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Self Harming...


Commander Bubbles

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On 1/21/2019 at 11:24 PM, Cpl_Dixon said:

No. Can't say I really have. The only time I can think of, is when I am really pissed, I punch myself in the head. I haven't done that in quite some time though.

That’s kind of how it is w/me, too. If I do it at all, it’s stuff I’d do out of aggression at myself (like pulling my hair really hard which hurts so bad afterwards so I’m not sure why I do it 😖). A lot of it too is just thoughts and only thoughts cause my brain likes to be self deprecatory sometimes. 

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Boom!

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No, it's something I've thankfully never done even at my worst times. And in my experience (not from self-harm but otherwise), physical pain just makes me feel worse in every way. It might have something to do with my hypersensitivity to pain, but physical suffering is the worst for me.

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It has been a problem for me. It happened frequently enough to the point where I had to be in hospital for a few weeks. Not my greatest moment.


At first I rejected the zero, but that was because I simply didn't understand it. Now I do.

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On 3/21/2014 at 7:07 PM, Commander Bubbles said:

Has anyone self harmed here before? I've been doing it a lot in addition to a bit of drinking with my recent situations...

if you wanna know, better tell us the story of why, because I know A lot about it...if you wish to talk PM me

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Self harm... a tricky subject to handle.

I bite my fingernails... but wait, does that count?  Well, it's a habit I picked up as a teenager, and it's not just 'oh, I bite off the tips of my nails', either.  I've bitten them to the quick, bitten them 'til they bled, and bitten them until they got infected... then purposefully messed with the sore/infected area, just for the sensation it gave.  Even done my nails some real damage before, and had to grow it back out at least four or five times in my life.

It's not exactly a life-threatening self-harm, but as it's a nervous habit of mine, and it routinely brings pain... it does count.

As for other forms?  Well, I have a dear, close friend who used to slice little lines across his arms and legs; nothing horribly bloody, just small red lines.  Still, it bothered me terribly to see him do it.  However, he knew his limits and respected himself enough to not cause any permanent damage, nor did he ever self-harm to the point where he couldn't function (no hospital visits), so... I didn't feel it was within reason to say anything about it.

Eventually, he grew out of it - but to this day, I admit that, though worrisome, some people simply have a different idea of what constitutes as 'release'.  As long as what they do is controlled, careful and doesn't cause lasting harm... then I suppose it has its' place.  It still bothers me, yeah, but I have to remember that I'm not them; I have no idea why they release in such a way, but I empathize with the idea that it helps these folks to get through their own personal pain.

Know your limits, is all I feel I can say about it.  Don't do harm your body can't easily recover from.  Because THAT is when it goes from being a release to being a problem.

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Fnord.

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Life is harmful enough without me adding more to it voluntarily. Pain doesn't make me feel better and it's not good to dwell on the negatives because it only makes me re-live bad things and makes them worse. I have never done anything harmful to myself and doubt I ever would. I'm truly sorry for those who feel the need to do so. 

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17 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

Self harm... a tricky subject to handle.

I bite my fingernails... but wait, does that count?  Well, it's a habit I picked up as a teenager, and it's not just 'oh, I bite off the tips of my nails', either.  I've bitten them to the quick, bitten them 'til they bled, and bitten them until they got infected... then purposefully messed with the sore/infected area, just for the sensation it gave.  Even done my nails some real damage before, and had to grow it back out at least four or five times in my life.

It's not exactly a life-threatening self-harm, but as it's a nervous habit of mine, and it routinely brings pain... it does count.

As for other forms?  Well, I have a dear, close friend who used to slice little lines across his arms and legs; nothing horribly bloody, just small red lines.  Still, it bothered me terribly to see him do it.  However, he knew his limits and respected himself enough to not cause any permanent damage, nor did he ever self-harm to the point where he couldn't function (no hospital visits), so... I didn't feel it was within reason to say anything about it.

Eventually, he grew out of it - but to this day, I admit that, though worrisome, some people simply have a different idea of what constitutes as 'release'.  As long as what they do is controlled, careful and doesn't cause lasting harm... then I suppose it has its' place.  It still bothers me, yeah, but I have to remember that I'm not them; I have no idea why they release in such a way, but I empathize with the idea that it helps these folks to get through their own personal pain.

Know your limits, is all I feel I can say about it.  Don't do harm your body can't easily recover from.  Because THAT is when it goes from being a release to being a problem.

Even if the cuts are not deep it still means or usually means that your mental anguish is bad enough that you feel the need to lash out at your own person....that's what makes it truly sad....

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  • 3 weeks later...
(edited)
On 12/31/2019 at 12:09 AM, Sherem said:

if you wanna know, better tell us the story of why, because I know A lot about it...if you wish to talk PM me

Hey guys, uh... To be honest I have completely forgotten about creating this thread and only came back when I saw a notification pop up in my email (even though I've moved on from the fandom I still visit this forum to talk to old friends on occasion). I'm kind of surprised that this thread continues to get posts in here, but just know that the OP isn't representative of how I am now. I've managed to find ways to overcome said vices and hurtful "coping mechanisms" in the span of 6 odd years. For everyone visiting this thread, put the knife down and talk to someone. I'm serious. One of the biggest things that help me is to unpack my emotions, accept that it's okay to feel how I feel, but at the same time hold myself accountable for not letting myself do anything self-destructive to cope.

Honestly it's so frustrating to look back through my post history and see my old self push so many people away to wallow (which is dumb and unhealthy) like this. Everyone deserves someone in their corner, and my inbox is always open for anyone that needs someone too. Keep an open mind no matter how hard it may be and always look to prove if your negative thoughts are valid or not; it's the only way I was able to find to free myself from my own prison. You matter.

Edited by Commander Bubbles
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Gotta learn stuff through denial and error.

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