The Corrupted Wish Game

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but you get thrown into the Imperial Dungeons for using a palindrome for a reason other than referring to the Mirrororrim Princecnirp.

[NullAccount 287]

Granted, but you didn't make a wish so everyone gets confused and tries to decode some hidden meaning, but by the time they give up you've added a wish. 

I wish that I knew the meaning of covfefe. 

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but it means something boring and you sink into a perpetual state of existentialist depression.

I wish that I could get enough famous signatures to start a collection of them.

[Contrast 292]

@Duality

Granted; however, you will be so immersed in your hobby of collecting signatures, you will forgot personal boundaries and find yourself consonantly jailed for stalking and restraining order violations.

I wish for Bloodbourne 2 to be released / in development T_T

Edited June 18, 2017 by Contrast

[Prospekt 11,018]

Granted, but it's not finished. You get the demo version.

I wish I had some popcorn.

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but it's Starlight's popcorn and she hunts you down with a rifle for it.

I wish for a rifle.

[CypherHoof 26,482]

24 minutes ago, Duality said:

I wish for a rifle.

Granted, but it's Starlight's rifle and she hunts you down with a popcorn gun for it.

I wish for a copy of Starswirl's last book.

[Will Guide 21,360]

25 minutes ago, CypherHoof said:

I wish for a copy of Starswirl's last book.

Granted, but like his unfinished spell from Season 3, it's very incomplete.

I wish I knew what it's like to be a dragon

[Castle Bleck 19,327]

Granted, but said knowledge is entirely based on Spike's "Butt Monkey"-moments.

 

I wish for the power to grant my own wishes.

Edited June 18, 2017 by A.V.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but to quote a great Disney Movie:

"You want to be a genie, you got it and everything that goes with it! (Sucks you into a lamp) PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER! Itty bitty living space."

I wish politics were easier to understand!

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but Parliament now consists entirely of people hitting each other over the head with crowbars.

I wish that Parliament consisted entirely of people hitting each other over the head with crowbars.

[Castle Bleck 19,327]

Granted, but now the entire country's streets are filled with anarchy.

 

I wish to divide by 0.

 

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but then the WHOLE world becomes undefined like the original math expression.

Speaking of math, I wish we could have endless pi. 

[Clod 8,294]

Granted, but pi is already endless? You mean pie? If so then granted but the entire universe becomes pie so you can't survive.

I wish my internet wouldn't slow down randomly.

[CypherHoof 26,482]

Just now, meme said:

I wish my internet wouldn't slow down randomly.

Granted - your internet is now always (and predictably) the exact same speed as a 33.6K modem.

I wish politicians were required to breathe helium before they gave speeches so they always sounded like Donald Duck...

[Will Guide 21,360]

Granted, but rather than slow down randomly, it will consistently slow down!

I wish ninjas didn't steal my answer like CypherHoof just did!

Edited June 18, 2017 by WiiGuy2014

[ImDaMisterL 532]

Granted, but now you just never reply.

I wish I had a faster laptop.

[Prospekt 11,018]

Granted, but the only thing it does faster is grow legs and run away.

I wish I knew how to cook.

[Will Guide 21,360]

Just now, ImDaMisterL said:

Granted, but now you just never reply.

I wish I had a faster laptop.

Granted, it's just a little faster than a turtle.

I wish it's possible to call dibs on these posts, so that multiple people can't all answer at the same time and end up confusing the reader. 

Doh! NINJA again! And that just proves my point.

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but now your government consists entirely of Donald Duck impersonators.

I wish more people liked maths.

[Castle Bleck 19,327]

Granted, but it's only 2 more people.

 

I wish the world no longer had severe weather (e.g., hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.).

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but now it has no more weather. Causing us all to die horrifically, of course.

I wish for a cool walking stick.

[Prospekt 11,018]

Granted, but it prefers to walk around on its own when you're not around.

I wish my cat could speak.

[Duality 10,739]

Granted, but it reveals that it secretly despises you and everything you stand for and that it is actually the rightful owner of your house and everything in it due to a "squatters' rights" loophole and that it has a gun and will use it if you don't permit it to take you hostage for use as a bargaining chip against the Feds, who have been looking for your cat ever since it impersonated you online and illicitly accessed your bank account to squander your life savings on Candy Crush.

I wish to have copyright of the letter 'H'.

[Number62 1,258]

Granted, but you are prohibited to speak, use, look at, or involve yourself with other letters or characters.

I wish my health could always be in top form.