Why is there such a push to get people to tell other's you are a Brony?

[GeekySonic 1,150]

I just do it because I feel like it. My treasured hoard of nerdy t-shirts (sadly packed as of right now) includes a number of images including Star Wars, Halo, FNAF, Super Mario Bros, Walking Dead, Fallout, Avengers, and on and on.

 

I also have a few pony shirts. I don't go around screaming to the world that I'm a Brony. I just express it to let people know, "Hey, this is me, these are the things I like, this is what you're getting into."

 

Besides, why not? I don't have a reason to let people know I'm a Brony, but I don't have a reason NOT to.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

Your comparison makes no sense. Law and Order and NCIS are pop culture icons fervently watched by a general, older audience. Even to this day, FIM is hit with the sexist stereotype that anything related to ponies should be catered towards girls only.

 

Many of us here are lucky. I live in a very liberal city and have a very liberal family. My mom, dad, and friends don't care. But not everyone is, and it's ignorant to paint the situation so broadly. Some members here might remember how one brony from this forum came out of the stable and his family ostracized him and spewed homophobia at him. Near BronyCon three years ago, I remember talking to a brony from Kentucky who kept his bronydom in the closet because his homophobic family stuck to gender roles.

 

What everyone here needs to understand is closet bronydom is a problem. But the problem isn't the bronies themselves. The problem is a sociocultural fear of combating gender roles. In conservative areas, gender roles play a factor into how you live for the rest of your life. Closet bronydom is a symptom of the problem, and we need to treat it seriously.

 

Agreed. You can't compare the two. The struggles the LGBT community face is a very real problem. The LGBT community is constantly oppressed every second of every day.

 

But that doesn't mean we as a community shouldn't treat closet bronydom seriously. There's still a sexist distaste towards males who like supposedly feminine products, and we've had bronies bullied over liking the show. An 11-year-old attempted suicide because kids bullied him for liking the show. Another brony was bullied for bringing his Dash backpack, and the school sided with the bullies by telling him to stop bringing it to school. Incidents like those are why closet bronydom exists, because they don't want to experience the pain those kids went through. You can't blame them.

 

Social justice and civil rights intertwine and each other. The real fear of being bullied for liking a product that doesn't conform to your gender — here, closet bronydom — is a symptom of a major feminist issue, and we should be sensitive towards it. To quote my post here:

I truly believe that bronies caused much of the problem by creating phraseology like "Closet Bronies" "Coming out of the stable", and "Coming out as a Brony." What do you think that sounds like to the uninitiated? The Brony community playfully began using innuendo implying homosexuality, and then acted all shocked and horrified when bullies picked up the ball and ran with it. Frankly, as someone who never had the nerve to "Come out" as bisexual to my parents, I find it distasteful. One is a life changing admission to the people you value the most. The other is admitting you watch a 22 minute cartoon.

 

At first glance, the backpack, and the suicide attempt incidents seem like they were why closet bronies came about. It's actually the other way around. Bronies creating the term "Closet Brony" caused these kids to be bullied when they were "Outed". This all dovetailed right in with the early bronies pretty much annoying the crap out of the entire internet with things like "Mods asleep, post ponies" on sites that had nothing to do with American animated shows.  I know it's not a popular outlook, but I really do believe that the highly vocal (Read that to mean really annoying) Bronies caused most of the problems right from the start. 

Edited January 17, 2016 by cuteycindyhoney

[Dark Qiviut 22,430]

I truly believe that bronies caused much of the problem by creating phraseology like "Closet Bronies" "Coming out of the stable", and "Coming out as a Brony." What do you think that sounds like to the uninitiated? The Brony community playfully began using innuendo implying homosexuality, and then acted all shocked and horrified when bullies picked up the ball and ran with it. Frankly, as someone who never had the nerve to "Come out" as bisexual to my parents, I find it distasteful. One is a life changing admission to the people you value the most. The other is admitting you watch a 22 minute cartoon.

 

At first glance, the backpack, and the suicide attempt incidents seem like they were why closet bronies came about. It's actually the other way around. Bronies creating the term "Closet Brony" caused these kids to be bullied when they were "Outed". This all dovetailed right in with the early bronies pretty much annoying the crap out of the entire internet with things like "Mods asleep, post ponies" on sites that had nothing to do with American animated shows.  I know it's not a popular outlook, but I really do believe that the highly vocal (Read that to mean really annoying) Bronies caused most of the problems right from the start. 

You're objectively wrong on all of it. Why do closet bronies exist? Because there's a very sexist and homophobic stigma towards people who have the nerve to like something that doesn't conform to gender roles. You treat closet bronydom as if it lives in some form of vacuum. Reality doesn't work that way. Closet bronydom never exists in a vacuum and shouldn't come as a surprise.

 

Secondly, by saying that bronies are the people responsible for anti-bronies to bully other bronies, you're insinuating the same victim-blaming scare tactics as the school who told the boy he can't bring his backpack because it triggers bullying. Even if closet bronydom and bronydom as a whole didn't exist, the sexist stereotypes of boys and men liking feminine things have been around for decades and will exist for other products unless we as a people do something to change it! Not every brony engages into the core or outer fandom: Often, they choose to keep their interest in the closet by themselves. A lot of bronies are closet bronies because they don't anyone to bully them; what happened with kids like Morones accentuates this process, because they don't want what happened to him happen to themselves. Bullies are 100% responsible for bullying others, period. Bullies are responsible for bullying bronies, period. To say otherwise blames the victim.

 

Social justice doesn't live in a bubble. Closet bronydom is part of the much larger societal problem of the outside world pressuring them to conform to gender roles. All of us feel the pressure to conform to gender roles and will continue to forever until more of us challenge them. Ostracization of people not conforming to gender norms is a feminist issue that we overlook all the time. To change that, challenge the source: homophobic, sexist, and heterosexist gender norms. The more you challenge that, the more you help progress society and the more you help civil rights communities. Your whole reply scapegoats bronies and panders to those gender norms. It tells me you don't take this real issue seriously, which in turn negatively affects every civil rights community.

 

As a people, we should take closet bronydom seriously and challenge the gender roles pressuring all of us. Why?

 

Because it's the right thing to do.

Edited January 17, 2016 by Dark Qiviut

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

You're objectively wrong on all of it.

Saying someone is objectively wrong on everything they said because you don't agree, does not seem like a valid debate tactic to me. Having said that, I am finished with this thread. I have no wish to get myself into trouble again.

[Guest]

 

 

I truly believe that bronies caused much of the problem by creating phraseology like "Closet Bronies" "Coming out of the stable", and "Coming out as a Brony." What do you think that sounds like to the uninitiated? The Brony community playfully began using innuendo implying homosexuality, and then acted all shocked and horrified when bullies picked up the ball and ran with it. Frankly, as someone who never had the nerve to "Come out" as bisexual to my parents, I find it distasteful. One is a life changing admission to the people you value the most. The other is admitting you watch a 22 minute cartoon.

 

I think there is some truth to this. I give credit where it is due, and while people outing bronies for not following a gender role is wrong. Bronies tend to make a big statement about being a brony and that can make one a target for negative attention as well. It's the same as going "LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME." and then when everyone does going "STOP LOOKING AT ME!" A lot of bronies do overplay the brony thing a tad and need to tone it down just a bit.

 

However that is no reason to bully them at all. While I understand that bronies behaving in an obnoxious manner can trigger negative reactions and they should tread lightly there because unfortunately we can't make ignorant people just go away, it is the fault of the ignorant that will initiate insults and attacks that are to blame. Bronies just unfortunately set them off, but they are not to BLAME for that. It's just a matter of until things get better in the world, we should be aware that people generally react pretty crappy to stuff that they don't understand and we should be prepared to deal with that because it's truly the only way to stop this kind of idiocy. If everyone just stood up and told people to piss off when they were attacking other people for crap like liking a cartoon we wouldn't even be having this discussion.

 

While bronies make a fiasco out of being a brony, that isn't a crime and it doesn't warrant a punishment. Sure it's annoying, but so are Star Wars fans about Star Wars. Do they warrant a punishment? No because Star Wars is accepted enough that you actually get criticized for not liking it. 

[Lord Bradley 1,319]

From what I've experienced, It wasnt really that pressured. It basically went like this;

 

Family:

Me- Hey, Did'ya know I'm a Brony?

Family Member- *Stares at me and raises an Eyebrow*

Me- ... 

Family Member- ... *Shrugs*. Cool.

Me- Oh. I was expecting a larger response.

Family Member- Why? It's not like it matters. You're still family, and I don't really care if you like ponies, unicorns, fairies... 

Me- Oh. Awesome. Well, I'm gonna go watch a movie. Cya.

Family Member- Mhmm...

 

Friends:

Me- Hey, I've become a Brony.

Friend- Wait, one of those *******?

Me- Yes, one of "those *******".

Friend- ... So, you like ponies.

Me- Yep.

Friend- Yep... Is the show good?

Me- Mhmm.

Friend- Uh, great... So, wanna play a game later?

Me- Sure!

[Shanks 10,816]

The push exists because they feel that they will be better off if they stopped going out of their way to hide it from people which I can see in some cases but the potential social repercussions some especially young teens who still live with parents who may not be all that understanding have to deal with there are some that have no other choice but to hide it. It sucks and shouldn't have to happen because at the end of the day this is just a cartoon, a really good cartoon but still just a cartoon, but you have a lot of closed minded and bigoted morons who are afraid of bronies because they want the outdated gender roles that are being challenged by bronies being a thing to stay in place. Liking a show about cartoon ponies shouldn't be a big deal, but it is one of those things that society seems to want to make a big deal out of which leads many bronies to making a big deal out of it.

 

 

 

I never got the whole "How do I tell my family and friends that I'm a brony" thing. What makes people think others actually care what TV shows they watch? I'm a fan of procedural crime dramas, but I don't run around agonizing over how to tell people I like "Law and Order" or "NCIS".

That is a false equivalency because adults and teens aren't accused to being gay basement dwelling pedophiles for being into those shows and there aren't stories for those shows like the story of Michael Morones who was driven to attempting suicide because closed minded assholes bullied him about being into ponies. You do have a point that the less of a big deal bronies make about it the less of a big deal some others will make about it, but there are still people who would be just as closed minded and stupid even without the more annoying and unsavory bronies. You are underestimating the outright misogyny of many of these people who insist that any grown adult, particularly grown adult male who likes this must be a pedophile or something no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary.

 

I don't care what people think and don't make a big deal about liking ponies, but that is because I have learned how to deal with these people like most the hard way through years of bullying and torment. Granted all of it happened long before I got into ponies and was for reasons unrelated to that, but it is still a valid comparison because bullying is still bullying regardess of what the reason is and feeling you have to hide something that it is not even a big deal to begin with whether it is being gay or having a hobby that challenges outdated gender roles is still stressful. Telling these people how to have the strength to get the point where they don't care what others think and how to combat the bigots and trolls is a lot more productive and compassionate than this victim blaming that you are advocating. You have never been through bullying and people don't care you are into ponies? Good for you, but not everyone is as lucky as you are.

 

Do some bronies get overly dramatic and get a preachy victim complex? Of course and they annoy the crap out of me too but again different people have different circumstances and from what I have observed older bronies have it MUCH MUCH easier than younger ones due to differences in maturity of their peers as well having much more autonomy thus there being much less pressure to have to hide something like this.

[Guest]

 

 

Do some bronies get overly dramatic and get a preachy victim complex? Of course and they annoy the crap out of me too but again different people have different circumstances and from what I have observed older bronies have it MUCH MUCH easier than younger ones due to differences in maturity of their peers as well having much more autonomy thus there being much less pressure to have to hide something like this.

 

Agreed. Criticize the specific actions of those who engage in obnoxious behavior, but not the entire group as a whole because of those individuals. It has taken a bit to reach the point where I try not to stereotype the entire fanbase based on individuals.

 

Like by all means if someone does something stupid and obnoxious, call them out on it. But don't call them out on it BECAUSE they are bronies.

[Gestum 2,493]

Perhaps it's a desperate attempt to make this fandom stay relevant. That's the only reason that I can think of.

[Black Sabbath 2,486]

Because people are idiots.

[Dark Qiviut 22,430]

 

Saying someone is objectively wrong on everything they said because you don't agree, does not seem like a valid debate tactic to me.

Expressing an opinion isn't freedom from criticism of it. If you're going to express an opinion, back it up objectively. You use a false equivalency in your earlier post, scapegoat bronies for the existence of closet bronydom, and don't blame the real source of the problem, which is social norms casting on society like a cloud. Your opinion conformed to heterosexist stereotypes that we should dismantle, not look up to. You're objectively wrong, because your reason for the closet brony problem and overall solution blame the victim and carry dangerous consequences.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,575]

Never knew there was such a negative view from some about telling others. You know why I wish others would let others know? Because you shouldn't have to hide it. Seriously, what purpose does that serve? Do you have to scream from atop a mountain to the entire world? No, but I do think that if someone notices that you like this show, you should embrace it, not try to keep it hidden away like it is some horrific thing that no one should know that you like. 

 

As a fan of this show, you are never obligated to flat out tell others that you like the show, but what I don't like is when people actively try to hide that fact that they like the show. That is what I wish would end, because you don't have to hide the fact that you love a wonderful show. Do some bronies have a victim complex? Perhaps, but with how this society treats stuff like this and how much it has demonized it in the past, I can't say I blame them too much. Honestly, sometimes I feel like this fandom shuns those who may feel a bit oppressed when loving this show and I find that rather...depressing. 

[Dark Qiviut 22,430]

Perhaps it's a desperate attempt to make this fandom stay relevant. That's the only reason that I can think of.

Because people are idiots.

You're objectively wrong here, for you view this problem on the surface through stereotypical lenses. Look at how society as a whole treats people who don't pander to gender norms. Some societies are liberal enough to chop the norms down, but a whole bunch of them don't. Men liking products that are supposedly feminine or geared towards female audiences (FIM, Barbie, nail polish, skirts, etc.) are considered outcasts, and it's a major feminist problem that affects you two as much as everyone else. As I said already, the gender norms that cast over people are the real problem here.

 

Your answers don't solve the problem, they perpetuate them instead.

 

Never knew there was such a negative view from some about telling others. You know why I wish others would let others know? Because you shouldn't have to hide it. Seriously, what purpose does that serve? Do you have to scream from atop a mountain to the entire world? No, but I do think that if someone notices that you like this show, you should embrace it, not try to keep it hidden away like it is some horrific thing that no one should know that you like.

 

As a fan of this show, you are never obligated to flat out tell others that you like the show, but what I don't like is when people actively try to hide that fact that they like the show. That is what I wish would end, because you don't have to hide the fact that you love a wonderful show. Do some bronies have a victim complex? Perhaps, but with how this society treats stuff like this and how much it has demonized it in the past, I can't say I blame them too much.

All of this right here. There's a reason why a lot of bronies are in the closet. You don't need to scream out loud or wave a flag to announce your bronydom, but you shouldn't have to hide what you like, either. I wear no brony clothing because that's my choice, but I display my FIM toys at home, and I'm not afraid to admit to being a brony in public. A lot of bronies are slandered online and off because they don't conform to gender stereotypes. Slandering is a classic form of oppression, so don't pout, get defensive, or retain a superiority complex when you see some bronies with a victim or inferiority complex. Rather than shun them, communicate with them so they can grow confident and not have to feel fear anymore.

 

Honestly, sometimes I feel like this fandom shuns those who may feel a bit oppressed when loving this show and I find that rather...depressing.

You're presenting a negative stereotype: No one fandom nor fans have a singular track of mind. Rather than blanket the fandom, address the problem to individuals and educate those who don't believe it's an issue. If they don't like it, that's their loss.

Edited January 17, 2016 by Dark Qiviut

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

I think it's mostly just the pride of being a part of something amusing, though I used to have that push it never really become much of a deal to me. Funnily enough more people know about me being an otaku then being a brony still I'm proud of being part of both love it.

[Gestum 2,493]

You're objectively wrong here

Perhaps you would like to explain why I'm wrong. Because I'm dying to know.

[vampireponyprince 184]

It is definitely a  thing I've noticed I assumed it was just like  a "if you have been ashamed to announce you are a brony you can do it safely now " but it just comes off as you need to announce it type thing at least its how it appears as im sure they have good intentions even though it comes off as slightly pushy

[Dark Qiviut 22,430]

Perhaps you would like to explain why I'm wrong. Because I'm dying to know.

You conveniently left out the rest of my response to you:

 

You're objectively wrong here, for you view this problem on the surface through stereotypical lenses. Look at how society as a whole treats people who don't pander to gender norms. Some societies are liberal enough to chop the norms down, but a whole bunch of them don't. Men liking products that are supposedly feminine or geared towards female audiences (FIM, Barbie, nail polish, skirts, etc.) are considered outcasts, and it's a major feminist problem that affects you two as much as everyone else. As I said already, the gender norms that cast over people are the real problem here.

 

Your answers don't solve the problem, they perpetuate them instead.

You're wrong because you don't dive into the real problem (casting of gender roles on people) and instead conform to stereotypes to explain.

Edited January 17, 2016 by Dark Qiviut

[Gestum 2,493]

You conveniently left out the rest of my response

Yes, because I didn't see how your rant about gender rolls mattered at all. Also I find it unnecessary to quote the whole post, all that does is to take up space.

 

You're wrong because you don't dive into the real problem (casting gender roles on people) and instead conform to stereotypes to explain.

Explain to me what I said that was based on stereotypes. Also I think that you don't understand what I said. What I said was that the reason for why bronies are so pushy about them being bronies is because they're trying to keep the fandom relevant. That doesn't have anything to do with whatever problem you're talking about. Edited January 17, 2016 by Gestum

[ShutterBat 134]

Being a girl, I do not really have an issue with other people finding it too weird that I call myself a Brony. Girls seem to get away with watching MLP regardless of being an adult. I can understand though that since it is not society's version of being a "man" by watching.. Most men feel shy about telling others they are a Brony. Personally, I feel that some men feel the need to tell simply because: They love it so much. When you are a fan of a certain musician, show, etc. you tend to talk about it a lot, yes? Whether you mean to or not is a different story, but regardless, we love talking about our hobbies. We as humans feel the need to talk about things we like and love. If we find someone who shares hobbies with us, then it is fantastic. A new friend is created simply by talking about a show or song. Also, the MLP Fandom is different from any other fandom. I am a fan of Walking Dead, Doctor Who, and Futurama. The communities of those fandoms are different though. Since there is this special bond connecting all MLP Fans, there is a certain pride about being a Brony. In my opinion, this is why one might feel "pressured" to tell. Simply because you want to. You love MLP and hope to share. You also know you have an amazing fandom backing you up. That is just my opinion though. 

[Dark Qiviut 22,430]

 

 

Yes, because I didn't see how your rant about gender rolls mattered at all.

It matters a ton due to the first line of the OP wondering why some feel the need to reveal being a brony and not hide it. A lot of bronies are closet bronies primarily because gender norms from society (from the country or state they live in to their very family) force them to stay in the closet. Men being bullied for liking feminine products and not conforming to gender norms has been a major feminist problem for decades. Unfortunately, it's largely ignored. Bronies' anecdotal struggles and how bronies are a common butt of online bullying highlight this social justice issue.

 

 

 

Also I find it unnecessary to quote the whole post, all that does is to take up space.

Irrelevant to the point.

 

 

 

Explain to me what I said that was based on stereotypes. Also I think that you don't understand what I said. What I said was that the reason for why bronies are so pushy about them being bronies is because they're trying to keep the fandom relevant. That doesn't have anything to do with whatever problem you're talking about.

It's based on stereotypes for two reasons:

1. It's an easy blanket answer to explain why many closet bronies feel like they have to admit being a brony when it's only a symptom of a much larger problem. There's a deeply rooted societal impact on norms, and the fears of being bullied by friends, family, and the community they live in for being a brony are very valid. What's a point of hobbying? To share it and help spread their love for something to others so you can grow it. A lot of us want to share our hobbies and educate them to the masses, but sometimes the masses can be really bigoted. Closet bronies want to share their passion for FIM, but society hammers it down.
2. FIM — and bronydom itself — is five-and-a-half years old. The entire MLP fandom is also very passionate, and there's an annual MLP fair. Bronydom has been relevant since Derpy's wall eyes first appeared intentionally in Feeling Pinkie Keen. Hasbro and DHX acknowledge their impact in Slice of Life. Without the older fandom, FIM might've been canceled after the third or even second seasons, and we wouldn't have the FIM film late next year. BronyCon brings in nine to ten thousand bronies annually. We don't know when season six will debut, but the early teaser and reveal of its central theme on its website hint that it could come sooner rather than later. Perhaps around the same time as BABSCon. Nevertheless, how long bronies will be relevant in pop culture is unknown. But it's still very relevant now and won't die down for a while.
   
   To claim they leave the stable to keep the fandom relevant doesn't analyze or criticize the social and gender norms affecting their decision to stay in or leave the closet in the first place. In short, it keeps the stereotypical norms relevant by implicating a tolerance for them.

[SteveMorison 404]

While a large majority of people I have told have been accepting, bronies are still not very well known where I live, so talking about My Little Pony to anyone still feels very awkward for me.

 

Edit: For the people I live with, the main issue is not that MLP is feminine, but rather that MLP is viewed as being for a very young demographic. As there aren't as many bronies as there are in the US, MLP's marketing largely aims at pre-school girls, the show mainly airs on a channel called Tiny Pop where every other show is only really suitable for pre-school children, and toys are normally sold in aisles along with other franchises such as Barbie.

Edited January 21, 2016 by DashBandicoot

[I've Left 6]

This user has left the fandom. They've been exposed to the horrible underbelly of it and the poisonous culture, including the racism, rampant pedophilia, and lack of care to do ANYTHING about it.

This fandom began on 4Chan. It shows.

I hope you can get out too.

Edited August 12, 2018 by OpenYourEyes
Removal of Self

[PinkieatHeart 208]

I don't think people should be ashamed to be in the fandom, but I don't think we need to shout our label at people either. Let's just... be.

[Eloquence 2,076]

The more something is stigmatized, the more people will move towards extremes of either hiding it in fear or putting it out there aggressively in an attempt to prevent bullying and other forms of disapproval. Hiding means that people won't know to insult you, while shoving it in people's faces gives others the impression that you can't be shamed for it, making them less likely to try. While I fully understand the desire not to compare it to being part of the LGBT community, as that is a much more integral part of oneself and can lead to much more negative consequences when one "comes out", the two do in fact follow a similar formula and are rooted in gender normativity (among other things for each issue). Again, that's not to equate the two by any stretch of the imagination, but in truth no social issue exists in a vacuum, and intersections can be found between things that otherwise seem highly dissimilar. 

 

In my opinion, the best thing to do with anything stigmatized is to just treat it like it's normal. Don't hide it or shove it in people's faces, just go about your life being who you are. True pride in oneself is what will really inspire people around you to slough off the veil of judgment, and as Dr. Suess said, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind

[Steel Accord 6,660]

@,

 

I think that time isn't really a thing. It's come and pass. I can remember like I think it was maybe two years ago, THAT was when it seemed like it was at an all time high and popularity to declare it to the world.

 

Not as much now. I think more the message or at least the intent, is to just be secure in the identity and your like of the show, not really the pressure to tell it to others.