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mega thread How are you feeling?


Rift enchanted

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(edited)

Relaxed, I took a hot shower to release some of the stress. But I am a little tired all of the sudden. Sometimes it is like having all these needs queuing up, but you cannot quite recognize or address them because of the mental overload caused by the stress. So, I'm gonna go take a nap.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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Pretty sick ngl but finally getting "some" relief from the nausea medicines I got from the emergency room this morning. Have a "stricture" in my esophagus and potentially ulcers in my stomach, they are going to scope me this week. HOPEFULLY I won't have to worry about staying hydrated or getting sleep once it's all said and done and I'll finally be able to relax. 


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I’m cold, colder, coldest and FREEEEEEEEEEEZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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I’m feeling fine after sleeping for a longer time.

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(edited)

I was feeling very erratic because my empathetic faculties were compromised due to emotional trauma. Reducing me to instinct alone. I go wild.
And it is then when this "mysticism" takes over my perception of reality. Because this is what dissociation is called.
And people around here do this every single time. Attributing the consequences of their psychological and emotional disorders to the "occult". When in reality they are traumatized. But they will continue to do this "spiritual bypassing" where they use "spiritual" concepts that misrepresent the nature of reality, as an excuse or pretext to justify their difficult life stituations, and avoid their responsibilities with these very real problems. Especially, when there is mental illness involved.

They do not want to use reason anymore. Because it is painful to see, and bacause part of their rational capacity has become impaired. So, they would rather distort reality to fit their own dissociative state and cognitive dissonance. It is very hypocritical, but also sad.

So, whenever I feel "possessed" as they would like to say, which is not a possession, but my emotional decompensation potentiating the natural instinctive response and survival mechanisms to harmful levels. Then I have to remind myself to stay rational. Because this is all the result of my psychological and emotional trauma. It is a chemical imbalance in my adrenal glands and epinephrine production, caused by the sequels of psychological damage telling my body that I am still in danger, when I am not.
There is no magic involved here. Only the misunderstanding of people who are unwilling to recognize and confront their reality. Because it is always easier not to see the truth. But this ignorance can only create more ignorance and damage in the end.

I am feeling centered, and balanced now. I am feeling fine. But every episode is like a powerful storm that takes me off the ground. Forcing my brain and body eloctrochemistry into a state of disarray. And then there is very little I can do, when I have to fight against my own dysfunctional body functions.

So, forget all the bs I said about wickedness. It is mental illness in the end. This is reality... I think.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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I’m starting to feel sleepy.


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Pretty productive! :mlp_yeehaa: 

I did some major edits on a Homestuck “furry” base and I’m shocked at how good it looks given that I barely spent an hour on it.

I probably owe it to all those times I spent watching doll/action figure painting tutorials on YouTube, so I know how to layer colors and stuff. A lot of those skills apply to digital “dolls” too. 

 

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(edited)

Identified. I was browsing a reddit for people with complex post traumatic stress disorder, and saw a post mentioning chronic emotional abandonment in children, and the effect that this has across adulthood.
This perpetual feeling that you are still a broken and damaged child no matter your age. And it was amazing to see some level of awareness among people, to realize the severe effects that emotional neglect can have on a child. Because that was my life, basically.
This invisible damage that nobody can see, but it crushes you from the inside, and destroys your physical body, eventually.
Like it happened with other adults in the family, who didn't know what they were dying from, other than experiencing this constant state of sadness and internal fracture.
Because I will often dismiss the real severity of my own condition, due to the absence of physical trauma. Because the abuse was psychological in reality. And just because you cannot see something, it doesn't mean it isn't there. So, I feel identified. That is good. Understanding is good.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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I feeling ok, nothing much has changed.


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(edited)

I’m relaxed. Lying in bed with the lights out and “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt playing on repeat. Burning my wax melts too, “Apple Freesia” scented.

Looking forward to getting the giant seahorse plushie I ordered from Etsy this morning, because it’s going to make relaxation times like these at least 20% cozier! :fluttershy:

Edited by Moonydrop
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