Your Inner Demons

[Lunas Husband 2,777]

"Our inner demon is the person we don't wish to become, because that's not who we are. Every day you must fight it! Because you can't let it win, because if it does win well... things may never be the same..."

~My Drug Counselor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As time go's on in everyone's life we slowly find are inner demon, this thing that wants us to become something we are not, or maybe even do something you don't wish to do but you have to do it anyway.

 

For me it was drugs, a lot of it was heroin. I loved it so much sadly to this day I still love it and I want it. It's sad really, my best friend die because of it and I still want it. But you see I don't let it take over me not again, I fight it I have to. Everyday, of every second I have to find something to keep my mind off of it, right now I'm thinking about it.. so lets move on please

 

From MLP:FIM there is only one character that has a inner demon....

 

Yes Luna.

She has to fight a inner demon, we know it as Nightmare Moon. Now what makes Luna want to become this evil ruler of the night? jealousy. Yes, she is jealous of her sister, that all the ponies love her more and love her day more then, her most beautiful of nights, and its sad she let's that inner demon take her like that and make her in to some kind of a monster, like mine did not to long ago. 

 

I hope that one day she may let go of her jealousy, and hate for her older sister and let Nightmare Moon die once and for all, ah but in tell then she is going to be in a world of pain and suffering which I don't wish on to anyone.

 

ah so, do you have some kind of inner demon? That wants to take you and never let you go?

or are you one of the lucky few in this world that does not have a inner demon, and if you do have one I hope its not as bad as mine. Because fighting this thing is not easy not at all..

 

So please do tell me if you wish to open up about it...

[Commissar Alexer 763]

Hmmm...a inner demon, huh? I'm about myself not really sure. I maybe do have one or even more than one but i'm more than confident that i can keep them sealed.

[Rascal~ 657]

I know that I like to cause pain, especially to those who abused me when I was a child. For over 8 years I was constantly bullied and abused at school and sometimes at home. So I know that my inner demon likes the idea of putting the knife to someones throat as the blood dripped from their neck and likes to see people dead on the floor. And it takes a lot of control to stop myself from doing serious damage to others when they rile me up, because sometimes I don't mind that idea either.

But of course I'm always scared for my health, I don't exactly have the best wellbeing anymore.

Due to what I was objected to as a child I now have a heart condition, slight brain/motor function problems, I have a deformed ribbed cage and bone structure. So I definitely know what it feels like to have an inner demon.

[Scootalove 10,689]

My inner demon would have to be my shyness. At times, I try to fight my inner demon but it tries to take over when I'm with my friends. It takes a while to fight it, but it takes a lot of will to beat it.

[DaReaper 1,944]

well i'm glad you got over addiction and continue to fight that off, thats great thing to hear. My inner demon has nothing compared to your's i call it my monster, it's my anger. I have one of the worst tempers of anyone that i fight with everyday to supress, I only had one flair up in the past year. But yeah when it takes over bad things happen usualy people get hurt property gets damaged. As with everything i put it best with song

 

I try (as I waste away)

With every waking moment of my life

to hide (the scars in me)

the monster that is building up inside

so blind (whats left of me)

pins and needles buried in my eyes

goodbye (goodbye)

to everything thats chasing me

 

Stemm "Monster"

 

But yeah i control it through my music, games, working, and MLP calms me down almost instantly

[Winona the Dog 1,984]

ah so, do you have some kind of inner demon? That wants to take you and never let you go? or are you one of the lucky few in this world that does not have a inner demon, and if you do have one I hope its not as bad as mine. Because fighting this thing is not easy not at all..

 

I don't know if I even have an inner demon. At least I think I don't as it hasn't made itself present. I think staying away from the outside world helps but I understand I will have to experience it at some point and that's when my inner demon will make itself present. I personally think the farther away I am from people the better but that's usually the case for shy and secluded people like me.

 

Or maybe I'm lucky and don't have one at all. 

Edited August 25, 2013 by Ember The Dragoness

[Shanks 10,816]

For me it is my temper, a long story short is I have been through quite a lot in my life and through much of it I was misunderstood, stereotyped made fun of and a few things happened that are beyond my control that nearly pushed me to the breaking point. In middle school and high school this was a part of my everyday life, I was always one provocation from either threatening or beating the hell out of some poor sap. To sum things up this is who I was at the time, a monster.

 

 

It wasn't easy and I still get to some points in my life where my rage can sometimes get the better of me but I haven't assaulted anyone in over 10 years so I view that as quite the accomplishment.

[Winona the Dog 1,984]

 

 

For me it is my temper, a long story short is I have been through quite a lot in my life and through much of it I was misunderstood, stereotyped made fun of and a few things happened that are beyond my control that nearly pushed me to the breaking point. In middle school and high school this was a part of my everyday life, I was always one provocation from either threatening or beating the hell out of some poor sap. To sum things up this is who I was at the time, a monster.     It wasn't easy and I still get to some points in my life where my rage can sometimes get the better of me but I haven't assaulted anyone in over 10 years so I view that as quite the accomplishment.

 

I know how hard it is to control your anger. I always keep my anger balled up but some say that's worse than just expressing it. Rage is a very serious emotion and it can drive people insane. 

[Friendship_Cannon 1,676]

I think I have an inner demon xD.

Many people have, but I´m quite sure I keep it locked away good enough...

 

It´s got to do with several years of getting bullied and beaten up (basically 8 years of my school education in a nutshell). It´s the side of me that doesn´t believe in friends, the good in humans, in harmony, in love or any of that kind. It´s the part of me that is aggressive, unforgiving and violent, the part of me that wants to "destroy".

I don´t have a problem talking about it, I´m just sorry that I have been this way for so long, I had no right to be that way, but neither had the ones who made me become this person. It´s not really a demon for it´s a part of my life I have sealed away. I have forgiven (others and myself)what happened, seen my mistakes and keep it in my memory just as a warning not to let it happen again, and to maybe help people not do the same mistakes I made.

[NocturnalRainbow 248]

I consider my rage to be my inner demon. Most of the time I am a pretty friendly, nice guy. But every little thing that makes me angry builds up inside and when It finally gets to be too much I just flip out on the next thing that even remotely annoys me. I hate it when I do this... I hate it a lot. I've done this to family and friends and it just makes me feel awful. I try to deal with it and I think I've made some progress in keeping it locked away but not much. Maybe one day I'll be able to silence the angry, hateful side of myself for good.

[Shanks 10,816]

I know how hard it is to control your anger. I always keep my anger balled up but some say that's worse than just expressing it. Rage is a very serious emotion and it can drive people insane. 

I made that same mistake as well and that made things worse, I had so much of it that I didn't know how to handle it. The consequences of it terrified me so much that I often tried to suppress it. How I learned to control it aside from therapy as well as medication (I haven't taken any meds in 10 years) is that I have found a way to redirect that rage to more productive pursuits. I redirected it though music, art, writing and excercize which are all things which I have let fall out of my life but me becoming a brony has inspired me to bring back. My rage over being suspended and nearly fired from my job though it wasn't expressed violently nearly destroyed me but I am not using that as fuel to drive and motivate me to enact my plans to get out of that dump and get my life back together. I will find my true calling of becoming an author, I will write about my experiences growing up with Autism and eventually go into other subjects that interest me.

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

I'd have to say my social problems. Not even the girl I had a huge crush on could get me to dance at the Halloween dance...or at the anime con dance. I always just sit in the corner alone because I can't force myself to just get up and be social. Basically, I pull a fluttershy. I just feel like everybody will judge me, and I can't get myself to do it. There's been so many instances in my life that could have been far more enjoyable if I were just more social. I swear I have social anxiety, or something along those lines.

 

It's funny, because I find standing up in front of the class no problem at all. However, at last years anime con they were doing a Homestuck photo shoot (I was a homestuck troll, Karkat to be particular) and I was like the only homestuck cosplayer not in the massive photoshoot. Also in the classroom the teacher will say "Does anybody know "insert something here". and I'll know the answer. There's 30 seconds of quiet, and nobody seems to know the answer. Then somebody speaks up  "Oh, I know it!" and everyone else praises them with comments such as "Wow! You're so smart!". I then feel very stupid, as If I could have just made myself speak up, I could have gotten the answer right. This is something stupid to be upset over I know, but I'm just mad that I can't speak up when I want to.

 

Also, I find that I can be very impatient (due to recent events in my life). I can be a little harsh at times, and I went from being spineless to speaking my mind too much. Also, I can be kind of a dick sometimes because of this. I also lack will power. I know my problems aren't really bad at all. It could be far, far worse for me, and for that I'm grateful. I hope everyone here can fight their demons, and better themselves. Nobody deserves to be held back by their inner demons their whole life.

Edited August 25, 2013 by TrollianShinobi

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

No, I am not inner demons. That's not a very nice thing to say about me, I thought we were friends, OP.

 

*goes off to corner to sob quietly*

 

 

 

Seriously, though, one thing about hatred in Equestria is that it seems tangible, like it causes observable events, like that snow storm, for example, it can lure spirits and the like. For that reason I consider Nightmare Moon an entirely separate entity than Luna.

Edited August 25, 2013 by Jacob Danik

[Stoney Pony 100]

I dont really know, I have lived a real tough life but i dont linger on it. I was lucky enough to repress my past with fun times and good memories of my teenage years. If they ever surfaced, that would probably be my inner demon. I really dont see that happening though. I have been going to a psychiatrist for a very long time and she tells me that i might have become a real evil human being if i did not learn to repress them. So I got off lucky, alot of people dont and you hear about them shooting up schools or becoming serial killers. and i dont hate them i truly pity them and feel sorry for them. I know what it's like to live with Darkness in your heart, to question if you deserved what you got. or if it was your fault, thats why i try to help out as many people that i can that have been through similar situations in there life. It gets me into trouble alot  because the minute i hear someone is at the brink, i do everything in my power to save them, it's rather selfish of me to think i can pull someone from the edge but i cant stand there and watch them fall. If someone does not want to be here who am i to make them stay, but i cant help it when. I was ready to die no one was there for me so, i made it a point to be there for everyone else.

[Untitled Goose Q 5,137]

I know how hard it is to control your anger. I always keep my anger balled up but some say that's worse than just expressing it. Rage is a very serious emotion and it can drive people insane. 

I have had the same problem, in the past, although for me it is part of my Aspergers. However, I have managed to keep it under control for nearly two years now.

[Mr F 1,522]

Maybe that I mostly ignore pain or illness. (does not end well)

I can also rage pretty bad and have a short temper, (violece is the last way out)

I am also waaaaay to forgiving.

maybe more of problems, but yea...

Edited August 25, 2013 by a crazy pony

[Soundgarden 2,758]

Eh, I found the whole inner demon thing really stupid. This is basically a "What's your your flaws"/"What part of you do you hate" thread

 

Anyways, I guess my "inner demon" would be my self-hatred and lack of confidence

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

@, 

I have a pretty good understanding of what addiction is. Although I've never had something that comes close to what you've gone through, I just want to tell you it's OK... It doesn't make you any less of a person. Definitely not to me. Because I understand, I can feel some of the pain you must've gone through. And I know how shameful it can feel to be an addict...

 

 

Hmn... Well... As for my own demons... It's not something I want to talk about. The good news is that I no longer consider it a demon because I've come to the conclusion that it isn't who I am--simply out of character.

What I do know however is that deep down, I am capable of unfettered hatred and who knows what that could push me to do. I've seen extreme violence and cruelty in my dreams... Although mostly to my own person at the hand of some sort of alter ego of myself. Void of compassion and choking with malice... Animalistic and rabid... You fight the bloodiest when you want to see yourself die.

 

There is another glimmer to this though... I once RPed with a friend where I let this loose. The thing is, he was asking me to RP in a violent way and I couldn't go through with it. As I remembered those dreams, I figured something out; imbue all of my shame into my friend's character. I'm... surprised how well that worked. At the end where I killed his character (well that's how it would have realistically ended), when I stopped and let it all sink in, I felt horrified and that feeling lingered for days if not a week or so. Do I really hate myself that much? Maybe... this too isn't a real demon after all.

[Rayalicious 435]

I see what you mean there, anytime i get in a fight i try to keep cool so that i don't actually assault him hard enough to bleed or something because once (the first time actually i really wanted to hurt someone ) i punched him enough, and at some point bit  him, and got very criticized since then,about the fact that I am not human and bla bla bla all BS.But now i try to keep it simple even when arguing with people who stick to their ideas(even if it's wrong) or else i usually yell at them :/

[~Silver Essence~ 2,625]

My inner demon represents a demonic monster that even scares me at times...

As I get engulfed in darkness, I begin to look rather menacing by serious looks and no emotion, also to the point where others step back or avoid eye contact because of how dark I can be at times.

 

I become so dark, my own family state that they fear me when I turn like this, to the point where even I feel saddened and powerful at the same time.

 

I always make sure to stay withing darkness where it's acceptable, and not to the point where I become a different person....

[Noei 718]

Well...sometimes I can be truly sadistic,cruel and hateful.

 

(Just sometimes ^^)

Edited July 30, 2015 by Noei

[Sunwalker 981]

I would say that my inner demon is my impatience and difficulty to forget certain stuuff. I am generally quite approachable, but I let small things that I didn't like to build up and rehash inside me. After a while I became cranky, which in the eyes of others is for no apparently no reason... I am managing to control myself, though

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

My inner demon, the person I don't want to become... and yet the person I may end up being forced to become...

That demon is cruelty. That means being insensitive to the pain of others and even that of my own. Yet every day I am tempted to become like this. That is, to think that I can't spare time or thought for anyone else because it's just a waste of time. To think that I am alone in my struggles because either nobody will be bothered to help or are seeking an opportunity to further their own interests. It is to allow myself to become just another monster in a world that's absolutely filled with them.

 

It's hard to stay warm in a world that is so cold.

[Tellurium 74]

[deleted for personal reasons]

Edited July 20, 2017 by Tellurium

[JonasDarkmane 19,785]

I do have an inner demon, that wants to break free and do what I fear of doing to others. It is horrible and I will not open up about it, sadly.