Help for my fanfic?

[yisetab28 89]

So, I've been writing a fanfic for a while, and I need feedback to know where to go. The story is set 25 years after the main events of the canon show, after using the "Rainbow Power" has drained all the magic from Eqeustria, and centers around a Tiger tank from Luna's army fighting in a war against Celestia. I would need feedback on how the events were introduced, how the characters are and also some name ideas for the tank commander. The story is in the attached files. So, any criticism?

The 30th Tiger, Part 1 .txt

Edited April 11, 2015 by MCAsomm

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

Perhaps if you want to portray the tank crew as the good guys, you shouldn't put them in a Nazi tank.

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Perhaps if you want to portray the tank crew as the good guys, you shouldn't put them in a Nazi tank.

Yes, doing that only makes them look like the villains.

[yisetab28 89]

Yes, doing that only makes them look like the villains.

 

Perhaps if you want to portray the tank crew as the good guys, you shouldn't put them in a Nazi tank.

 

 

They are not necessarily  the "good guys" as we always see them in the movies or books. I know the Tiger was a tank built by Henschel in Nazi Germany, but putting them in a Sherman or a T-34 wouldn't change the fact that they are still soldiers, and that soldiers kill people. It's like saying that someone going in and killing other soldiers using a Sten sub machine gun is acceptable, but if he wields a MP40, he is not the good guy. These are just weapons, and do not change the character's minds. Some of them may not want to serve in the Panzer divisions, some of them may want to, but making them drive a Nazi tank does not change anything to that.

 

In the war, some Soviet soldiers murdered and raped civilians, some did not. Some British, American, Japanese and German soldiers also did, and some did not. A German tank man is not automatically a ruthless killer or a stupid brute, and a British infantry men is not automatically a charismatic hero who protects the widow and the orphan. This is war, and war changes how people react, as they are left alone out there, with the mission to kill the most people and destroy the most equipment they can.

Edited April 12, 2015 by Blitzkrieg