Age

[Fghik 360]

You do not know how hard it is to type this without feeling like a pedophile...

 

 

In listening to 'relationships' and their problems, I've always been plagued with how big of an age difference is appropriate. At school, people always think it odd to see a sophomore and a senior together; and yet once I think of it, it's only a two year difference. Heck, most parents I know are around four or five years apart (that means in one of their senior years--12--their spouse was somewhere around 8th grade!) And yet all the time, I am eavesdrop into conversations now and again to the like of "did you see that senior and sophomore?" or "Seniorname and Sophomorename are going to prom" or similar in some sort of condescending tone, as if those two years make the senior a sick pervert or something.

 

Let's say hypothetically (totally legit,) there was this senior (me.) And he may or may not (oh he so does) have a bit of a crush on a sophomore girl he ran into somewhere and became best-friends with. Entirely unaware how she feels for him (it's pretty obvious she feels somewhat similar,) this senior is left to wonder if two years is really too much; seeing as how in the real world happy and non-creepy relationships can spread out even further than six years? Now obviously there needs to be precaution with gaps such as the ages of 15 to a 21 year old (six years,) but it has worked quite a few times, just as equal aged couples are. This hypothetical senior (in case you forgot, that was me) may already have a date lined up but this two-year thing is really throwing him off.

 

I guess what I'm trying to get at is how big an age difference is too big? I'm not talking age difference for anything gross or inappropriate; but more along the lines of going out for ice-cream, catching a movie or two, or dominating monopoly. Of course with any decision people will be judgmental, but I want to know what you guys think; seeing as this community is all about loving and tolerating all sorts of folk. Even weirdos like myself.

[Retro*Derpy 3,197]

I have a Great uncle and aunt that are 17 YEARS apart and they been married for 22 years... So as long as the relationship is faithful i see nothing wrong.

[morethanicecream 116]

I don't think it is bad. I mean, it is a 2 year difference. Maybe a 6 or 7 year difference is totally unaceptable (as in a 6th grader was dating a 6th grader. Out of school, a little bit different, but not that bad. It isn't like a 10 or 20 year difference

Edited March 7, 2013 by Artemis

[PlunderSteed 1,252]

As I type this, somebody else is probably beating me to it. Anyways: be careful that the age gap doesn't land you two on opposite sides of the age of consent wherever you live. Even if your relationship isn't intimate on that level, allegations to the contrary can ruin you.

Edited March 7, 2013 by Artemis

[FordFan99 9]

I guess if it's not a huge gap it's not a big deal. As long as you both are okay with it then there's not much of an issue. You just need to make sure her parents would be alright with it.

[XUNUSEDXXX 3,459]

as you get older, it gets "less weird" to most people when the age gap is bigger. like a 5 year difference is different from a 40 to 45 year old vs a 10 year old with a 15 year old because of the maturity factor.

[AnonBrony 1,468]

i don't see much wrong with it. Other people however might deem its odd. idk why. I guess since u still teenagers. As for age difference, it depends how old u are really. Like if ur still in high school, i would say a little more than a couple years, but when ur really old u could date anyone as long as they arn't young. For me i wouldn't date anyone thats a couple years off from me 'till im in my thirtys. But by then i should already have a wife.

Also shouldn't this be in the life advice section? Cuz u seems like u are in a conudrum and need some real advice.

[John 793]

This does NOT make you a pedophile. Now if you liked say a sixth grader, that would be pedophilia then.

[spaghettinoodles 298]

When it comes to teenagers, I think 4 years becomes too big of an age difference. That's just my opinion. It would be creepy if a 14 year old was dating an 18 year old, because some 14 year olds are still in middle school, but a 16 or 17 year old dating an 18 year old is less weird to me since they're in high school, older, and more close to adulthood. However, if two adults are dating, there isn't such a thing as too big of an age gap, as long as the younger adult is actually mature.

Edited August 20, 2012 by spaghettinoodles

[WittyReference 18]

Like Spaghettinoodles said the relevance of an age gap lessens as you get older. But even in your teens a two year age gap is virtually nothing. Even if it was a more physical relationship most people wouldn't look down on it. I think if it's a non-physical relationship the age gap can be slightly larger. Things could be worse.You could be me. I personally fancy someone almost 5 years younger than me. I'm like the gold medal winner of the pedolympics here except not really because I don't like him in a perverted way more of just a I want to kiss his face way.

Edited August 21, 2012 by WittyReference

[Heart's Desire 181]

It really is specific to the actual couple at that age. Since everyone matures at a different rate you could have a 14 year old who is closer to a 16 year old, or more like a 12 year old depending on their current maturity level.

 

Once you're in your late twenties or thirties it doesn't matter as much because you've already passed that whole varying maturity level thing. Unfortunately that means comparing young relationships to those of older people really doesn't equate.

 

However, that being said, it depends on the two of you. When I hit junior high my mother set a limit for me that I wasn't to date any guys more than two years older/younger than me. For the most part I think that was a reasonable rule, though my first kiss was actually my brother's best friend who was 18 and I was 14. I don't think there was anything weird about that at all because regardless of the numbers we were very close to each other in our actual maturity levels.

 

So I guess my point is if you can hang out together and it doesn't feel like you're years apart then it's probably fine.

Edited August 21, 2012 by MoonFeather

[Valureon 93]

I thought the half your age + 7 was a good measure for age differnce in realationships, starting at the age of 16.... For example if you are 40 its ok to date someone 27 (But obviously this isn't a perfect system.... its just to give a basic idea). but the basic idea is that the older you get the bigger the age difference can be....

But once again it isnt a perfect system and personally.... I think as long as two people love each other it shouldn't really matter what age they are.... Unless is is something really silly... like 30 years or something crazy like that.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Valureon

[Pegasistersincethe80s 126]

When I was 18, I dated a man 20 years my senior.. That's right, he was old enough to be my father.

 

The problems with that particular relationship:

 

He had 2 kids, the oldest one was only 6 years younger than me. (I was more like his kids than I was him)

 

He wanted to remarry and settle back into the domestic life (I was 18, I wanted to play and explore life for a while)

 

He'd get mad when I acted my age (Like I'm supposed to suddenly grow up?)

 

 

 

With that said, I say that if you are both mature adults (or same errr, generation for lack of better word), age should not be a factor.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Pegasistersincethe80s

[Shiki 5,856]

I say that if something like the person's age is really getting in your way from dating them, you aren't ready to be dating. I don't like the way relationships are dealt with these days. They seem to be taken too lightly, and I just don't like it. Dating is for trying to find a life-long partner, not just for playtime, and with how easily people just go and accept people as their newly found "love of their life"... it's just weird to me. People don't really seem to look at the person inside as they do just the person anymore. They're always too worried about what they look like, how old they are, what sex they are, what religion they are, silly things like that (I call them silly because my values are just different (felt the need to say that)). If any two people truly are fond of each other enough to where they want to get together, something like age shouldn't even be considered an obstacle.

 

 

Disclaimer: I've never dated. I know nothing about love. lulz

 

[TheFabulousPony 102]

When its between younger people, then it becomes a problem because at that age is one party is say 14 and the other is 17, on is already very developed and the other is not... but that age gap when you are older doesn't matter because both partys are adults and (at that age) both mature..

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

Arylett must post in this topic. If you know of my relationship, you would've seen this coming. (If not, well, I'll explain more bellow.)

 

Two years? Bah! That's nothing. You're seriously worrying about people talking like this? The people around you must get their undies in a bunch about even the littlest thing! Then again, I suppose that's how high school is sometimes. People sticking their noses in stuff. Scandal about sophmores dating seniors and stuff. When you're younger, age can seem like such a big difference because of the gaps in maturity and how young people change more quickly than adults, I suppose.

 

Still, really, two years is nothing. It's not pedophilia, and it doesn't sound anywhere near it. You're both teenagers, and you're both in school. I don't see the problem in a relationship with an age difference as long as both parties like each other, and are of similar maturity. (Which age doesn't indicate sometimes.)

 

For instance, I'm in a relationship that has a whopping five year difference. I'm 20, and my boyfriend is 16. I get a little flack for this, be honestly? Neither of us cares. It is a mutual endeavor, there is consent between both parties, and he is mature enough to date me. And I for him because I have a lower maturity than most people my age. (I act more like I'm 16 than anything.) If I had let a little thing like age stop me, I wouldn't have been the happiest I've been in my entire life. It's not really the same as an adult dating a child. I only just got out of teenhood, and I'm still really a teenager in the brain. He's a teenager too.

 

It's not the age that matters, but rather, the differences in maturity that can throw off a relationship. Most of the time, in the general populace, age can be used as an overall measure of where a person is in their lives and their maturity. But there will always be outliers.

 

Two years, it's two teenagers, it works out nicely. Maturities are probably similar, and so are your places in life. It doesn't really matter. So I say, go for it.

[nonee 130]

In my experience it really has to do mostly with what her parents will accept. When I was a senior in highschool I was dating a freshman (that being a 4 year difference) and no one really thought any less of me for it. She was a really awesome person and I didn't care about the age difference. Just like everyone else is saying 2 years is nothing so don't worry about it!

[Lex 33]

I don't think it matters, as long as it's legal and one isn't taking advantage of the other. I'm still waiting for Michael Fassbender to realise his undying love for me. He's 18 years my senior but who cares, he's fucking gorgeous. One day he'll love me. One day...

[Demiurge 108]

I think age difference only matters at younger ages. Say in school the age difference should be no greater than 2-3 years.

As you get older though the age difference starts being of smaller importance. Like other people have said, it also depends on the people and how mature they are compared to each other.

[Cocodrillo 1,565]

2 years are really nothing. Look at my auntie & uncle - gap of 15 years.

Well, my beloved one is 1 year and 2 months older than me, so it´s actually funny when it comes to his birthday and I always say "Omg, you´re 2 years older than me!", but I say it just for fun. 2 years are really not a big deal. Actually, girls are mentally 2 years before guys so it´s more than okay.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Suntouched Coco

[Mirad 217]

There's really nothing wrong with the S&S combo, but age doesnt matter at all, reallly. Just stay above the 14-years limit, no children allowed.

Beyond the point, I've been dating a 14-year-old since I turned 14. No, not a year older than me, but not younger, either. We arein the same grade.

[Princess Ariona 402]

I think it only counts when one of them is not adult while another one is. If a girl is 18 or higher she can even go with a 50 years old man if they really love each other (yea believe me I saw many such couples), it doesn't matter anymore since both the sides are adult, it's their own business. But if a girl is not adult yet and she's with an adult guy, as long as this relationship will not include anything sexual I don't think that her parents, friends or anyone else should care about it either but since they care about their daughter/friend you can't do anything about it.

 

If there is only 2 years difference then those who are like " Oh MAN! Look at that! They are really sick! " are just attention whoring and trying to show off as they are better than you. Just don't care about them, if you will stop reacting on any of such comments, they will shut it and get bored because you are not paying any attention anymore.

[碇 シンジン 27,434]

I dont really think age is a factor in relationships however it should be noted that it is preferrable to be above 17-18 average as before that  everything might not yet have developed fully and you might not really know who you really are or what you are looking for. 

[The Recherche 29,969]

In friendships, I don't see any issues with age differences at all~! While we're all attracted to our peers, I have a couple of friends who are a bit older than me, I enjoy their company quite a lot~! 

In romance, as long as the two individuals are consenting adults, I don't personally see the problem. When either of those two criteria are breached, though, that's when problems occur. 

[King of Canterlot 9,603]

My parents are both ten years apart and they had me and my younger brother, so I think that as long as the people in question love each and are at least adults as in above 18 or so, then there's really nothing wrong with it