Just some guy 1,070 March 23, 2013 Share March 23, 2013 Not sure if these are puns (I'm pretty sure they are), but I found this on a Facebook page and I just had to share it. It's hilarious! Those aren't puns...they're tongue twisters! And saying those put quite the twist on me tongue. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appetite4Democracy 452 March 23, 2013 Share March 23, 2013 Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein counts, Pascal goes and hides, and Newton just stands there, takes out some chalk, and draws a box around himself. Einstein finishes counting and looks up and sees Newton and says, "I found you, Newton!" But Newton says, "No, no, no you found one newton per square meter. You found a pascal." 1 "For those about to rock, we salute you!"- ACϟDCSignature by Gone ϟ Airbourne (click the signature) My Tumblr Member of the Equestrian Gaming Clan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 March 23, 2013 Share March 23, 2013 A director is speaking to Steven Segal, Jean-Claude van Damme and Arnold Swartznegger about his upcoming movie about famous composers. He asks them what roles they want to be play. Steven Segal says "I want to be Mozart!". The director says "Okay." Jean-Claude van Damme says, "I want to be Beethoven!" The director says "Okay." After a moment's silence, he turns to Arnold and says, "What famous composer do you want to be?" Arnold thinks for a while and says quietly, "I'll be Bach." Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682 March 23, 2013 Share March 23, 2013 So I made a fan club, but I'm not even sure how to pull it off... 2 <> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 25, 2013 Share March 25, 2013 In Fringe, William Bell put sole magnets in Olivia's tea to put himself in her shoes. A music critic must have sound judgment. If you don't wanna be a hyena, you probably should stop doing drugs (or change your name from Yena to something else). Rowan's father probably had a hard time under the assaults of his At(tac)kinSon. Did you just cook a legume dish? Yeah, I have bean. My sister uses her huge hidquarters to push through obstacles, and doesn't even apologize for butting in. Flirty aliens are personal space invaders. This furry was shot by his/her sex partner, looks like a case of murr-der. Adolf Hoofler shouts: "Neigh neigh neigh neigh NEIGH!" According to Pinkie, being a rock farmer is a rather sedimentary life. Pegasus foals who need to pee will Scootaloo. Thieves broke into Sugarcube Corner, but since their plans were half-baked, they couldn't steal anything. When a princess is enjoying a ride at the theme park, it's tradition to use the royal "WHEE". The Apple family knows a lot about computers. Macintosh is even selling Apples! NSFW from here Safe sex is necessary to obtain new safes. Toaster: I want you inside me. Bread: That's hot! These two sentences both contain an innuendo, if you think long and hard enough. I have a package for Viscra, he should be glad he doesn't have to pay for shipping and handling. Furries who feel horny can listen to their iPawed. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824 March 25, 2013 Share March 25, 2013 (edited) A computer walks into a restaurant and says: "I'm gonna have a bite(byte)" Kind of inappropriate Thatme some money. Edited March 25, 2013 by Thunder-Dash Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeWg-TtBRMfqketa1ELyKGg Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/menelik-david-kenneth-cannady 2nd SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/thunder-dash-alternative/tracks Pony.fm: https://pony.fm/thunder-dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 March 25, 2013 Share March 25, 2013 My reclining chair and I go way back. If you give food to a prehistoric reptile, you dine a saur. Sorry I come off as abrasive, I'm going through a rocky phase. An electrician who's sick of working: "I just wanna go ohm." When wild animals run loose in a circus, predators usually go for the juggler. My dog had to have his tail amputated, we'll have to visit the retail store. Fursuiters have a right to bear arms. A Gyarados hitting on a Glaceon: "Ice to meet you." "Gyaroff my case!" "Aw... Why you giving me the cold shoulder?" "You've been gawking at me in the fishiest possible way!" "C'mon girl, you just need to chill out." A group of happy lions make a gay pride. A gay deer walks out of a bar and says: "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks!" 1 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavelColt 22,878 March 27, 2013 Share March 27, 2013 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null1 606 March 27, 2013 Share March 27, 2013 I like big black Glocks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 April 1, 2013 Share April 1, 2013 I like big black Glocks.They can be real ladykillers these days. When a chemist dies, they barium. I gave a kidney last week, I Madonna now. But I don’t like bragging, so I’ll stop Tolkien about it. On an unrelated note, my Taylor is Swift in making dresses. I tried to reach the clouds, I mist. According to the Bible, Ruth patiently waited for Boaz. They both had to avoid drunkaz and dumbaz for the former, and extremely ruthe women who wouldn't respect hisaz for the latter. Making holy water: boil the hell out of it. Furries who go out at sea must watch out for piRATs. A girl told me she knew me from a vegan club, but I've never met herbivore. Girls keep saying they're more considerate than boys. But men have been doing music for millennia to have Debussy. Sometimes they even buy an instrument Vivaldi money they made in months. Rick Astley will let you have any movie from his Pixar collection. But he's never gonna give you Up. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682 April 1, 2013 Share April 1, 2013 How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero, it's a hardware problem. Something from my programming class. 1 <> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJRainbowDash 724 April 1, 2013 Share April 1, 2013 Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but that would be pointless. " I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo My Friendship is Magic Fanfiction Page: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/The%20DJ%20Rainbow%20Dash -Signature art designed by the lovely vinyl_scratch 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 April 29, 2013 Share April 29, 2013 Being rocked and being stoned can both cause dizziness. A plane pilot greeting a helicopter pilot: "Helo there!" Someone humanized the Magic School Bus, she sure looks BUSty. A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday. It'd be funny if this joke had a punchline, wooden tit? When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, you should probably see a Doctor. Also, careful not to get your sink clogged. 2 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 April 30, 2013 Share April 30, 2013 A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!" I'll give you a dollar if you understood it. Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gay Bird 421 May 1, 2013 Share May 1, 2013 What's brown and sticky? a stick Check out my youtube channel and my soundcloud too! https://soundcloud.com/sonic_force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 2, 2013 Share May 2, 2013 If "con" is the opposite of "pro", why's no one using the Constitution to sue pimps? Works about Sarah Arendt that interesting IMO. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appetite4Democracy 452 May 11, 2013 Share May 11, 2013 Pro and con are opposites, therefore congress is the opposite of progress. Kim Jong is dead? I thought he was just il. Paul Gray is dead? I thought he was just (sic) "For those about to rock, we salute you!"- ACϟDCSignature by Gone ϟ Airbourne (click the signature) My Tumblr Member of the Equestrian Gaming Clan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 11, 2013 Share May 11, 2013 When I was in Cologne, and the cathedral's bells would be heard every hour, it really began to take a toll. It was just a mehr inconvenience at first. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keypassion 232 May 11, 2013 Share May 11, 2013 Venom is the Bane of Spiderman. http://www.mlpchat.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 13, 2013 Share May 13, 2013 (edited) A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!" I'll give you a dollar if you understood it. I actually got curious and looked it up, but the "explanation" was a disappointment because it was flawed. A hydroxyl ion does NOT "contain" alcohol, it's not even a part of an alcohol molecule which would be the case for a hydroxyl FUNCTION. It's only an oxygen atom with a hydrogen atom and an excess electron. Maybe the ions do COME FROM alcohol, but that means those who're "explaining" the joke skipped/forgot basic organic chemistry. That being said, my interpretation [a HO- ion = a hoe I (am) on] makes sense, though without the rest of the story. But that, unlike the "real" one, is an actual pun. Edited May 13, 2013 by Feather Spiral I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qqq 217 May 13, 2013 Share May 13, 2013 Confucius he say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. My dad is full of these. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 May 13, 2013 Share May 13, 2013 I actually got curious and looked it up, but the "explanation" was a disappointment because it was flawed. A hydroxyl ion does NOT "contain" alcohol, it's not even a part of an alcohol molecule which would be the case for a hydroxyl FUNCTION. It's only an oxygen atom with a hydrogen atom and an excess electron. Maybe the ions do COME FROM alcohol, but that means those who're "explaining" the joke skipped/forgot basic organic chemistry. That being said, my interpretation [a HO- ion = a hoe I (am) on] makes sense, though without the rest of the story. But that, unlike the "real" one, is an actual pun. The "actual" explanation was because the acronym for Hydroxyl Ion is "OH-", or it can be validly read as "HO-", making a pun on Ho. Dunno where you got the alcohol thing from, but whoever came up with that didn't really understand the joke. 1 Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 17, 2013 Share May 17, 2013 Discord used to work at the Equestria coin mint... but then he decided to quit, because after all... "What fun is there in making cents?" Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadefire 2,797 May 19, 2013 Share May 19, 2013 I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place.<br /><br />(not a pun, but still kinda funny) Ponysona bio, here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcato 2,143 May 19, 2013 Share May 19, 2013 I had a dream about Luna last night. It was a Night-Mare. #TotallyNotOverusedPun 1 ~Relax and enJOY life. True joy is a BLESSING.~ ~Musician, poet, writer, and all-around storyteller~ Interests: Old literature, ancient history, MUSIC, fantasy, anime Best Pony: Tiaaaaaa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Join the herd!Sign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now