music A Rap song I have been working on, Warning contains explicit language

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

Sup Everypony

 

This is a little somthing I wrote up while bored after work. This is a Rap song so hopefully you can figure out the flow of the lyrics. Enjoy

 

 

(keep in mind that the first verse is spoken like someone about to go insane.)

 

 

"I just don't understand it, everywhere -

everywhere I go I just can't seem to get it down. I

fail this I flunk that it's just old news to me but

now i'm gonna make you all see, I'm gonna get this

right".

 

 

now, I ain't a man of many words, but that don't

mean I can't spit slick rhymes and verbs. Most

rappers find this to be their claim to fame, not to

me though this is all just a game.

 

 

Life's an age old contest, as you go on it get's

harder, you grow older and bolder stronger and

wiser. Like a shooting star you'll rise to the

heavens til you find what your made of, ya step up

as you soar higher and higher.

 

 

you'll never rise to the top if ya can't defeat,

so stay out of the kitchen if ya can't handle the

heat. You'll never reach the stars if ya cannot

beat the game, just like everyone else you'll never

make your claim to fame.

 

[chorus]x2

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

As you enter the stage, the setting for your life

and the curtains are drawn with a blinding light.

everybody will cheer you on, feed your flame keep

your spirit strong give you strength and will to

carry on.

 

 

 

aint gonna be no more procrastination,

so shout out loud with no speculation

as to what your spitting from your mouth just let it all out.

Fuck everybody whoever ever gave you doubt,

you'll prove to them all. It's your time to SHOUT!.

 

You'll rise as the star you was meant to be,

shining through eternity as your days get brighter

and brighter. Your focused on pleasin the nation

ya snap back to the stage, it's a new age,

a new dawn, a crusade your crossfade will fill

that void in your mind, as you sing for this new generation

you'll fill the stage with your very elation.

 

[chorus x2]

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

Everyone's different. They'll rise and they'll fall

but still knowing this they'll give it their all.

for there friend's and family from wherever they

came, they'll give it one shot, and if they fail,

then they only have themselves to blame.

 

 

Ya see the harder you try, the more you flail you

should know by now that's what life entails, ya

give it your all, but it's not quite there. ya look

back on life and think it's hardly fair.

 

 

 

ain't everybody gonna tolerate

they gonna try ta hate and descriminate

they gonna try their hardest to obliterate

everything you worked so hard for

so your mind can never eleviate.

 

 

So you'll go for you best, yo gonnal give it your all

as you rise to the top yo gonna shatter your walls.

As you stand on the stage the whole crowd your stunnin

You look to the future, better days are coming.

 

 

[chorus x2]

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

Now months have past and everbody knows your name,

yo-claim-to-fame, well before ya won the game

 

Better day's have came and went, your future is now

You're the star of the show, just look at your crowd

they standing up shoutin, givin a roar

keep rappin harder, and give em an encore!

 

Again I don't know about this... It's random but that's just me.

Edited October 28, 2012 by Jaded Avaricious

[Twilight Circuits 603]

Honestly, those are pretty good lyrics. The format they're written in could be better and you can still give the meaning of your feelings without swearing in it. World has enough of that already and i'm sure some young pony one day will love listening to your song so start it that way instead.

[</pony> 8]

Woah, bro! Nice. Although, as Twilight Circuit has said, You can get your point across without swearing. When you swear a little, It sounds worse than it actually is. So you either have to swear like Rai's Hell,or not at all. Personally, I recommend you don't swear at all. You are a pretty good lyric-smith. If only that were a word, lol. That could be your rapper name. "Lyric-Smith's great feedback from his work on the MLP forums has made him decide to go vinyl, and get a gig!". Although, You really need to lay off the foul language. I get offended easily, so it might just be me.

 

 

I couldn't help singing along, though. :3

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

Woah, bro! Nice. Although, as Twilight Circuit has said, You can get your point across without swearing. When you swear a little, It sounds worse than it actually is. So you either have to swear like Rai's Hell,or not at all. Personally, I recommend you don't swear at all. You are a pretty good lyric-smith. If only that were a word, lol. That could be your rapper name. "Lyric-Smith's great feedback from his work on the MLP forums has made him decide to go vinyl, and get a gig!". Although, You really need to lay off the foul language. I get offended easily, so it might just be me.

 

 

I couldn't help singing along, though. :3

 

I toned down on the swearing and replaced it with whatever I could think of, thanks for the advice. If only i could sing though

[Twilight Circuits 603]

If I may be so bold as to ask about the formatting of the lyrics? Did you have a song in mind with a beat that you were thinking of when writing in all of the lyrics?

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

If I may be so bold as to ask about the formatting of the lyrics? Did you have a song in mind with a beat that you were thinking of when writing in all of the lyrics?

 

Not really I just followed the most basic rap layout that i have seen. intro, small verse, small verse, chorusx2, small verse, small verse, chrousx2, rinse/repeat.

[Twilight Circuits 603]

Sup Everypony

 

This is a little something I wrote up while bored after work. This is a Rap song so hopefully you can figure out the flow of the lyrics. Enjoy

 

 

(keep in mind that the first verse is spoken like someone about to go insane.)

 

 

"I just don't understand it, everywhere -

everywhere I go I just can't seem to get it down. I

fail this I flunk that it's just old news to me but

now i'm gonna make you all see, I'm gonna get this

right".

 

 

now, I ain't a man of many words,

but that don't mean I can't spit slick rhymes and verbs.

Most rappers find this to be their claim to fame,

not to me though this is all just a game.

 

 

Life's an agewise old contest as you go on

it get's harder, you grow older and bolder and strong

Like a shooting star you'll rise to the heavens til you find

ya step up as you soar higher and higher in mind

 

 

you'll always rise to the top if ya can defeat,

so come out of the kitchen if ya can handle the heat.

You can reach the stars if ya can beat the game,

like everyone else you can always make your claim to fame.

 

[chorus]x2

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

As you enter the stage, the setting for your life

and the curtains are drawn with a blinding light.

everybody will cheer you on, feed your flame

keep your beautiful spirit strong

give you strength and will to carry on.

 

 

You'll rise as the star you was meant to be,

shining through eternity as your days get brighter

and brighter, screw everyone whoever ever gave you

doubt, you'll prove to them all. It's your time to

SHOUT!.

 

[chorus x2]

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

Everyone's different. They'll rise and they'll fall

but still knowing this they'll give it their all.

for there friend's and family from wherever they came,

they'll fail one shot, then they only have themselves to blame.

 

 

Ya see the harder you try, the more you flail

you should know by now that's what life entails,

ya give it your all, but it's not quite there.

ya look back on life and think it's hardly fair.

 

 

So you'll go for you best, yo gonnal give it your all

as you rise to the top yo gonna shatter your walls.

As you stand on the stage the whole crowd your stunnin

You look to the future, better days are coming.

 

 

[chorus x2]

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

 

You'll rise to the top if you try your best.

You'll stand up tall and beat the rest.

The time will come for you to shine.

Like a solar eclipse til your on cloud nine.

 

Now months have past and everbody knows your name,

yo-claim-to-fame, well before ya won the game

 

Better day's have came and went, your future is now

You're the star of the show, just look at your crowd

they standing up shoutin, givin a roar

keep rappin harder, and give em an encore!

 

Again I don't know about this... It's random but that's just me.

 

Okay. I'm sorry. Instead of asking I just went and edited your lyrics a little. Much more simpler to do it that way. I hope you like it cuase it took me alot of time to figure as i'm sure it did you too. You can still keep the lyrics you wrote but if you read how i've worded it above and edited it. I'm sure you'll find the whole thing alot warmer. The only part that still isn't sitting right is the last verse. Still seems funky.

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

Okay. I'm sorry. Instead of asking I just went and edited your lyrics a little. Much more simpler to do it that way. I hope you like it cuase it took me alot of time to figure as i'm sure it did you too. You can still keep the lyrics you wrote but if you read how i've worded it above and edited it. I'm sure you'll find the whole thing alot warmer. The only part that still isn't sitting right is the last verse. Still seems funky.

 

Thanks for the edit, but the whole idea of the song is someone doubting themselves but then coming to terms with their own doubts and bettering themselves for it. it need to have the darker/colder side to it to allow for that effect.

[Twilight Circuits 603]

But that amplifies the effect of negative emotions. By turning it around and amplifying positive, the same message about doubt and bettering oneself is still there and the lesson is come across even better as it leaves more warmth in a pony's heart. And in return, it comes back to you because that simply is the power of love. And who doesn't want to feel more love?

[Nikki-Layne 16]

But that amplifies the effect of negative emotions. By turning it around and amplifying positive, the same message about doubt and bettering oneself is still there and the lesson is come across even better as it leaves more warmth in a pony's heart. And in return, it comes back to you because that simply is the power of love. And who doesn't want to feel more love?

 

You're kind of missing the point, TC. Music, especially vocal music, is all about expression, getting your feelings out there to be heard. It would completely defeat the purpose if everybody only wrote love and happiness. By discounting negative subject matter, you're trying to limit the range emotion that an artist can express, and limits are an artists worst enemy. It's fine that you prefer music with a positive message, but you should recognize that as your own taste, and not try to impose it on others. Doing so is nothing but intolerant. That being said, you're entitled to your opinion, and I respect it.

 

Avaricious, love the lyrics! Do you have any way of recording the vocals? If you do, I'd love to produce an instrumental for it!

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

You're kind of missing the point, TC. Music, especially vocal music, is all about expression, getting your feelings out there to be heard. It would completely defeat the purpose if everybody only wrote love and happiness. By discounting negative subject matter, you're trying to limit the range emotion that an artist can express, and limits are an artists worst enemy. It's fine that you prefer music with a positive message, but you should recognize that as your own taste, and not try to impose it on others. Doing so is nothing but intolerant. That being said, you're entitled to your opinion, and I respect it.

 

Avaricious, love the lyrics! Do you have any way of recording the vocals? If you do, I'd love to produce an instrumental for it!

 

I'd love to be able to sing but unfortunately I cannot sing well but as long as we find somepony else to sing and credit is given then I would love for you to produce an instrumental for it. do you know any singers?

[Nikki-Layne 16]

I'd love to be able to sing but unfortunately I cannot sing well but as long as we find somepony else to sing and credit is given then I would love for you to produce an instrumental for it. do you know any singers?

 

You don't need to be able to sing to rap. Rapping is just speaking with rhythm and flow. But if you can't really rap either, I know a good few brony rappers who might be interested in spittin' your verses. I'll see if any of them are interested. Either way, I'll let you know what happens within the next day or so.

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

You don't need to be able to sing to rap. Rapping is just speaking with rhythm and flow. But if you can't really rap either, I know a good few brony rappers who might be interested in spittin' your verses. I'll see if any of them are interested. Either way, I'll let you know what happens within the next day or so.

 

Sweet thank ya so much NL, I'll give it a go tonight mind tou. I'll be pretty tired and baked from work... (literally i'm a baker on the ovens all day ya tend to lose ya voice.

[Skullbuster 1,906]

i quite like it, it carries a message, it flows well and it rhymes, do you have a beat picked out? i think you did a good job on it, i hope this happens

[Nikki-Layne 16]

i quite like it, it carries a message, it flows well and it rhymes, do you have a beat picked out? i think you did a good job on it, i hope this happens

 

Picked out? I compose all my own beats from scratch

But I have not started composing this one yet. I still need the vocals.

 

Sweet thank ya so much NL, I'll give it a go tonight mind tou. I'll be pretty tired and baked from work... (literally i'm a baker on the ovens all day ya tend to lose ya voice.

 

Ooh. I know how that goes, man. I used to tend to the ovens at a fast food pizza place. That stupid thing practically cooked my face and throat every day. :/

Anyway, good luck on recording the vocals.

[Jaded Avaricious 36]

i quite like it, it carries a message, it flows well and it rhymes, do you have a beat picked out? i think you did a good job on it, i hope this happens

 

Oh it's happening Nikki-Layne is helping me as I write this. It's gonna be off the hook, and going by what I have heard of his beats well, I'm so excited I'll probably out crazy Pinkie Pie right now