NavelColt 22,881 May 19, 2012 Share May 19, 2012 I know but... that one... dear God it was bad. I guess that means you're good at this and doing it right but still... I swear I lost a few brain cells from reading that XD. In my defense, I didn't make it up xP It's from a pic on DA I saw last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezio Auditore 702 May 19, 2012 Share May 19, 2012 Nazi jokes make me Fuhrious. Heil Hit-yer for that one. You could also say they tend to generate a lot of "Fuhrer." Seriously guys WW2 puns aren't funny Anne Frankly I won't stand for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverNeverland 1,940 May 19, 2012 Author Share May 19, 2012 (edited) Cyanide and Happiness is perfect for this thread. Edited May 19, 2012 by NeverNeverland 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenshinohana 264 May 19, 2012 Share May 19, 2012 "-Can february march? -No, but april may." "Where do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream" "What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? DAM" Tincy-wincy racist. Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same Once you've heard juan you've heard jamal! "What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!" "When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked." "What does a mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra!" "What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator" "What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison" "A friend showed me a rage comic on the internet, but I already reddit" "I gave my dead batteries away - free of charge" "What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto." "If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow" "I'm so bright my mother calls me son" "Change is hard - have you ever tried to bend a coin?" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 20, 2012 Share May 20, 2012 (edited) Man goes to his doctor. He says, "Doc, I've got something wrong with me. Every time I fart, it sounds like 'Honda, honda'." The doctor replies, "Well, it's pretty clear you have an abscess." The man is sceptical. "Hey, Doc, how do you know that? Shouldn't you do some tests or something first?" The doctor replies, "Of course not. Everyone knows an abscess makes a fart go honda!" Edited May 20, 2012 by CandidKid Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavelColt 22,881 May 20, 2012 Share May 20, 2012 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostwanderer 367 May 20, 2012 Share May 20, 2012 We were trying to find a nick name for a guy, people tried calling him sweety, but in the end tehy said the name wouldnt stick...so i suggested the name "honey". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenshinohana 264 May 21, 2012 Share May 21, 2012 A cantaloupe melon and a watermelon were talking. Watermelon: "Let's run away and get married!" Cantaloupe: "Sorry, I cantaloupe." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 21, 2012 Share May 21, 2012 A nearsighted hen mistook an orange for an egg and decided to sit on it. One her chicks saw this, so he called all his brothers and sisters and said, "Hey, everyone, look at the egg that Marma laid!" 1 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sprixx 261 May 21, 2012 Share May 21, 2012 So I Googled "Terrible Puns" too see what I would get (I was really playing with fire on that one) and this is the first thing I found... It hurt What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway) My trip to memebase today... OH GAWD IT BURNS!!! This pun... Oh god... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chill Mists (Chilly) 801 May 21, 2012 Share May 21, 2012 (edited) I moustache you a question but I'll shave it for later. Brilliant. Edited May 21, 2012 by Chill Mists (Chilly) Brushing your hair is for people who care and someone who cares is not I, I'll jump off a bridge and then fill up your fridge,and best pony is Fluttershy. Her face is still blushing and she is still eating the pasta. "on the internet;everyone are strong"- Guy on Youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 21, 2012 Share May 21, 2012 (edited) Canilyn Dogroe. (I usually don't like seeing pets dressed up for their owners' pleasure, but I really needed to make this pun.) Edited May 21, 2012 by Feather Spiral I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenshinohana 264 May 22, 2012 Share May 22, 2012 (edited) Videogame pick up line puns: A guy lifts his shirt and shows his abs. "They call me Pac Man." "If I hit you, I'd cause you Max Payne." "I have to go to the bathroom. You could say it's my "Call of Duty"." "Do you know where I can get some drugs? I'm in Need for Speed." "Are you single?" "No, I'm Tekken." "Halo! How are you doing?" "I like my women Kirby." Not for the innocent ones.. "I'm into necrophilia. They call me the Tomb Raider." I guess I'm not going to try out her portal. I've always wanted to try anal. You could say it's my Final Fantasy. Edited May 22, 2012 by Tenshinohana 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 22, 2012 Share May 22, 2012 (edited) ^ Ponies heed the Call of Cutie. Africans have Black Abs. Okami's final boss is yummy. Simba used to watch Scar Trek a lot. I thought we were each allowed a couple of playable Borg characters... but I saw seven of mine! Pegasi unite, become the Fellowship of the Wing! The rebellious musician, pursued by the police, goes underground and hides in the sewers. Edited May 22, 2012 by Feather Spiral I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyber126 6 May 22, 2012 Share May 22, 2012 i dont get this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 22, 2012 Share May 22, 2012 What don't you get? Also, have these in Q&A format. What did the McDonald's guy said to the kangaroo whose forums was being trolled by a certain Ban? Ban Ban, Roo! What did Pinkie Pie say before playing her latest rap? I bring da lulz. What did the mall owner say to his kid watching loud, howling dogs on TV? Mall.. ah, mute! (say it fast) What's the catch phrase of any cetacean plushie? My hand is a doll fin! What does Kirk say to Kyle's/Scott's attractive replacement at the transporter controls? Beam me up, hottie! I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenshinohana 264 May 25, 2012 Share May 25, 2012 "How much do hipsters weigh? An Instagram." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 25, 2012 Share May 25, 2012 ^ I looked that up, and now I height it. I never knew people could lower themselves to putting down witty quotes. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nah 3,182 May 25, 2012 Share May 25, 2012 Moar puns. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Fox 5,950 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 A waiter is working in a restaurant when a panda wanders in. The panda sits down at one of the tables. He opens the menu, calls the waiter over, and orders a meal. The bemused waiter brings out his order, and the panda eats it. As he stands up to go, the panda suddenly pulls out a machine gun, and starts mowing down all the other customers. In the end, only the waiter is left standing. "What the hell was that all about?" he shouts. The panda throws a dictionary down on the table, says "Look it up..." and walks out. The waiter, with trembling fingers, picks up the dictionary and opens it to the panda entry which reads, "Eats, shoots and leaves." 4 Happy minion of The Fabulous One! Signature by Midnightive Check out my blog! https://mlpforums.com/blog/1083-sunny-side-den/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 891 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 A waiter is working in a restaurant when a panda wanders in. The panda sits down at one of the tables. He opens the menu, calls the waiter over, and orders a meal. The bemused waiter brings out his order, and the panda eats it. As he stands up to go, the panda suddenly pulls out a machine gun, and starts mowing down all the other customers. In the end, only the waiter is left standing. "What the hell was that all about?" he shouts. The panda throws a dictionary down on the table, says "Look it up..." and walks out. The waiter, with trembling fingers, picks up the dictionary and opens it to the panda entry which reads, "Eats, shoots and leaves." I'd like to thank the MLP Vector Club for the images used in my avatar. Known as "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza", "Trixie the Great", "Tom" and "Tomzoid the EggDroid". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Awesome One 1,315 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 You know I was gonna make a gay and over-used pun, butt fuck it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chill Mists (Chilly) 801 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 (edited) You know I was gonna make a gay and over-used pun, butt fuck it. Gay jokes aren't funny! Cum on guys!I am so sorry... Edited May 26, 2012 by Chill Mists (Chilly) 1 Brushing your hair is for people who care and someone who cares is not I, I'll jump off a bridge and then fill up your fridge,and best pony is Fluttershy. Her face is still blushing and she is still eating the pasta. "on the internet;everyone are strong"- Guy on Youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aureity 3,055 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term.The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased... Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it willbe a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze." This student received the only A. 1 A lil' Catherine <(^.^)> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feather Spiral 1,892 May 26, 2012 Share May 26, 2012 ^ I would've graded him 'B'. He didn't take reincarnation rates into account. I take writing commissions. "Nerds build the world, artists decorate it, warriors protect it, leaders talk everyone into doing their jobs." -me, 3 Nov 2017 "That's not a pie, that's a pastry with an identity crisis!" ~Jeric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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