Friendship doesn't exist

[MelloSkitzo 57]

You're an idiot. The jig is up.

Jk. I don't agree at all however. Your basing this off of your own experiences and, obviously, not everyones are the same. I've made a few really good friends whom I consider brothers and sisters in my short 17 years of life. 

Friendship doesn't erase character flaws in people. People who betray friends have deep seeded character issues. This fact doesn't deny the existence of friendship. What it does prove, though, is that some people use the friendship of others disingenuously; and such people aren't true friends to begin with. That's why it's important to be wise about who you call friends.

Not to sound clique or lame but it is true when people say "watch who you hang out with". Trust me. I've been there. I used to hang out with bloods. Almost got myself into DEEP trouble more times than I can count.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

I think you're kinda sounding like Starlight Glimmer...really...because she did have a friend, but because she had a so-called "bad experience" of her friend getting his cutie mark before she did, she decided to tear it apart yourself. Friendship does exist. It resides in us all, just like Twilight said right at the beginning when she discovered the magic of friendship. The only thing it takes is YOU. You decide how to carry yourself and how to open yourself up to others so that way you can be able to make friends. 

[arftbmrf 40]

Friendship doesn't erase character flaws in people. People who betray friends have deep seeded character issues. This fact doesn't deny the existence of friendship. What it does prove, though, is that some people use the friendship of others disingenuously; and such people aren't true friends to begin with. That's why it's important to be wise about who you call friends.

 

You're an idiot. The jig is up.

Jk. I don't agree at all however. Your basing this off of your own experiences and, obviously, not everyones are the same. I've made a few really good friends whom I consider brothers and sisters in my short 17 years of life. 

Not to sound clique or lame but it is true when people say "watch who you hang out with". Trust me. I've been there. I used to hang out with bloods. Almost got myself into DEEP trouble more times than I can count.

It's a fair point, about understanding who you call friends, yes. But how can you tell, if you're friends with some persons for months and even years (my experience) and there weren't anything, but love, understanding, trust and other stuff like this? How many years should you be close with another person to define them as a friend? Or is there any indicator of how to detect a 'not-friend', even if months and years of trust, sharing, understanding, etc. still lead to betrayal? (my experience, again)

[Slendy 2,918]

Like everyone else said in this thread, just because you've never had a friend doesn't mean friendship doesn't exist at all. You are not the universe. You are an individual in a herd of billions upon billions of other individuals. We all are different. You might not have had a friend because of your clear negative outlook on things. But, I'm not going to go ahead and assume things about you.

 

I'll explain a friend in a nutshell. A friend is someone you can trust, someone you can go to if you need someone to talk to or if you need help in some other way. It is also someone who listens to you and respects what you say. You can be silly around each other and have a laugh. You like each other's company.

 

That's my defintion of a friend, anyway. Don't know if anyone else will agree.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Sam Gideon

[ShadOBabe 18,997]

 

 

It's a fair point, about understanding who you call friends, yes. But how can you tell, if you're friends with some persons for months and even years (my experience) and there weren't anything, but love, understanding, trust and other stuff like this? How many years should you be close with another person to define them as a friend? Or is there any indicator of how to detect a 'not-friend', even if months and years of trust, sharing, understanding, etc. still lead to betrayal? (my experience, again)

 

Problem is that human beings change. This is inevitable.

And unfortunately, they don't always change for the better.

This person probably WAS a real friend. At least at first. But along the line, something changed and things went south.

 

It's sad, but there are more friends out there for you to make.

[Jaxsie (Inactive) 1,343]

It's a fair point, about understanding who you call friends, yes. But how can you tell, if you're friends with some persons for months and even years (my experience) and there weren't anything, but love, understanding, trust and other stuff like this? How many years should you be close with another person to define them as a friend? Or is there any indicator of how to detect a 'not-friend', even if months and years of trust, sharing, understanding, etc. still lead to betrayal? (my experience, again)

Simple, actually. Hard times tests the integrity of a friendships. It's easy to be trusting and loving when life is going well. The true test of a person's character is not in the good times, but when they come under pressure. Everything can be fine and dandy leading up to it, but when people are put in an uncomfortable situation that's when their true colors shine. If they betray on you when the going gets rough, that's who they are. If they stay by your side through thick and thin, you have a true friend.

 

Even in the good times, people tell you who they really are (good or bad) in the nuances. You have to have a keen eye to catch it. What they say and don't say. What they do and don't do. How they treat others. How they treat themselves. If you can connect the dots, you can have a pretty accurate idea of who a person is. A disingenuous person always leaves a crumb trail. We fail to recognize this because we are not sensitive to the nuances. For example, if a "friend" likes to backbite about others to you, you can connect the dots that they are not trustworthy and will likely talk about you behind your back too. People's hearts always tell.

[MelloSkitzo 57]

It's a fair point, about understanding who you call friends, yes. But how can you tell, if you're friends with some persons for months and even years (my experience) and there weren't anything, but love, understanding, trust and other stuff like this? How many years should you be close with another person to define them as a friend? Or is there any indicator of how to detect a 'not-friend', even if months and years of trust, sharing, understanding, etc. still lead to betrayal? (my experience, again)

There is no set time period. It's what YOU believe is right. It's who YOU believe deserves your trust. It's who YOU let into your life.

Simple, actually. Hard times tests the integrity of a friendships. It's easy to be trusting and loving when life is going well. The true test of a person's character is not in the good times, but when they come under pressure. Everything can be fine and dandy leading up to it, but when people are put in an uncomfortable situation that's when their true colors shine. If they betray on you when the going gets rough, that's who they are. If they stay by your side through thick and thin, you have a true friend.

 

Even in the good times, people tell you who they really are (good or bad) in the nuances. You have to have a keen eye to catch it. What they say and don't say. What they do and don't do. How they treat others. How they treat themselves. If you can connect the dots, you can have a pretty accurate idea of who a person is. A disingenuous person always leaves a crumb trail. We fail to recognize this because we are not sensitive to the nuances. For example, if a "friend" likes to backbite about others to you, you can connect the dots that they are not trustworthy and will likely talk about you behind your back too. People's hearts always tell.

Exactly. When I hanging out with the wrong crowd I managed to meat my brother Josh. The kid was always gettin into trouble but me and him had each others backs. We had gone through fights with others, ourselves, and each other but we were always there for eachother. And we still are. A lot of shit we had top go through. I remember one time he got jumped and I had to get my homies so would could save him lol. It's all about loyalty for me. 

And you cant trully know immediately that you can't trust someone. Even if they are involved in some really shady shit.

[Detritus 258]

Is it just me, or do a lot of the posts in this thread sound kind of... angry?

 

Anyway, I'll just say this: Friendship definitely does exist. It's just that it can be so elusive for some people, that it seems like nothing more than a myth (same thing with romance). Success at forging long-lasting friendships depends on your likeability, your social skills, how often you put yourself out there, and how much work you put into growing/maintaining a potential friendship.

 

If you're like me, you lack the first two and are too lazy to put forth the effort required of the last two. Therefore, no friends.

 

You can also earn fake friends if you're rich and/or famous. Fake friends can be an adequate substitute for real friends, but if you lose your money/fame, you'll lose the fake friends too.

 

As an example of this, I used to do fan art on deviantArt, and I got fairly popular. As soon as I stopped doing fan art, all of my "friends" vanished like a fart in the wind. I can't say I blame them though. Without the fan art, I had nothing going for me.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Detritus

[Jaxsie (Inactive) 1,343]

Is it just me, or do a lot of the posts in this thread sound kind of... angry?

 

No, it's not just you. I noticed the same thing. Arftbmrf hasn't been rude at all and I respect his candor and willingness to listen to others, even if I wholeheartedly disagree with his stance. I think some could stand to show a little more grace.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Jaxsie

[Throwaway19573639385 764]

In the end every relationship is established through having benefits for both sides but that doesn't mean that friendships aren't enjoyable and just purely beneficial, and it doesn't mean that a friendship ends immediatly once the benefits stop.

 

Friendship does exist. I've met enough people to know it does. I don't call anyone I just randomly met a friend after five seconds though, so my friendships don't tend to be shallow and quickly forgotten or replaced.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Winterbass

[Carl Poppa 464]

Unfortunately, people can and do lie to peple for years, they do grow bored, they can be fickle, etc. It is entirely possible for a good friend to betray you after years, and it's very possible for jealousy over numerous things to kill a friendship as well. I have lost quite a few friends myself, and tend to be betrayed by those I get close to, but I still don't stop believing in friendship or shut people out. Humans are social animals. Without friendship and bonds with others, we suffer. I prefer to give people a chance than to rule out the possibility of finding true friendship.

 

I think the friends I have now will stick around, but that's not a guarantee. I choose to trust them. That's what it comes down to. Knowing someone has the power to really hurt you, but trusting them not to... anyone who cares about you at all won't betray you, or, if they do in a moment of weakness, they will try to make up for it, because they value you and the time you spend together.

 

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but dwelling in such thoughts will just become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I personally see no reason to deprive myself of friendship, or others of my friendship, just because some people are asses. Whether you choose to have friends or not is up to you, though.

[Trinitron Keys 89]

I'd say it exists, but the catch is, no one can be trusted completely. I actually had to create a list of rules that all my realspace friends follow. Fellow ponies of the fandom, I present to you:

 

THE FOUR LAWS OF FRIENDSHIP (for realspace friends, at least with me)

 

1. You Cannot Change History!

 

I'm fairly certain none of you own working 2-way time machines, so if something happened in the past, it happened that way and it's over and done with. I have the power of rewindable memory, so you can't say, "No, it was this way! It was ALWAYS like that, don't know where you got that from!" This is the one out of the four I come down hardest on if violated. No one lies to me about what has been and gone.

 

2. We Don't Bring Money Into It!

 

I'm fine with occasionally buying someone a sandwich or a drink just to be nice, and maybe get a karma bonus, but I'm not emptying my bank account because you're about to get your car repoed or about to lose your apartment. I prefer to help out friends in non-monetary ways, like I help you move your stuff or help build something for a project. Charities and organizations I support are an exception here.

 

3. If I Do It An Odd Way, There's A Reason For It.

 

In certain situations, I've had to find unorthodox ways to get things done, because it's the only way I could find that works. Like, I don't keep my stuff in a wallet. They get lost, everything's in it, I lose all my stuff. They don't stay on me. So, I keep things loose in my pockets. Just don't be an orthodox-tard and go, "Uhbuhh, get a wallet!" and you'll do just fine on this rule.

 

4. We don't talk about my mane.

 

If I get a new hairstyle (NOT haircut, hairSTYLE), I'm not clamoring for attention, I just wanted a change of pace. I'm not a typical male, I'm not 5 years old, and I work in places that aren't fashion-restrictive, so there's no need to "tell me how it is" here. It's a decoration, focus on the person under it.

 

It makes me sad sometimes that I had to do this, but it was a certain small percent that ruined the fun for everybody in realspace. So, everybody gets trusted to varying extents, but never completely. It has become what it is.

 

 

 

 

[Invincible 2,091]

It's a matter of perspective. What exactly do you look for, in a friend? What would friendship mean to you? If your needs aren't met then I guess to you, friendship isn't something that exists, or rather, you don't (yet) have friends, the kind you'd wish to have anyway.

 

Friendship is, by one definition, a state of mutual affection between a group of two or more people who share a common denominator and some have relative proximity. I can safely say I have this sort of bond with several people falling under this category. 

[arftbmrf 40]

Problem is that human beings change. This is inevitable.

And unfortunately, they don't always change for the better.

This person probably WAS a real friend. At least at first. But along the line, something changed and things went south.

 

It's sad, but there are more friends out there for you to make.

But what about that song, from EG shorts? That friendship carries through the ages and remains the same? Was it all a lie, then? Or what about mane 6's friendship that never ends no moteer what challenges they face? This is a lie, too, then?

 

 

Simple, actually. Hard times tests the integrity of a friendships. It's easy to be trusting and loving when life is going well. The true test of a person's character is not in the good times, but when they come under pressure. Everything can be fine and dandy leading up to it, but when people are put in an uncomfortable situation that's when their true colors shine. If they betray on you when the going gets rough, that's who they are. If they stay by your side through thick and thin, you have a true friend.

 

Even in the good times, people tell you who they really are (good or bad) in the nuances. You have to have a keen eye to catch it. What they say and don't say. What they do and don't do. How they treat others. How they treat themselves. If you can connect the dots, you can have a pretty accurate idea of who a person is. A disingenuous person always leaves a crumb trail. We fail to recognize this because we are not sensitive to the nuances. For example, if a "friend" likes to backbite about others to you, you can connect the dots that they are not trustworthy and will likely talk about you behind your back too. People's hearts always tell.

Actually, there were both good and bad times, and everything was great, so this test you're talking about was passed.

 

 

Unfortunately, people can and do lie to peple for years, they do grow bored, they can be fickle, etc. It is entirely possible for a good friend to betray you after years, and it's very possible for jealousy over numerous things to kill a friendship as well. I have lost quite a few friends myself, and tend to be betrayed by those I get close to, but I still don't stop believing in friendship or shut people out. Humans are social animals. Without friendship and bonds with others, we suffer. I prefer to give people a chance than to rule out the possibility of finding true friendship.

 

I think the friends I have now will stick around, but that's not a guarantee. I choose to trust them. That's what it comes down to. Knowing someone has the power to really hurt you, but trusting them not to... anyone who cares about you at all won't betray you, or, if they do in a moment of weakness, they will try to make up for it, because they value you and the time you spend together.

 

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but dwelling in such thoughts will just become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I personally see no reason to deprive myself of friendship, or others of my friendship, just because some people are asses. Whether you choose to have friends or not is up to you, though.

Then what's the point, anyway? If a friend will betray you after years of friendship and hurt you that way, what's the point of making friends in the first way? If you're not a masochist, you wouldn't enjoy pain from every time when friendship ends, or every betrayal. Why even make friends, if they will inevitable betray you? I don't understand.

 

To all: if such things happen, then maybe there's a better option, than walking around the minefield? (as in, making friends) Maybe it's better to create your own world, with friendship that lasts forever, nobody betrays anyone and everything is great?

Yes, it'll be illusion, but if the world is such a cruel place, what's so wrong with that?

Edited January 23, 2016 by arftbmrf

[Kapitan zur See Hans (Daz) 883]

But what about that song, from EG shorts? That friendship carries through the ages and remains the same? Was it all a lie, then? Or what about mane 6's friendship that never ends no moteer what challenges they face? This is a lie, too, then?

 

 

Actually, there were both good and bad times, and everything was great, so this test you're talking about was passed.

 

 

Then what's the point, anyway? If a friend will betray you after years of friendship and hurt you that way, what's the point of making friends in the first way? If you're not a masochist, you wouldn't enjoy pain from every time when friendship ends, or every betrayal. Why even make friends, if they will inevitable betray you? I don't understand.

 

To all: if such things happen, then maybe there's a better option, than walking around the minefield? (as in, making friends) Maybe it's better to create your own world, with friendship that lasts forever, nobody betrays anyone and everything is great?

Yes, it'll be illusion, but if the world is such a cruel place, what's so wrong with that?

You act as if a single act of betrayal negates all the positive experiences you have gained, all the pleasant memories, and else you may have gained throughout your friendship. I have dropped out of contact with friends, have not talked to them, and have felt them to be poor friends near the end. Do I regret that friendship, hell no. I gained more from having that friendship than going without. It is only a negative if you hold on to it that way or if they truly do something to hurt you in the long run(Rarely see that, usually if there is a problem it is from both parties). This is not meant for this, but a saying that I think can fit is risk nothing, gain nothing. You will not lose anything either, but you would never gain anything from avoiding friendship. 

 

Don't get me wrong, live your life the way that makes you happy as there is nothing wrong with it. 

[Guest]

Lol you all are wrong. friendship doesn't exist

 

Friendship is magic.

 

Magic doesn't exist.

 

Hence, friendship doesn't exist.

 

Check fucking mate.

Edited January 23, 2016 by Guest

[Kapitan zur See Hans (Daz) 883]

Lol you all are wrong. friendship doesn't exist

 

Friendship is magic.

 

Magic doesn't exist.

 

Hence, friendship doesn't exist.

 

Check fucking mate.

But magic is just unexplained science.

 

Joking btw

[Jokuc 8,174]

Lol you all are wrong. friendship doesn't exist

 

Friendship is magic.

 

Magic doesn't exist.

 

Hence, friendship doesn't exist.

 

Check fucking mate.

 

False.

 

Magic is the art or practice of using charms, spells, or rituals to attempt to produce supernatural effects or control events in nature.

Even if the procedure doesn't have scientifically proven effects, it's technically still "magic".

 

Also, in FiM, magic exists and Magic = Friendship... fim is 3 letters, Illuminati confirmed.

 

Seriously though, as I said in my previous post, friendship is something you decide whether it exists or not.

[ShadOBabe 18,997]

No, it's not just you. I noticed the same thing. Arftbmrf hasn't been rude at all and I respect his candor and willingness to listen to others, even if I wholeheartedly disagree with his stance. I think some could stand to show a little more grace.

 

You might be a little unfamiliar with their track record on the forums. It's built up some animosity. Also people don't appreciate others saying things as important as their interpersonal relationships are non-existent, especially when they OBVIOUSLY are. It's like if some random fool came up to me on the street and told me my mom didn't really love me... right after I'd been given the MLP quilt she'd made just for me.

[Comic Sans 401]

I think friendship does exist, you just have to find the right people. The people I grew up with and hung around with during school all the time were never true friends. It's only now, 10 years after leaving school that the people I see now, I realise are my real true friends.

[Catpone Cerberus 23,604]

Well it is tricky thing, it depends from perspective. It doesn't exist as a thing, because it isn't thing, it's kinda emotion, bound between people, like love, it exist between people who are bounded with it, but for people outside that bound, it doesn't exist.

 

So, my opinion?

Friendship exists, but it isn't a thing you can look at or show that "This is friendship, and this not".

[Veil 260]

I still ask myself everyday why I'm a fan of a show about friendship. I've already made posts about my "those people I used to talk to and go out in public with" so I don't really want to repeat all that stuff cause its kinda long.

[Carl Poppa 464]

But what about that song, from EG shorts? That friendship carries through the ages and remains the same? Was it all a lie, then? Or what about mane 6's friendship that never ends no moteer what challenges they face? This is a lie, too, then?

 

 

 

Actually, there were both good and bad times, and everything was great, so this test you're talking about was passed.

 

 

 

Then what's the point, anyway? If a friend will betray you after years of friendship and hurt you that way, what's the point of making friends in the first way? If you're not a masochist, you wouldn't enjoy pain from every time when friendship ends, or every betrayal. Why even make friends, if they will inevitable betray you? I don't understand.

 

To all: if such things happen, then maybe there's a better option, than walking around the minefield? (as in, making friends) Maybe it's better to create your own world, with friendship that lasts forever, nobody betrays anyone and everything is great?

Yes, it'll be illusion, but if the world is such a cruel place, what's so wrong with that?

I never said they'll inevitably betray you. I said they might. Whether or not you take the risk is up to you, but if they don't betray you, the reward is well worth it.

[Justin_Case001 4,896]

I think it's pretty obvious that friendship does in fact exist, but rather than just reiterate every post in this thread, I'm going to take an interesting standpoint and argue something that a good friend of mine and I have talked about.  From a certain point of view, it is arguable that every living thing is governed by selfishness, and that every act we take is a selfish one.  Now, don't misunderstand--this isn't suppose to be some gloom and doom, misanthropic thing.  It's just a different way of looking at things.  If you think about it, the only reason that we do anything is that it feels good in some way.  I'm not suggesting that everyone is hedonistic, either.  Every single thing we do, even things that are not fun, like work, are done to benefit us in some way, obviously.  But take a supposedly completely selfless act for example: giving to charity or doing something nice for someone else.  When a normal, non-sociopath does these things, they tend to feel good.  If doing these things made one feel bad, then no one would do them.  When one gives another companionship in the form of friendship, it makes one feel good.  If it did not, then no one would do it.  You might say, "But I truly don't care about myself, I just want to give this other person happiness."  But eventually, it seems that there must be a sort of feedback loop ending in a selfish motivation.  Why do you want to make this person happy?  Because it makes you feel good to see them happy.  If it made you feel bad to see them happy, then you probably wouldn't do it.  And let's not forget an obvious fact: if you want to make someone else happy, then you must acknowledge that their happiness is a desire of yours, and desire is inherently selfish, right?  Perhaps this paradigm might help to explain how the mind of an evil person works, as well.

 

From this rather strange and depressing point of view, perhaps friendship as we know it doesn't exist.  And yet, many of us have friends we care about.  This viewpoint doesn't diminish that.  It all depends on how you look at things.  This is just picking things apart and splitting hairs and looking at things from a different, more technical angle.  I'm not saying I really feel this way, but it's just fun to think about.  It was actually my friend who suggested this theory.  I just thought it would be fun to argue an interesting angle, rather than state the obvious again.

[pyroshark 19]

so your "friends" and my "friends" are just in fact, primal instincts. Friends are just allies. like nerd groups? group together to gain things like a sense of security and increasing your power through many. same with bronys. (note: not saying nerds or bronys are weak.)