searching [OOC] Ambition for Ascension

[Loud Opinion 602]

@Califorum

Alright. The doors are open. Feel free to post at your leisure.

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@Loud Opinion

Thank you very much. I look forward to this roleplay and what it will hold. Although, what would Magnolia's aspect be?

[Loud Opinion 602]

@Califorum

I'm torn between heart and forge, but it could also turn out to be edge.

I'd say Magnolia's aspect hasn't awakened yet.

After I see some RP interactions I can narrow it down.

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@Loud Opinion

Went ahead and posted. I am curious to see what you will come up with as for her aspect as our interactions take place, and what you think of Magnolia's actions in the RP.

[Loud Opinion 602]

@Califorum

Actually, I do have some immediate thoughts. I adore the wordplay in your first post but I see grammar errors that are seriously holding it back. Again, I would strongly suggest the use of a tool like Grammarly. As it stands I have trouble understanding exactly what is going on. Approaching the Temple is a simple enough concept to understand, but when you start interacting with multiple characters, grammar mistakes can make things very confusing.

Other than that, it was a beautiful introduction. Makes me feel bad for poking holes in it.

Side note: Sorry, in my summary I forgot to mention that the temple is on a clear hill just at the forest's edge. Don't worry about the first post just keep it in mind for latter.

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@Loud Opinion

What exactly is holding it back, in your eyes? In my eyes I see nothing wrong with the grammar. I was describing how the darkness moved...it moves like a fluid rather than a mist...yet also looks like a mist at the same time, if that makes sense.. I suppose I have a different writing style than you do. I will see about using Grammarly, although I have never used such tools before / was never interested in using them. 

As for the temple on a clear hill, I will keep that in mind.

[Loud Opinion 602]

Okay, so I read the post again. I was mistaken about the errors. Sorry about that. I actually ran it though Grammarly and didn't pick up any red lines, so again, sorry.

It didn't like the clarity, but no errors. That's just my tired eye making mistakes.

I saw some missing tenses

Quote

The darkness dripping and oozing with viscosity as it surged forth from shadow to shadow.

Should be "The darkness was dripping and oozing with viscosity..." or "The darkness dripped and oozed with viscosity..." Probably not going to lead to any misunderstanding.

Quote

...to rise up and take a three dimensional of that of a pony.

Three dimensional what? A shape. Again I don't think anyone will misunderstand.

Small nitpicks on my part, but it did take me out of it for a second. You never really lost me though.

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@Loud Opinion

As for those errors there, they went completely un-noticed. Some things I completely miss, naturally. 

[Loud Opinion 602]

Exactly. I don't expect perfection. I think your style more than makes up for it. I don't know anyone that proofreads for fun.

On my first reading I actually misread a lot of words (I read "from then forth" as "from the forth"). On my second reading I kept finding myself saying "that's not an error".

 

Anyway, I'll get my reply up soon.

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@Loud Opinion

Probably just since you aren't used to my style that is, some have said mine is unique. This is going to be fun.

[Loud Opinion 602]

@ExplosionMare

Made a slight error in assigning your aspect. It should be heart. Will fix.

Edited December 28, 2020 by Loud Opinion

[Loud Opinion 602]

@ExplosionMare

I know I didn't give Starlight a lot to react to last post. I can post again to give you more to work with if you want.

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@Loud Opinion

Feel free to reply to me whenever you wish.

[ExplosionMare 18,007]

On 12/28/2020 at 4:58 PM, Loud Opinion said:

@ExplosionMare

I know I didn't give Starlight a lot to react to last post. I can post again to give you more to work with if you want.

That’s ok, you don’t have to do that

[Loud Opinion 602]

@Califorum

Sorry for the delay. I wanted to respond to ExposionMare at the same time, but that's a little silly seance Magnolia isn't even at the temple yet. No real need to slow down Magnolia's pace right now.

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@Loud Opinion

Sounds good to me. Makes me wonder what will happen next hehe.

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@Loud Opinion @ExplosionMare

I edited an audio clip so it would sound like how I imagine Magnolia to be. https://gregegge.wistia.com/medias/yedb67dpg9

And here is a theme for her. 

 

[Loud Opinion 602]

@ExplosionMare

Just wanted to get Magnolia to the temple before the hosts show up. I'll respond to your post just as soon as Magnolia makes her entrance.

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@Loud Opinion

Alright, looking good so far!

[Loud Opinion 602]

Finally finished this monster of a post. Thus concludes the prologue. Your journey has officially begun.

Except for @ReverieRiver but I swear she'll be back in next post.

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@Loud Opinion

I like how you had Magnolia remind Octavia of someone she knew when she was young. I am really liking this so far!

[Loud Opinion 602]

Please, I need to catch up.

[Props Valroa 25,979]

Alrighty! @Loud Opinion

[Loud Opinion 602]

Okay, one more post, but I need to reply soon or nothing will happen. People will just suggest to each other what might happen forever.

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2 minutes ago, Loud Opinion said:

Okay, one more post, but I need to reply soon or nothing will happen. People will just suggest to each other what might happen forever.

I was already writing my post. I will write that first then you can reply.