Anti-joke thread!

[Sanic Screwdriver 345]

Hey everypony! Here is a thread to post all of your anti-jokes you create or find. I hope that this is the right place to post this.

 

 

My anti-jokes I found: (These are not to be taken offensively and I apologize if I or anyone else makes a joke that upsets you.)

 

1. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? 

Because he was hit by a bus.

 

2. An Irishman walks out of a bar. (I'm part Irish)

 

3.How do you confuse a blond? 

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

 

4. How do you make a plumber cry?

Kill his family.

Edited March 10, 2013 by Artemis
added tags

[Retro*Derpy 3,374]

[Acoustic Cloud 2,202]

1. How do you make a baby stop crying?

Hit it with a brick.

 

2. Timmy has 20 candy bars and he ate them all, what does timmy have?

Diabetes...

 

 

EDIT:

Did you hear that joke about the def guy?

Neither did he.

 

-Knock knock

Who's there

-with

with who?

-Whom....

Edited February 12, 2013 by Rainbow Dashey

[Toa of Ponies 259]

Me: So I went to My brothers house

Adudience: Yeah,and...

Me: I KILLED HIM HAHAHA

[Sanic Screwdriver 345]

1. Why did suzie fall of the swing?She had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

 

2. Where did Sally go when there was a bombing?

Everywhere.

 

3. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Dying.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,837]

Why did the Leper get back in the shower?

 

He forgot his Head and Shoulders.

[Betez 1,735]

Lol what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it.

 

You're never gonna guess: The holocaust.

 

Badum-tish

[Harmonic Revelations 8,837]

Lol what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it.

 

You're never gonna guess: The holocaust.

 

Badum-tish

What do you call a leper taking a bath?

 

Soup.

 

Why couldn't the hospital patient feel his legs?

 

They were cut off.

Edited February 13, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[MelancholicMemory 2,027]

How do you fit a baby in a bucket?

Blender.

 

How do you get him out?

Tortilla chips

[Kyubey 60]

A boy at a party goes to get some punch.

 

No one is standing there, so he doesn't have to wait.

 

There is no punch line.

Edited February 14, 2013 by Kyubey

[Champion RD92 8,658]

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? 
Because he was hit by a bus.

 

 

Knock knock. 
Who's there? 
To. 
To who? 
To whom.

 

 

How do you confuse a blond? 
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

 

 

Why was six afraid of seven? 
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

 

 

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? 
we are both lawyers

Edited March 10, 2013 by Champion RD92

[Soundgarden 2,758]

This is a job for anti joke chicken! This one is the best by far

 

[Champion RD92 8,658]

This is a job for anti joke chicken! This one is the best by far

 

 

oh yeah i've seen that meme before lol XD

[Titan Rising 2,156]

Why did the bar walk into the mailman?

Cause the rooster crossed the road

 

Winning.

[Jokuc 8,174]

This thread is confusing and I'm not sure if I understand what's supposed to be funny..

 

And that's why I made up this :DDD

 

Why am I not a turtle?

 

 

Because my shell is purple

 

 

[Alleviate 342]

Oh, I love this style! It's so my randomness!

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Twas a turkey!

[Creamy Arty 6,252]

@Champion RD92

 

 

I merged your thread with an identical one. Use the search before starting a new thread to make sure it doesn't already exist.

[Nohbdy 4,108]

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

[~Vallo~ 410]

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

 

He was hit by a bus.

 

------------------------------------------

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Get in the van

 

------------------------------------------

 

What's green and has wheels?

 

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

 

------------------------------------------

 

A man walks into a bar.

 

He's a raging alcoholic and his family is worried about him.

 

------------------------------------------

 

Yo mama's so fat that she should be concerned about cardiovascular complications.

 

------------------------------------------

 

How do you get a clown off of a swing?

 

You hit him with a baseball bat.

 

------------------------------------------

 

Why did the man fall down the stairs?

 

Someone threw a refrigerator at him.

 

------------------------------------------

 

Man, these jokes are horrible .

Edited July 28, 2013 by ~Vallo~

[Retro*Derpy 3,374]

What do you call a Black guy jumping from an airplane?

 

 

A skydiver.

 

[Rolls Royce 606]

What's black, white, and red all over?

A zebra that got shot.

 

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because you need muscle to be able to move, and at least stand up, so the skeleton would be a pile of bones on the sidewalk.  Also, skeletons are dead.

[Vinyl Rave 67]

What do you call a virgin that got by a bus.

 

Dead. Or a virgin that got hit by a bus.

[Smarts 1,626]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Tom

Tom who?

Tom then proceeded to cry because his grandmother's Aspergers had got so bad that she didn't even remember her own grandson.

[Skye42 59]

A chicken walks up to you and says, "Don't listen to the chickens, they always lie."
So do you think the statement is true? Or False?

 

 

 

 

Neither. Chickens can't talk.

[Betez 1,735]

I actually thought of one

 

What did the junkie say to the other junkie?

 

Nothing, because he just overdosed