Hypnotize Yourself to be a Rock - Directions Included

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

You're here for one reason, and one reason only: you wish to be a rock.  Because there does not exist a nobler inanimate object, nor could there possibly be a nobler pursuit than becoming said inanimate object.  Well, fortunately for you, I know of a way.  To best realize your human potential...  For becoming a rock.  But let's not dally.  Okay, let's dally some.  *Dallies.*  Enough dallying!  Let us commence with the becoming of the rock.

 

Read all the steps ahead of time; before attempting to follow them.  The journey to rock must be an uninterrupted one.

 

Step 1: Empty your mind of everything.  Of words.  Of images.  Of worries and of sounds.  A rock has no need for these trivial things!  A rock is a rock is a rock.  It need only BE.

 

Step 2: Now, FEEL your body becoming heavy.  Becoming somewhat lumpy - or smooth.  It matters not.  Whether you be gray or a lighter shade of gray or some other shade of gray I haven't thought of is of no importance.  It does not matter what you look like on the outside; it is the INSIDE that matters.  And on the inside, you are a rock.

 

Step 3: No movement.  Stop.  I said stop it!  Rocks do not MOVE!  They've no need for locomotion.  A rock sits where it sits and makes the best of it.  Perhaps a child will happen upon that rock and attempt, unsuccessfully most times, to skip it across a body of water.  The rock does not care.  It is but a rock and has no cares or woes or understanding of what a child is or does.  And now it is a wet rock.

 

Step 4: BE the rock.  BE still be quiet be gray be lumpy or smooth be BE be - just BE!

 

Step 5: There is no step five because you are now a rock.  Your greatest dream as a human has been realized, and now that you are a rock - you don't especially care.  You are welcome - even though you no longer feel gratitude.  I accept your silence as a "thank you."

[Sugar Pea 2,682]

I have become one with the rock. :3
 
 

Edited August 18, 2014 by Nature Of Fluttershy

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

I have become one with the rock. :3

 

 

Excellent.  You are my greatest and thus far only pupil.  You can not hear or understand me because you have attained rockiness, but know that I am proud.

[Callisto 1,877]

I feel...empty, but full. Light, but heavy. Brown, but gray. Like a...rock. I have become one with stone and gravel. I am at peace.

[longgone 873]

I enjoy this topic way more than I should o.o

[Simon 4,557]

This topic being as delightfully silly as it is would be best placed in the lounge, so it is being moved there.

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

I feel...empty, but full. Light, but heavy. Brown, but gray. Like a...rock. I have become one with stone and gravel. I am at peace.

Exceptional.  You are also my greatest pupil, even though I already have a greatest pupil.  You are both my equally greatest rock-becoming pupils.

[SCS 7,536]

This is the most fucking beautiful thing I have read all day.

 

I'm totally going to do this later. 

 

MY LIFE IS CHANGED

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

MY LIFE IS CHANGED

That is why I do this thing; to bring about change.  Largely into rocks.  But also into smaller, pebble-things.  And sometimes into very large rocks - called boulders by some.  It is most gratifying.

[longgone 873]

WAIT!

 

What if I want to hypnotize myself to be a STONE?

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

WAIT!

 

What if I want to hypnotize myself to be a STONE?

Regrettably, I am but a master of leading people on the path of the rock.  Though I don't imagine the becoming a stone process is all that dissimilar.  Try replacing all instances of "rock" with "stone" and see how it pans out.  I WISH YOU THE BEST!

[Sunshower Raindrops 3,227]

I can not wait to become a pony vegetable. My long life dreams will finally be complete.

[Sir Fluffernutter 435]

Thank you, dear sir, for now I am not just a boulder, I'm a rock. A big, beautiful, old rock.