writing In the Final Strike - Lyrical Poetry

[Marcato 2,143]

The eyes of evil we once feared

A song of triumph to our ears

through flames together in the night

Fighting forever for what's right

 

In the final strike our hearts prevail

A silent wind will pierce the veil

As the dawning theme of hope in light

Draws back the strings in times delight

 

A cry escapes the soundless fate

This twisted game brings only hate

We run into the clash of blades

To find our purpose in this shade

 

In the final strike our hearts prevail

A silent wind will pierce the veil

As the dawning theme of hope in light

Draws back the strings in times delight

 

throughout the grips of sorrow's hands

A shining glimmer ignites the lands

The evil forces we faced for all

Retreat for now their master calls

 

The battle has ended

The hope of faithfulness

The lives we defended

From the powers of darkness

 

In the final strike our hearts prevail

A silent wind will pierce the veil

As the dawning theme of hope in light

Draws back the strings in times delight

 

(This is my first publically released poem. Its a lyrical poem writen to follow a tune, so things may not entirely match up.)

Edited April 7, 2012 by Silver Arrow

[Ra1nbowCrasH 272]

I have never been much of a fan for poetry; so this means alot coming from me: Nice!

[Dragonshy 2,305]

I like it, meaning in a short and sweet size, that's hard to do. Good job!

[Aureity 3,055]

A very nice poem, well done!

 

I only have one comment: Line 10. "Its far too strong to fight the hate". What exactly is "Its" refering to? It doesn't seem to match up with either "cry" or "fate".

[Marcato 2,143]

A very nice poem, well done!

 

I only have one comment: Line 10. "Its far too strong to fight the hate". What exactly is "Its" refering to? It doesn't seem to match up with either "cry" or "fate".

 

Hmm... good point. Can't believe I missed that. I'll fix it up.

 

Thank you everyone for your comments! This has encouraged me to post more of my poetry online here!

 

EDIT: Fixed paragraph:

A cry escapes the soundless fate

This twisted game brings only hate

We run into the clash of blades

To find our purpose in this shade

Edited April 7, 2012 by Silver Arrow

[Mephala 2,633]

I'm a huge poetry person, and that was actually pretty good! Nice job!

[Guest]

I really like it!