So... do the Royal Guards just suck?

[SilverStarApple 849]

The royal guards suck, and lose every battle they're in in canon. They canonically lost the capital of the country WHILE ON HIGH ALERT in under an hour, and only won thanks to a Deus Ex Machina boom from Shining Armour and Cadence. 

 

And in the War Equestrias, we don't see any canonical royal guards from this world. Ever. Except in the sombra war world, where they're in non-combat military police roles and the real fighters are the protagonists.

 

So... why do the royal guard suck major eggs? 

[Unlikeable Pony 2,698]

Because they're red-shirts, and the rank and file are ALWAYS useless so that the Heroes look better by comparison.

 

 

Like how in Gundam wing the mane characters can destroy the enemies by the hundreds but good guy mooks struggle to even 1v1 or even 2v1 them.

[Scootalove 10,689]

I really have no idea, must be how they are written I guess. If the writers were to implement some sort of protection outside of just guards protecting royalty, then they wouldn't be so useless or easily defeated. Add a military force for the parts of Equestria that need protection and done.

[Malinter 3,064]

The royal guards suck, and lose every battle they're in in canon. They canonically lost the capital of the country WHILE ON HIGH ALERT in under an hour, and only won thanks to a Deus Ex Machina boom from Shining Armour and Cadence. 

 

And in the War Equestrias, we don't see any canonical royal guards from this world. Ever. Except in the sombra war world, where they're in non-combat military police roles and the real fighters are the protagonists.

 

So... why do the royal guard suck major eggs? 

 

Because how short would MLP:FIM be if the Royal Guard could actually do their job? XD

[Denim&Venöm 19,388]

Because they're a ceremonial secret service force. They protect the princesses & nobles. Nothing more. And if anything could hurt the movers of the sun and moon, they'd be pretty useless anyways. 

 

Equestria is an anarchy, where each city and village looks after itself. That includes protection. Most wars & battles have been fought and most disasters handled by civilian volunteers, militias & vigilantes. 

 

And when you have deus ex machina's like the elements/keys of harmony & godly princesses, fighting foes that can alter realty, drain magic & cast curses, what good are the guard anyways outside of a ceremonial peace keeping force? 

[snowflame 189]

 

Equestria is an anarchy, where each city and village looks after itself. That includes protection. Most wars & battles have been fought and most disasters handled by civilian volunteers, militias & vigilantes. 

 

 

 

 

The cities having autonomy is not anarchy. 

[cider float 2,538]

Even though this is constantly done to all large scale authority groups in fiction the truth of the matter is that in real life people do all scale down to meet a certain standard in their corporation and never improve anyone more incompetent than others are fired those more competent is subjected towards isolation or competition by the top echelon of the corporation and in many ways also removed from the system after their purpose is fulfilled or they make their superiors look bad.

 

Did you know candidates in police academy are chosen for being stupid because it shows they would not disobey or rebel against their superiors? The police as a whole only cares about maintaining order even if it means the order is unfair for others.

Edited April 7, 2016 by cider float

[Phanact 333]

The royal guards suck, and lose every battle they're in in canon. They canonically lost the capital of the country WHILE ON HIGH ALERT in under an hour, and only won thanks to a Deus Ex Machina boom from Shining Armour and Cadence. 

 

And in the War Equestrias, we don't see any canonical royal guards from this world. Ever. Except in the sombra war world, where they're in non-combat military police roles and the real fighters are the protagonists.

 

So... why do the royal guard suck major eggs? 

 

I think they're designed to suck by the creators

[Unlikeable Pony 2,698]

The royal guards suck, and lose every battle they're in in canon. They canonically lost the capital of the country WHILE ON HIGH ALERT in under an hour, and only won thanks to a Deus Ex Machina boom from Shining Armour and Cadence. 

 

And in the War Equestrias, we don't see any canonical royal guards from this world. Ever. Except in the sombra war world, where they're in non-combat military police roles and the real fighters are the protagonists.

 

So... why do the royal guard suck major eggs? 

 

 

No, you see them in the battle.

[Buck Testa 5,505]

1000 years of peace time can do that to a military. When nothing has necessitated the need for war and you have this aura of power and authority in the world its pretty damn easy to become complacent. Even their air force is basically just for show and have no real combat experience.

 

Get those wimps to do some rock farming, they'll be REAL effective in battle after that

Edited April 7, 2016 by Buck Testa

[Gestum 2,493]

They're guards and not soldiers. Also they're guards in a country wich was peaceful for 1000 years.

[Mesme Rize 15,687]

Just like my other 2 commenters above me said. If you have nothing major to do for almost 1000 years, they are unprepared to do their duties.

[CastletonSnob 3,079]

Because they're males. It's a way to make the female characters look stronger.

[cider float 2,538]

1000 years of peace time can do that to a military. When nothing has necessitated the need for war and you have this aura of power and authority in the world its pretty damn easy to become complacent. Even their air force is basically just for show and have no real combat experience.

 

Get those wimps to do some rock farming, they'll be REAL effective in battle after that

They don't have the ambition, the don't care if I die daredevil spirit. Heroes are those that go in like every moment is their last. Yet people shun them or find anyway to remove them because they make everyone else feel bad. 

[SilverStarApple 849]

 

Because how short would MLP:FIM be if the Royal Guard could actually do their job? XD

Obviously. I was asking for in-universe explanations, a simple "It needs to be that way because of the writing" is boring.

 

Even though this is constantly done to all large scale authority groups in fiction the truth of the matter is that in real life people do all scale down to meet a certain standard in their corporation and never improve anyone more incompetent than others are fired those more competent is subjected towards isolation or competition by the top echelon of the corporation and in many ways also removed from the system after their purpose is fulfilled or they make their superiors look bad.

 

Did you know candidates in police academy are chosen for being stupid because it shows they would not disobey or rebel against their superiors? The police as a whole only cares about maintaining order even if it means the order is unfair for others.

Eeyup.

 

Because they're a ceremonial secret service force. They protect the princesses & nobles. Nothing more. And if anything could hurt the movers of the sun and moon, they'd be pretty useless anyways. 

 

Equestria is an anarchy, where each city and village looks after itself. That includes protection. Most wars & battles have been fought and most disasters handled by civilian volunteers, militias & vigilantes. 

 

And when you have deus ex machina's like the elements/keys of harmony & godly princesses, fighting foes that can alter realty, drain magic & cast curses, what good are the guard anyways outside of a ceremonial peace keeping force?

It's not really an anarchy, more of a-

 

The cities having autonomy is not anarchy.

Oh. You said it first. Yes, the cities having autonomy isn't anarchy. Celestia and the others rule over Canterlot and the country as a whole, but each town has its own people who rule the place and take responsibility for its day to day decisions. If there's a drought in city Z, that place's ruler gets yelled at, or has a duty to yell at whoever's fault it is, not Celestia. As for militias, seraphs (My browser refuses to accept Cowboy Town Boss as a real word), and other heroes, that's due to Equestria lacking the unnecessary laws forbidding heroism that only exist to make the police the final judge and only controllers of justice, and make them look good because there's nothing to compare them to.

 

No, you see them in the battle.

We see them getting rekt in the battle. The actual effective fighters are all protagonists and minor characters.

 

1000 years of peace time can do that to a military. When nothing has necessitated the need for war and you have this aura of power and authority in the world its pretty damn easy to become complacent. Even their air force is basically just for show and have no real combat experience.

 

Get those wimps to do some rock farming, they'll be REAL effective in battle after that

Because they're males. It's a way to make the female characters look stronger.

I want to say no to this, because this show isn't usually the type to stick a weak male sidekick on a cool female character to make her seem cooler in comparison or whatever. Then again, remember Brotherhooves Social, when Rainbow Dash said to Big Mac "I won't take it easy on you just because you're a stallion"... are males discriminated against in Equestria even more than they are in this world? Are female horses better/faster than males? Is it because herds IRL are often ruled by mares and the matriarchy is strong there? Or does Rainbow Dash just have a subtle female>male prejudice when it comes to physical stuff, due to being a Pegasus and how often the stupid "Females are faster, lighter, and more agile in the air, while males are stronger, have bigger wings, and can fly longer and break through stuff in the air without needing to be zipping around at top speed to do so" thing that keeps showing up in fanfics?

 

They don't have the ambition, the don't care if I die daredevil spirit. Heroes are those that go in like every moment is their last. Yet people shun them or find anyway to remove them because they make everyone else feel bad.

Yeah, that makes sense. I know a few people online in the military, and it's more "Do what your boss says and nothing more. Yes, even if you think you can secure the objective better than what your glory-hound idiot boss tells you to do. This is Advance Wars and you are his Infantry, if you move without him telling you to move you will be deleted and replaced with another one".

[BrawnyCharger 513]

Maybe the whole Red Shirt Army trope in this series can be thwarted if they have a storyline in which Shining Armor has to step in to save the day in place of an Incapacitated Twilight (be it injured, kidnapped, brainwashed, etc) thus giving SOME credibility to the Royal Guard.

[ManaMinori 4,145]

Just like my other 2 commenters above me said. If you have nothing major to do for almost 1000 years, they are unprepared to do their duties.

who's fault is it that their regimin for training isn't upkept?

 

The princesses, themselves, since the captain of the guard gets their orders from the royals

[Vixor 80]

Because they're males. It's a way to make the female characters look stronger.

 

How about no? The show is focused on it's main characters and what they do, and without more screentime to flesh things out, the writers simply don't bother to show random guards and such saving the day. Also, I'm quite sure there would be female royal guards too, but we don't see them because DHX simply doesn't have the animation resources prepared. There's certainly no reason for there not to be, as I'd say both mares and stallions in MLP are relatively close in physical strength compared to humans, given what we've seen. Anyway, theoretically, DHX could have the royal guards do more, but as I was saying, that would take a considerable amount of extra screentime, which would be difficult, considering how hard it is already to cram the two-parters into only 40~ minutes.

 

a simple "It needs to be that way because of the writing" is boring.

 

Well, I mean, it certainly seems like the most logical conclusion. You can definitely speculate on various things or try to come up with an in-universe explanation of your own, perhaps the royal guard isn't the actual military or is ceremonial or something of that nature, but the bottom line is that the writers don't use them to their full potential because it would steal the spotlight, so to speak. Stormtroopers in Star Wars are an excellent example of that. And I don't think it's necessarily that they are made to look 'bad', just that the writers prevent them from immediately accomplishing their goals because it's the heroes that need to swoop in and do that.

 

On Brotherhooves Social, I think that's complete nonsense, there's simply no way that Dash of all ponies would be sexist. Her comment during Brotherhooves Social had nothing whatsoever to do with sexism or anything like that. The real reason for her saying it isn't because of his gender, it was because Big Mac was in a competition where he had to wear a movement-restricting dress for a disguise, and it's pretty clear that a dress and high-heels is a significant disadvantage, and THAT'S what she was referring to. It seems she did overestimate the restrictiveness of said disadvantage though, as he still won. Either way, I very strongly disagree with the ridiculous idea that Dash is sexist, it doesn't even fit her character at all, among other reasons, it's just not a possibility really. Also, another thing I suppose I could mention is that many of the Wonderbolts are male and she admires them just as much, mind you.

 

And the suggestion that males are discriminated against or anything of that nature is just downright false, not to mention a ridiculous topic to even try to drag into this conversation. Everything in the show points towards Equestria being gender-egalitarian, and neither gender has been portrayed as dominant or advantaged. Equestria is most definitely not a matriarchy, nor is it a patriarchy. We've seen ponies of both genders in all sorts of positions and careers, there's no real enforced gender-roles to speak of, and both genders have been portrayed as equally capable. Mind you, the show focuses more on female characters screentime-wise because the small cast of main characters are mostly female, but it's never, ever portrayed either gender as superior or dominant in their society, and when it comes to side characters, screentime is actually fairly equal, especially in more recent seasons.

 

I just don't know where people get the ridiculous idea that male characters are mistreated or poorly portrayed in the show, but it's simply untrue. The show is very focused on the Mane 7 and CMC, who are mostly female characters, and thus you end up with female characters getting more screentime, and we see more into their lives as a result, but they certainly aren't portrayed as superior or any of that nonsense that people try to claim. Side/minor characters though, there's actually a pretty even amount of screentime between male and female characters, as I mentioned. Ultimately, it would be most accurate to say that the main characters get an overwhelming majority of screentime, and all other characters, male or female, get much less. Even Celestia doesn't even have an episode focused on her yet.

Edited April 9, 2016 by Vixor

[Concerned Bystander 2,903]

who's fault is it that their regimin for training isn't upkept?

 

The princesses, themselves, since the captain of the guard gets their orders from the royals

 

Nope, Shining Armour's.  The captain of the guard shouldn't have to be told to keep his troops well drilled and in good order.  If the Princesses were responsible for micro-managing every aspect of the guard then they wouldn't need a captain.

 

But to answer the question, the Guard pretty much do suck, but only because the narrative demands it, we can't have anyone outshining the mane six after all.

[Xeltor23 704]

Hmmm yeah, The Royal Guards just totally suck, I mean, I do remember when they got distracted in that episode where Rainbow was suspected of something, only THAT exemple show how incompetent they are

[Mesme Rize 15,687]

who's fault is it that their regimin for training isn't upkept?

 

The princesses, themselves, since the captain of the guard gets their orders from the royals

 

Sorry, that propaganda of yours dosen't work here.

 

You should give the fault to the captain, for not training them for serious situations and not just for looking good. But i guess not doing anything for 1000 years, kinda makes you fall into a false sense of security.

[That Guy with the CMB 5,873]

To be fair, I'm pretty sure they're only meant to handle out-of-control ponies and not magical supervillains. Not sure though.

[cmarston1 5,959]

Kinda, but seeing as how they aren't main characters or allowed to do anything in the narrative, it's not like they were going to be anything else.

[Once In A Blue Moon 895]

In the war with the Crystal Empire, they do say that the enemy are being held back, but only by committing Equestria to total war. So it may be that a properly supplied Royal Guard (or some larger replacement organisation) that is on war footing (or hoofing) is an effective fighting force (or at least a match for their opponents, either through numbers or through training / equipment.)

[ManaMinori 4,145]

Nope, Shining Armour's.  The captain of the guard shouldn't have to be told to keep his troops well drilled and in good order.  If the Princesses were responsible for micro-managing every aspect of the guard then they wouldn't need a captain.

 

But to answer the question, the Guard pretty much do suck, but only because the narrative demands it, we can't have anyone outshining the mane six after all.

Shining is only captain of the CE's guard. And still, captains could have superiors, in Equestria. I.E., the royal sisters or Cadance