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SCENARIO: You've decided to create your own chaos in Equestria!


MallaJong1

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You've materialized in Equestria as a human. You are on a rampage, set on creating chaos. If you had to do AT LEAST one thing in Equestria to ensure this reckoning, what would you do?

 

Me?

 

I'd materialize in the Canterlot Castle and punch Celestia square in that Horse Face of hers. ONE-HIT KO.

 

(Calm down, people. This is all just randomness.)

 

So give me your best shot, what would you do?!

 

For example:

 

There was once a man named John.

 

This man took pleasure in teleporting to different worlds and wreaking havoc upon the residents inhabiting them. After having teleported back to his home planet and current base of operations, Earth, John slumped lazily on his couch and grabbed the remote control to his flat screen. He flipped through the network channels with no apparent viewing goal, sighing to himself at the lack of entertainment screened. That was until John stumbled upon the Hub Network, for the brilliantly technicolor masterpiece My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic provided a scene quite amusing. John had never heard mention of this particular show before, but he soon realized how much he had been missing after having completed two full seasons. Four days had gone by as John planned for his arrival to the fictional land of Equestria. When John was finally ready to depart for Ponyville, John stripped himself buck naked and counted down from three to one.

 

"Three..." John breathed in.

 

"Two..." John breathed out.

 

With a wicked grin. "One..."

 

And *poof* John was gone. What was left was John's television playing an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Its screen displayed Pinkie Pie in the middle of her "Smile" song.

 

******************************************************************************************************************

Come on and smile! Come on and smile! Come on and-

 

"Smile!" John suddenly *poofed* above Cranky Doodle Donkey and canon-balled onto the poor mule, crushing him under his weight.

 

Pinkie Pie froze, a preregistered smile already plastered on her face. Though inside the pink pony was pure shock and confusion. Some kind of creature instantaneously materialized and seemed to be suffocating Cranky Doodle Donkey. The mule definitely was not smiling. His eyes were beginning to pop out of his sockets.

 

"Heya, there, Pinkie Pie! Wanna party like it's Nineteen-ninety-nine?" John's smile widened even further.

 

"P-p-party?" Pinkie Pie stammered, utterly bewildered.

 

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, don't tell me this little guy here is scaring you?" John looked down with a smirk.

 

Whether he was referring to his limping appendage or the convulsing donkey he was sitting on Pinkie was unsure of. What she did know, though, was to get the thing off of her new to-be friend.

 

"Here, let me take care of this for you." John reached down and took hold of the donkey's neck. He then forcefully twisted it until he heard a sharp *crack*.

 

The donkey's eyes soon turned lifeless.

 

John released Cranky's head and looked straight into Pinkie Pie's horrified countenance.

 

"Why aren't you smiling, Pinkie Pie? Huh?! Why aren't you giving me a SMILE-SMILE-SMILE?!" John shrieked into Pinkie Pie's gaping visage.

 

And *slap* goes John's open palm to Pinkie Pie's face. The dumbfounded pony flew back and crashed into an unsuspecting Lyra Heartstrings.

 

Bon Bon, who had been chatting with Lyra Heartstrings as they walked through the town, screamed, alerting the other ponies of the scene before her.

 

"Your voice is just really annoying, Bon Bon, did'ja know that? You and your voices! You sounded so lovely in Green Isn't Your Color but then turned into a tramp in Lesson Zero!" John pounced atop the terrified pony. "Time to change it again, don't ya think?"

 

John speared his right hand straight down Bon Bon's throat. He dug his dirty nails deep into the choking pony's esophagus, tearing the malleable tissue with a tight squeeze.

 

"What's wrong, Bon Bon? JOHN got your tongue?" John chortled in a heave, looking up to address the crowd of surrounding ponies. "And what are y'all looking at? Hasn't anypony told you it's rude to stare?"

 

John successfully ripped out Bon Bon's torn digestive organ as he jumped towards a nearby Berry Punch. The paralyzed pony cringed in pain as the bloody esophagus of her writhing friend coiled tightly around her neck. John pulled the two ends of the esophagus while kicking the purple pony to the dirt.

 

"I'm parched! Maybe a bit of PUNCH..." On cue John punched the strangled Berry in the eye, bringing the innocent pony into a state of unconsciousness. "Will quench the thirst!"

 

John laughed hysterically at his own pun, finally releasing Berry Punch to lie flat on her bruising face.

 

"Aren't I just 'PUNNY?!'" John pranced around the screaming ponies while fist-pumping the air.

 

"Why would you do that?!" Wailed a trembling Pinkie Pie, her candy-colored mane becoming even more frazzled.

 

"What's going on?" Colgate, ignorant of the chaotic events occurring, trotted up to find a tall, salmon-skinned being bouncing giddily across the dirt roads.

 

Spotting the periwinkle-maned mare, John almost tripped as he quickly scurried up to her location.

 

"Yo, Colgate, let me ask ya something!" John pressed his face against the pony's snout. "Is there something in my TEETH?!"

 

At that, John shot open his jaws, displaying his yellowing, cavity-filled choppers. He exhaled into Colgate's nostrils, strongly intensifying the stench produced from his unwashed mouth. Saliva dribbled down his chin as a thick loogie smacked the pony in the eye. Colgate cringed at the grotesque image in front of her, but the smell...

 

"That smell!" Colgate hollered at John. "What's happening? What are you?"

 

John muffled darkly. "I'm Equestria's reckoning."

 

And *chomp* goes John's teeth. As he busily chewed on Colgate's searing flank, John eyed the unicorn's hourglass cutie mark.

 

"Why do you even have the same cutie mark as Doctor Whooves, anyway?" John spat out the reddened flank of an agonized Colgate. "What are you, his sister or something? But that doesn't make any sense!"

 

John started kicking the pony repeatedly. Each kick was given more and more strength.

 

"Why didn't you have a horn in the Winter Wrap Up episode, huh?! What's up with that? Did you magic it away?!"

 

The grunts of the beaten pony eventually faded into silence. An immediate array of cries and pleas for salvation from the crowd of panicking ponies created a cacophony of instability.

 

"Stop that right now, you bully!" Pinkie Pie raced forward, a look of desperation on her face.

 

"Oh, now you want to party? Let's start with a game! My serve!" With all his might, John kicked the blacked-out Colgate like a soccer ball, aiming for the pink pony.

 

Pinkie Pie opened up her arms to catch the flying unicorn, but the weight of the flying pony proved too much for her as she crashed to the ground.

 

"That's a penalty, Pinkie Pie! No HOOVES allowed!" John yelled.

 

"Halt, fiend! You're under arrest!" Two royal guards appeared out of the fray.

 

"Time out, my little pony!" John shouted to a groaning Pinkie Pie. "I've gotta hit the HAY!"

 

The royal guards hot on his heels, John dashed in a random direction and laughed maniacally at his own puns.

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1,free discord 2.destroy the elements 3.send celestial and luna to the sun 4.make a force fled around Equestria so no pony can leave

5.relax

 

Sounds like a plan. Just have Discord do all the dirty work and laugh in the back. Mwahahahaha! And then a nice book to relax with.

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Checklist:

Replace Celestia with Trollestia.

Replace Luna with Trolluna.

Send Celestia and Luna to the sun.

Free Discord.

Get Discord to make it rain chocolate rain forever.

Set up giant screens everywhere.

Play Tobuscus, Pewdiepie and Uberhaxornova's rage videos over them.

Make a giant bedrock textured as glass box around Equestria.

Cover the top with reinforced glass.

Kick back in the castle while playing video games.

Laugh.

  • Brohoof 1

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Rule 69 all up in this mofo. Also I would make sure all the gaurds are mmmmmbitches who like mmmmbananas. Finally I would set up Pinkie and Discord on a blind date, literally, they would not be allowed to see each other until the date is over.

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Checklist:

Replace Celestia with Trollestia.

Replace Luna with Trolluna.

Send Celestia and Luna to the sun.

Free Discord.

Get Discord to make it rain chocolate rain forever.

Set up giant screens everywhere.

Play Tobuscus, Pewdiepie and Uberhaxornova's rage videos over them.

Make a giant bedrock textured as glass box around Equestria.

Cover the top with reinforced glass.

Kick back in the castle while playing video games.

Laugh.

 

I think they would lose their sense of hearing do to how many times pewdie says "BARRELS" and was the "reinforced glass" a reference from?


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I think they would lose their sense of hearing do to how many times pewdie says "BARRELS" and was the "reinforced glass" a reference from?

 

Reinforced glass is a reference from.... uhhhh Tekkit. (minecraft mod) It's basically much stronger glass, made with obsidian.

And yes, they would probably lose their minds or become bros from listening to Pewdie yelling "BARRELS!!! What are you doing here?" and "NOOOO!!! STEPHANO!"


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1. Tie 10-12 ponies to metal tables.

2. Waterboard them.

3. Let dry for fifteen minutes.

4. Stab each pony in the abdomen with an ax

5. Swirl axe in circular motion.

6. Beat until a fine whip.

7. Spread large tub of vibrant whips on top of pies.

8. Sell dream pies to little fillies and colts.

9. Repeat until population is thoroughly freaked out.

10. Once freaked out, light the ponies on fire.

11. Watch scrambling ponies set everything on fire.

12. Listen to air raid sirens.

13. Watch the chaos unfold.

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Phase One: Raise Discord

First i'll gain my trust with the princesses. Next i'll raise a small army, maybe some sort of cult. Then at the next Gala I'll plan to raise discord back. My cult will attack the palace during the gala as a distraction. Then i'll bring discord back and he shall reign chaos. I'll have the two sisters turned to stone.

 

Phase Two: The new God of Chaos

I'll let Discord have his fun. Let him have his chocolate rain and stuff. I'll destroy the elements of harmony and convince Discord to create the elements of disharmony, to ensure his reign shall be forever. But it isn't. I'll use the elements on him and kill him in the process. And i'll do it publicly. I'll then take my place as God of Chaos. And i'll also rid of the stupid sun and the moon too.

 

Phase Three: Ruler of Equestria

I'll then use my powers to create armys and armys. I'll then attack all of Equestria. I'll make Canterlot my palace and i'll rule with and iron fist! Cities will burn, ponies will be slaughtered! Glorious!! And i'll watch it all unfold from my throne. With the princess statues at my side... maybe i should turn them in candles?

 

Phase Four: True Chaos

By why stop with Equestria? I shall rage war across the whole world! Destruction! death! All their homes burnt to the ground!! They will all be killed and enslaved! I shall rule the world!! No one will be able to stop me! For that IS TRUE CHAOS!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

 

Phase 5: Laugh Even More

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

 

Yes i am insane.

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What in the fu...??

 

Why would you want to create chaos in Equestria?

Anyway,

 

I would probably unleash Discord, as he has proven to be pretty good at chaos himself.

 

OH! I know! Give everpony an xbox and MW3 and have them play Chaos mode for 24 hours straight! >:D


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I would buy a sword and go slay spike. Then I could actually be called a dragon slayer. Or even better go defeat a full grown dragon, ride it into ponyville and have the dragon BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND. then with my dragon beneath me and my sword in hand I would challenge Celestia to a duel and If I win I get to do whatever I want with Luna :) <3

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Deliver a bullet to the leaders heads such as twilight, celestia, mayor, luna and who ever else would think rationally about war.

with some sniper.

 

lie to spike about twilight hating him and using him and what ever makes him mad so he will become a massive ball of hatred and grow up to kill and destroy.

 

Drop a bombshell (nuke.) on one of the civilizations in equestria, blame it on some other town that didn't do it. Supply the ponies with weapons (guns, missiles, planes, etc) and watch the war begin.

When equestria is nothing but sheer gray dry ashes, stand on top of the tallest pile of ash and laugh maniacally.

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First, release Discord(by arguing with myself by the statue)

Second, ask him to change to his human form.

Third, say that the ponies are a barbaric race and that he should put Twilight on trial for them.

Fourth, if they get the guilty verdict, eliminate them!

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Sneak into sweet apple acres and tape the bucked apples I can find back on the trees.

 

Pretend to be a stupid animal, get Fluttershy to think I'm sick, getting her to look after me, mess with her for a while, then say good bye and walk away.

 

Use a powerful laser pointer to set fire to Twilight's letters before spike sends them.

 

Clip Rainbow Dash's wings while she sleeps.

 

Mail an order for 50 suits from Rarity, then refuse to pay as they can't fit me, being human.

 

Have a long, public conversation with Pinkie about the fourth wall, making every pony in earshot have a existential meltdown.

 

Cut Princess Celestia's hair and see if it is still wavy after being detached from her head.

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First off, I'd trap Celestia and Luna... somehow, but it'll happen.

 

Once they're out of the way, my essential plan is turn to Canterlot into the biggest non-stop, 24 hour heavy metal concert. Then after I've established my dominance in Canterlot and hurting everyone's ears, I'll move on to another big city like Manehatten, create another non-stop metal concert (Death Metal this time - fancy ponies just LOVE Death Metal! ;) ) and move on when they simply can't handle it and start running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

 

And all of this will be lead by the pony in my avatar.


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probably have some kinky bdsm with celestia

 

something of the sort

 

probably ask discord to make cotton candy chocolate rain because it has no artificial color or preservatives.


S.V.R. Stop. Violent. Recreation,

I know it's tuff but let's all try to stop playing violent videogames, violent TV, violent thinking, and just violence in general.

 

Put "SVR" in your signature if you support Stop Violent Recreation!

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First off, I'd trap Celestia and Luna... somehow, but it'll happen.

 

Once they're out of the way, my essential plan is turn to Canterlot into the biggest non-stop, 24 hour heavy metal concert. Then after I've established my dominance in Canterlot and hurting everyone's ears, I'll move on to another big city like Manehatten, create another non-stop metal concert (Death Metal this time - fancy ponies just LOVE Death Metal! ;) ) and move on when they simply can't handle it and start running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

 

And all of this will be lead by the pony in my avatar.

 

What about Black Metal?

 

Anyways, here my devious moon-manipulation plan:

-Destroy the moon, so Celestia couldn't banish me there

-Make a new moon, one that will fall on equestria in three days (I just love majora's mask so much)

-Have a designated evacuation spot for everypony to go to.

-Trap all of them there, and cast a spell on them that will make them be my servants

-when the moon is about to fall, destroy it, so it's not longer a threat.

-Sit back and relax

 

And all of this was accomplished with the power of marejora's mask.

 

See what I did there?

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