Dreambiscuit

I show it by disregarding something offensive someone does, if I can. If they act out of ignorance I try to chalk it up to a work in progress and hope they’ll figure it all out someday. But even the ones who irritate me the most are still brothers and sisters to me, so I try to treat them as such if I can. I’m not always successful to be honest, but I’m a work of progress too, so hopefully someone will tolerate me until I figure things out one day.

I already posted my faves but I want to add the Gumbo Limbo tree, which grows all over where I live. It’s pretty in its own dusty, peeling sort of way.

I cut mine on May 18th. Just a trim; nothing too shocking to behold. (But then again, I can’t see it from the back, so if I feel a strong tailwind of laughter I’ll know I did something wrong).

I actively try to avoid anything resembling a social life. It ain't my natural habitat and I'd rather just disappear into the background.

I hope you remember to come back. We’ll still remember you...if we're sober enough.

A black Star Wars t-shirt with TIE Fighters in metallic silver, and denim shorts.

I’ve never had an IQ test but I’d say I’m fairly intelligent, or so the illusion is maintained, provided I surround myself with total imbeciles. I lose mental sharpness as I get older, so I still have the intelligence I once had but it’s harder to access and takes more effort to use. Keeping in mind that intelligence is a matter of wisdom and mental acuity rather than memorization of facts (and being unaware of what the rest of the world bases its template of intelligence on) it’s hard to say what should be called intelligence, and whether or not that standard actually applies universally.

I’ve tried counting sheep but it never worked for me. I get too bored and my mind wanders to things that interest me more and therefore keep me awake even longer. One thing I have tried is quieting my mind and listening to my own heartbeat, which for some reason seems to help somewhat.

My family (aside from myself) doesn’t like anything spicy, or anything with onions. They’re onion-phobic; if they even think there’s an onion in something, no matter how miniscule an amount, they claim they can taste it and feign sickness over it. Many times I’ve put finely chopped onions in their food that they didn’t know about and, being unaware, they were somehow just fine. And they can’t handle anything spicier than ketchup, which is crazy. I like to eat food I can actually taste so I grew up missing out on a lot of good stuff, but I’m making up for it now (oink oink).

To be honest I’m fine with all my junk. I have a lot of it and I always maintained the same conviction in owning it. I like the same stuff I’ve liked since I reached the age of reason and I’ve never changed. That may make me a bit one-note but that’s me.

I’ve had radical OCD since I was a teenager. I overcame it with logic, prayer and the help of my family. I also deal with depression, and I recently took steps to address the problem with doctors. I was given the wrong meds, which did more harm than good, and was assigned therapy, which I didn’t attend. In many cases, clinical treatments are useful, but I know me better than the docs I decided instead to manage the problem the same way I always have; by myself, using logic and self-analysis. So far my efforts have been fruitful. For me, a big problem was that my brain was all dressed up with nowhere to go. It was chewing itself up trying to be active and useful, but had nowhere to apply itself. So it turned inward and became self-destructive. Now I’ve given myself a goal to actively work toward, an array of activities to keep me on track, and a reward at the end. Now I feel better, I’m not on meds, and I have hope for the future. It’s not always easy. Mental issues are terrifying. But it’s not hopeless either, so never give up. I know that sounds like fortune cookie BS, but in this case it’s also true.

I'm working my way through a fistful of chocolate mint cookies and a diet cola. They'll hold me over till I can get something truly fattening down the hatch.

I’m obsessed with: Star Wars, Vintage Disney, Imagineering, Art, Japanese culture, Travel, My family.

Hard to pin down just one when there are so many vying for that dubious honor. So here’s the dishonor roll of notable sinkholes of habitation: Tijuana, Mexico: It’s filthy, plain and simple. Whatever the poverty level is, there’s no excuse for dumping garbage on your own doorstep; they make receptacles for that sort of thing. And the people I met there were uniformly rude. No thanks. San Francisco, CA: For a city that’s so well-known for its beauty, this place is a toilet and you wouldn’t want to see it up close. It’s ugly, run-down and everything about it makes me feel like I need to delouse after I leave. And every imaginable form of human degeneracy seems to congregate there. Little Rock, AR: Speaking of the great un-flushed! This place gets a special prize for filth, crime and the feeling that you can never get out of your locked car for fear of being accosted in one way or another. And there’s nothing scenic about it to justify this place. Hard pass.

I have one but I never use it. I always watch my movies on my regular home dvd player or on my iPod if I’m travelling and need something portable. But portable dvd players can be very cool because they give you a bigger screen than a phone, and you can still use dvds rather than having to download a movie or transfer something to a flash stick.

This is so cool. I love seeing familiar faces, especially at work when it’s so important to have something happy around. It’s like having family visit unexpectedly. I like the bling too; pony’s gotta shine!

I LOVE lucid dreams but I’ve only experienced them fleetingly. Usually, the moment I realize I’m lucid dreaming I get excited and wake right up. I’ve long tried to induce such dreams, like keeping a dream diary and trying to remember regular dreams I’ve had after I wake up, just to train the brain, but I haven’t had any notable luck. The few instances of lucid dreams I’ve had lasted just a moment each time and involved cartoon characters; Yakko, Wakko and Dot, and Plucky Duck. The former involved me riding a roller coaster cart past the three Warners, and touching their very soft and rubbery faces as I passed them by. The latter dream had me in a strange honeycomb-like setting with Plucky; not doing anything of note but just studying the strange consistency of the walls. I remember one other where I was just looking out a normal window and noting the realism of the windowsill and realizing it was a lucid dream before I promptly jolted awake. I love lucid dreams and would love to have them all the time if I could.

I have some flavored coffee creamers that I sometimes use, although most of the time I just have my coffee black with sugar cuz it’s quick and easy. As for tea, I usually buy flavored tea, so it doesn’t need much beyond sugar, but if I’m feeling under the weather I often add lemon, honey and a little rum.

I got a letter from the Society of the Little Flower but I haven’t opened it yet. My mail usually piles up for about three days before I get around to reading it.

I was watching an incredibly stupid movie with my mom today and it made me laugh. Sometimes it's the really low-brow stuff that scores.

I love crepes, Napoleons and any kind of cookie. I like chocolate but I tend more toward other flavors given the choice.

Ooh! I LOVE random crap! Most of my apartment is inundated in the stuff. And sure, I’d love to buy more, like Star Wars stuff (as always), the novelizations of the entire Gun Gale Online universe, and lots and lots of those cool anime figurines they make for every imaginable series. They make such great sculpts of anime characters, I just want to load up; too bad they’re so expensive. The list goes on and on.

Two days ago for me. I was a tad distraught and hating myself for my failings, coupled with a few other annoyances and some confusions thrown in. Sounds like a nice little crap casserole. I'm better now though.

I am who I am and I don’t think I act differently based on where I am, either consciously or unconsciously. I’m the same pain in the backside in real life as I am here…but I wear different earrings.

I always stay up past three. Three A.M. is like everyone else’s three P.M. I’m a night owl so my schedule is on the flip side of everyone else’s, or at least the majority’s. Three in the morning is the middle of my day.