mega thread How are you feeling?

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,393]

Feeling rather "off" today, not sure why. It is one of those feelings of background anxiety where something is bothering me but I don't know what it is. Makes me feel tense.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Kinda sleepy since I just woke up not too long ago

[TheRockARooster 50,936]

I’m feeling ok, a little chilly.

This weather is freezing over lol.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Doing good aside from minor allergies 

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Out of this plane. Sometimes, I look around and ask myself whether I took the wrong stop, or what. Because, I cannot be the only one who feels so much "darkness" sourcing out of humanity. It is inherent to them. And they do not seem to notice it. Like it is normal behaviour or something. As if they were inherently "evil", even within what you would consider normal behaviour.

So, I am going crazy, basically. And I cannot stop vomiting myself out of myself. Because, I see the world, and it looks DARK to me. Bright darkness, light darkness. Colorful darkness.
Am I in hell and didn't realized it until now? Because I've been feeling like this since I have memory. Like "Oh, no". As the doctor held me in his hands.

And I've been trying to solve this puzzle, regarding some of the experiences I had involving shadow beings. Very "physical" manifestations of darkness in human form during body paralysis. And the feelings I get from the shadow collective is not different from human beings. There is a "demon" hiding within each individual. A snake.

And then there are ancient texts like the Apocalypse of Abraham, where he is taken to the realm above, to look onto the one bellow, and it specifically describes hades as being a realm created in the likeness of heaven, but with a dark source, or corrupt nature associated to an antithetical personification of god called azazel. The serpent of paradise.
Or the egyptian texts speaking of this plane as the realm of the "dead". Or Yeshua or Yahusha calling Satan "the prince of this world" by which I mean the "ruler of this world".
So, that could explain the massive amounts of darkness under the false light. And the shadow being phenomenon people have been reporting all over the earth. And I can see this "energy" coming from humanity, generating from within their navels like a dark source that brings something out from within themselves, that I reject. Not because I am different or better, but because it reminds me so much of myself. My very nature, in fact. And I am repulsed by it. I am repulsed at my own reflection in humanity. I hate it, the same way I hate myself. So, I pretend to be better, because I am afraid to see what lies underneath the human being I am wearing.

I've been looking for something that is not myself, and yet I see myself inside each and every human being. "Nothing new under the sun" as my family says. And I've dreamt that someone or something from outside this plane comes to rescue me. Something different. Because I am sinking within myself, and the darkness is increasing world wide.
And I am starting to recognize myself in that black mirror, and I am scared that I am not only not different from that which I've been running away my whole life. But in in fact, the very personification of that nature so present in this family. I keep vomiting this thing out. Can you feel it? Twisting and writhing inside your navel. It is not only instinct, it is something more. It is the very essence of power.
So, maybe this can explain why I have so much difficulty to find true light in this world. Most of the light feels so empty, and eventually I end up returning to the dark. It is inescapable.

Why it is so difficult to move? Like trodding in a swamp within myself. Instinctively rejecting the world since I was a child. A very strange child.
Because, having a dysfunctional childhood does not bring humanoid shadows into existence. And I am not the only one who is seeing them. So...
The world looks like a negative in colors; a dark replica of the realm that is exectly above this one. "As above, so bellow". But not so much, really. Which is why I pray for there to be something better than this world. Because everything that looked like light, eventually turned out to be darkness. More of myself. And I ended up biting myself, by mistake.

And then, things like the poisoning "virus" happen, or lying about the shape of the earth with the heliocentric model. Or the ophiuchus, which happens to be a ****ing snake. The serpent bearer. The hidden thirteenth. Which now happens to be also my zodiac sign because of december 6, where I used to be saggitarius before. What is the point of this deception?

Still, it is an interesting thought, that humanity could have been always "evil", even within the practices they consider to be good. And some of them suffer because they restrain their inherent nature. Like myself, since the begnning. It is just that I don't want to look in the black mirror. I am terrified I will see the serpent that started it all. Because it will force me to start it all again. And I am carrying with the suffering of three generations who collapsed over me like a tower, each floor bringing the one above with it. Too heavy. Too tired.
But that "evil" is just power. The problem is when that power is misused, and it is often misused, like it is the case with this family, and the great damage they caused to themselves and me. And I've seen so many people abuse this power, causing damage to others with intent. That I have learned to hate my own human nature, because of the destructive nature of my family, due to the misuse of power. Because they had no wisdom. I hope this life of self-sacrifice in the face of their massive failure has served a purpose.

I hope that there is someone above the solid firmament, and I know there is someone there. And that HE allows me to return home. Because I am tired of this world. The same way I am becoming tired of myself. Whatever happens, I only hope that isis the end.

Edited April 22, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Savy 5,077]

Other than tired, I'm doing just fine. 

[Dreambiscuit 9,690]

Doing pretty good. Just had a steroid injection in my hand today so it's feeling better than usual. 

Also found a jellybean leftover from Easter and it's all mine!  Never underestimate the importance of candied goodness! 

[dead account 2,710]

Feeling eggcellent.  I even feel like playing some games again recently, played a bit Super Maker 2 yesterday. I'm thinking about buying Pokémon Shining Pearl actually. I need to find somepony with the other version, so that I can trade the exclusives later on.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Pretty good. Overcoming the spiritual warfare. Light and strong.

[Pandora 38,015]

Mildly annoyed with someone.

On the other hand, I am happy with the art i've made.

[Savy 5,077]

Tired, but very happy.

[DubWolf 17,260]

Annoyed, I was expecting my computer reset in less than an hour, now it so happens it, for some reason, is common (sort of thankfully..) for it to be stuck at a certain percentage for HOURS, if not over a dang day. And it was going relatively fast too…

Great.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

17 hours ago, PrettyInPipp said:

Tired, but very happy.

Same here  

[TheRockARooster 50,936]

I’m alright, still a little tired.

Edited April 25, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Good and relaxed right now 

[TheRockARooster 50,936]

I'm feeling hungry at the moment.

[Savy 5,077]

I'm feeling hungry. I really need to get food.

[TBD 17,254]

I have a very strong feeling of anger and hatred right now and hell, I don't feel bad cursing these people because I know they deserve it, and I don't care if they're my cousins- I will be happy to disown them as my cousin. They're dead to me especially the husband.

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Divine comedy. I was talking to a friend who was feeling pretty miserable, because she was about to pay some holistic scammer a fortune to "help" her with her life. Then, I saw the message that this person had sent her, and it was basically a bunch questions to unearth hundreads of "issues" in her past that she was not even aware of, in order to create a set of mental conditionings that were not even there to begin with, that then this person would "help" her "resolve" for a monthly fee, of course.

So, instead of all this bs, I just pushed her to dispell the thought patterns that were causing the cyclical loop of emotional imbalance. Just by not believing in them anymore. Because she was the one actually reinforcing the negative thoughts, which in turn created the emotional state that was stopping her from moving ahead in life.
Like telling yourself "I'm miserable" all the time, until you really believe it, and thus become miserable. So, I told her to do the opposite. Create a positve thought pattern.
Also, that she was being really lazy. Which she is, by the way. Lazy, irresponsible, she likes to victimize herself a lot. And always puts the blame on others. And it is because of this that she was reinforcing her state of misery, because in ultimate instance, she didn't want to take responsibility for her life. Thus, it was easier to be miserable, than to be responsible. But it had become much harder to be responsible, because she was telling herself that she was miserable. But if she told herself the opposite...

And just like that, the illusion was dispelled, and she felt free. For no fee.
After all, life is but a stage. And she was really into her own character. Too much, you could say. So, breaking the character always works.

And thus, I feel good too. Actually, I feel awesome. Because, "I am awesome".

Edited April 27, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Doing alright, just trying to fall asleep to some music

[Savy 5,077]

Doing alright, going to bed soon.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

Doing fine, just getting ready for the morning

[TheRockARooster 50,936]

I’m going ok, not much happening.

Edited April 29, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling pretty nervous about this storm coming tonight. Hope it's not too bad.

[Magic Note 2,748]

It's also storming here right now, but I'm doing well otherwise.