Things I learned from Disney movies

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Or rather, lies. XD Feel free to add to the list.


* Regular air will make balloons float.

* All pretty people are good, and all ugly people are evil.

* Men spontaneously sing romantic love songs.

* All women have great hair.

* True love conquers all and the good guys always win.

* You can only be happy or be considered pretty if you're thin.

* Everyone can randomly break out in a musical number without any rehearsing and on the spot.

* When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

* When you kiss someone who is sleeping, they won't reflexively punch you in the head when they wake up startled.

* When someone wakes up after one hundred years asleep, their first words will not be, "Bloody hell, I'm dying for the toilet!"

* You don't need to work for what you want in life. A man will just come and save you. By the way, this only happens if you are pretty.

* To fly, all it takes is faith and trust... and a little bit of pixie dust.

* If a lion roars, it makes everything all better.

* You only get in trouble if you get caught.

* Cuddly forest creatures have complex human-like personalities.

* The person that is second in command is always evil and out to get the top dog.

* Parrots can form intelligent sentences like humans.

* Dogs like watching television shows featuring other dogs.

* Birds help you dress, rather than crap all over you.

* Elephants can fly if their ears are big enough.

[chattydash 62]

Or rather, lies. XD Feel free to add to the list.

 

 

* Regular air will make balloons float.

 

* All pretty people are good, and all ugly people are evil.

 

* Men spontaneously sing romantic love songs.

 

* All women have great hair.

 

* True love conquers all and the good guys always win.

 

* You can only be happy or be considered pretty if you're thin.

 

* Everyone can randomly break out in a musical number without any rehearsing and on the spot.

 

* When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

 

* When you kiss someone who is sleeping, they won't reflexively punch you in the head when they wake up startled.

 

* When someone wakes up after one hundred years asleep, their first words will not be, "Bloody hell, I'm dying for the toilet!"

 

* You don't need to work for what you want in life. A man will just come and save you. By the way, this only happens if you are pretty.

 

* To fly, all it takes is faith and trust... and a little bit of pixie dust.

 

* If a lion roars, it makes everything all better.

 

* You only get in trouble if you get caught.

 

* Cuddly forest creatures have complex human-like personalities.

 

* The person that is second in command is always evil and out to get the top dog.

 

* Parrots can form intelligent sentences like humans.

 

* Dogs like watching television shows featuring other dogs.

 

* Birds help you dress, rather than crap all over you.

 

* Elephants can fly if their ears are big enough.

 

*dont forget toys come to life when you are not around

 

*monstors live in you closet

 

*hammsters can open a truck door

 

*there is always a rocket pizza car in all pixar movies

 

*when the earth gets too dirty we will all be ugly because we will all be fat

 

*rats cook the food in fansy resturants

 

*sharks will not eat fish fish are friends not food

 

*fish can read

 

*dogs can talk and fly plains

 

*monstors live on screems

 

*and there is always hidden mesages in all movies and refrensis too

Edited January 24, 2013 by chattydash

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

I learned the following:

 

*Tea pots are bad at puns

 

*The uncanny valley is regularly crossed

 

*Everything has emotions

 

*Disney can't make good comedies.

[Freewave 1,145]

_{You can't be a princess if you don't have an animal sidekick. Just will not be allowed. They are are allowing bugs and lizards now to qualify.}

 

_{Most disney characters don't have a mother or they will have an evil stepmother instead,  If there's an exception to the rule then they'll likely be despised and turned into a bear.}

 

_{If you lie your nose will get an erection.}

Edited January 24, 2013 by Freewave

[Scootalove 10,689]

There are always moving objects in Disney movies.

Since, Disney can't come up with good comedies better to add a talking teapot.

[Agent153 50]

That when ever something really tragic happens something positively good happens next.

 

Your dead parents will speak to you through clouds.

 

And if you have a moral dilemma a talking cricket will appear and give you advice on the right thing to do.

[hawkflame 3,310]

Drinking water with a little alcohol mixed in is just like going on a really bad acid trip. With really, really disturbing elephant imagery.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

Birds help you dress, rather than crap all over you.

 

Your original post made me laugh so hard xD! It is true though and everything way overly dramatic in most of the disney movies not that they a bad. I enjoy the old masterpieces but when you point out things like this xD it is true and funny. 

[SkyeRibbonPwny 406]

* You can always tell when something will move because its animated differently

*Sixteen is a grown-up ready to get married even if you still call your father "Daddy"

* Bad guys always wear purple, red, or green.

* Smart girls are unnatractive

*The third Cinderella was ten times better than the first

*NO MAKEUP NEEDED!

*Assholes always get the girl....or die.

[Faceless 101]

*One of your parents will die tragically, starting off your adventure.

 

*People get married the day after meeting.

 

*Orchestras stalk people.

 

*NEVER LIE!!! NOT EVEN TO SAVE YOUR FAMILY!!! NOT EVEN TO SAVE THE WORLD!!! NEEVVAAaa!!!

[~Princess Luna~ 31]

Things I learned from Disney movies

 

= Disney movies now suck

 

= Physics don't apply

 

= Villians look like hags

 

= Magic is the anwser to anything

 

= If its a dragon its evil

 

= There is something in life if you live in a disney movie

 

= Toy Story 2 mad grown man cry

 

[Strawberry Tart 161]

*Always, and I mean always, talk to random strangers you find in the forest. 

 

*If you are on a flying carpet miles above the city where the air is cold and will dry your eyes out faster than you can say "Blink"....Do not by any circumstances close your eyes. 

 

*Things needed to solve problems:

• Love
• Magic
• Logic and problem-solving skills  <--Haha, no.

[SkyeRibbonPwny 406]

Dear Princess Celestia.....

Ah didn't learn anything!!

 

Lol ultimate high fiving myself!

SSeriously, is it bad that i feel this good about myself for thinking of that lol

[Two-of-Hearts 168]

If a lion roars, it makes everything all better.

 

Of course! It all makes sense now. Simba is a Dovahkin!

 

Things I learned:

 

-Bad guys that break out in song are somehow all the more menacing

 

-Princess Jasmin is hot

 

[Blizzard Gale 272]

*Cutting a string with chipped scissors can kill people. - Hercules

*Dogs love hotdogs covered in cement. - Oliver in company

*Turning wizards into animals is considered a duel. - Sword in the stone

* A magical cauldron can give life. - The black caudron

* Robin hood was a red fox. - Robin hood

 

Edited January 24, 2013 by Claudia

[Rolls Royce 606]

What I've learned...

- Toys can drive pickup trucks.

- You're automatically evil if you have a mullet or dive a fancy car.

- You're teapot won't scream in pain when you remove it's lid or pour it's contents.

- Rabbits can ice skate.

- Dogs can fake getting hit by a car.

- You have to wear tights to be a prince.

- People in NYC won't get mad when a dog jumps on their car.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

*Always, and I mean always, talk to random strangers you find in the forest. 

Especially strange men, and even more especially if you're wearing a short dress that shows your legs. Nothing bad could ever come of this.

[Agent153 50]

Forgot an important thing from my list!

 

Only really attractive guys get the girl in the end despite if you save their lives. Im looking at you Hunchback, and I mean the original.

[BeatrixBow 119]

*You have to be black to make gumbo

*blond hair is magical and brown hair is not

*you can fall in love with someone without even knowing them

*squid ladies are evil, no matter what

*bad guys always try to get revenge

*if you want to be a disney character, you can have one parent 

*old ladies can be very manipulative

*strangers will braid your hair with flowers that could be poisonous

*glass slippers look better than they sound

*fat people are ugly

*robots have feelings

*all disney characters have beautiful singing voices

*anybody can dream

*animals can talk

I will add others I did not think of. xD 

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Rules for Royalty

Queens are evil.

Every princess is good.

Kings are all fops who have no idea what is going on.

 

The ironclad rules of Disney are why there is no queen in Equestria.

[Jammo 986]

- Aladdin told me that all good Arabs sound like Americans and have light brown skin and all the shady ones like Jafar and Abis Mal have exaggerated Arab features and darker skin.

 

-Bambi taught me that rabbits are so horny that can't stop thumping their asses on the ground.

 

- Lion King taught me that hyenas are actually black female comedians and stoner Mexican film stars.

Edited January 25, 2013 by Jammo

[N8C8 56]

"Disney princess movies teach us a lot! For example, CInderella teaches girls that it doesn't matter how poor you are... as long as you're REALLY hot... Snow White teaches us to... nickname midgets! And Sleeping Beauty teaches us about... date rape- okay, maybe not that one..."

- Bo Burnham

[NewCalamity 3,454]

This thread appears to be some manner of random (but strangely enjoyable) nonsense, or something spammy of the sort. Thus, it has been sentenced to the Forum Lounge section of Cloudsdale Colosseum. This is an automatically generated message, by the way.

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

Women will typically sing while cooking and cleaning for seven unruly men.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Wasn't sure where to stick stuff like this; never mind, I'll know for next time. Anyway, back to the thread.

 

 

* Eating teacakes and mushrooms will affect your height.

* Clean all oil lamps, on the chance there's a genie in it.

* Old ladies with plastic wands who run around singing odd songs can be trusted absolutely.

* An alligator can play in a jazz band. So can a cat.

* Chipmunks have New York accents.

* Fish can sing and bizarrely, poke their heads out of water and talk without any difficulty breathing.

* Your toys are alive, and your teddy bear might just be evil.