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Why do pictures get in trouble a lot?

 

Because they're always framed.

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Y'know, I've been on this site for almost ten years and I've never had a proper signature. Ain't that something?

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Because alcoholics have bad grammar, the government introduced a syntax.

 

If you want part of a compound sentence for Christmas, write a letter to Santa Clause. (if you don't get it, read carefully...)

 

How do you annoy a student majoring in English?

the list is too long to fit hear

 

 

This one may be semi-inappropriate...

 

I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it.

 

 

never date apostrophes, they're too possessive.

 

Why do women never go to jail for more than a month? Because a period marks the end of the sentence.

 

semi-funny: I updated a post with grammar puns just to fix a grammar mistake.

Edited by Frith is Magik
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post-19519-0-48643400-1400482384.png
Keep flyin'

 

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This is a darned good thread where they string together a yarn that will rope you in and have you in stitches. According to the description, any so-and-sew can post there, as long as what they write ties in. A word of warning, being knotty and posting random stuff will fray nerves.

Edited by Frith is Magik
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post-19519-0-48643400-1400482384.png
Keep flyin'

 

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Someone tried to sell me a life insurance, I told them that was the last thing I needed.

(seriously though, why is it called LIFE insurance if it takes effect when you DIE?)

 

What did one doughnut say to the other?

Honestly I doughnut know.

 

 

being knotty

dog-pickup-line_o_1261244.jpg

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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Bite me, bitch.

Anyway, I guess this thread deserves some sort of approval seal.

img-1960219-1-Seal-of-approval.jpg

 

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? She looked like crap.

 

Why does nobody know who invented shovels? It was ground-breaking!

 

I saw everyone smoking outside the campus, so I joint.

 

I hit the gym yesterday, now I'm in trouble with my car insurance and the gym owner.

 

UPDATE

 

You know the police officer who used to work at the crossroad? I hear (s)he's been arrested for car trafficking.

 

My sister called me "dorky", so I gave her the door key. (pun made by chuggaconroy in his Okamiden gameplay)

Edited by Feather Spiral
  • Brohoof 2

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry for double post, but this is fresh and quality stuff guys

 

If you're feeling emotional over everything you drink, is it better to keep it bottled up or to cry over spilled milk?

 

You saw a mantis hunting on your temple's altar? Prey tell...

 

Did you hear about the homosexual Chinese LPer?

Yeah, I love Gay Ming too!

 

EDIT: The invention of toilets as we know today was a stepping stool in Western history.

Edited by Feather Spiral

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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Dunno if this counts, but today when my dad asked me what BDSM meant, I replied

Belly Dancin Silly Mannequin

 

Also

 

If the protagonist group in Sonic Underground was a metal band, they'd be called Race Against The Machine.

 

-----

UPDATE WHOOOPS

-----

 

I was trying to reach Pandaria, but I mist.

 

In the space stage of Spore, a zealot that helps other empires exhibits true spodesman ship.

 

If Nerdcubed was sleeping on top of his girlfriend on a sandy seashore under the sun, he'd be... lying on the bitch getting a nice Dan.

 

A blogger's joint is the tumblweed.

 

Doing fanart of "Erasure" band members as romantic couples, that'd be a Ship Of Fools.

 

Dyslexic people may experience bad vowel movements.

 

It's funny when people hurt each other, especially by punts and punches.

Also, spunky people may enjoy punk music best. They won't be content with puny singles, either.

 

Brought apun you by my, Ephesus, brilliant mind.

Edited by Feather Spiral

I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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If someone said I didn't like high pulp orange juice, that would be

 

pulpfiction1.jpg

 

Pulp Fiction


I refuse to let go until you're impressed.
I refuse to let go until I'm depressed.
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I was with two of my mates once and we were telling stories, and one of my mates told us how her friend tried to eat a banana skin the other day and my other mate says: "Well.. Doesn't seem very nice but I can see the.. appeal"

 

I slapped that cheeky grin off his face.

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14lq2o2.jpg
 Signature by mwah~                OC; Evening Glory

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"Mr. Pirate, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

"Yarr. It's driving me nuts!"

 

Dot dot dot. Was the  "Yarr. It's driving me nuts!" supposed to be a pun, or is nuts supposed to mean crazy...

 

I SHALL SHUT UP NOW

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This is relevant right now:

We need to boycolt YouTube!

 

The first earth pony expedition to Cloudsdale by rocket goes awry...

"Hayston, we have a problem!"

 

If Slenderman was a gardener, his plants would have long stalks.

 

Having guests at the house at inappropriate times can cause a host of issues.


I take writing commissions.

"Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017

"That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric

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I saw someone with jimmies on their ice cream. They dropped the ice cream and began having a fit. Guess that really rustled their jimmies.

 

For those of you who seriously don't get it, the sprinkles you put on ice cream are referred to as jimmies in Massachusetts. Wait, why am I explaining the joke to you? That ruins it!

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