Your guide to raising a Harmonic Clone

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

How to raise a Harmonic clone:

 

What is a Harmonic Clone:

What, you may ask, is a Harmonic Clone. Well, you might recognize their predecessor, sea monkeys. Harmonic Clones are complete Genetic clones of your overlord squid Harmonic that are freeze dried to preserve them. You can thaw them and then add water and you have witty mini-clones of Harmonic Revelations.

The goal of Harmonic clones is to put them in all homes so that HR can take over the Earth and beyond

 

Raising a Harmonic Clone:

Harmonic clones are very charismatic, as is their master. When they are born, they are squishy little balls of wonder. They will look all cutesy at you before proceeding to either:

 

A.) If they like you, become loyal to you

 

B.) If they don't like you, they will take your girlfriend, steal your car, and dishonor your family

 

One of the main concerns about Harmonic Clones is what they eat. The answer to that question is actually simple, much like Harmy herself, these clones feed on the sorrow and misery of the entities around her. So all that's required to keep them alive is to have a bad day once in a while.

 

One of the best ways to upgrade them is to attach lasers to their heads and have them battle each other. Or alternatively, train them for war. That way when Harmonic needs to use them to take over, they will be pre-trained.

 

Besides this, Harmy Cs (As I affectionately call them) are very low maintenance. They are specifically bred to have no weaknesses in combat.

 

I have mailed ten of them to each of your houses.

 

Have a nice day!

 

DISCLAIMER:

By opening the Harmonic Clones packaging, you absolve Harmonic of any responsibility bodily harm/incineration/Face melting off that is caused by the Harmonic Clones

 

Side effects of being near the Harmy Cs may include:

 

Nausea,irritation of skin or eyes, coughing, inability to outrun predators, demonic possession, impotence, face melting off, incineration, holes to the center of the Earth spontaneously ripping open in your house, death, explosions erupting out of your face, volcanoes erupting even though they have been inactive for many years, and in extreme cases, Armageddon

 

Sincerely, your future ruler, Harmonic Revelations

Edited April 20, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[The Soldier 2,044]

I accidentally ate it.

 

Is that bad?

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

 

I accidentally ate it.

 

Is that bad?

 

It'll be like that scene in Indiana Jones where they open the ark of the Covenant and their face melts off.

 

If you consider that bad, then yes, it is very bad.

Edited April 20, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[Doctor Shuu 797]

I trained them by forcing them to watch the original Red Dawn on repeat for 9 hours.

 

Is that bad?

[Killian Jones 2,655]

I have my hands full with all the Tichs I have

[Yes-Man 597]

Harmy herself,

You're a chick!?

 

In that case, I'll take ten.

Edited April 20, 2013 by Yes-Falafel

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

I trained them to grind my Pokémon.

Is that bad?

Depends which definition of the word "Grind" you are referring to.

 

 

[duidamasterXD 9,627]

Probably against my better judgment, but I want one.