mega thread How are you feeling?

[Balt 109]

Sad that we put our dog down today. but it ended his suffering

[Sparklefan1234 170,317]

I feel like I "need" to keep my Halloween profile banner for longer than usual because it's the only banner I have where I can properly center my name.

[Tropical Melody 6,125]

4 hours ago, Balt said:

Sad that we put our dog down today. but it ended his suffering

 

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

I was drowning inside of me just an hour ago. It felt like I wanted to puke my soul out and my neck closed in. The mouth of hunger opened at the pit of my stomach like an emptiness consuming all hope. My understanding of life became pure dread. My mind works in black and white like that. Becoming riddled with fears, like when I am afraid of going out into the street. Because everything is perceived like a threat.
I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes were darkened and sunken. No light. Recently something similar happened, but the despair was absolute. And I started shacking on my feet, my lips split open all of sudden, bloodyng all my teeth, and my eyes were completely hollow. I looked literally like a standing corpse. Well, more than usual. This time there was no pressure on my neck, and the air coming from my lungs smelled like burning blood. But I managed to gather myself, pushing the pit of black tar inside of me even lower. Which took me higher. And I regenerated.

Back to this day, I started feeling like a rabid animal all of the sudden, but after releasing this violent and predatory instinct. The child returned to me, and I have this bright and vivid stare once more. It feels like absolute purity and I am elated, unlike the other side which is pure poison like a black smoke that kills you.

Edited October 29, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Splashee 28,563]

I’m feeling ok, going to do some work today!

[TBD 17,254]

Well, I guess it’s the only matter of time because I just threw my back . And now I feel my o’ sciatica came back from the past. 

[Verdant Shy 950]

19 hours ago, They call me Loyalty said:

I woke up tired. I was feeling great a couple hours ago. It was a beautiful day under the sun. But much like the weather changed. Not so much anymore.

And someone just told me I should concentrate on myself. Because my mind will often go into this world over-view mindset, focusing on every single ****ing problem. It is overwhelming and you cannot do anything anyways. So, keep it small. Go tend to the garden, make some tea, sweep the rug, do some exercise, do some drugs. Whatever floats your boat. The world is yours.

But then they will say I am self-absorbed. And I AM, because the knowledge is always there. I cannot just isolate in my little comfort zone and pretend the world doesn't exist outside of me. Also, I don't have it in my heart to not care. Yet, they keep pushing the envelope. Left or right, left or right? "Ask me about sides". You know what? Kill each other for all I care. You will always find a reason to complain anyways.

I am not the one who is "divisive" here. Human creatures ARE naturally divisive, BECAUSE we ARE animals by nature. Get it? You will form groups and start tearing sh*t up like a bunch of monkeys. Because that is who we are in the end. So, you have my blessing to go wild in this animal farm, if that makes you feel better with yourself. Let's be honest here. You just need an excuse to hate each other. C'mon, I know you better than you know yourself. But do not keep pushing it. Because I am gonna call the nuclear nurse on every single one of you. "When I get that feeling, I like my nuclear healing". Just that silence after a nuclear blast. C'mon. Piss me off. And you will know the actual reason I am so "loving".

So, you wanna go to war? Do it. Or keep up with this black-eyed peace. Domestic violence, drug-addiction, street brawls, rape, murder, like I saw the other day. Our inherent violence has to go somewhere, after all. I leave it to you. But don't make it look like it is my fault. We always knew this creation was going nowhere. That is the problem. I am too compassionate. Until I am not. And then everyone dies.

Dude, you should write a book.

[Tropical Melody 6,125]

7 hours ago, The Pumpkin King said:

Well, I guess it’s the only matter of time because I just threw my back . And now I feel my o’ sciatica came back from the past. 

 

My toes are still hurting.

 

[Lunaholic 898]

I am feeling wonderful! I'm nearly fully recovered from Covid! 

[Splashee 28,563]

Feeling ok since one of my projects turned out to work from yesterday, out of 4 failed ones.

[Woohoo 34,067]

Hoarse after karaoke last night. 

Spoiler

Though I don't sound nearly as bad as Jon Bon Jovi. 

 

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Surreal. Sometimes I do not believe the kind of stuff I see on the news. Whose dream is this reality? What is going on? Why do people on the street look as if they knew me? Why every song I hear has such a personal message? Who is this X? Who am I? I don't know who I am. I'm going insane again. I am afraid of you, and myself as an extention. It feels like I want to puke my guts out. Once again, I have this wounds opening on my skin. I am under pressure. Where is my real body allocated? To be under so much pressure. Did I fall? Am I sleeping under the city lights? Did I die? Can consciousness die?

I feel dead. I feel like a ghost in this life, leaving shadows of myself behind me. And they are catching up to me. And they are not very happy with me running away from the past. But I have to run, or they are going to kill me. I've seen it in their eyes. They want to eat me alive. And still, I don't know who I am. I don't feel like a part of the collective. Maybe we were one, once upon a time. But I am fractured now. Like a shard that got lost. Shattered. And I've noticed how this reality reflects my thoughts. Meaning that much of the darkness that I see in the world, may be coming from me. The further my psyche distorts, the further the world becomes corrupted.

When did this paradise become a nightmare. It feels like my body is internally collapsing. I am going nuclear. I can barely sustain myself. Like reality is losing realism. But I cannot really mend the fracture that makes me broken. I can only remedy the symptoms of this division. And still, I can barely function like a normal person.

Constantly going from autitism to psychosis. Having this manic episodes, this lasting depression with intervals of euphoria. The paranoia. There is a moment you start hating yourself. And then you start projecting this self-destrutive hatred, and want the world to burn. You take enjoyment from it. Because you are sick and tired of yourself. So, do not follow me.

(Funny. 1989 characters. The year I was born)

[Verdant Shy 950]

5 hours ago, They call me Loyalty said:

Surreal. Sometimes I do not believe the kind of stuff I see on the news. Whose dream is this reality? What is going on? Why do people on the street look as if they knew me? Why every song I hear has such a personal message? Who is this X? Who am I? I don't know who I am. I'm going insane again. I am afraid of you, and myself as an extention. It feels like I want to puke my guts out. Once again, I have this wounds opening on my skin. I am under pressure. Where is my real body allocated? To be under so much pressure. Did I fall? Am I sleeping under the city lights? Did I die? Can consciousness die?

I feel dead. I feel like a ghost in this life, leaving shadows of myself behind me. And they are catching up to me. And they are not very happy with me running away from the past. But I have to run, or they are going to kill me. I've seen it in their eyes. They want to eat me alive. And still, I don't know who I am. I don't feel like a part of the collective. Maybe we were one, once upon a time. But I am fractured now. Like a shard that got lost. Shattered. And I've noticed how this reality reflects my thoughts. Meaning that much of the darkness that I see in the world, may be coming from me. The further my psyche distorts, the further the world becomes corrupted.

When did this paradise become a nightmare. It feels like my body is internally collapsing. I am going nuclear. I can barely sustain myself. Like reality is losing realism. But I cannot really mend the fracture that makes me broken. I can only remedy the symptoms of this division. And still, I can barely function like a normal person.

Constantly going from autitism to psychosis. Having this manic episodes, this lasting depression with intervals of euphoria. The paranoia. There is a moment you start hating yourself. And then you start projecting this self-destrutive hatred, and want the world to burn. You take enjoyment from it. Because you are sick and tired of yourself. So, do not follow me.

(Funny. 1989 characters. The year I was born)

Dude, you should really go visit the therapist and spoke about your thoughts because this isn't looking good.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,196]

Gotta keep a cautious stand for tomorrow.  

[Savy 5,077]

Full and tired from dinner.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Achy from that devestating Carolina Panthers game earlier

[Clawdeen 12,191]

Emotionally shot and also tired

[J.J 923]

Honestly perplexed maybe I don't word myself delicately enough, but now I feel like I need to bring bibs and pacifiers for some people that don't care enough to divulge a perspective properly by communicating but rather boo hoo and twist the intention of my words when I was saying something entirely different

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

I'm feeling stressed lately I have been more active recently I'm not sure if I can keep up with this social stuff I enjoy it and it makes me happy

people IRL and online are interacting more with me since i changed my mindset on life I feel a little less lonely

2 hours ago, Spook Conundrum said:

Honestly perplexed maybe I don't word myself delicately enough, but now I feel like I need to bring bibs and pacifiers for some people that don't care enough to divulge a perspective properly by communicating but rather boo hoo and twist the intention of my words when I was saying something entirely different

What happened?

[J.J 923]

18 minutes ago, Diane The Spooky said:

I'm feeling stressed lately I have been more active recently I'm not sure if I can keep up with this social stuff I enjoy it and it makes me happy

people IRL and online are interacting more with me since i changed my mindset on life I feel a little less lonely

What happened?

We'll have to discuss this on Discord or through messages, I don't want to "appear insensitive" to " alleged hypothetical victims" in the context of the subject matter

[J.J 923]

4 minutes ago, Props ValRoa said:

If you want to talk to me on Discord, DM me your discord tag.

Alright that sounds sweet, you can also feel free to DM me on here, it's weird bc I think we used to talk like years ago when I was younger and wasn't utilizing the forum as much haha bc I've seen old messages between us before

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,196]

Being Halloween and all, I have a fear of setting foot in Discord  

[Splashee 28,563]

Cold. I went back to bed for a few hours because it got too cold in my house for some reason.

[Pandora 38,015]

Sicker feeling than yesterday TwT still trying to keep positive 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,621]

Sleepy and a little paranoid for absolutely no reason. Nothing serious. Just one of those nights where something feels strange and out of place.