offering critique The Delicate Art of Pony OCs

[AnArtisticPontato 91]

 I have realized in the many years I've been drawing and making characters, that making a good character requires a balance of many things. It's not a very good idea to make a villain who always and automatically beats the good guys or a good guy who always and automatically beats the villains. A character like that is pretty much the exact definition of a "Mary-Sue". A character's life should also not be boring, yet their life can't be perfect. There are many more things that should be balanced and all, but your character should still be unique and have its quirks.

 Comment below with a bio of your character if you'd like me to evaluate its backstory and personality and stuff, I'm happy to help!

[The Nth Doctor 662]

Name: Midnight Runner

Occupation: Luna's Consort and Assassin

Special Talent: To make himself unnoticeable 

 

Unfortunately, I don't have a complete backstory hammered out for him, but he usually ends up in stone after Celestia uses the Elements of Harmony to seal Nightmare Moon in the moon for a thousand years

Once Luna is freed, he also returns to her side and is rather baffled by the lack of backstabbing nobles, which means he's out of a job, so eventually Luna pulls a Celestia and sends him to Ponyville, where he helps out from time to time with whatever problems crop up

 

And yes, he's a colt, despite his feminine appearance

He's usually more than willing to model Rarity's designs

Edited November 4, 2015 by The Nth Doctor

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

Name: summer breeze

Species: Pegasus

Special talend: making all kinds of wind, but especialy soft breezes that blows flowers away.

Backstory: summer grew up in manehattan with her father, who is a docter and verry over protective, she was never really alowed to go outside alone and when she was outside in the park with her dad he did not alow her to fly or to play because she could hurt herself. Summer still always wanted to go outside but her father told her that she had to become a docter just like him and if she did not get the best grades he would lock her in. But when summer tried sneeking out to go to the park her dad cought her and locked her in her room. Summer was really scared and screemd that she wanted to go out but her father didn't lissen. When he came to bring her food he found her unconsiouss on the floor, he brought her to the hospital and she recovered. When she was back home her father was even more over protective and she had to stay inside all day. The walls felt like they where comming closer and summer tot scared again. Whe ran to the window and wanted to jump and end her life. But when she fell she unfolded her wings and discovered she could fly! She flew away and came never back. She flew to a forest and when she flew past Some trees the flowers flew away and coverd her in a cloud of flowers. Thats when she got her cutymark. She build her house near ponyville and still lives there

Personality: kind, little bit shy, cheerfull, loves being around her friends, strong emotions, honest,

Specialitys: claustrofobic

[AnArtisticPontato 91]

Name: summer breeze

Species: Pegasus

Special talend: making all kinds of wind, but especialy soft breezes that blows flowers away.

Backstory: summer grew up in manehattan with her father, who is a docter and verry over protective, she was never really alowed to go outside alone and when she was outside in the park with her dad he did not alow her to fly or to play because she could hurt herself. Summer still always wanted to go outside but her father told her that she had to become a docter just like him and if she did not get the best grades he would lock her in. But when summer tried sneeking out to go to the park her dad cought her and locked her in her room. Summer was really scared and screemd that she wanted to go out but her father didn't lissen. When he came to bring her food he found her unconsiouss on the floor, he brought her to the hospital and she recovered. When she was back home her father was even more over protective and she had to stay inside all day. The walls felt like they where comming closer and summer tot scared again. Whe ran to the window and wanted to jump and end her life. But when she fell she unfolded her wings and discovered she could fly! She flew away and came never back. She flew to a forest and when she flew past Some trees the flowers flew away and coverd her in a cloud of flowers. Thats when she got her cutymark. She build her house near ponyville and still lives there

Personality: kind, little bit shy, cheerfull, loves being around her friends, strong emotions, honest,

Specialitys: claustrofobic

I found this to be a cute and charming story. I do like the character and all, but it needs a little bit of work. That is to be expected though, as characters can always do with improvements. I think the father should have more of a reason to be so overprotective, like maybe he had another child who died in an accident.

Name: Midnight Runner

Occupation: Luna's Consort and Assassin

Special Talent: To make himself unnoticeable 

 

Unfortunately, I don't have a complete backstory hammered out for him, but he usually ends up in stone after Celestia uses the Elements of Harmony to seal Nightmare Moon in the moon for a thousand years

Once Luna is freed, he also returns to her side and is rather baffled by the lack of backstabbing nobles, which means he's out of a job, so eventually Luna pulls a Celestia and sends him to Ponyville, where he helps out from time to time with whatever problems crop up

 

And yes, he's a colt, despite his feminine appearance

He's usually more than willing to model Rarity's designs

I found this to be really well done, and I do find it kinda funny that he ends up unemployed. I do understand why he's  acquainted with the royal sisters, which is good. A lot of bios and backstories don't make it clear if that's the case. I also like the fact that he isn't invincible or anything, that is shown by the fact that he's stuck in stone. I personally think that your color palette is visually pleasing. Problem is, most people associate red and black OCs, (I understand that Midnight's mane isn't pure red), with being "2edgy4me". I can't critique the actual story for Midnight that well since it isn't finished, and characters can always be improved. I would like to read his bckstory if you get around to finishing it.

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

I found this to be a cute and charming story. I do like the character and all, but it needs a little bit of work. That is to be expected though, as characters can always do with improvements. I think the father should have more of a reason to be so overprotective, like maybe he had another child who died in an accident.

The father is overprotective because he is a docter and he knows all the dangers, and everything witch could possibly happen when you play outside. And he needed summer to take care of him when he is old and to have an other succesfull familie to carry the familie name to the next generation.

[AnArtisticPontato 91]

The father is overprotective because he is a docter and he knows all the dangers, and everything witch could possibly happen when you play outside. And he needed summer to take care of him when he is old and to have an other succesfull familie to carry the familie name to the next generation.

I see now. Thank you for explaining, I appreciate it!

[Sporemane 546]

I am planing on writing an OC, but I don't know how to start. Any advice?

[Tesla 167]

Hey could you critique Tesla Rae for me it's all there but my back story as it is a WiP at the moment if you have any idea for a back story then don't be afraid to say so

 

https://mlpforums.com/topic/141171-critique-my-oc/

 

Thanks

[AnArtisticPontato 91]

I am planing on writing an OC, but I don't know how to start. Any advice?

It's usually best to go with a pony with a simple talent. For example, my OC, Catnip's talent is taking care of cats. As show in the episode, Slice of Life of the MLP show, even background ponies can have pretty interesting lives. It shows that even they can have pretty cool adventures like the Mane Six. This doesn't mean go all out and make your OC save the world and become the new Element of Harmony or anything, but they can still have adventures. Like I said, making an OC requires a balance. Heck, even names can require a balance! It's name shouldn't be something over the top like "Princess Darkness", but it can't be too boring like "Sparkle Dust". Don't those names sound bland? Your OC should have a unique personality. Sorry if I rambled on a bit, I guess I got kinda distracted.

Hey could you critique Tesla Rae for me it's all there but my back story as it is a WiP at the moment if you have any idea for a back story then don't be afraid to say so

 

https://mlpforums.com/topic/141171-critique-my-oc/

 

Thanks

I think the story should have a steampunk setting to add to the mood a bit. Your OC looks aesthetically pleasing and the colors are nice, but It might be better and more fitting if you focused on her steampunk elements more than her punk elements. For example, Her earring could be a cog or a gear.

[Pinkiebow 48]

tis is my pone

hes verry awesome n stuff n he gets all the mares

he has a tragic backstory and hes a murder

hes the best pone oc evar

10/10 

 

please don't do that people

[AquaMinty101 59]

(This pony is set in the future about 2-3 generations after celestia and Luna.)

 

Name: Pandora Taylor

Age: what twilights age would've been if they had met.

Species: That is very very hard to explain...

Backstory: after being alive for two years, she was stuck in foster care as an outcome to her parents deaths - the heir to the throne at this point in time and his wife. She was capable of simply magic as she was a unicorn, but if she wanted to she can turn into a fairy like creature. ((This character is a fairy/Royal/magic power holding person from a book series I'm writing so that's why this be crazy)) she doesn't believe her parents are actually dead because of the imaginary world in her head where she can "hear" them "talking" to her.

Mane/Tail color: Black with minor Royal blue highlights, medium length

Eyes: bright blue

Coat: white

Markings: none

Other: she has a special necklace that shows that she has special powers, but she doesn't know what it means until a certain time in the story.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've been doing this thing where I turn my book characters to ponies. So here's the first one I did. Lol.

[Silver Stream. 708]

 

Please bear with me, since I've only been into MLP for a year.....but since I have experience in making original characters and they ended up quite popular, I didn't struggle too much. I'll also like to give credit to @Pandoraxe for listening to me ramble about my raw idea. And he also assisted in helping me with some cutiemark ideas. 

 

Basically, my OC will be a unicorn named Silver Stream (and yes it is familiar to the Silver Stream in the Warriors series but not the same character). What I have so far is basically a guideline for me. I'll develop more on her throughout possible roleplay or simply might come up with new ideas the longer I carry her as my persona

 

Back Story:

She was born in Canterlot and forced to live in high society. She was yet to receive her cutiemark even when she reached the adult stage....and lived in a world of Depression up until she finally left on her own to discover other stuff that was out there. She first visited Griffonstone where she learned about self-worth and gained a feisty attitude though it doesn't really define her personality as a whole. She then went to Yakyakastan finding inner strength. After her longs travels of being away from home, she finally returned but remained a Blank Flank. After making amends with the little friends she had in Canterlot, she settled in Ponyville and discovered Friendship (DUH). After meeting with Zecora, she took an interest in healing and helping the unfortunate and supporting people who needs it. It was then she received her cutiemark: a whirlpool with violet water lillies: representing her strong personality clashing with her beautiful perspective on the world and it's inhabitants. It also implies her talent of healing others on an emotional level (water being the element of healing) but she also has a little bit of knowledge for herbs as well thanks to Zecora.

 

 

Personality:

As I stated, she does have a strong personality. Silver is usually very protective of her friends and doesn't hesitate to stand up to anyone when they are stepping out of line. However, she easily keeps herself contained when it comes to losing her temper, and enjoys being around other friends. If she isn't busy hanging out with her friends, she's alone in the basking in the beautiful scenery of Equestria's wildlife or swimming in the river. She has a natural talent of healing ponies and other creatures on an emotional level...sometimes she does not need magic to help with this since she's good with talking to others thanks to the experience of encountering other creatures after she left Canterlot. At times, close friends will harmlessly call her "Silver Tongue" instead because she speaks so eloquently. Silver Stream can sometimes be a flirt, though she never flirts to get something in return. Other characteristics: a good sense of humor, compassionate, loyal, kind, and intuitive

 

 

Appearance:

Silver Stream will have a snow white flank with an endomorph body type (medium). Her mane is shoulder length while her tail is fairly longer than normal. At times she will tie up her tail in a decent style to avoid it dragging behind her on the ground. She possesses a blended colored mane and tail of blues and violets that matches the water lily on her whirlpool cutiemark. 

 

[Sunset light 302]

Hey guys ive invented a good pony backstory is she lives in ponyville creates a frost with the magic she posseses got cutiemark when she was a teen she works with weather ponys and spends her life making ice statues

[Izanagi 176]

tis is my pone

hes verry awesome n stuff n he gets all the mares

he has a tragic backstory and hes a murder

hes the best pone oc evar

10/10 

 

please don't do that people

Dude, that oc is like. Orgasmic.