Doctor XFizzle 8,669 April 21, 2012 Share April 21, 2012 I have more pressing matters to attend to *goes back to work at the newspaper factory pressing the "Matters" section of the paper* MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chill Mists (Chilly) 801 April 21, 2012 Share April 21, 2012 This thread made me laugh so much!~ "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down." "A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'." "Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink." "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." I don't know if these count, but they made me giggle. >.< I think the worst pun is "punny". xD A banana is a herb, not a fruit. Apart from this, those were actually not too terrible. 1 Brushing your hair is for people who care and someone who cares is not I, I'll jump off a bridge and then fill up your fridge,and best pony is Fluttershy. Her face is still blushing and she is still eating the pasta. "on the internet;everyone are strong"- Guy on Youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Hearts 93 April 21, 2012 Share April 21, 2012 A banana is a herb, not a fruit. Apart from this, those were actually not too terrible. Thank you for the information, I never knew that. You live and you learn~ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elric 42 April 21, 2012 Share April 21, 2012 Why was Simba grounded? Because he was lion 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 April 22, 2012 Author Share April 22, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akemi Homura 7,680 April 22, 2012 Share April 22, 2012 "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor XFizzle 8,669 April 22, 2012 Share April 22, 2012 Why am I changing from a pegasus to a unicorn with this post? Because I feel a little horny!! BOOYAH UNICORN GET! 3 MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 April 24, 2012 Share April 24, 2012 (edited) ^ Can't be hornier than MY unicorn. All our bases must be ready to counter the next alien intrusion. Prepare Uranus! I once had an African girlfriend, she was hot. A tropical river, large enough to occupy a whole zone, becomes intelligent and cheerfully shouts: "I'm a zone river!" I thought I saw two dachshunds the other day. Were they wiener-shaped dogs or dog-shaped wieners? I guess it was just a pair-o-dachs. When a quantum physicist dies, they lose energy and their quirks become quarks. When a mathematician dies, their bodily functions disintegrate and derive into zero. A dead geologist mineralizes, a dead nutritionist feeds organisms and wildlife, a dead chemist is reduced to their elements. "Mr Spock, did you hear of the Vulcan band, Basalt Logic?" "I have not, captain. May I ask what kind of music they play?" "Vulcanic Rock." Edited April 24, 2012 by Feather Spiral I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Cyborg 26 April 24, 2012 Share April 24, 2012 Not really a pun, but I once wanted to name a band "Britney's Pears"... Say no more - It got rejected. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryGamer432 155 April 24, 2012 Share April 24, 2012 (edited) I always wondered why the ball was getting bigger as it came at me..... then it hit me! Edited April 24, 2012 by Thatpony124 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Lightning Da Cute 619 April 24, 2012 Share April 24, 2012 They may be terrible but these are really funny! Keep it up my friends! I'm the Son of Celestia And when i'm King who else did you think would be Queen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor XFizzle 8,669 April 25, 2012 Share April 25, 2012 *inspired by the mini van thread title* Why don't people like the messy mummy? He was given a bad wrap. 1 MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 April 25, 2012 Share April 25, 2012 (edited) I went to my one doctor, who said "You have cancer!" I went to another doctor, who said "You're in perfect health!" It's quite a pair'a'docs. 2 strings try to go into a bar. The bouncer says "Sorry, we don't serve strings." The one string goes home, dejected, but the other string has a brainwave. He bends himself double, combs his hair so that it stands on end, and goes back to the bouncer. The bouncer says "Hey, aren't you one of those strings I just threw out?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot!" I went to my doctor. He says to me, "You only have 6 months to live!" I say, "I'd like a second opinion." The doctor answers, "All right. You're ugly too!" Edited April 25, 2012 by CandidKid 1 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 April 25, 2012 Share April 25, 2012 (edited) I had a friend living in the country, who once said I'd be a great cow herder. I told him it was complete bull. But he insisted, thinking I was just cow-ering. That's when our friendship went sour, so we parted wheys. You're making a very persuasive argument. I was gonna hammer the same things in, but you nailed it right down for me. I know a guy with a collection of bolts. I think he's nuts. EDIT: some more XFizzle puns since my last two. Who did he just break up with? Xgirlfriend. What did he have that she found too high? Xpectations. What did she include in her argument? Xamples. What did he owe her? An Xplanation. What kind of sports does he practice? Xtreme. Why does he do them? For Xercise. Where does he store his backup data? On an Xternal drive. Edited April 26, 2012 by Feather Spiral 1 I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor XFizzle 8,669 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 If Scootaloo played board games, she'd be Scootaclue! If Scootaloo made adhesives, it'd be Scootaglue! If Scootaloo got sick, she'd be Scootaflu! If Scootaloo drank soft drinks, she'd be ScootaDew! If Scootaloo got a dye job or was just depressed, she'd be Scootablue! 2 MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePlantsOfDistraction 56 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 What does a depressed frog do? He "kermits" suicide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 (edited) Oh, Cod, I makes me eel when people carp and whale just for the halibut. - I didn't make this up, it comes from an old game "Quest for Glory II". Is there mushroom in this forum for a fungi like me? - I did make that one up. Edited May 4, 2012 by CandidKid 1 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarcube 213 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 Did you hear what happened to the pretzel walking down main street? It was a salted. *facepalm* I may have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night - El-P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 If I helped Viscra making his mixes, we'd be making luvstep. If I played Minecraft with Viscra, I would've fallen in lava with him. If Viscra and I were computer geeks, we would watch Love Bo(a)t. I wrote an application named "Tin" for my iPad, it displays everything in a snapp. (it's funny if you know your periodic table...) A trigonometry teacher's favorite fruit is sine-apple. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter 1,942 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 Did you hear about the ninja? He was a pretty knife guy. how even is otter and how can it be if Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MachineGunLola 408 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 /not really a pun, but i find it hilarious/ Gas the Jews? No, I said glass of juice! mistakes. they happen. BANG! BANG! BANG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezio Auditore 702 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 (edited) Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine Edited May 4, 2012 by Ezio Auditore 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightfall 3,950 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 So, a baby seal walks into a club... Four men are walking down the street. Three walk into a bar... the fourth ducks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor XFizzle 8,669 May 4, 2012 Share May 4, 2012 If Scootaloo had a growth spurt, she'd be Scootagrew! If Scootaloo had to vomit, she'd be Scootaspew! If Scootaloo wore something on her hooves, she'd be Scootashoe! If Scootaloo had a bill to pay, she'd be Scootadue! MLP Forums' resident timelord, sports dilettante, and purveyor of wit and humor~*Traveling Timelord Nonpareil*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 5, 2012 Share May 5, 2012 (edited) If Scootaloo had a growth spurt, she'd be Scootagrew! If Scootaloo had to vomit, she'd be Scootaspew! If Scootaloo wore something on her hooves, she'd be Scootashoe! If Scootaloo had a bill to pay, she'd be Scootadue! If she needed to go to the bathroom she'd be Scootaloo! Oh, wait... Edited May 5, 2012 by CandidKid 2 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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