Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

  They're actually minerals.

 

  My favorite scientist? Ken Ham.

 

Trilbies are in this season!

 

 Oh dear... Does anypony know a grizzly bear midwife?

 

Drew Carey. *bzzt*

 

Rarijack ain't gonna happen, Bronies. Ah'm sorry, but I'm just old fashioned that way. Marriage is between a man and his sister.

 

My mane's blonde now. That was just a phase.

[Singe 2,111]

Applejack: Why would Svengallop demand 500 prepared apples in 24 hours?

Pinkie Pie: Maybe because they're working a charity concert for free and they have to feed the crew for days once they leave. Some of those ponies are very particular about their apples. Who are you to judge?

Applejack: Sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

Pinkie Pie: Next thing, you'll be telling Countess Coloratura something dumb like ditch her manager and change her image.

Applejack: Pinkie...

Pinkie Pie: Seriously, don't. You have no idea of the ramifications that could happen.

Applejack: But...

Pinkie Pie: I worked hard and bent over every way to Pinkie promise them Countess Coloratura. So do me a favor Applejack and drop it until after the concert.

Applejack: Okay. Sheeesh. 

Edited November 28, 2015 by Singe

[Suri Polomare 2]

Cutie Mark Crusaders: We aren't bored

Celestia: Let me handle this on my own

Rainbow Dash: Hi Fluttershy! I am so excited to see you! You are my bestest friend ever!

[Singe 2,111]

Starlight Glimmer: This spell right here. *Kisses the spell.* I just couldn't contain my excitement. Hope you don't mind that I ruined your bedroom. *Evil laugh.*

 

Applejack: Big Mac, we need to talk about your stash of pictures.

 

Cheerilee: That weird colt is hanging around the school again.

 

Glida: I have a better idea, I'm just going to eat you. *Eats Pinkie.*

 

Celestia: Today you have all learned a valuable lesson about not being a dumb-flank.

 

Discord: I've made it where random words will be censored and trick the parents into thinking you're all cussing.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Come on ponies, can't you all pull your heads out of your flanks for a few minutes and listen.

 

Rarity: All green ponies are jealous with envy, just like how all yellow ponies are cowards.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I just finished a book on Sensual Experiences with Magic.

 

Rarity: One minute Pinkie was annoying me. So I poke her with a needle and she deflated into that.

 

Applejack: Rarity picked a fight with the wrong pony and got her tail ripped out.

Edited November 28, 2015 by Singe

[Flying Vantas 107]

Rarity: FUCK!

Twilight: brohoof dis if u think appuljak is best pwny

RD: Darling, you must wear a shit ton of makeup, everypwny's doing it.

Fluttershy: I want to light someone on fire and tie Discord in knots.

AppleJack: This sentence is a lie.

Pinkie Pie: I like garlic.

[OceanSapphire 227]

Rarity: Yes Spike, I will have your babies.

[Singe 2,111]

Applejack: Look at what that crooked manager said in the paper. Svengallop said I took Countess Coloratura away from her fans by brainwashing her.

Pinkie Pie: I don't blame him.

Applejack: Pinkie.

Fan Pony: Thanks a lot Applejack. Now all my Countess Coloratura stuff is meaning less. Why did you have to ruin this for us?

Rarity: That reminds me, Sapphire Shores wanted me to give you this gift basket as thanks for helping her get the number 1 spot again.

 

Starlight Glimmer: So all the timelines are hell if you aren't around. That's seriously *bleep* up.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Sunset Shimmer: Flash Sentry tried to make himself president of the "Twilight Sparkle Fan Club" and didn't live through it.

 

Rainbow Dash: I faintly recall being abused at Flight Camp.

 

Starlight Glimmer: I'm not sorry for what I did. Twilight just convinced me that this revenge plan wasn't in the best interests. So I made a deal with her for immunity for all my wrong doings and I get a grant of land to do what I wish without interference from the Princesses.

 

Rainbow Dash: So my Rainboom was that important.

Applejack: Oh God, her ego is going over 9000.

Rainbow Dash: It's Princess Rainbow Dash's time now. My title will be Princess of the Sky. Then, I'm going to tell every one of you that your current satisfying lives wouldn't be possible without me. I'm going to shove it in your faces if we have a disagreement in the future.

 

Twilight Sparkle: The invention of the bathroom is what allowed our civilization to flourish.

 

Spike: So...um...I'm just going to sit in the corner for the rest of the day.

 

Discord: Chaos Control! *Stops time.*

Edited December 3, 2015 by Singe

[GiFTGewEhrSCHutzen-4 8,831]

P. Luna: Sister, have you gain weight? *Sees Celestia in her bedroom full of boxed cakes from Sugarcube Corner*

 

P. Cadence: In the place of a Dark King Sombra you would have a Princess! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of Equestria! All shall love me and despair!

 

Spike: Twilight, have you seen my Deadpool comic book collection?

 

Twilight: Why would they use my name for a vampire novel?!

 

Rainbow Dash: Finished reading all of the Daring Do books, I wonder if Twilight's done reading the Fifty Shades trilogy?

Edited December 3, 2015 by PONinja4

[FlootahBabby 265]

Twilight: You know, I actually kind of miss being a unicorn

 

Marble Pie: Hi

[One-Punch Man 316]

Fluttershy: "You know what would go good with the roasted turkey? Other roasted critters! Man, this oven Twilight found is the best."

[Hazy Skies 1,010]

Anypony: Pffft, screw friendship

Anypony: I HATE YOU!

Anypony: (insert swear word in sentence)

 

Twilight: Oh, i haven't read that one yet!

Twilight: I don't like being an Alicorn

Twilight: I don't wanna be a princess anymore

Twilight: Pffft.. who needs a schedule.. not me!

Twilight: Time to make stuff messy and unorganized

 

Applejack: Wonder what other things we could grow on the farm other than apples..

Applejack: Nah, I'll do that later..

Applejack: Work? What's that?

Applejack: What? You're telling me you aint never seen a hoe before?

 

Rarity: That's enough glitter

Rarity: That dress look absolutely horrible!

Rarity: Who was the fashion novice who made your awful dress?

Rarity: I love you too Spike

 

Fluttershy: I'M SHOUTING!!

Fluttershy: Those animals will be fine without my constant attention.. ... Right?

Fluttershy: Chop down the forests!

Fluttershy: Boo!

Fluttershy: You're ugly

Fluttershy: I hope something bad happens to you

Fluttershy: (insert other mean phrases here)

 

Pinkie Pie: No more parties!

Pinkie Pie: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pinkie Pie: I don't have anything else to do today

Pinkie Pie: Oh, Hi audience!

Pinkie Pie: Lololololololol!

Pinkie Pie: I'm being annoying!

 

Rainbow Dash: Nah, I'll just walk..

Rainbow Dash: You win

Rainbow Dash: Who's Tank?

Rainbow Dash: Who cares about the contest that i can enter..

 

Derpy: Derp

Derpy: Eeew.. Muffins..

 

Dr. Hooves: Time to fix the Tardis

Dr. Hooves: Sonic screwdriver

Dr. Hooves: I'm the doctor (Would be awesome if he said that in the show though )

 

Scootaloo: I don't like Rainbow Dash

 

Sweetie belle: Must.. terminate.. all organic lifeforms..

Sweetie belle: I am not, a robot..

 

Applebloom: Maybe i SHOULDN'T annoy my sister today..

Applebloom: Maybe i should go play with my big brother too

 

CMC: Let's go get our cutie marks! YEAH!

 

Luna: What are YOU going to do sister.. huh? banish me to the moon or something?! HMM?!

 

Celestia: I'm actually going to help out for once!

Celestia: I'm here to save the day!

Celestia: To the mooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaahhhhhhh! BEEEEYYIIIICCCCCCHHHH!!!!

 

...

 

I'll post some more later

Edited December 3, 2015 by AURAequine

[DarkDark5p 3]

Twilight ( after having her cutie mark stolen): What... What are you?

 

Starlight Glimmer: ( approaching her slowly) I am the solution.

 

Screen fades to black.

 

 

If you get that reference, post something else related to the show I'm referencing!

________________________________

Anything confirming the love between an under age dragon and a white, clearly over 20 unicorn.

 

Show would be banned in most countries if that ever happens on screen.

[Hazy Skies 1,010]

Anything confirming the love between an under age dragon and a white, clearly over 20 unicorn.

 

Show would be banned in most countries if that ever happens on screen.

 

Wouldn't that like.. depend on the age in dragon terms and pony terms?

Like.. if a Dragon lives for 500 years (as an example) and normal ponies only live for 200 or so.. (again, as an example..)

Then if Rarity is 20 in pony years.. and Spike was like.. idk.. 11? he would be like.. 28 in pony years.. or something..

 

Wait.. but he was hatched by Twilight when she was just a filly.. so he's clearly younger than her..

Hmmm..

I retract my previous statement..

[Kivil 1,721]

AJ: Yum yum yum, pears

Rarity: Green is my new favorite mane color

Twilight: I hate all of my books

FLuttershy: I wish these animals could leave me alone

Rainbow: I hate the wonderbolts they suck

Pinkie: I am tired of parties....

[Singe 2,111]

Previously on Friendship is Magic...

Pinkie Pie: I've set the party bomb to give everyone the biggest surprise ever and none of you will be able to stop it. *Demented laugh.*

Applejack: Rarity which wire do I cut?

Rarity: Um...um....

Applejack: Rarity!

Rarity: I'm color blind. *Cries.* We're all going to die!

Applejack: What?!

Discord: I've made Spike eat the Elements of Harmony. If you want them back, you're going to have to operate on him.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry Spike and I love you.

Spike: No, please don't!

Luna: Sister, you have toilet paper on your back hoof. *Chuckles.*

Celestia: Oh, that's embarrassing.

*Cue intro.*

[Singe 2,111]

Nightmare Moon: Only I should control such power.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I will tell you Nightmare Moon.

Spike: More like Nightmare Loon. Get it because she's crazy.

Nightmare Moon: Execute the dragon!

Spike: *Dragged off.* *Cries.* No, please I'm too young to die! Oh, hey Rarity.

Rarity: Let me do it. The last few times it was a complete mess all over the floor and walls. Do you think Nightmare Moon appreciates having her beautiful decor ruined this way.

[Cirrus. 1,093]

Any of the other mane 6 : "Pinkie... What the fuck are you doing?"

 

Any of the other mane 6 : "Pinkie, did you forget to take your pills again?."

 

 

 

 

Daring Do (a.k.a. A.K. Yearling) and Rainbow Dash

 

Daring: "Rainbow, whatever you're thinking about doing please don't do it. Rainbow for Celestia's-

 

Rainbow: "Shhhhh. Yearling, trust me."

 

Daring: "Celestia's sake"

 

Rainbow: "It's for the best."

 

Daring: "RAINBOW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[Thwack!!!]

 

Daring: "AAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!"

 

 

Rainbow Dash: obsessed fan of a writer.(Annie)  Daring Do: Said writer (Paul)

 

 

 

Sorry, I'm in a rather dark mood today.

Edited December 12, 2015 by Cirrus.

[Miles 2,513]

 

Discord:       Do you wanna know where I got these scars...?

 

Hahaha, that line would be well suited for him.

 

Sunset Shimmer: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Rarity: And they're like It's better than yours.

Rainbow Dash: Dang right it's better than yours.

Pinkie Pie: I can teach you.

Applejack: But I have to charge.

 

LMAO!  

---

I'm feeling some song reference jokes.    

Gummy: Hello, is it me you're looking for?

Pinkie Pie: Du.  Du hast.  Du hast mich...

Rainbow Dash: I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...

Fluttershy: I'm headstrong, I'll take you on; I'm headstrong, I'll take on anyone!

Rarity: Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser, baby...

Cadence: Started from the bottom now we're here.

Celestia: All I can say is that my life is pretty plain...  I like watching the puddles gather rain!

Luna: Sweet dreams are made of these - who am I to disagree?

Maud: So pardon me while I burst, into flames!  I've had enough of this world, and its peoples mindless games...

Derpy: Just lose it (Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah)!

Big Mac: If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I'd've been married a long time ago!

Granny Smith: Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy!

Spike: Every morning there's a halo wrapped around the corner of girlfriend's four-post bed...

(Highly doubt anyone knows this next one)

 

Applejack: Operator, Operator, put me through to Decatur!

(And I saved this longer one for last)

Twilight: Indestructible

Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side
A terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while you're alive

I'm an indestructible master of war!

~ Miles

[Singe 2,111]

Applejack: Truth.

Twilight Sparkle: Tell us something you believe in deeply.

Applejack: I believe unicorns are lazy for using magic to do mundane tasks and the world would be safer without them going astray drowning in their own corruption.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Applejack thanks for telling us that.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer you need to stop.

Starlight Glimmer: There is nothing you can do to stop me.

Twilight Sparkle: I'll pay you 1,000,000 bits to stop.

Starlight Glimmer: You think money is going to fix what you did to me?... Hell, yeah. You get to keep your precious bonds. I expect to be paid when we return and there is no recourse.

Twilight Sparkle: I agree to your terms.

Spike: Wow, you used the power of MONEY!!!

 

Twilight Sparkle: Spike digivolved into his Champion form and is running out of control.

 

Zecora: If Spike's greed grows, you will lose him.

Twilight Sparkle: Is there any thing I can do?

Zecora: I would suggest a spray bottle of water or a rolled up newspaper. A leash would also work as you can choke him if he misbehaves. Though a shock collar is what I would prefer the most. 

 

Rarity: Spike what happened to your tongue?

Spike: That ******* took my gem for the last time. I don't regret our separation.

 

Pinkie Pie: Sorry about the psychotic murderous clown incident. I'll give you a full refund. At least it's a memory that you'll never forget.

Edited December 13, 2015 by Singe

[best poni 1,521]

Rainbow Dash: You know, I'm really not that awesome

Cherilee: I'm glad Big Mac is cheating on me with Marble Pie

[bluseymoe 258]

Celestia: Do I have to do everything around here?!

[Singe 2,111]

Princess Luna: Only in your wildest dreams would I ever be romantically involved with you.

[PrymeStriker 408]

Any Character: "I enjoy spending time with Rainbow Dash. I enjoy her company." 

 

#REKT

[-Nobody- 534]

Spike: I'm not a useless character!