck of an applebucker. Maybe even better that ah was back in mah prime." Twilight nodded. "Nice to know it's in good hooves." - The day after, Twilight was back to work. The Friendship Express train took its daily path up the mountain to Canterlot. Twilight yawned, looking out the window to the towers of Canterlot. Twilight was slightly aware that she was breathing faster than normal. The train went dark as it entered a tunnel. Suddenly Twilight's heart rate increased. She shifted uncomfortably in place at the sudden unexpected feeling. The darkness of the tunnel seemed to be closing in around her. Her horn began to glow faintly on its own and sweat was breaking out all over. She tried to reach for the window to open it to let some air in but at that moment the train emerged from the tunnel and the blast of light overwhelmed her vision. She screamed and fell backwards, her vision pure white, gasping for air until she lost consciousness. She could faintly hear the sound of concerned ponies around her. - "Twilight Sparkle?" said the doctor. "Do you understand what I just told you?" Twilight Sparkle was staring at the doctor's mane, everything else in the world completely out of focus. She felt dizzy and disoriented, and thought she heard a ringing in her ears. But she had heard every word. "Yes," she said, staring blankly. "I'm suffering from horn rot." The doctor chose his words carefully. "It's very important that you fully understand the extent of your illness. I'm not sure if you've..." "Yes, I understand." still blank, still staring at the doctor's mane. "If I had caught it earlier I could have had my horn amputated to extend my life at the cost of my magic ability. But the infection has already spread to my brain. With good treatment I could live two years, but the last eight months or so my brain will have deteriorated significantly. It's just... well... your mane. It looks like a muffin." The doctor gave her a confused look.