searching Bangcolt Arena! (Fighting/Sol) -OOC- (Never closed)

[J.R. 3,183]

@@AmberDust,

Hey there Ambs. I'm the DM here. Welcome to club pandemonium the Bangcolt RP. Sol is a big thing here, so get on the train, off the train, and walk into the city for the best time of your life!

[Star Saber 114]

 

 

Welcome to club pandemonium

 

 

I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this

[Unicorncob 5,681]

 

 

I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this

 

 

Be happy

[cwhip9 1,078]

woot! been wating to jump in didn't know if sign up was closed or not do to HOW LONG ITS GOING ON. but seriously link in the description cant wait to jump in

[Guest]

Hola cwhip.

 

 

Enzo shall remember crescent this time

[cwhip9 1,078]

Hola cwhip.

 

 

Enzo shall remember crescent this time

agreed I was just debating where the rematch would happen, pokemon coliseum or somewhere else, maybe Coresant?   

[Guest]

@@cwhip9, 

 

I'll put in a good word for you, to join the rp i mean. We use skype as our ooc most of the time though.

[AmberDust 1,118]

@@AmberDust,

Hey there Ambs. I'm the DM here. Welcome to club pandemonium the Bangcolt RP. Sol is a big thing here, so get on the train, off the train, and walk into the city for the best time of your life!

9u9 You certainly have my curiosity, but I'm not really sure how to enter this RP....or why Amber would be here. Maybe she got off at the wrong stop.

Then again...maybe I will join. Here's a bit of an application:

 

 

 

She fights with illusions, teleportation, and bucks, only occasionally using magic bursts, as they arent her strong point. She tries to rend her enemies prone by confusing them.

 

Amber has good stamina and physical strength compared to most unicorns, as she is a bit of a survivalist/adventurer, but she's still more of a tactician. She knows a few spells, although most of them are more for everyday use than they are for battle. She is clever, and tries to make use of her abilities to their best potential.

 

Amber is not accustomed to fighting yet, and came to the arena to practice and improve herself for the sake of future adventures. She also wants to experience the culture here, of course.

[J.R. 3,183]

9u9 You certainly have my curiosity, but I'm not really sure how to enter this RP....or why Amber would be here. Maybe she got off at the wrong stop.

Then again...maybe I will join. Here's a bit of an application:

 

 

 

 

Amber has good stamina and physical strength compared to most unicorns, as she is a bit of a survivalist/adventurer, but she's still more of a tactician. She knows a few spells, although most of them are more for everyday use than they are for battle. She is clever, and tries to make use of her abilities to their best potential.

 

Amber is not accustomed to fighting yet, and came to the arena to practice and improve herself for the sake of future adventures. She also wants to experience the culture here, of course.

That's cool. I like how her weakness is a lack of experience. She shouldn't really jump in fights just yet.

 

Introduce her however you like, just have her take the train to the city.

Here is a generalization of what the city looks like, so you can have sort of an idea.

 

If you wanna talk to somepony, I can set you up, just lemme know.

Also, she is accepted.

[sonicdashie 120]

I'm not gonna be on for a while cuz of grades, but I should be back within a week, maybe more (maybe even in a few days)

[AmberDust 1,118]

I'm not gonna be on for a while cuz of grades, but I should be back within a week, maybe more (maybe even in a few days)

Don't let your grades suffer for the sake of RP! Take as long as you need! D:

[Not Yellow Diamond 925]

@@cwhip9,

 

Ok, I'll give my honest opinion and I think I share this with the other DM's...

1.) The profile, it looks good overall, except for the personality section. Now, I'm not going to make you fill in like paragraphs and paragraphs of infortmation but I would like to ask you to either put in the profile which would be the best option, 7 traits he has as far as personality goes. I'd like some good and some negative. Just to see who he is. Because, you can't really play a charcter to others without that being defined.

2.) I'm typically not a stickler for grammar but after reading some other posts, it is a bit hard to follow some of them due to mistakes or improper use of words, grammatical tools, etc. But, it shouldn't be too much of an issue. I won't ever turn someone down for writing, that's the point of RPing a bit too, isn't it? To get better at writing. It's why I'm here. So, just letting you know, it's a bit hard to understand your posts at times when their are such errors.

So, this isn't accepting or declining. This is just saying give me what I ask for then we'll see. And just to recap, what I ask is some fleshing out in the OC's personality. That's all, and chances are you'll be accepted. So, let me know if you need help or have any questions. 

 

[Guest]

I can grammar nazi for you if you like, for this RP, I mean

[Star Saber 114]

 

 

Here is a generalization of what the city looks like, so you can have sort of an idea.

  Except it's been changed around completely XD

[cwhip9 1,078]

@@cwhip9,

 

Ok, I'll give my honest opinion and I think I share this with the other DM's...

 

1.) The profile, it looks good overall, except for the personality section. Now, I'm not going to make you fill in like paragraphs and paragraphs of infortmation but I would like to ask you to either put in the profile which would be the best option, 7 traits he has as far as personality goes. I'd like some good and some negative. Just to see who he is. Because, you can't really play a charcter to others without that being defined.

 

2.) I'm typically not a stickler for grammar but after reading some other posts, it is a bit hard to follow some of them due to mistakes or improper use of words, grammatical tools, etc. But, it shouldn't be too much of an issue. I won't ever turn someone down for writing, that's the point of RPing a bit too, isn't it? To get better at writing. It's why I'm here. So, just letting you know, it's a bit hard to understand your posts at times when their are such errors.

 

So, this isn't accepting or declining. This is just saying give me what I ask for then we'll see. And just to recap, what I ask is some fleshing out in the OC's personality. That's all, and chances are you'll be accepted. So, let me know if you need help or have any questions. 

 

 

I knew I was still missing a good chunk of something guess it was just staring me in the face I'll start on it soon as for my grammar I do admit the biggest flaw is that itself and the name of my OC. For the longest time I had it in my head how his named spelled matched that "like a crescent moon" but stuck with the spelling as an stand out trait with him. 

Again im glad you brought this up really and ill add whats needed with his traits   

[Not Yellow Diamond 925]

 

 

I knew I was still missing a good chunk of something guess it was just staring me in the face I'll start on it soon as for my grammar I do admit the biggest flaw is that itself and the name of my OC. For the longest time I had it in my head how his named spelled matched that "like a crescent moon" but stuck with the spelling as an stand out trait with him.  Again im glad you brought this up really and ill add whats needed with his traits   

 

 

Well, admittedly, the quality of writing is a major thing in RPing. However, your willingness to cooperate says quite a bit. Let's just say that. i'd rather work with the the dumbest, kindest person ever than the smartest, most insensitive. Not saying you're dumb by any means, but I am saying, your character can often times make up for quality. So being cooperative and respectful had definitely helped your chances, to me at least.

So, as of now... I'll be waiting to see how much you put into the OC as far as personality. Anxious to see   

[cwhip9 1,078]

 

 

Well, admittedly, the quality of writing is a major thing in RPing. However, your willingness to cooperate says quite a bit. Let's just say that. i'd rather work with the the dumbest, kindest person ever than the smartest, most insensitive. Not saying you're dumb by any means, but I am saying, your character can often times make up for quality. So being cooperative and respectful had definitely helped your chances, to me at least.

 

So, as of now... I'll be waiting to see how much you put into the OC as far as personality. Anxious to see   

 

all righty i'll keep updating and working on Cresent as much I can, again wheather you guys say ye or nay im not worried on it sense its your show anyways thanks for the pointers now off to the updateing

[AmberDust 1,118]

 

 

 

She stepped through the door.

"Hello?" she said.

I guess there was nopony there. Now what?

[Mars Orbit 729]

I guess there was nopony there. Now what?

 

I can have one of my OCs show up if you want

[AmberDust 1,118]

I can have one of my OCs show up if you want

Nah, I don't want you to have to retcon anything. I guess Amber could just see that the building was empty and go look elsewhere. Which buildings are currently occupied?

[Mars Orbit 729]

Nah, I don't want you to have to retcon anything. I guess Amber could just see that the building was empty and go look elsewhere. Which buildings are currently occupied?

I honestly have no idea. Maybe if you go walking? 9/10 times something happens when you go walking.

[mrcool909090 151]

May I join?

[Not Yellow Diamond 925]

 

 

May I join?

 

May I hear why you want too and see an OC profile of who you want to enter?  

[mrcool909090 151]

1.it seems like a fun rp

2.https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/zed-stick-r8904

[Not Yellow Diamond 925]

@@mrcool909090,

 

Ok, right off the bat I defnitely have my criticisms...

 

1.) I'd like to have the backstory, although it doesn't have to be done because we are almost about to accept one who doesn't have it done at all :T It's just nice to get the bare minimum when it comes to origins. Something we can use to relate to or it allows us to conceptualize the character better.

 

2.) His personality seems really, "One note." All I know about him from reading is he is strategic and drags his friends into his strategic escapades. That isn't a whole lot for me to go off of...So, as far as the personality... If I were to be perfectly honest. It's not up to par for me to say yes since I know virtually nothing about the character. I don't know how he behaves, how he acts around others, or even if he's nice or an arsehole. These are things you need to let me know, unlike a book, you're not building a character for a reader to follow, you're having characters work off of your character and in order to do that the other roleplayers are going to need more than less than the bar minimum.

 

3.) IDRC about the age but this is just a suggestion... We have the CMC, Silver Spoon and Bitchface Mcgee in this RP... And the former are aged 10 - 11 and the latter 12 - 13. So in comparison, your OC is a colt, a juveile which I'm not sure you were going for or not because it doesn't look like he has a filly design. 

 

So... To just come out an say it, for now, it isn't a no. It's a, "It needs work." Kind of thing. And I have no problem in accepting the OC while you work on it, however I won't until I have a reason to believe I should let you rooleplay with him before the profile is complete, so if you have any evidence of where you have roleplayed before, like examples of your writing. I'd love to see those and perhaps that could  better your chances. 

And, also be aware, this is my critique and mine alone. I have two other DM's that have equal say to mine and one who technically has the veto power but it's a democracy so no

But, to help your chances with them, I won't just criticize, I'll give you advice on what you can do...

- You need to flesh out the personality... A lot... Like, I need to know more than he's a strategist and late to the punch. I need personality traits at the very minimal. And a variety of them, both negative and positive. So, that's point #1
 

- I recommend you change the age unless he is indeed a delinquent colt. 

 

- (Optional but recommended) Some sort of backstory or orgins...

- Lastly, if your OC will be fighting, I need to know about his fighting style and capabilities. However, your OC does not have to be a fighter so just let me know that they aren't.