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What made you happy today?


Haruhi-chan

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Spending time with my mother. Sometimes, I just become afraid of the inevitable. Since we are little out there. And there are no contingency plans for what to do in case of an emergency.

And I would often compare what my grandmother told to her, in case something happened, with what my mother is telling me. But nothing my mother says makes any sense.
But it is comforting, regardless. Since this is my language, too.
I guess that is the reason I stayed with her all these years. That we are not entirely sane. And that is comforting but also frightening.
Because her words are not real. But they blind me to reality, regardless. And the fear fades away at the expense of my mental state.
It is a such a simplistic viewpoint. But so innacurate. That I am carrying with the knowledge on my own. So, I start sinking while she goes up and up. And I become unstable for real.
But I don't want to get her down to reality, because she is unable to deal with it. I have tried many times already. Her father died trying. And he was mentally healthy, unlike myself. So, I have to go insane instead.

I have actually tied my life to hers. Ever since I was like five, and she was sleeping in her bed. And I tried to wake her up, but she wasn't moving. And for a moment I experienced the fear of what it was gonna be like to live without her.
And I knew I was not gonna be able to make it without her. The same thing always happened when I went away. She became erratic and violent. So, we are bound to one another.

I have started mourning her in advance. And I am making the most of my time with her. And this was the plan all along. Everything I did felt like an excuse to protect the reality of my family. An attempt to prolong my time with her. So we could stay together. And have peace. And we had it, and it was awesome. Inside our little world. And it was not what it was meant to be, originally. Considering my genetic traits. Which is the reason I am so bitter and resentful, too. But I was happy nonetheless. And the fear. Well, it comes from that inevitable knowledge.

So, whatever happens, happens. I already told her everything, so she doesn't have to worry about my future in vain. But yeah. That is what made me happy. To be with her.

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Watched Super Mario Bros movie with some relatives. My aunt specially knows how much of a Mario fan I’ve been since I was a child :Pip-giggle:

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What made me happy today was an art that @Dynamo Padhas made for my sona and his sona discovering a cute pokemon in the bushes. Thank you so much, friend. I needed something like that. :coco:

Another thing that made me happy was talking to @SolaceFall. Good friends like him and @CocoCodyare so easy to talk to! 

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(edited)
14 hours ago, nepeta said:

I went to the museum

And saw ducks

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IMG_20230701_130935253.thumb.jpg.3b213296a4b82ca8afe2742e47c85df3.jpg

 

:squee: Look at how adorable ♡ :BrightMacContent:

Spoiler

@CocoCody @Silky the smol talking with both of you!

^^^:o .... I'm still not convinced about wanting to go on a cruise.... (definitely wasn't happy for those poor people on the ship in that video :sunny:*

Edited by SolaceFall
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Marblepiesig2.png.fb6ac098bee1c85c0acf52419aab2729.png

 

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23 minutes ago, SolaceFall said:

:squee: Look at how adorable ♡ :BrightMacContent:

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@CocoCody @Silky the smol talking with both of you!

^^^:o .... I'm still not convinced about wanting to go on a cruise.... 

omg I went on a cruise many a time and this is just some isolated incident. I DID see some REALLY stormy clouds in the distance once, though but I think the cruise diverted it. Holy crow, that was TERRIFYING. Plus, the floor moves underneath your feet if you stop to sense it. Not big deal. Until you're in the MALL SECTIONS! LOL It's so uncanny.

I didn't like how everywhere you look, you're surrounded by water. THAT was also uncanny lol

But overall, what made me happy today was going shopping for some gifts for some friends :coco:

 

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