The Society of Flat-Young-Geocentric Earth Holocaust Deniers

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

Quickly everyone! There's not much time left.

 

All must submit to the authority of the S.F.T.G.E.H.D. or else perish once the Rapture hits and people start randomly floating away!

 

Would you really want to stay down here while others get to defy gravity?

 

I don't think so. The world will be ending sometime today.

 

I know this because some ancient people made a calendar - AND THE CALENDAR HAD A FUCKING END TO IT!!!!

 

This could only mean one thing. They were clearly trying to predict the end of the world. Why else would a calendar have an end to it?

 

This society has been sent here by some powerful what-ch-ma-call-it or another to save you from this pain and destruction.

 

All must join us. We hold the truth.

 

Here are the four main dogmas you must accept to be saved by us.

 

1. The Earth is entirely flat, not spherical. The shadow cast on the moon by the Earth is really just an illusion and all the satellites that show the Earth as a sphere have been rigged by the communists in order to fool you.
2. The Earth is young. No, not 6,000 years old [the Young-Earth creationists have it wrong]. The world sprung out of nowhere no less than 350 years ago. The history books dating events prior to the year 1650 have all been manipulated by the Mormons. There was no antiquity, no dark ages, no middle ages, no renaissance. Don't accept the lies. These "historical" periods were concocted to fool humanity into believing mankind had been through more than it has.
3. The Earth is the center of the universe. I'm on Earth. I'm special. Therefore everything revolves around my location [Earth].
4. The Holocaust is a fraud. Hitler was trying to warn others of the coming doom. The Freemasons [i.e. "the Allies"] silenced him and paid the Jews money to promote this lie. That was done to discredit Hitler.

 

Now that you know the truth, submit or die.

 

 

REPLY SAYING YOU WISH TO JOIN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

Edited December 21, 2012 by Lady Rarity Pony

[Pinkazoid 3,493]

I WANNA LIVE

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

I WANNA LIVE

YOU SHALL LIVE!

 

:3

[Otter 1,942]

I reject your "reality" and substitute my own:

 

We are all a part of a hive mind. The central brain is a soda can named Geoffrey Copperbottom. Mr. Copperbottom lives inside the moon, which is really a giant spaceship which holds the Narthmlyynguuls, an ancient alien race. The Narthmlyynguuls accepted Mr. Copperbottom into their spaceship because he looked really depressed, on account of the fact that he was floating in space. They took him in and gave him 10 galleons and a piece of laser pie. Geoffrey used his enormous flatulence to form the entire universe around this spaceship. He then took all his pieces of stool and formed them into odd humanoid creatures, which he placed onto a blue and green planet. He originally intended to call this planet "UuukyBlookyHTRulesCeresbaneDroolsMcWillyLand", but he sneezed just as he was about to bestow the name upon the little planet. The sneeze came out sounding rather like "Earff", so the royal scribe of the Narthmlyynguuls wrote down the name, and as we all know, once the royal scribe has written down a name, it can never be changed. So Mr. Copperbottom thought, "Ah, screw it. Earff is a decent name, I suppose." Then he decided to go create a tulpa of Chaotic Discord's butt. He named it "Tom the Marvolous Riddle". 

 

 

And that, children, is how babby is formed.

[Page Turner 607]

Waitaminute... if the earth is only 350 years old, then the Mayans never existed! so we have nothing to worry about!

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

Waitaminute... if the earth is only 350 years old, then the Mayans never existed! so we have nothing to worry about!

DON'T BRING LOGIC INTO THIS.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

[Page Turner 607]

You are using Comic Sans. your argument is invalid.

[Twiliscael 3,960]

I wanna live :3