Is it stupid to fall in love over the internet?

[Twinhead B 482]

I've always preferred the warmth of human interaction over the cold, heartless mass of machinery known as the internet. So, I don't really feel like "internet-dating" is real dating, but that's just me. Face to face interaction is spontaneous and real, while internet interaction always felt cold and calculated to me.

 

It's also worth mentioning that I have extreme trust issues and hate just about everyone due to a past relationship, so my opinion may be a little skewed.

[Lunas Husband 2,777]

Not stupid at all in my book.. if that means anything at all anyway.

 

Love is love. That's the funny thing about love... We don't get to choose who we love. love dose that for us.

 

But I'm dating someone over the forums.. I love him a great deal! sure I may never meet him or anything like that but dose not stop me from loving him.. and wanting to do everything I can for him.

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

I can understand how to some it is stupid, maybe those are the people that tend to get out more and had more success on a physical meet to meet bases.

 

However that doesn't mean falling in love online is stupid when it happends. I'm an example of that. I met my fiance through an online video game. After about a month we became friends, after a year we became great friends. We took it to the next level by him flying to see me. The fact he flew from Germany, all the way to USA to meet someone he only knew from pictures (that could have been fake) to a country he never been to, to see me, to make this work...can you imagine? But thats what happened, we fell in love when we first physically met each other. Now we are living together nearly 4yrs later after we met, 5yrs in Jan to be accurate. All because we met online, on the net... It ain't stupid to me or him hehe.

[Arkane 270]

 

I'll let the video speak for itself.

[Dsanders 5,747]

No, it's not stupid at all.

 

Really when you think about it, love doesn't necessarily have to be physical; love can exist in any kind of medium and any spectrum of communication and interaction with a significant other.

 

Relationship is literally defined as being "the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected."

 

It says nothing about being actually physical or being in the same location as the other person. As long as you have connection one way or another, the relationship in question has potential. Does this mean that all internet relationships are doomed to remain only and forever platonic? No, not at all. If it true love and real commitment that the "internet couple" share, then eventually, one way or another, they will come to meet each other in real life someday, and who knows what will happen after that. Now whether or not the relationship will actually last and make it to becoming IRL will depend on how serious, dedicated, and loyal the two romantic partners in the relationship are.

 

That being said, it really depends and varies from individual to individual. Some can handle it and be content with just having some time to chat and communicate with the other special person. For others, the distance would be unbearable.

 

As for me, I met my girlfriend on here in June of this year. With December coming up in like a couple days, I'd say it's been around 6 months that I've known her for. We started out as just causal friends, chatting every now and then, making simple small talk and nothing more. However, over the course of the summer, as we started talking more often, and eventually having tremendously long conversations lasting from the early morning to like 4 in the morning the day after, we really got to know a whole lot more about each other. We began to realize that we shared a ton in common, and that we can relate to each other in a number of ways. Along with that, our trust in each other grew immensely along with our care and concern for one another.

 

It wasn't long until we've come to a point where we were really emotionally close and developed a harder than diamond bond with each other. That's when I realized, I was in love with her.   So a few more weeks after that, after contemplating heavily on whether or not I should ask her out, I made up my mind and I asked her out one faithful night. She admitted to me that she felt that same way and happily said yes. By December 13th, it will be our three month anniversary.

 

So it just goes to show, love has no limits. We live over two thousand miles away from each other, she's limited to only getting on here 2-3 hours per day, and now we only exchange 1-2 messages per day or every other day. Does that stop us? No, not really. Of course we struggle, but hey, like with anything in life, a relationship would be no fun if we never had any challenges to overcome.

 

It's kinda crazy to consider all that too, since I know some other friends in online relationships who would just 'die' if they were in my shoes. So I have to admit, I was extremely lucky to have met her and chat with her when she used to be super active on here.

 

TL;DR: Love, regardless of shape, form, or in whatever manner it thrives and exist, is never stupid to feel.

 

Damn, I ramble a lot when it comes to talking about my relationship..  

[789456123 23]

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Edited September 26, 2018 by Infrared
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[Smarts 1,622]

I say it isn't stupid. Love is love after all. Falling in love with someone over the internet isn't as crazy as it seems. The internet is filled with people. Who knows, maybe your special someone that you can't find in real life is somewhere on the internet. You just have to be careful is all. But hey, what do I know about this subject?

Edited November 30, 2013 by SmartyPants

[Paper Lanterns 53]

Love is love. I have some friends that have had successful relationships over the web. Dating this way can be a bit more difficult, yes. It doesn't always work out but in my opinion that happens to every relationship. Be it internet or face to face. I sorta know from experience and I strongly advise you to be careful, just in case. (Not trying to scare you I am just super paranoid about stuff QuQ)

[TwiliciousAlkoi 369]

I actually dont find it stupid or anything. My friends hardly see me so I chat with my internet friends and internet loved one to just express my feelings and such

[Moonlight 7,286]

I don't believe it's stupid as long as the two lovers actually meet up in real life in the future. It can't be 100% internet based. Just depends if the partners want to work at maintaining a relationship, especially when things like trust and distance are both issues. As long as you're being serious about it, it could work.

[Guest]

Since I'm in a long distance relationship, I'm going to give my opinion on this because I feel so strongly about it.

 

"Stupid"? NO. First of all, falling in love online wasn't ideal for me, but it happened. You can't help who you have feelings for and if they other person feels the same way, I say give it a shot. It requires patience. But if things work out long enough, then you can always try to be together in real life. It really depends on how far you're willing to go. I could have dating MULTIPLE people IRL but I was already in love with my Canadian boyfriend. I don't regret it at all. We're planning a future together.

 

Do what feels right and what makes you happy. That's all you really need.

[Cygnus 60]

Who cares if it's stupid or not? When you ask questions like these you'll get an ocean of conflicting personal opinions, none of which are really going to affect the situation between you and yours.

 

Save money. Make trips. Plan. Make it offline. I know several people who've done this and are currently living together or married, but they were all college or post-college.

[CrystalRose 636]

I met my special somepony online. We started talking on a Guns n Roses forum and later met up at one of the concerts. We've been together seven years now and plan to get married.

[Malinter 3,064]

Stupid? No.

Risker? Yes

Harder? Yes.

[Skylar 1,641]

In my opinion it's not stupid at all, you can voice chat / cam chat over Skype, that person is still going to be the same in real life, personally for me, I see no problem in it  

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

Well I do have a sad...kinda bully story to share but it has a point to this topic.

 

During one of my prequisite classes (aka a class I had to take to get on my degree plan of my wanted classes) known as Communications (learning how to speak and communicate in every means), a debate was brought up about which is better in starting a relationship, on a physical or online base. Naturally I did actually side with the online base first, and me and my part (which was 3 other classmtes) had to come up with reasons as to why that was.

 

The entire rest of the class sided on the phsyical part, which I couldn't but notice, all seemed pretty shallow. Anyways, I was selected to name out the reasons for my group why we thought meeting online was based.

 

"Lets be honest here, when it comes to online dating and meeting, you want the person you meet, to like who you are as a person first, not for what you look like. Its less intimidating to meet people online then physically because you know they are getting to know you based on your personality alone, not by what you look. Where as with a physical meet, the first thing that plays out for someone is the way they look. You risk getting your heart broken. Online theres very little risk of this and its a matter of patience before an actual physical meet."

 

The reaction to this...was a shock...The entire rest of the class laughed at me and my group. They called it stupid and pointless, that I was a fool for thinking that way, all sorts of insults. You can imagine my teacher's reaction to theirs...she was disgusted and told them to shut it. My points were very well valid. Its a shock some would be like that though. But at least I will have the last laugh, I am happily engaged and with someone, WHO I MET ONLINE SO BOOYA!

Edited December 1, 2013 by Lightning Bliss

[Winterbass 763]

No, it's not stupid at all. Any kind of relationship can stand, whether online or offline. It's not "forever aloney" to do so, unless you tell yourself that the feelings you have for someone are fake. In that case, denying those feelings, now THAT is what I call really stupid. 

 

Anyone telling you otherwise, is pretty much wrong. All types of relationships fail many times, whether they're irl relationships, or just over the internet, I've been witness of that many times already. I mean, I know people who have had 5 partners in the last 3 years. Yet, I know people who have had a relationship online for well over 2 years. Sure, you might not see each other all the time, but that's why you meet up, isn't that what you do with a "real" relationship as well? Yea, thought so.

 

In fact, I have a relationship with a great guy and we spend most of our time over the internet, and we haven't had a bad relationship at all.  We even met online, over a game nonetheless! And you can go all ahead and be really insulting with your "It's not love" and "It never works out!" arguments, but meanwhile most people aren't in a relationship at all, and other people around us have bad relationships that crash harder than an airplane flying into the ground. I guess we can conclude that love isn't something so weak to be blocked by something as the internet.

 

So, in short, relationships die or spark, online or offline. I don't see any problem at all here, but I guess some might want to make a problem out of it, rather than realize there is none to begin with. I do agree with being cautious. But then again, dating isn't something you should do when you're mentally too immature to handle it.

[Wingnut 6,992]

I wouldn’t call it stupid but it is certainly unwise if it happens without a combination of good reason and good sense. When kids are taught to use the Internet, are they being taught to safeguard their feelings in addition to their real names, addresses, etc?  If not, they should be.  But I was out of school by the time Internet access was widely available so I wouldn’t know. 

 

The infatuation/fall in love threshold varies from one person to another.  At one extreme, a few kind words and common interests may be enough to send someone’s heart aflutter.  At the other end are those who can’t fall for anybody outside of real life.  Like anything else, most people fall somewhere between those extremes.  But anybody who finds themselves lurching from one online crush to the next is being naive and they need to manage their feelings better. 

 

Get a picture, chat on a webcam, and do everything possible to simulate a real life situation with them.  Be totally honest about your shortcomings.  Once you meet in person, they’re going to be laid bare anyway.  Visit as often as possible and see how you interact.  Pay special attention to their behavior when they are stressed, angry, etc.  You will have to deal with that full time in a long term relationship. 

 

Nobody is going to say that online is as good as real life.  But written correspondence still says a lot about a person and shouldn’t be entirely dismissed.  I have become very close with a few women over the years through e-mails, chats, etc.  One of them moved across the country to be with me.  That romance ultimately failed but I don’t think the fact that it started online had anything to do with it.  Relationships are hard work and most of them don’t last regardless of how they originate. 

[duidamasterXD 9,627]

Erm, perhaps. Didn't stop me though . On the one hand, it is an undeniably limited and inferior way to conduct a relationship. It's quite easy to conceal aspects of yourself, for one, and it's much easier to lose track of a person as well. Depending on how you communicate, whether through video chatting or just through old fashioned text, it can be harder to convey the span of emotions that you are feeling and have the same air of genuineness that you can have in real life.

 

Though on the other hand, one of the major benefits of the internet is that it allows you to connect with people that you'd otherwise never have had the chance to meet. If it's possible to cast your reach farther, and you find somebody who's extremely special to you, then you'd be in a trickier place, certainly, but perhaps very lucky as well. It's harder to make work for several reasons, but if the connection is there, then I'd do my best to foster and grow it.

[Sweet Dreams 1,893]

I don't think a relationship can really be maintained over the internet. You'd never really get to see each other if you live far away. Besides, everyone could act 'perfect' through messaging, but do you know what they're really like? People don't necessarily act the way they do over the internet in real life, if you decided to meet up.

You should fall in love with someone you can spend your life with, not someone you can skype and message for a while. It just won't work out.

[Wayzer 1,418]

It's not stupid, but (like many probably said before me) there's a certain risk factor. It's so easy to just act completely different on the internet, you can't be sure if somebody you meet over the internet is really the person you think he/she is.

 

But if you feel alright about it, then don't worry. Just know that there's a risk.

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

I think for this topic, for me anyway, at the end of the day, if you find someone you love and you become great together, have a relationship, marriage, what not, it shouldn't matter how it started... what matters is that it DID start in the first place.

[Sabrinie 392]

I don't think it's stupid. While I didn't meet my boyfriend over the internet, I know plenty of people who have met the love of their lives over the computer, and they're some of the happiest people I know. My uncle met his wife over the internet and they've been happily married for ages. 

[Virulence 254]

It's so not stupid. I've met so many wonderful people over the internet. Now to fall in love, it could happen. I'm not against it, but in person you might have more of an attraction rather than on web.

[Homura Akemi 974]

I don't want to use the word "stupid." I met a good friend of mine online and we met in real life 2 years ago. As for love, I'd avoid it. If you like someone who lives really, really far away, it's just gonna hurt a lot. I understand you can't really control your attractions and such, but I would stay away from it as much as you can.