mega thread How are you feeling?

[Savy 5,077]

A little hungry but otherwise feeling good.

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,161]

I am feeling fine; just been up and down emotionally for a while. But again, fine.

[Slendy 2,918]

Pretty chill, had a terrible week.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I was feeling "fine" when in reality it was the numbness product from psychological filters the mind puts up to protect itself.

And when I tore down these barriers that we interpret as the "ego", I was then able to find the heart and the trauma. I was finally able to feel like myself. And understand my emotional needs were never met because of the damage caused by my mother and my father when they abandoned me. And this is the main cause for the ADHD, dissociative and multiple personality disorders I was diagnosed with during childhood, without truly understanding the source of the problem. Superficial solutions for what we ignore. "Just take these drugs".
I feel like a broken human being now, because I am. But at least I can feel, which is not something I was able to do some moments ago, when I was "feeling" like a falsification of myself.

Because the "ego" tries to protect itself by obscuring the reality, so these are the times when I become a character of myself, like an exaggerated caricature parading through life, instead of a human being who is suffering because he is damaged. Making me unable to reach into my emotional state because my trauma based personality takes control. And while the emotional pain disappears, so does my emotive response, hindering my empathetic reaction, which is what makes me human. And triggering my addictive behaviours, as well as anxiety and depression, of course. Which is what feeds said addictions.

"What is happening?", "I'm feeling nothing", "That means everything must be alright". And yet physical illness and chronic pain start manifesting. Because the trauma is still there. I just have become dissociated because of it.

And you can sometimes see these "characters" of life in society, like caricatures or clowns with exaggerated and dehumanizing behaviours. Like the muscle guy who beat that dog, because he realized no matter how much he trained that ego, it wouldn't get him what he truly needed. And he was probably attracting other people who were also like him, transactional people who are disingenuous with their own humanity and use each other. People who are looking to kill their emotional pain by abusing their own sexuality. Therefore causing more emotional damage in the process. Which results in more abusive and violent reactions just like the one he displayed. No love for you.
And then I would see weaker people who are somewhat stronger, because they are honest with themselves, even if they are suffering. Not someone who makes a social character out of their problems. But people who look like human beings with the commitment to stay one. And there is this true emotional recognition when we look at each other. And their eyes go wide open as if they had seen something out of this world. And I smile, and they smile, too. A true smile. That is beautiful, another true human being in a dissociative and abusive environment of social characters, product from trauma based personalities. How do you treat a traumatized and loveless world?

So, my recognition goes to anyone who has the courage to be honest with themselves in spite of their adverse circumstances. And not manipulate and use others as an excuse to feel better with yourself.

Remember, always honest with your humanity.

Edited June 23, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[TheRockARooster 50,896]

I'm feeling alrightbut a little lightheaded.

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling pretty good, although bored. 

[Zilko94 42]

I'm feeling good right now, I was upset this morning. But I know the future is looking bright (I hope) lol

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Very happy that my project is done 

[Dreambiscuit 9,690]

To be honest I feel less than stellar. I had surgery on my hand and arm Monday and it still has some lingering pain. I won’t have the use of my right hand for quite a while and the splint I’m wearing feels like it weighs a ton. Just typing this post is taking way too long and I’m wondering if it’s worth it just to complain about this mess. Eh, maybe. I like to complain. 

[TheRockARooster 50,896]

Moments ago, Dreambiscuit said:

To be honest I feel less than stellar. I had surgery on my hand and arm Monday and it still has some lingering pain. I won’t have the use of my right hand for quite a while and the splint I’m wearing feels like it weighs a ton. Just typing this post is taking way too long and I’m wondering if it’s worth it just to complain about this mess. Eh, maybe. I like to complain. 

I hope it gets well soon, Dreamy. 

[Patty Thundersnow 4,163]

27 minutes ago, Dreambiscuit said:

To be honest I feel less than stellar. I had surgery on my hand and arm Monday and it still has some lingering pain. I won’t have the use of my right hand for quite a while and the splint I’m wearing feels like it weighs a ton. Just typing this post is taking way too long and I’m wondering if it’s worth it just to complain about this mess. Eh, maybe. I like to complain. 

I feel ya. I had lingering pain after my broken leg for several months. So, I that pain goes away soon for you.

I'm feeling alright. Really excited for the weekend, as it's the weekend before my birthday.

[Dreambiscuit 9,690]

3 minutes ago, Mama Patty Thundersnow said:

I feel ya. I had lingering pain after my broken leg for several months. So, I that pain goes away soon for you.

I'm feeling alright. Really excited for the weekend, as it's the weekend before my birthday.

Thank you! I'm feeling better every day! 

Happy upcoming birthday!!!                  

[Savy 5,077]

Extremely tired, gonna head to bed in a bit. I didn't realize it was 2am oops.

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,161]

Tired, cause it's almost bed time for me haha. 

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Feeling like there's too many words in my brain to process  Otherwise, I am good 

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling pretty good at the moment, got a good night's rest.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

A bit frustrated about a video I'm trying to make, but otherwise doing pretty good.  

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I feel anger. I just had another family altercation because there was never a family here. It gets too real, when the argument suddenly grows louder, and you can feel the repressed violence create this stillness in the air before the inevitable. I'm holding back a lot pain inside of me, and it feels like I am being strangled in real life. It hurts.
This is not gonna end well for any of us. I've been having more violent dreams recently. They are getting worse. I am scared of myself. Of what I can become. But I've been self-sacrificing for far too long, and the pain is coming to the surface now, whether I want it or not.
I know how brutal the animal inside of us can be. I've seen it many times. And I always thought it was "beneath" me. That I could keep it under control. But no, I am no different. I am a human being. And it is precisely because I disregarded myself as such. And ignored it for far too long that this got this bad. But I had no choice. I was given none. This is how it is to feel both pity and hatred for the person that is hurting you, and yet you need that person, but she is unable to do anything for you because of her mental illness. But you are now mentally impaired because of her. Because of being ignored, invalidated, dismissed and neglected your whole life with narcissistic abuse and gratuituous violence.
It will be what it has to be. I've been too considerate at the expense of my own mental health. Now it is time for the animal inside of me to do the talking. If words cannot get this desperate cry across, then violence will.

Edited June 24, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Tropical Melody 6,089]

13 hours ago, TheRockARooster said:

I hope it gets well soon, Dreamy. 

 

 

[Tropical Melody 6,089]

Somewhat itchy, 'cause of sunburn, and mosquito bites!

Honestly they're like blisters...

 

Edited June 24, 2022 by Tropical Melody
Erratums

[TheRockARooster 50,896]

I’m feeling alright, a little out of it though.

Edited June 25, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[Savy 5,077]

I'm feeling alright, a little tired though.

[Windy Breeze 15,189]

I am incredibly angry and frustrated.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

It is too complex to just describe, since externally, I am quite calm and content but internally, I am feeling many things, albeit in very small amounts. Suppose it has to do with thinking about multiple things at once.

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling way more relaxed than yesterday.