When you can be anypony... who are you?

[MyLittlePonyTales 273]

Chapter 1

I had been in this form for a long time... so long, I almost forgot what I actually looked like. My name is Blackberry Bramble... or Shadow, if you want to go by my old name. I have to tell you a story... It's my story.

 

I was sent by Queen Chrysalis to spy on the ponies of Canterlot. She said it would be easy—I believed her. And it was, at first. We'd pose as somepony's lover, arrange meetings, and then feed off their love for a little while. We had to do this frequently, in order to constantly feed and avoid suspicion. So there was a lot of changing going on.

 

Eventually, Chrysalis developed a more permanent solution. I stalked somepony for awhile, learned their mannerisms... then ambushed them sucked out their life force when the opportunity presented itself.

 

There were a few of us assigned to this task. Chrysalis always took care of the bodies. Then, we'd each pose as the pony we'd gotten rid of, stealing their life—and their love. Some of them even had kids... which just provided more ponies to feed on.

 

So we continued on, feeding off the ponies of Canterlot while Chrysalis hatched her plan. I was her second in command, her most trusted Changeling. Funny how I'm the one that let her down the most.

 

We were all just supposed to follow orders. Mimic the lover for a time while feeding off the love from their family. We were all fine with it. We all trusted Chrysalis. We were loyal followers... it was just orders.

 

But still... I felt incomplete. I was working for the good of the swarm, for the future of our race. I had somepony who loved me, I had 'friends', I had... everything I should have wanted. I should have been happy. Right?

 

Ever since I was born, I had followed orders. That was just the way life was. Always pushing forward for the betterment of all Changelings. I didn't mind following orders, always being told and knowing what to do. That is, until I found out there was more to life.

 

I could make decisions here. Chrysalis wasn't always around to tell me right from wrong, what to do and what not to do, and how to go about things. For once, I had control over my own life. At first, that frightened me. I had discovered individuality.

 

I wasn't just some mindless creature that Chrysalis had made me to believe. I had a personality, my own likes and dislikes. And most of all... I had feelings.

 

We weren't supposed to fall in love. That was never the plan. Just pretend, that was all. Deceive.

 

I felt guilty. I felt guilty for deceiving him. I felt guilty for making him love me. I felt guilty for loving him. If I revealed my true self, it would be a betrayal to my entire family. But if I didn't, I would have to leave him in the dark, wondering where his special somepony went and what he did wrong.

 

I guess I had never felt love before. It was just an emotion that we Changelings had to feed on. A life force provided by a lesser species. But maybe Changelings just fed on ponies... because they were jealous. After all, we shapeshifted into them, stole their lives... and then slowly destroyed them in the name of our existence. Or maybe... that was just me.

 

But he really did love me—even if it wasn't the real me. I felt special, giddy. There was a whole wave of overwhelming emotions that I didn't understand. Even though I was personally tough, he treated me gently, with respect and care. For the first time, I felt bad for taking somepony's place.

 

Before, we'd just do a hit and run. Arrange a date, meet with them, pretend to be their love, feed, and then go on our way. But Chrysalis' plan involved a long term relationship. That was something I was not prepared for.

 

My life became so entwined with hers that I nearly forgot who I was. The lie that I was living consumed me, just as I was slowing consuming him. I guess that's why I tricked myself into thinking that he could love the real me. He already loved me for everything on the inside. The outside shouldn't matter, right?

 

I revealed myself to him one night, and explained as gently as I could that his former mate was gone. But the look of terror on his face was enough to say that he would never accept me for who I was. He screamed at me to get out, throwing any object within reach at me to hurry my pace.

 

I walked the streets alone that night, in my normal—well, my pony form. When I returned the next day, he had offed himself.

 

I ran away. I went to Chrysalis for comfort. She was our queen, and I had always been her second in command and most trusted Changeling. I didn't go to her because I had failed. I was—I was heartbroken. It's a thing that few Changelings ever experience.

 

I'd heard of heartbreak before. It was something that happened to weak Changelings. They became too attached to their host. Once something happened to their “mate”, they generally went insane.

 

I never thought it would happen to me.

 

I had let myself be blind to the truth. We disguised ourselves because nopony could love us in our natural form. I had thought my case was different... as others had in the past. It was a flaw in our design. Some of us were just destined to fall for the one who loved us—or rather, who we tricked ourselves into believing we were.

 

But, just as I had, Chrysalis saw my actions as weak. I was damaged, flawed... she could no longer trust me.

 

However, she was not without mercy. I was simply placed into the rank of pawn, one of the hundreds of Changelings who were ready to be her army and do her bidding.

 

I ran away. I journeyed back to Canterlot, unsure of where to go or who to turn to. I had no home, no job, no friends. The life I had had before was all a ruse, and if I showed my face—her face—again, I would have a lot of explaining to do. It wasn't worth it to go back to my old life. There was nothing. I had nothing. I was nothing.

 

I went back to my old ways, feeding here and there at random. I longed to have a relationship like before. To have somepony, just one pony, love me all the time—for who I was.

 

I tried unsuccessfully to convince myself that he had never loved me for me. It had always been her. But still... I wanted what I had when I was her—but as me. I wanted to love and be loved, without doing so just to feed.

 

Eventually, Chrysalis carried out her plan and overtook Canterlot. I was worried for myself when the initial shield went up, but I had already been in hiding for weeks. When the rest of the swarm finally attacked, I hid. I didn't know how long I could keep it up. I supposed that I would have to integrate back into the swarm, pretending to be one of the mindless. But I was afraid of her finding me.

 

I had run away, and I knew that Chrysalis knew. She was just too busy with her current plan to pay mind to my whereabouts. If she found me... I would likely be destroyed as a traitor. I no longer worked for the good of the swarm, but for the good of myself. We were always supposed to work together, for the good of our species. But I was different. I had become an individual, one not part of the master plan. I was a liability.

 

However, all too soon they were defeated, and banished from Equestria. Though I had still been in my shifted form, I was blown away with them. Chrysalis found me among the ranks, and I barely escaped with my life.

 

Weakened and unable to change form, I journeyed back to nearby Equestria. I hoped against hope that I could find somepony to feed on, to get my strength back and heal myself. I tried pretending to be ordinary. I tried being fierce. The result from my sight was the same: screaming and running. Though I had no ill intentions, all I could do was cause chaos.

 

I was near death when they showed up.

[WingMcCallister 367]

Wow, there is a lot of brewing action up in here. The undercurrent of suspense is probably the best part. It just pokes the vibe of caring about what happens next. 

[tdtuesday1 11]

This is awesome. I like how vague it is, it's perfect. I hope there's a chapter 2 coming soon. I look forward to see what happens next.

[eightbithoof 518]

Awesome! This is a great start to a story. So many directions you could take this. I'll definitely read the next installment; I'm looking forward to it.

[MyLittlePonyTales 273]

Thanks for the comments guys! Chapter 2 shall be incoming, hopefully soon. More comments means more motivation. XD It's no fun writing if no one is reading, after all.

[WingMcCallister 367]

Thanks for the comments guys! Chapter 2 shall be incoming, hopefully soon. More comments means more motivation. XD It's no fun writing if no one is reading, after all.

Then write, and I shall be here to read. Then, I shall be inspired to write more stuff and things will be good Such is the way of the world,