Another OC thread?!

[Poetic Justice 170]

"Oh no! Another person wants people to come over and say that their OC is good so he can feel better about himself!"

 

Yyeeaa, no. See, I've gotten a lot of complaints about my OC when I RP in certian universes because they say that it is too unbelievable in the cannon universe. So, I wanted to see if you guys had any thoughts on how I can make it a more versatile character to use in different universe RPs.

 

Character Info

 

One last thing is that I want this character to be in a podcast I have plans of doing as a college project. I would like to know if you think he is a character that can hold water as a protagonist.

[Phoenix Flair 332]

Well firstly, your personality description is cut off.

 

The character has a pretty good story, but it's also a long and incredibly disjointed story.  I like the bit about the Trixie thing, and finding his love for artificial magic, but the rest is a bit confusing.  Why did the Everfree Forest monster interest him in the first place?  What about that inspired him to become a guard?  Also, the whole thing with the scout squad or the Unicorn... something or other, was very confusing.

 

Another issue is that you depend too heavily on little details.  The story ought to be an overview of a character, not zooming in to a night in a bar, or a blind gravekeeper who would not fit into RP's.  It's just tough to keep track of these things in a quick comprehension read.

 

Also, why is his name Poetic Justice?  As far as I can tell, he hasn't done anything with poetry, and hasn't dealt out justice either.

 

Hope this helps.  And hope that I made a lick of sense.    Good luck with your character!  

[Poetic Justice 170]

Well firstly, your personality description is cut off.

 

The character has a pretty good story, but it's also a long and incredibly disjointed story.  I like the bit about the Trixie thing, and finding his love for artificial magic, but the rest is a bit confusing.  Why did the Everfree Forest monster interest him in the first place?  What about that inspired him to become a guard?  Also, the whole thing with the scout squad or the Unicorn... something or other, was very confusing.

 

Another issue is that you depend too heavily on little details.  The story ought to be an overview of a character, not zooming in to a night in a bar, or a blind gravekeeper who would not fit into RP's.  It's just tough to keep track of these things in a quick comprehension read.

 

Also, why is his name Poetic Justice?  As far as I can tell, he hasn't done anything with poetry, and hasn't dealt out justice either.

 

Hope this helps.  And hope that I made a lick of sense.    Good luck with your character!  

Psht, I am a Fanfiction Writer, I love details...ANYWAY. To answer some questions-

1) He was inspired to become a guard because it was the guards that go into the Everfree forest for monster control. 

2) The night at the bar was a turning point.

3) What Unicorn?

4) Poetic Justice is a literary term meaning all acts will ultimately be rewarded or punished. Kind of like karma. 

I do see your points though. I'll re-write it description and try to make it better.