site event Rainbow Pride

[Rainbow Dash 332]

Heya, everypony! 

It's your awesome Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash here! Wishing you all an awesome Pride Month! 

When I think about Pride Month for everypony, it reminds me that we all have a story to tell.

Sort of when I wasn't the best at everything, but I still dreamed of becoming the best flyer and eventually, to join the Wonderbolts! 

It wasn't the easiest of journeys, but nothing is ever too easy or simple.

There were times that I faced my own fair share of hardships. 

Whether it was feeling unsure of myself in the Youngest Flyer's Competition, standing up to Spitfire during my days at Wonderbolt Academy, or even when I officially joined.

During the times I was tested, I always stayed true to myself because of the support of my friends! 

Even in the Wonderbolts when I felt that I wasn't Wonderbolt material, I had the support of Spitfire, Soarin and all of my other teammates and allies!

I think the same can be said for everypony else! 

Everyone was able to find out who they truly were inside!

Even if it had taken a long period of time and maybe everyone was afraid to let others know. 

When they found the courage to let those they trust know, they found love and support would always be with them!

This reminds me of when I told Scootaloo that even I was afraid of the stories I told everypony when we went camping. 

It's okay to feel afraid, but I learned to get over that fear because if there were such a thing as a headless horse, then I'd totally take it on.

That's why I want to issue this challenge to everypony here reading this! 

Whether you are a part of the Pride Community, or if you are an ally to the community, I want you to tell me your story!

Those that post their journey and their time in this thread will receive a badge! 

I look forward to reading your journey's everyone!

Here's to an awesome Pride Month! 

[Shiny Silvermoon 4,470]

I proudly support the variety in sexuality and genders! I'm eager to be the friend of any lesbian, transgender (again) or anypony else who wants to be my friend! 

When I was at high school, we were having circus classes! Yes, you heard me! Circus classes! We were learning how to do circus stuffs! Why? NO IDEA!!! I remember that we once had a project to do about a type of dance of our choice! Since neither I or my partner knew anything about dance, we somehow ended up choosing ballet! We had to write a text about ballet but also dance in front of the entire class. We realized during the process that it wasn't going to be possible for us to learn ballet, since it's an extremely complexe dance! Fortunately, the teacher told us that we wouldn't have to dance ballet in front of the class like others! We were very happy! 

Then, our teacher retired and was replaced by another one that wasn't as nice and comprehensive as him! It was the day where all the teams were supposed to dance in front of the class, except for us! And it's at this moment that things went VERY WRONG!!! The teacher wasn't believing us when we told him that the previous teacher allowed us to not dance! So, in order to avoid a bad grade, my friend and I had to learn a ballet piece in 30 minutes and then perform on a stage, in front of all the class! Did I mention that ballet was an extremely difficult dance that require countless hours of practice to learn the basics? 

We picked up a random ballet video on youtube and began to practice like we never practiced in our lives before! When the time arrived to get on the stage and dance in front of the class... We pathetically failed and everyone laughed at us! The one who was laughing the most was the teacher! Then, a few days later, my report card arrived and I realized that I was failing circus because I wasn't good at ballet, after 30 minutes of intense practice! However, my mother didn't laugh like the others! I'll never forget how she punished me that day... 

But at least, my partner was not failing circus like me! I was a bit jealous of him to be honest but I guess he was just better than me! 

Anyway, even if I was a failure, I was still proud of what I accomplished that day because, regardless of how awkward and embarrassing it was, I still got onto the stage and performed what could have been descrived as a mix between ballet and being drunk! 

Plus, I have a plan to get ballet banished from my country! 

[Gaines 1,228]

I don't have much of an interesting story, to be honest 
I remember that I realized my sexuality in middle school, or rather I've come to terms with it at that time 
I believe I've been interested in both girls and boys when I was young, but I've become more interested in boys while in middle school.
When I came out to my friends about it at the time, they didn't seem to care and even pulled the "we knew"  So I guess you could say they were supportive of it. I'm really glad to have such cool friends!
As for my family, no one knows that I like guys. I haven't told them yet, but frankly I don't plan to. My sexuality will be something that they'll have to figure out by themselves.  Not like they should care 
Nowadays, I'm quite content  My sexuality isn't my whole personality, but I would say that it made me who I am today, and I wouldn't change that.
If I were to give anyone advice, don't sweat it! If you're unsure where you fall, go ahead and continue to explore, do research, or speak with others. No matter where you may land, there will always be support behind you, even if you believe you don't see anything there 
 

[StarHeart333 1,775]

Would love to discuss the journey of myself though I myself see the experience more as seeing a piece of life, of spirit as opposed to a gender identity though I believe it technically does fall under the LGBT+ banner not 100% sure yet. Does "otherkin" count or is that not considered a "gender identity" these days?

 

 

[Gaines 1,228]

27 minutes ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

Would love to discuss the journey of myself though I myself see the experience more as seeing a piece of life, of spirit as opposed to a gender identity though I believe it technically does fall under the LGBT+ banner not 100% sure yet. Does "otherkin" count or is that not considered a "gender identity" these days?

Personally, I feel not identifying as a human isn't "gender," but is part of your identity. 
I believe the LGBTQ+ community is about supporting what you identify with or as, and there is definitely a place in here for non-human folks.
Not sure what others define the community, or how otherkin define themselves, but know that if I welcome you with open hooves, then others certainly do as well! 

Edited June 18, 2024 by Gaines

[Iforgotmybrain 7,674]

I had a weird relationship with my sexuality when growing up. The first time I can remember questioning my sexuality and feeling attraction towards the same sex was in middle school. Where I remember having crushes on both boys and girls. Part of me kinda assumed that was just normal, something everyone went through and felt. I’d realize my junior year of high school that wasn’t really the case. I think part of me was also in denial, it was easier to ignore those feelings and just focus on girls instead. So… I never really acted on any of the many male crushes I had through middle school and high school.

In college though things really changed. My 2nd year especially since that was my first year living on my own with roommates. In Fall 2019 I’d end up going on my first date with a guy, who I’d met on a dating app that semester. It… went really well, honestly. I fully considered myself bisexual that point, since my first year of college in 2018. But this date was just sort of a confirmation of my own feelings, I guess. I was also openly bisexual on campus and around friends by this point. And I’d end up dating that guy until the pandemic started in early 2020.

Anyway, I kinda made up for lost time in high school because I ended up dating almost exclusively men during my time in college lol. It got to the point where I was like “okay I can’t keep lying about who these people are to my family”, so I came out to them in 2022. Told them I was bisexual. Told them about my then boyfriend Anthony, and my bisexual friend Colton who I’d been kind of in love with since 2021 but things were complicated and he lived in Iowa and yeah. The whole thing went…. Okay. Just okay.

And now today I’m pretty much openly bisexual to everyone. I’ve dated men, I’ve dated women, I really don’t lean one way or the other when it comes to who I’m attracted to in that regard. I feel as comfortable with my sexuality as I can be I guess.

1 hour ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

Would love to discuss the journey of myself though I myself see the experience more as seeing a piece of life, of spirit as opposed to a gender identity though I believe it technically does fall under the LGBT+ banner not 100% sure yet. Does "otherkin" count or is that not considered a "gender identity" these days?

 

 

I personally feel it falls under the banner

[StarHeart333 1,775]

The awkward thing for me I have no ill towards any LGBT+ people the notion of pride as a concept only as a negative: the "fall" of the angels from heaven, the desire to enslave and conquer others because "your" nation/race/etc is the best and more.

Even in MLP itself there are several examples of pride causing serious harm.

Luna's pride caused the development of nightmare moon.

Twilight's pride caused her to be arrogant and not want to be friends with any other pony in ponyvile. She also lost Queen Nova as ally when her pride made her into a thief.

Sunset Shimmers pride caused her to enslave Canterlot high and turned them into mindless zombies.

Starlight glimmer's pride almost erased all of existence by meddling with space and time.

Spike's pride caused him to end up lost and nearly killed.

Lightening Dust's pride caused several wonderbolt.cadets to become seriously injured and she almost killed the mane 5.

Wind Rider's pride caused him to frame Rainbow Dash and nearly get her kicked out of the bolts because she beat his record.

Applejack's pride caused her to nearly work herself to death when she was too proud to accept help. Oh and she got all of ponyvile sick.as well as injured Dash.

On a final personal note I couldn't accept myself for my true nature with my own pride in my way.  .

 

 So as I said this puts me in an awkward spot because I get what is meant by an attempt for pride in sense of raising spirits but my own experience has pride as nothing but trouble...

 

 

Edited June 18, 2024 by Reiki Knight 13
Adding in a personal note...

[StaryStory 4,432]

My journey huh? Well Dashie, it's very, very long to be honest, I honestly thought if I really should make this post, but I reunited my courage to try, so I'll tell the whole story, with timeline and everything, of course, there's a lot of stuff, so I'm going to tell all of it more focused on the artistic and MLP parts, almost sure I haven't forgotten anything, so I hope you have a good read Cool Rainbow Pone!  Enjoy…

1- Cartoons & MLP (2012-2014)

I used to watch all kinds of cartoons, at the time, there was the boom of Pones, and i just couldn't avoid not looking at them, they were the very first 2D characters that I thought that looked cute and beautiful, the art style just caught my attention, then I started watching videos about it on Youtube and I got, well, obsessed with Pones, but I never watched the show for some reason, I just can't explain why, I don't think it was because it was made for girls and I didn't wanted my parents to discover it, my parents were already aware of it and they had no problems with it, so it's weird, I'll never remember why I avoided watching it, but I loved the characters and watching clips and crazy edits about them on Youtube. But then after 2014, I just moved on from MLP, not exactly because I stopped liking the pones or anything, but simply because a lot of new cartoons started to show up at the time, they just got my attention and eventually made me forgot about MLP, here, my relationship with MLP takes a long break and only returns a decade later.

2- Cartoons & Looney Tunes (2015-August 2017)

In 2016, I started making digital art for the first time,  already used to draw before 2016 but it was tradicional art only. I used to post my art on Deviantart, it was mostly about the cartoons I liked, specially Looney Tunes, that was because at the time I had my very first American/Foreigner friend (Nikki Roessler), she loved Looney Tunes too, so we decided to create our own Looney Tunes characters, her OC was inspired by Road Runner, while my oc was basically just Daffy Duck but brown (I remember it was supposed to be orange, but it got brown for some reason) and wearing a hat. I believe he was my very first oc of all time, if I had a oc before him, then I don't remember. 

My account was “OmegaFastTunes” you can still see it here

My oc "Rafa Duck" and Nikki Roessler's oc "Nikki Runner", made on February 2, 2017.

3- Sonic Interval (August 2017)

After a while, I just forgot about Looney Tunes and a few other cartoons I really liked at the time, for the same reasons as MLP. I was still a huge Sonic fan, so all my content was based on Sonic. It was in this year that started to upload my first Youtube videos, they were all gameplays of a few Sonic hacks (the videos and the channel don't exist anymore), here, I made my second oc, and well…he was again just a already existing character but a bit different, but he was worse than “Rafa Duck”, he was “Sonails the Foxehog” (yes), a poorly made fusion of Sonic and Tails, he barely existed for 2 months (I wonder why).

My account was “Rafa Fast” (my original name before Rafa Stary), you can still see it here.

Sonails the Foxehog, made on August 27, 2017.

 

4- Back to Dragon Ball (September 2017-November 2018)

In August 2017, the new Dragon Ball anime, Dragon Ball Super, was finally released in Latin America, I used to be a Dragon Ball fan during the run of Kai in the early 2010's, but when the show stopped airing in Latin America Cartoon Network, I just forgot about the franchise (exactly the same as MLP), and I just wasn't aware about the release of two new movies in 2013 and 2015, so I just really returned to it when Super arrived to Latin America in the middle 2017, and since then, Dragon Ball has been my all time favorite franchise (well, actually it was alongside with Sonic, now it's just DB, with MLP right below it), starting from this point, everything I did was based on Dragon Ball with a bit of Sonic. I created a 3rd oc, unfortunately I lost the very few drawings I did of him, but he was basically just a red haired Saiyan that I created in the Xenoverse video game. So, with this, my arts went through a drastic change, a change that already started back with my Sonic drawings in the previous month, but it was with Dragon Ball that I pretty much completely abandoned the more Cartoonish art style seen in my 2016/early 2017 drawings, and adopted the more Asianish/Animeish style that I still use to this day.

5- Sonic Kawaiiverse (December 2018-September 2019)

With the change in my art style due to Dragon Ball, I had an idea, since at the time I got back my interest in female characters again, I decided to make my “own series”, where I pretty much transformed the Sonic characters into anime girls, yes, decided to call it “Kawaiiverse”, I did a lot of drawings about it and almost a full comic, but I never finished it. It was with this project that I started posting my arts on Facebook, my old friends there started to really like it, and with this, I started to slowly meet other artists for the first time, that was new to me as the only artist I interacted with before was Nikki Roessler in 2016, so Kawaiiverse was pretty much what opened the doors to the world of artists for me.

Unfortunately, I deleted my facebook account where I posted all of the drawings from this period, meaning that all of them are completely lost.

6- Maria Stary (October 2019-April 2020)

When July 2019 arrived, my previous old Tablet broke, I couldn't draw digitally anymore, so I could draw traditionally only, which really sucked for me at the time. Meanwhile, I met a girl, she was very fun and made my days of no Tablet or Internet really happy, we quickly became friends, her name? Was Maria, exactly, by this point, I technically had no oc, that Xenoverse oc was abandoned, and all of “my characters” at the time were just anime girl versions of Sonic characters, so Maria gave me the idea of finally, after 3 years of unoriginal ocs, creating a actual original oc. So I started drawing on paper, designs for my new girl oc, then it was in October 2019 where I got a design concept for her that I would use for her final design til this day, a Girl with long blonde hair, I also decided to call her Maria, because of my friend, as for her surname, I was deciding between Astroy and Stary, which are just the words “Astro” and “Star” with a “y” in the ending (such creativity hehe), I ended up using both, but only “Stary” survived.

My very first finalized drawing of Maria, made on October 4, 2019.

In March 2020, Maria finally got her final design, which got a lot of inspiration from the character “Maria Robotnik”, from, you got it, the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise.

In April, I released my own story for Maria, which was basically a “video comic”, followed by a short easter special. Unlike how it was with my previous ocs, who only lasted for a few months, Maria (now Mary) is still with me to this day, for 4 years ^^

Maria's original final design, made on April 4, 2020.

7- War (May 2020-October 2022)

So far, things apparently looked really good for me for 7 years, but here is where the problems start, the beginning of what I consider to be the worst years of my life on the Internet, the latter half of 2020, and the complete 2021 & 2022 years. Unfortunately, it was so problematic, the hell of a bad and traumatic experience, that I really, genuinely prefer to not talk about how things played out, I really don't like to talk about it and I just don't want to talk about it either, it's all past now and all that matters for me now is that I got everything behind me and I learned from this experience and now I feel much better. But to not let this part of the story completely blank, I'll try to tell what happened in this period, but very vaguely, without any details. 

Basically, I started becoming sort of a popular artist on facebook in May 2020, as said previously, I started to meet other artists in 2019, but it was essentially in May 2020 that I joined the artist community, where I met and interacted with a lot of them etc, in the beginning, everything was looking good and fime, but then, as the months passed, some artists started to act really strange, showing very strange behavior between others, this culminated into something that I like to call as “Artist Wars”, where a lot of artists and their fans were against other artists and their fans, with some trying to take down others, doing things like trying to discourage others from posting their arts, you know, bad things. Unfortunately, I participated in this “war”, some really good friends supported me but a lot of people and specially artists attacked me as well, 

The climax of this “war” was in March-May 2022, when two Artists with a lot of fans joined forces to knock me out. I was one of the artists who got the worst of this situation.

After May 2022, the war cooled down, with each artist and their fans going into a corner, in this period of June-October 2022 I would say that an "Artist Cold War" occurred, as there were no longer conflicts and things like that, but there was a lot of tension between everyone behind the cameras and the chance of another battle occurring was big. A lot of friendships were broken and many artists gave up sharing their work because of this, at least on Facebook. It was truly a scary, devastating and specially, a sad situation, a lot of very unfair stuff happened to me and many of those artists. I had to delete my account (meaning that I lost a lot of my drawings as well). 

By the end of 2022, I created my new account, even though I still had some friends who supported me in the war, I preferred to just cut off my contact with them, i think it was the right decision to be made. All of this traumatized me a lot and would still take some time for me to get over it.

8- Post War (November 2022-June 2023)

By the end of 2022, I created a new account, so I could restart everything, with new friends, etc, I changed my name to Rafa Stary (I said in another thread that it was in 2023, sorry, I misremembered it, it was in November 2022 and not in 2023), I was prepared for a new beginning, created my blog, started to make more content for my Youtube channel, even changed Mary's design a bit, by making her into a adult. But I just couldn't fool myself, I was still very impacted by the war, the damage disturbed me a lot during the first half of 2023.

I was clearly scared and weak, I wasn't confident about my art, I tried to expand my work to other internet places such as Twitter and Instagram, but I gave up on them just in a few months, my videos on Youtube weren't performing what I expected, and worse, I just couldn't make any friends, because of the fear, I didn't want to trust anyone, everything was falling for me. One of the artists who joined forces with that other artist in order to destroy me, found my account, and, he wanted to make a peace treaty, I accepted it, and we even tried to be friends and interact with each other, but it just didn't work, I just wasn't comfortable with him around, I didn't trust him, because of that, we just stopped talking to never see each other again. A friend also found my account, but he was quite problematic, so it wasn't easy to deal with him. During this time, I met a american guy who had very few friends and everyone thought he was a weirdo, I admit I had the same thought in the beginning, but after trying to understand him and learn more about him, I quickly warmed to him and he became the first and only person on the internet in the entire year of 2023 that I felt comfortable having as a friend.

Unfortunately, he's too busy, so he couldn't spend much time with me, but the time we had together was one of the very, very, very, very few good experiences I had in 2023's first semester, because everything else was really sucking to me, even Sonic, my favorite franchise at the time along with Dragon Ball, was disappointing me a lot (that's why I stopped being a fan)

But even with this guy, it just wasn't enough to help me, I was just getting worse and worse, I just couldn't overcome the damage from the war, that kept me feeling traumatized and paranoiac, to the point where I became truly depressed.

I almost put an end to my arts because of this, I still liked to do them, but I really started to want to stop sharing them on the internet, a few people saw them and praised them, but I couldn't trust their comments, and I wasn't satisfied with my arts, they looked bad for me, I remember making a post where I said this “if I could drop my artist talent just like a Minecraft item, for someone else to take it, I would do it, anyone could give better use for it”, I was truly disappointed and unconfident, and the Advances in AI with art just made me feel even worse, making me think that it evaporated my purpose of doing art.

I started making several reflective posts about life, because I had nothing else to do, I no longer had the courage, power and will to post my art, videos, or to do anything with minimal effort, I was genuinely weak and broken. spiritually, and I didn't want to ask for help from my family at all, I didn't want to worry them and waste their time. I really didn't know what to do anymore, I was just lost, with no goal or purpose in my life.

But then, a light at the end of the tunnel emerged, can you guess what it was?

9-Back to My Little Pony (July 2023-Current)

With everything indicating that I was lost, by the end of June, I started to notice a few posts on my facebook feed, they weren't about MLP but they had a few characters from the show in them, and that just made me remember that MLP exists and how I used to be obsessed with it a decade ago, so it was a surprise to me, and at the time, I had the idea of “copying” my American Friend, he is a fan of Sonic and Love Live, and his love for a very “cool” and “manly” series, but also for a “girlish” series really caught my attention, so I wanted to search for my own “girly” show to watch and become a fan, it was one of the very few or maybe the only thing I got myself any excited to do in that terrible time I was. 

So I decided to start watching MLP in July, of course, in the beginning I thought I was going to drop it after 10 episodes because It was too girly and childish, but I ended up being very impressed, and I was really enjoying it a lot, but not only that, the show was making me feel very happy and…hopeful? It was a unexplainable feeling to me, I started to care about the characters so much, loving their interactions and everything, but specially, the Friendship Lessons, I just can't explain how much the ending of those early Seasons episodes impacted me, yes it was cute and all but, it was so heartwarming. I don't think I said this here before, but I felt like if the show wanted to say something to me and touch my spirit, as if I had started watching it at the right time, exactly when I was so depressed and destroyed inside, Pinkie in “Party of One” specially made me look back at myself and how I was almost mirroring the way she acts in that episode.

I was loving it, every episode, but I just couldn't assume myself as a fan yet, but then, it happened, watched “Sisterhooves Social” and that episode just nearly made me cry (or did and I just forgot) the super simple story of two sisters having problems with each other, and in the ending loving each other again, nothing more, nothing wooow, nothing too complex, just a simple story about two sisters having a bad time between them and solving it in the end, with a plot twist that caught me very well, that episode hit my heart in a whole new level, it made me assume to myself that I was a fan, at first, I did think about if showing it to people was a good idea, but I didn't care, just one or two weeks after I started watching it, I was already in Season 2 and sharing everything about MLP in my profile, I was feeling very happy and satisfied doing that, something I wasn't feeling before I started watching the show, and guess what? I stopped making those posts talking about my life being a waste etc, how my drawings suck, those stuff, I stopped with them, it truly felt like if the show was some sort of a manifestation of a divine light that had the power to take me out from the dark, because the change was simply instantaneous, I wasn't feeling depressed anymore, it was beautiful.

It took me a few months to finish watching it, as nowadays I really take a lot to finish a show, but every time I spent with the show was worth and was helping me a lot, it made me want to post my arts again and specially, made me love them again, I month after I started watching Season 1, I was already making fanart of it.

Not only that, it gave me the courage to interact more and have friend, unfortunately, it took me a while to make that work given how my view was still partially affected by the traumatic events, but I would never understand it if I didn't try, so I had slow start by joining some MLP facebook groups, but maybe the format wasn't the most appropriate for me, so I searched for a alternative, and here we go, MLP forums, but, I started it pretty wrong. I was used to what i saw in other forums, and for me, everyone was so serious in these forums, oftenly even rude, so unfortunately, when I came here, I thought everyone here was serious as well, so I just really wanted to talk about MLP with someone and nothing more, I wasn't expecting to make any friend here, I don't think it was possible, unfortunately, took me a few months to realize that i was wrong, but better late than never! I started to actually try looking at other sections from the forums that weren't just the G5 news/discussion, and I started to notice people being funny, silly, talking regularly and very friendly, it really surprised me, I thought it was exactly the opposite, I remember that at the time, some members tried to act friendly with me, but I just ignored that behavior and acted very serious because I completely unaware of how the site was outside of the serious threads I was usually visiting, so around February I decided to start giving this “side” of the forum a chance, being more friendly and just enjoying it, being just myself and not forcing a serious look.

Since then, as you can see, I didn't stop, and I definitely don't miss, not even a bit, how my early months on this forum were, I was being completely wrong and wasting my time, why I didn't try to explore it from the beginning? I really apologize for that, immensely, words aren't enough to describe, but basically, this site simply became my favorite place to chat and any kind of online interaction in general, it's always fun to be here, the amount of effort put into it, and specially, how it finally made me find new friends, it made me feel complete again, everyone is so nice, this place lives and it is more than important for me now, it helped me a lot, just like MLP, and I'm meeting awesome artists here as well, so there are awesome people and artists! It has everything!

Final:

Even though I still have some problems nowadays, I'm definitely feeling a lot better now, how i am today just can't be compared how I was in the first half of 2023, I could never expect how the show would help me so much, made me love sharing my arts again, made me stay positive, the Friendship lessons taught me a lot, the show taught me a lot, rewatching Dragon Ball in the latter half of that year too also taught me too to not give up and stay strong, so I learned with everything makes me happy, the friendships I made here truly made me walk in a new road.

A decade ago, I couldn't make many friendships because I just didn't know how, so I was already happy enough watching cartoons and playing video games.

3 years ago, I was given the opportunity to make it work, by joining the artist community, but that community had a lot of problems, and I was too dumb to understand them, and I did everything to not lose my followers and friends, and that failed miserably, making me feel traumatized and unable to make any more friendships.

But now, thanks to MLP and the forum, I can see that there was still hope, I'm really glad that this forum exists, I'm glad that FiM helped not only me, but a lot of people to start having bright days, it's so good to see how everyone Talks about how the show influenced them, I'm happy to see these people spreading fun and smiles, I'm happy that this opportunity is given to everyone, I hope this site continues eternally! You are always a reason for my days to keep shining! 

I am here, feeling good, with projects and loving to do what I do, I finally found my own bubble of friends, all of this helps me to have more courage, being myself, sharing my stuff, I'm truly grateful for everything, I'm sure this time it's going to be different, I won't commit the same mistakes as I did 3 years ago ever again, I don't want conflicts, I want to just avoid that now, relax, I want to be happy, I want peace, with awesome friends and our pones, I can still feel bad for a few things, but I am for sure now much stronger than the damage, I already got over it, I'll not repeat my mistakes, it's all past and what matters is the present and what I'm doing now, and I'm doing a lot, I even redesigned Mary! And she looks even more awesome now!

And this is my journey, I really wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the help from my family, my friend on Facebook, Mary, Dragon ball and of course, MLP and everyone here from the forum! I'm eternally grateful to everyone!! 

[Deae Rising Shine~ 58,118]

not much too tell, im mostly straight, maybe bi-curious. but I don't mind whatever gender anyone is, it's their choice and shouldn't be threated like a crime. i hope anyone can live like they want in the future, who knows.

[StarHeart333 1,775]

10 hours ago, Rafa Stary said:

My journey huh? Well Dashie, it's very, very long to be honest, I honestly thought if I really should make this post, but I reunited my courage to try, so I'll tell the whole story, with timeline and everything, of course, there's a lot of stuff, so I'm going to tell all of it more focused on the artistic and MLP parts, almost sure I haven't forgotten anything, so I hope you have a good read Cool Rainbow Pone!  Enjoy…

1- Cartoons & MLP (2012-2014)

I used to watch all kinds of cartoons, at the time, there was the boom of Pones, and i just couldn't avoid not looking at them, they were the very first 2D characters that I thought that looked cute and beautiful, the art style just caught my attention, then I started watching videos about it on Youtube and I got, well, obsessed with Pones, but I never watched the show for some reason, I just can't explain why, I don't think it was because it was made for girls and I didn't wanted my parents to discover it, my parents were already aware of it and they had no problems with it, so it's weird, I'll never remember why I avoided watching it, but I loved the characters and watching clips and crazy edits about them on Youtube. But then after 2014, I just moved on from MLP, not exactly because I stopped liking the pones or anything, but simply because a lot of new cartoons started to show up at the time, they just got my attention and eventually made me forgot about MLP, here, my relationship with MLP takes a long break and only returns a decade later.

2- Cartoons & Looney Tunes (2015-August 2017)

In 2016, I started making digital art for the first time,  already used to draw before 2016 but it was tradicional art only. I used to post my art on Deviantart, it was mostly about the cartoons I liked, specially Looney Tunes, that was because at the time I had my very first American/Foreigner friend (Nikki Roessler), she loved Looney Tunes too, so we decided to create our own Looney Tunes characters, her OC was inspired by Road Runner, while my oc was basically just Daffy Duck but brown (I remember it was supposed to be orange, but it got brown for some reason) and wearing a hat. I believe he was my very first oc of all time, if I had a oc before him, then I don't remember. 

My account was “OmegaFastTunes” you can still see it here

My oc "Rafa Duck" and Nikki Roessler's oc "Nikki Runner", made on February 2, 2017.

3- Sonic Interval (August 2017)

After a while, I just forgot about Looney Tunes and a few other cartoons I really liked at the time, for the same reasons as MLP. I was still a huge Sonic fan, so all my content was based on Sonic. It was in this year that started to upload my first Youtube videos, they were all gameplays of a few Sonic hacks (the videos and the channel don't exist anymore), here, I made my second oc, and well…he was again just a already existing character but a bit different, but he was worse than “Rafa Duck”, he was “Sonails the Foxehog” (yes), a poorly made fusion of Sonic and Tails, he barely existed for 2 months (I wonder why).

My account was “Rafa Fast” (my original name before Rafa Stary), you can still see it here.

Sonails the Foxehog, made on August 27, 2017.

 

4- Back to Dragon Ball (September 2017-November 2018)

In August 2017, the new Dragon Ball anime, Dragon Ball Super, was finally released in Latin America, I used to be a Dragon Ball fan during the run of Kai in the early 2010's, but when the show stopped airing in Latin America Cartoon Network, I just forgot about the franchise (exactly the same as MLP), and I just wasn't aware about the release of two new movies in 2013 and 2015, so I just really returned to it when Super arrived to Latin America in the middle 2017, and since then, Dragon Ball has been my all time favorite franchise (well, actually it was alongside with Sonic, now it's just DB, with MLP right below it), starting from this point, everything I did was based on Dragon Ball with a bit of Sonic. I created a 3rd oc, unfortunately I lost the very few drawings I did of him, but he was basically just a red haired Saiyan that I created in the Xenoverse video game. So, with this, my arts went through a drastic change, a change that already started back with my Sonic drawings in the previous month, but it was with Dragon Ball that I pretty much completely abandoned the more Cartoonish art style seen in my 2016/early 2017 drawings, and adopted the more Asianish/Animeish style that I still use to this day.

5- Sonic Kawaiiverse (December 2018-September 2019)

With the change in my art style due to Dragon Ball, I had an idea, since at the time I got back my interest in female characters again, I decided to make my “own series”, where I pretty much transformed the Sonic characters into anime girls, yes, decided to call it “Kawaiiverse”, I did a lot of drawings about it and almost a full comic, but I never finished it. It was with this project that I started posting my arts on Facebook, my old friends there started to really like it, and with this, I started to slowly meet other artists for the first time, that was new to me as the only artist I interacted with before was Nikki Roessler in 2016, so Kawaiiverse was pretty much what opened the doors to the world of artists for me.

Unfortunately, I deleted my facebook account where I posted all of the drawings from this period, meaning that all of them are completely lost.

6- Maria Stary (October 2019-April 2020)

When July 2019 arrived, my previous old Tablet broke, I couldn't draw digitally anymore, so I could draw traditionally only, which really sucked for me at the time. Meanwhile, I met a girl, she was very fun and made my days of no Tablet or Internet really happy, we quickly became friends, her name? Was Maria, exactly, by this point, I technically had no oc, that Xenoverse oc was abandoned, and all of “my characters” at the time were just anime girl versions of Sonic characters, so Maria gave me the idea of finally, after 3 years of unoriginal ocs, creating a actual original oc. So I started drawing on paper, designs for my new girl oc, then it was in October 2019 where I got a design concept for her that I would use for her final design til this day, a Girl with long blonde hair, I also decided to call her Maria, because of my friend, as for her surname, I was deciding between Astroy and Stary, which are just the words “Astro” and “Star” with a “y” in the ending (such creativity hehe), I ended up using both, but only “Stary” survived.

My very first finalized drawing of Maria, made on October 4, 2019.

In March 2020, Maria finally got her final design, which got a lot of inspiration from the character “Maria Robotnik”, from, you got it, the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise.

In April, I released my own story for Maria, which was basically a “video comic”, followed by a short easter special. Unlike how it was with my previous ocs, who only lasted for a few months, Maria (now Mary) is still with me to this day, for 4 years ^^

Maria's original final design, made on April 4, 2020.

7- War (May 2020-October 2022)

So far, things apparently looked really good for me for 7 years, but here is where the problems start, the beginning of what I consider to be the worst years of my life on the Internet, the latter half of 2020, and the complete 2021 & 2022 years. Unfortunately, it was so problematic, the hell of a bad and traumatic experience, that I really, genuinely prefer to not talk about how things played out, I really don't like to talk about it and I just don't want to talk about it either, it's all past now and all that matters for me now is that I got everything behind me and I learned from this experience and now I feel much better. But to not let this part of the story completely blank, I'll try to tell what happened in this period, but very vaguely, without any details. 

Basically, I started becoming sort of a popular artist on facebook in May 2020, as said previously, I started to meet other artists in 2019, but it was essentially in May 2020 that I joined the artist community, where I met and interacted with a lot of them etc, in the beginning, everything was looking good and fime, but then, as the months passed, some artists started to act really strange, showing very strange behavior between others, this culminated into something that I like to call as “Artist Wars”, where a lot of artists and their fans were against other artists and their fans, with some trying to take down others, doing things like trying to discourage others from posting their arts, you know, bad things. Unfortunately, I participated in this “war”, some really good friends supported me but a lot of people and specially artists attacked me as well, 

The climax of this “war” was in March-May 2022, when two Artists with a lot of fans joined forces to knock me out. I was one of the artists who got the worst of this situation.

After May 2022, the war cooled down, with each artist and their fans going into a corner, in this period of June-October 2022 I would say that an "Artist Cold War" occurred, as there were no longer conflicts and things like that, but there was a lot of tension between everyone behind the cameras and the chance of another battle occurring was big. A lot of friendships were broken and many artists gave up sharing their work because of this, at least on Facebook. It was truly a scary, devastating and specially, a sad situation, a lot of very unfair stuff happened to me and many of those artists. I had to delete my account (meaning that I lost a lot of my drawings as well). 

By the end of 2022, I created my new account, even though I still had some friends who supported me in the war, I preferred to just cut off my contact with them, i think it was the right decision to be made. All of this traumatized me a lot and would still take some time for me to get over it.

8- Post War (November 2022-June 2023)

By the end of 2022, I created a new account, so I could restart everything, with new friends, etc, I changed my name to Rafa Stary (I said in another thread that it was in 2023, sorry, I misremembered it, it was in November 2022 and not in 2023), I was prepared for a new beginning, created my blog, started to make more content for my Youtube channel, even changed Mary's design a bit, by making her into a adult. But I just couldn't fool myself, I was still very impacted by the war, the damage disturbed me a lot during the first half of 2023.

I was clearly scared and weak, I wasn't confident about my art, I tried to expand my work to other internet places such as Twitter and Instagram, but I gave up on them just in a few months, my videos on Youtube weren't performing what I expected, and worse, I just couldn't make any friends, because of the fear, I didn't want to trust anyone, everything was falling for me. One of the artists who joined forces with that other artist in order to destroy me, found my account, and, he wanted to make a peace treaty, I accepted it, and we even tried to be friends and interact with each other, but it just didn't work, I just wasn't comfortable with him around, I didn't trust him, because of that, we just stopped talking to never see each other again. A friend also found my account, but he was quite problematic, so it wasn't easy to deal with him. During this time, I met a american guy who had very few friends and everyone thought he was a weirdo, I admit I had the same thought in the beginning, but after trying to understand him and learn more about him, I quickly warmed to him and he became the first and only person on the internet in the entire year of 2023 that I felt comfortable having as a friend.

Unfortunately, he's too busy, so he couldn't spend much time with me, but the time we had together was one of the very, very, very, very few good experiences I had in 2023's first semester, because everything else was really sucking to me, even Sonic, my favorite franchise at the time along with Dragon Ball, was disappointing me a lot (that's why I stopped being a fan)

But even with this guy, it just wasn't enough to help me, I was just getting worse and worse, I just couldn't overcome the damage from the war, that kept me feeling traumatized and paranoiac, to the point where I became truly depressed.

I almost put an end to my arts because of this, I still liked to do them, but I really started to want to stop sharing them on the internet, a few people saw them and praised them, but I couldn't trust their comments, and I wasn't satisfied with my arts, they looked bad for me, I remember making a post where I said this “if I could drop my artist talent just like a Minecraft item, for someone else to take it, I would do it, anyone could give better use for it”, I was truly disappointed and unconfident, and the Advances in AI with art just made me feel even worse, making me think that it evaporated my purpose of doing art.

I started making several reflective posts about life, because I had nothing else to do, I no longer had the courage, power and will to post my art, videos, or to do anything with minimal effort, I was genuinely weak and broken. spiritually, and I didn't want to ask for help from my family at all, I didn't want to worry them and waste their time. I really didn't know what to do anymore, I was just lost, with no goal or purpose in my life.

But then, a light at the end of the tunnel emerged, can you guess what it was?

9-Back to My Little Pony (July 2023-Current)

With everything indicating that I was lost, by the end of June, I started to notice a few posts on my facebook feed, they weren't about MLP but they had a few characters from the show in them, and that just made me remember that MLP exists and how I used to be obsessed with it a decade ago, so it was a surprise to me, and at the time, I had the idea of “copying” my American Friend, he is a fan of Sonic and Love Live, and his love for a very “cool” and “manly” series, but also for a “girlish” series really caught my attention, so I wanted to search for my own “girly” show to watch and become a fan, it was one of the very few or maybe the only thing I got myself any excited to do in that terrible time I was. 

So I decided to start watching MLP in July, of course, in the beginning I thought I was going to drop it after 10 episodes because It was too girly and childish, but I ended up being very impressed, and I was really enjoying it a lot, but not only that, the show was making me feel very happy and…hopeful? It was a unexplainable feeling to me, I started to care about the characters so much, loving their interactions and everything, but specially, the Friendship Lessons, I just can't explain how much the ending of those early Seasons episodes impacted me, yes it was cute and all but, it was so heartwarming. I don't think I said this here before, but I felt like if the show wanted to say something to me and touch my spirit, as if I had started watching it at the right time, exactly when I was so depressed and destroyed inside, Pinkie in “Party of One” specially made me look back at myself and how I was almost mirroring the way she acts in that episode.

I was loving it, every episode, but I just couldn't assume myself as a fan yet, but then, it happened, watched “Sisterhooves Social” and that episode just nearly made me cry (or did and I just forgot) the super simple story of two sisters having problems with each other, and in the ending loving each other again, nothing more, nothing wooow, nothing too complex, just a simple story about two sisters having a bad time between them and solving it in the end, with a plot twist that caught me very well, that episode hit my heart in a whole new level, it made me assume to myself that I was a fan, at first, I did think about if showing it to people was a good idea, but I didn't care, just one or two weeks after I started watching it, I was already in Season 2 and sharing everything about MLP in my profile, I was feeling very happy and satisfied doing that, something I wasn't feeling before I started watching the show, and guess what? I stopped making those posts talking about my life being a waste etc, how my drawings suck, those stuff, I stopped with them, it truly felt like if the show was some sort of a manifestation of a divine light that had the power to take me out from the dark, because the change was simply instantaneous, I wasn't feeling depressed anymore, it was beautiful.

It took me a few months to finish watching it, as nowadays I really take a lot to finish a show, but every time I spent with the show was worth and was helping me a lot, it made me want to post my arts again and specially, made me love them again, I month after I started watching Season 1, I was already making fanart of it.

Not only that, it gave me the courage to interact more and have friend, unfortunately, it took me a while to make that work given how my view was still partially affected by the traumatic events, but I would never understand it if I didn't try, so I had slow start by joining some MLP facebook groups, but maybe the format wasn't the most appropriate for me, so I searched for a alternative, and here we go, MLP forums, but, I started it pretty wrong. I was used to what i saw in other forums, and for me, everyone was so serious in these forums, oftenly even rude, so unfortunately, when I came here, I thought everyone here was serious as well, so I just really wanted to talk about MLP with someone and nothing more, I wasn't expecting to make any friend here, I don't think it was possible, unfortunately, took me a few months to realize that i was wrong, but better late than never! I started to actually try looking at other sections from the forums that weren't just the G5 news/discussion, and I started to notice people being funny, silly, talking regularly and very friendly, it really surprised me, I thought it was exactly the opposite, I remember that at the time, some members tried to act friendly with me, but I just ignored that behavior and acted very serious because I completely unaware of how the site was outside of the serious threads I was usually visiting, so around February I decided to start giving this “side” of the forum a chance, being more friendly and just enjoying it, being just myself and not forcing a serious look.

Since then, as you can see, I didn't stop, and I definitely don't miss, not even a bit, how my early months on this forum were, I was being completely wrong and wasting my time, why I didn't try to explore it from the beginning? I really apologize for that, immensely, words aren't enough to describe, but basically, this site simply became my favorite place to chat and any kind of online interaction in general, it's always fun to be here, the amount of effort put into it, and specially, how it finally made me find new friends, it made me feel complete again, everyone is so nice, this place lives and it is more than important for me now, it helped me a lot, just like MLP, and I'm meeting awesome artists here as well, so there are awesome people and artists! It has everything!

Final:

Even though I still have some problems nowadays, I'm definitely feeling a lot better now, how i am today just can't be compared how I was in the first half of 2023, I could never expect how the show would help me so much, made me love sharing my arts again, made me stay positive, the Friendship lessons taught me a lot, the show taught me a lot, rewatching Dragon Ball in the latter half of that year too also taught me too to not give up and stay strong, so I learned with everything makes me happy, the friendships I made here truly made me walk in a new road.

A decade ago, I couldn't make many friendships because I just didn't know how, so I was already happy enough watching cartoons and playing video games.

3 years ago, I was given the opportunity to make it work, by joining the artist community, but that community had a lot of problems, and I was too dumb to understand them, and I did everything to not lose my followers and friends, and that failed miserably, making me feel traumatized and unable to make any more friendships.

But now, thanks to MLP and the forum, I can see that there was still hope, I'm really glad that this forum exists, I'm glad that FiM helped not only me, but a lot of people to start having bright days, it's so good to see how everyone Talks about how the show influenced them, I'm happy to see these people spreading fun and smiles, I'm happy that this opportunity is given to everyone, I hope this site continues eternally! You are always a reason for my days to keep shining! 

I am here, feeling good, with projects and loving to do what I do, I finally found my own bubble of friends, all of this helps me to have more courage, being myself, sharing my stuff, I'm truly grateful for everything, I'm sure this time it's going to be different, I won't commit the same mistakes as I did 3 years ago ever again, I don't want conflicts, I want to just avoid that now, relax, I want to be happy, I want peace, with awesome friends and our pones, I can still feel bad for a few things, but I am for sure now much stronger than the damage, I already got over it, I'll not repeat my mistakes, it's all past and what matters is the present and what I'm doing now, and I'm doing a lot, I even redesigned Mary! And she looks even more awesome now!

And this is my journey, I really wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the help from my family, my friend on Facebook, Mary, Dragon ball and of course, MLP and everyone here from the forum! I'm eternally grateful to everyone!! 

That was a very beautiful story you shared and yes I did actually read that entire thing.  It was sad to hear of your struggles in the world of being an artists but I am glad that you feel the MLP:FIM shows and community helped you to feel more comfortable. 

Just remember art is always in the eye of beholder and even the best artists in history will never have their work liked by everyone all the time.

But that's the key thing you will always critics who will dislike your work and yet of all of them there is but ONE critic in your life whose opinion of your work actually matters.

That critic is you and YOU ALONE.

Anyone else's opinion doesn't matter if YOU like it then that should be enough and if others cannot appreciate your skill then forget them and move on.

You are strong, brave, and surrounded by love of family and friends. If you close your eyes and just meditate for a minute you might also feel the support from the divine as well.

Point being even if it feels like we  face our struggles alone we never truly are without help to turn to..

Anyways, I appreciate your story and your work. Peace, light, love, and Harmony be with you 😁

 

 

[StarHeart333 1,775]

I apologize for being slightly off topic but I have a question I would like ask about this event to whom should I direct the question?

[Moch 134]

Well to be quiet honest I don't have much of a story. But I noticed during middle school I only had crushed on girls unlike all the other girls. Middle school me wanted to know if others experience this so I hop on the internet and turns out tons did. I even learned the term "lesbian" this way I haven't came out yet but I'm sure when I do I'll still supported and loved

 

[ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,984]

I don't have a story. I am antisexual (Just in case, I'm neutral about the LGBT+ community and straight people) and I have never fallen in love with anyone because I am an aromantic. Maybe I'm also asexual, I don't remember that I've ever experienced sexual attraction. I'm antisexual because I find sex disgusting. I will be celibate for the rest of my life and will never be in a loving relationship. I have many important goals, and relationships and sex can hinder the achievement of my goals. I'm glad I'm like this and I'd never want to fix it.

Edited June 20, 2024 by ComanderZhabikKlavik

[StaryStory 4,432]

On 2024-06-18 at 6:49 PM, Reiki Knight 13 said:

That was a very beautiful story you shared and yes I did actually read that entire thing.  It was sad to hear of your struggles in the world of being an artists but I am glad that you feel the MLP:FIM shows and community helped you to feel more comfortable. 

Just remember art is always in the eye of beholder and even the best artists in history will never have their work liked by everyone all the time.

But that's the key thing you will always critics who will dislike your work and yet of all of them there is but ONE critic in your life whose opinion of your work actually matters.

That critic is you and YOU ALONE.

Anyone else's opinion doesn't matter if YOU like it then that should be enough and if others cannot appreciate your skill then forget them and move on.

You are strong, brave, and surrounded by love of family and friends. If you close your eyes and just meditate for a minute you might also feel the support from the divine as well.

Point being even if it feels like we  face our struggles alone we never truly are without help to turn to..

Anyways, I appreciate your story and your work. Peace, light, love, and Harmony be with you 😁

Thanks a lot Reiki, I'll always love to draw and nothing will stop me from it, it's part of me and helps me to feel spiritually better, even when I had no one to support my art I kept trying because that is a challenge for me myself and I think that is necessary for me, to please myself, and the support I receive from everyone who lives means a lot to me, I'm sorry if I don't demonstrate it that much, I'm kinda bad and shy to do it, but I'm eternally grateful 

The stories everyone told here are good and very interesting too, glad to see that everyone was strong enough to easily go over their problems and accept their identity, I didn't even touch on this subject in my post actually because I really don't have much to say. As far as I remember, I was always straight since as a kid, but I feel like this sexuality has gotten even stronger as I've gotten older, to the point I made my oc Mary into a adult so I could marry her. I don't have interest in relationships in real life though, I prefer to be alone, I don't think I need a real woman to be happy, and I don't like sex, I wouldn't say that I'm antisexual or anything because I don't have anything against it, who enjoys it, be heppy, I don't enjoy it, I'm happy too 

On 2024-06-19 at 4:22 AM, Reiki Knight 13 said:

I apologize for being slightly off topic but I have a question I would like ask about this event to whom should I direct the question?

I directed mine to Dashie 

[Never Returning 28,616]

In terms of my sexual and romantic orientation, I always knew that I was attracted to girls from a young age. However, I was always unsure about how exactly my attraction worked. Even as far back as elementary school, I can remember feeling jealous of my female classmates, the clothes they got to wear and the friendships they got to have. I remember wishing that I could indulge in various feminine things for years, but feeling like I wasn't allowed to because, well... I was a boy, at least as far as I knew. Eventually, I became so embarrassed about my desires that I repressed them all, and tried to act as masculine as I could. On the outside, this seemed to work fine, but on the inside, I wasn't happy. I eventually became resentful of everyone and everything, and would lash out at others as a result. The first two years of puberty were the absolute worst years of my life, and I often wish that I could forget them entirely.

When I discovered MLP in 2017 and became a brony, this seemed to satisfy my innate desire for femininity. I joined MLP Forums about a year later, and this community has been a wonderful outlet for me ever since then. But all the same, I still felt very out of place socially, perhaps even more than I did before. Although I mostly enjoyed high school, I never felt comfortable being grouped in with the guys at my school, and longed for companionship with the girls. Deep down, I think I was aware of my true identity as far back as 2018, but just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet. My final year and a half of high school took place online during the covid pandemic, and since I wasn't really socializing at all during that time, I thought about gender identity much less. But when I went off to college, all of my feelings of discomfort surrounding my gender gradually came back, and they eventually made me lonely and depressed.

In July of 2023, my "egg" suddenly cracked, and after a week of deep questioning, I finally accepted that I was a trans woman. Almost instantly, everything about my life up to that point made sense. I came out to my parents about a week later, and although that didn't go too well at first, they soon adjusted to using my new name and pronouns, and have been supportive since then. I started HRT in October of last year, and socially transitioned at college in January of this year. Now that I can finally be my authentic self, I'm genuinely so much happier than I was a year ago, and I'm very happy to be a part of this community too.

[Lawyer Slip 3,073]

I've got a story about my journey, of my feelings of love but it doesn't have a happy ending. 

It all started in 6th grade. I had just got into middle school, and my life was like a Waboba Moon Bounce that had been thrown down a pit. Ricocheting off of the walls and creating waves of emotions. People were dating each other and I didn't know what to think of it. My (at the time) tiny brain could not comprehend how people loved each other that much, so it pretty much passed my mind, and I forgot about it once Covid hit. 

By 8th grade, I was back in school, and then, two days into the year, and the girl who'd been bullying me since 4th grade, decided to make my life hell again. And to make things worse, it seemed others decided to follow in her footsteps. That year, caused my mental sanity, to shatter. 

And the next thing you know, the subjects of dating, love, and sex come up again thanks to health class, and people around me dating. I felt scared and unsure, as love is extremely complicated to me. I already struggle with decisions of all shapes and sizes, so once I realized what a decision love was, I decided, to board myself up. 

On November 8th, 2022, I declared to my parents that I was AroAce.  And surprisingly, they were very understanding about it. They supported me, and said I could do what I wanted, and that went well. Sure, Middle School sucked, but at least I didn't have to deal with love right? 

Well, enter, High School. And this, changed EVERYTHING. Why? Because I found love. In a color guard member in my marching band. But like I said earlier, I still didn't know what love was, and I was scared to tell her. So I didn't. Then my next year of high school came, and I did tell her. AND THEN SHE TRANSFERRED TO ANOTHER SCHOOL. We still had phone numbers, so I could talk to her, and for a while, I thought I was doing pretty good! 

Until, 3 days ago. When I found out, that the girl I loved, who I was going on a date with to TopGolf, already had a boyfriend. 

I felt, no, I FEEL crushed. The first and only person I've ever loved, basically cast me away, like the useless piece of trash those bullies said I was. And you can all say "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." But it won't help. Nothing will. 

I've learned, and this is my standpoint, and mine alone, that love, is a demon. I feel like love, is a shape shifting demon. It seems all nice at first, and if you get lucky, it'll keep being nice until death's cold embrace. Or, it'll stab you in the back, and take what you hold dear, not even letting you look back. 

Love is complicated. It's good, it's bad, it's gracious, it's malicious, it's kind, it's heartbreaking, and in some cases, it ends in a quick death, that no one wanted. 

And during my journey, it was so illusive, that I may never know how it truly functions.

And I don't think I ever will . . . 

Edited June 21, 2024 by Lawyer Slip

[StaryStory 4,432]

7 hours ago, Lawyer Slip said:

I've got a story about my journey, of my feelings of love but it doesn't have a happy ending. 

It all started in 6th grade. I had just got into middle school, and my life was like a Waboba Moon Bounce that had been thrown down a pit. Ricocheting off of the walls and creating waves of emotions. People were dating each other and I didn't know what to think of it. My (at the time) tiny brain could not comprehend how people loved each other that much, so it pretty much passed my mind, and I forgot about it once Covid hit. 

By 8th grade, I was back in school, and then, two days into the year, and the girl who'd been bullying me since 4th grade, decided to make my life hell again. And to make things worse, it seemed others decided to follow in her footsteps. That year, caused my mental sanity, to shatter. 

And the next thing you know, the subjects of dating, love, and sex come up again thanks to health class, and people around me dating. I felt scared and unsure, as love is extremely complicated to me. I already struggle with decisions of all shapes and sizes, so once I realized what a decision love was, I decided, to board myself up. 

On November 8th, 2022, I declared to my parents that I was AroAce.  And surprisingly, they were very understanding about it. They supported me, and said I could do what I wanted, and that went well. Sure, Middle School sucked, but at least I didn't have to deal with love right? 

Well, enter, High School. And this, changed EVERYTHING. Why? Because I found love. In a color guard member in my marching band. But like I said earlier, I still didn't know what love was, and I was scared to tell her. So I didn't. Then my next year of high school came, and I did tell her. AND THEN SHE TRANSFERRED TO ANOTHER SCHOOL. We still had phone numbers, so I could talk to her, and for a while, I thought I was doing pretty good! 

Until, 3 days ago. When I found out, that the girl I loved, who I was going on a date with to TopGolf, already had a boyfriend. 

I felt, no, I FEEL crushed. The first and only person I've ever loved, basically cast me away, like the useless piece of trash those bullies said I was. And you can all say "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." But it won't help. Nothing will. 

I've learned, and this is my standpoint, and mine alone, that love, is a demon. I feel like love, is a shape shifting demon. It seems all nice at first, and if you get lucky, it'll keep being nice until death's cold embrace. Or, it'll stab you in the back, and take what you hold dear, not even letting you look back. 

Love is complicated. It's good, it's bad, it's gracious, it's malicious, it's kind, it's heartbreaking, and in some cases, it ends in a quick death, that no one wanted. 

And during my journey, it was so illusive, that I may never know how it truly functions.

And I don't think I ever will . . . 

Very sad to hear that Layer, but don't worry, relationships are fleeting, you're going to get over it in a few months, I know, it is a pain that only you can understand and feel, but I can guarantee that in a few months, you'll just forget about it, then you'll feel a lot better, relationships are strong but not enough to knock you out, you're stronger than it, then you'll decide if you'll try again or if you're already happy enough with family and friends and doesn't need a girlfriend, just like me, trust yourself 

[Lawyer Slip 3,073]

24 minutes ago, Rafa Stary said:

Very sad to hear that Layer, but don't worry, relationships are fleeting, you're going to get over it in a few months, I know, it is a pain that only you can understand and feel, but I can guarantee that in a few months, you'll just forget about it, then you'll feel a lot better, relationships are strong but not enough to knock you out, you're stronger than it, then you'll decide if you'll try again or if you're already happy enough with family and friends and doesn't need a girlfriend, just like me, trust yourself 

Thanks Rafa. That was what I needed to hear more than anything else. I've felt alone, but you helped me. You're a true friend.

[StarHeart333 1,775]

I suppose it's time for me to tell my own little tale. 

The starting point for when things started to change for.me was a Christmas eve as a little kid like 5-6 in the hospital. 

I was extremely sick with some kind of fever or flu and I mean bad. I was barely conscious and my awareness of things was blurry to put it mildly. I was told from family that my fever stay around 105-107 range for a while

The reason I call it the beginning was that was the day I become more aware of things because as I was out of it I felt the presence and energy of something I wanna say angelic or at least that's what I believed at the time.

I remember everything just kind of fading out into darkness then that strange presence and then I woke up perfectly fine but feeling as someone with fingers made of ice had shoved them directly into my chest and squeezed as hard as possible. Like being brought back from the dead is what it felt like I guess.

 

I know now that this was the day I started to connect with a part of my existence beyond my humanity.

After that I didn't understand why but I started to get an interest in paganism and the occult as I grew older in life.

Bits and pieces came together little by little bit it wasn't until MLP:FIM happened that . everything came together.

That was when I started having very strange dreams like ones where I saw episodes of the show well in advance, saw ponies in the show in them that do not exist within the show itself..said strange ponies were always deep background and never in the foreground.

One night.there.were just the ponies themselves. Various different pegasi and unicorns and they started to explain everything to me they were various friends and family from another world. Of all of it I'll give you the short version: my mother was a pegasus with white wings and my dad was a dark bluish unicorn. I grew up there specializing in healing and reading fortunes.

I reincarnated into earth as a human because I wanted to gain a little insight on things like being human, what life on earth is like and so forth.

Since then I've been connecting with them and continuing my studies of light magic here.

 

 

 

[hanguangjun 44]

Hmm... I guess it was during middle school. To be honest, I don't really remember much so there's not much of a story to tell. Though there is one awkward moment in high school I remember where some dude kept asking if I'm gay. Technically, yeah but I didn't really want to answer 'cause I didn't know how he'd react. Anyways, the reason I say technically is because I'm arospec, homoromantic, and asexual. Since some don't really know much about asexuality, or say it's fake, I usually just say I'm gay. But it's easier to be open on the internet than in real life where a relationship can change according to how you answer...

To be honest, I don't really know how many crushes I've even had because romantic relationships were so prevalent in media so I felt like I had to have crushes...

Another thing is that in high school, I never thought that I'd be able to  go "stealth" (if you know, you know) in high school but the dude who asked if I was gay surprised me. I guess I kind of think of him somewhat fondly but at the same time, I dislike him because he trash-talked my sister. (ˉ▽ˉ；)...

[StarHeart333 1,775]

On 2024-06-25 at 12:52 PM, hanguangjun said:

Hmm... I guess it was during middle school. To be honest, I don't really remember much so there's not much of a story to tell. Though there is one awkward moment in high school I remember where some dude kept asking if I'm gay. Technically, yeah but I didn't really want to answer 'cause I didn't know how he'd react. Anyways, the reason I say technically is because I'm arospec, homoromantic, and asexual. Since some don't really know much about asexuality, or say it's fake, I usually just say I'm gay. But it's easier to be open on the internet than in real life where a relationship can change according to how you answer...

To be honest, I don't really know how many crushes I've even had because romantic relationships were so prevalent in media so I felt like I had to have crushes...

Another thing is that in high school, I never thought that I'd be able to  go "stealth" (if you know, you know) in high school but the dude who asked if I was gay surprised me. I guess I kind of think of him somewhat fondly but at the same time, I dislike him because he trash-talked my sister. (ˉ▽ˉ；)...

So was it a straightforward self discovery to learn you were Asexual or were there a few moments of doubt in your journey? 

Edited June 27, 2024 by Reiki Knight 13

[hanguangjun 44]

3 hours ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

So was it a straightforward self discovery to learn you were Asexual or were there a few moments of doubt in your journey? 

Oh, asexuality wasn't something I ever really struggled with because sex just isn't important to me or anyone around me. While some wouldn't understand, it did help that I have a sister that's also asexual so I wasn't alone. The trouble, I guess, was in high school with the dude who trashtalked my sister since he made lots of sexual jokes. But overall, I never really struggled with it and nobody really knows in real life except for my sister.

[StarHeart333 1,775]

1 hour ago, hanguangjun said:

Oh, asexuality wasn't something I ever really struggled with because sex just isn't important to me or anyone around me. While some wouldn't understand, it did help that I have a sister that's also asexual so I wasn't alone. The trouble, I guess, was in high school with the dude who trashtalked my sister since he made lots of sexual jokes. But overall, I never really struggled with it and nobody really knows in real life except for my sister.

Well that's good. Wish I could say my journey was as easily done but I had alot of struggle, self doubts, denial etc before accepting who U was.

Not sexual identity but similar.

[hanguangjun 44]

5 hours ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

Well that's good. Wish I could say my journey was as easily done but I had alot of struggle, self doubts, denial etc before accepting who U was.

Not sexual identity but similar.

Ah, struggling, self doubt, denial, etc. always suck. It's great that you've accepted who you are now and I wish you all the best in life ^ _ ^

[Lnx1ynight16 1,936]

I consider myself to be lgbt+ I just don’t know what sexuality I am. I do support the lgbt+ community! <3

Edited June 29, 2024 by Lnx1ynight16