Opinions on guys and crying?

[Zygen 6,066]

This is just something I felt like I wanted to discuss and see everypony's opinion on. I assume that this being a brony community and the fact that most of us won't care for gender sterotypes and the such on here, but I still wanted to see what type of discuss that could be brought up, or maybe someone has less of the mainstream opinions I'm expecting from this.

 

And I'm also just bored so bare with me .

 

Anyways to the topic, as everypony should know, it is generally looked down on for guys to cry at all really, infact most if not all emotions seem to be looked down upon in our society for men to show.

 

I personally think as a guy that that is stupid, I have always thought this, even before becoming a brony. I think its dumb that guys aren't allowed to show any emotions, or as society calls it "weakness" I really have never got it.

 

It all starts from being a kid, I'll bet that most of you who are guys where always told by your parents never to cry and taught to me tough, and maybe if you had a sister she wasn't as strictly taught these restrictions. Now of course you where told to stop crying from a fit and such and I understand that, but I'm talking about crying over something that is making you sad, not just throwing a fit.

 

This teacher is further reinforced as you enter school and the such, eventually it starts to affect your thinking and I think it even affects your actual feeling and connection to your emotions.

 

I feel that as time goes on and this thinking is reinforced it almost sinks into you never to cry, and you tell yourself it so much you actually just don't cry or even stop showing as many emotions, you almost become more numb to it I think.

 

I kinda feel like this has got to me in Highschool myself, I actually find that I don't really show that much of any emotion anymore, and even if I actually wanted to cry, or even if I was alone, I still don't cry.

 

Anyways, I understand that girls are technically speaking going to be made to be more sensitive to emotions, but I think that if guys weren't constantly put into the gender sterotype we are we might be a bit more sensitive normally then we are.

 

Well I think I'll stop here and let y'all put some inputs in, of course I'd love to hear from both guys and girls, and don't worry if your opinion is different! It makes discussions more interesting anyways!(Everypony simply agreeing with me would probably make for a boring discussion anyways .)

 

So what do you think? Do you think guys crying is ok? Or is there only certain cases when you think its ok? Did you feel this way before being a brony? Or did becoming a brony sorta make this something you started to think?

 

I'm all ears to hear some discussing! Plus I'm bored and don't really have anything better to do... Well except homework... And my drawing I was making... Bah whatever I'm procrastinating deal with it .

 

Discuss away!

[Commander Urdnot 2,680]

I hate how crying is seen as weak, I really do. Not just for guys, but for girls too. Feelings are regarded as weakness nowadays, and it sickens me. Our feelings are what make us human, they should be embraced, not discarded. Some people aren't even able to cry because they feel like their inferior because of it. They're unable to acknowledge their feelings, and because of this, they don't know how to deal with their own emotions. It's no wonder why teenage depression is so common now-a-days.

 

I see people all the time judging others for crying and showing emotion. They call them weak, and then treat them like they're less of a person because of it.

 

What kind of person does that? An asshole, that's who.

Edited January 28, 2013 by UrdiePie

[CrystalRose 636]

I think that people should be allowed to display their emotions. Obviously, this isn't appropriate all the time, for example if you're at work and supposed to be professional. But under normal circumstances, it's ok to cry whatever your gender. Whilst moping for days or weeks is unhealthy, letting it all out and having a good cry can help you feel a bit better.

[morethanicecream 116]

For a person that has battled depression, I am accepting of it. I mean, if a guy cries in public, I feel bad. That means you have pushed him to his limit, or even passed the breaking point. Crying is acceptable. If you bottle up your emotions, than you are damaging your health. I don't show much emotion, but I do accept crying. We all have times in our life where we are going through so much stress and pain. Now, please don't be a drama queen like Rarity and cry in public. But you can if you want, I'm not in control of your life.

[Alex Kennedy 1,228]

This is a fairly basic part of gender socialization, where males are encouraged not to show any emotions, with the exception (in some cases) of anger. Women are taught the opposite, that they are expected to show their emotions more, but not anger. Crying is one of the strongest displays of emotion that we see on a fairly regular basis, so it stands out as one that is frequently sanctioned.

 

Now that I've made myself sound much smarter than I am, I'll just tell you my honest opinion, which is that there's no reason men shouldn't feel free to cry in public just as much as women.

[Zygen 6,066]

I hate how crying is seen as weak, I really. Not just for guys, but for girls too. Feelings are regarded as weakness nowadays, and it sickens me. Our feelings are what make us human, they should be embraced, not discarded. Some people aren't even able to cry because they feel like their inferior because of it. They're unable to acknowledge their feelings, and because of this, they don't know how to deal with their own emotions. It's no wonder why teenage depression is so common now-a-days.

 

I see people all the time judging people for crying and showing emotion. They call them weak, and then treat them like less of a person because of it.

 

What kind of person does that? An asshole, that's who.

Well said, I've actually not had to many a girl who's really shown themselves as afraid to cry, or really even been thought of as less for it. Maybe being a guy though I'm not around enough girls to say my experience is valid though. Still it seems around here to be more or less welcome.

 

It does actually make alot of sense that the whole society's views as emotions being weak is linked to all the depression everywhere, I mean if you don't ever release your emotions your eventually just going to bust like a balloon with to much air in it. And when that happens it can get quiet drastic.

 

I've only cried twice really, I almost cried a 3rd time, but I didn't want to just because I didn't feel like being judged by everyone. The first time was like one of the first days of public school for me in 8th grade, so I guess people cut me some slack for it, or they just talk about it behind my back, I forget the other time though.

 

I honestly don't see people cry very often though, I see girls sometimes, and I honestly don't think I've ever seen a guy cry at my school, besides me.

[Leafeon 2,702]

Believe me... majority of girls like a guy who cries... because they see it as him being sensitive... which is a good trait.

 

I, personally, could care less. It's part of an extreme negative emotion and should be addressed as such.

[Zygen 6,066]

I think that people should be allowed to display their emotions. Obviously, this isn't appropriate all the time, for example if you're at work and supposed to be professional. But under normal circumstances, it's ok to cry whatever your gender. Whilst moping for days or weeks is unhealthy, letting it all out and having a good cry can help you feel a bit better.

Yeah I think there comes a time where you need to either pull yourself together, or get someone else to help you, or of course you don't want to walk up to an interview or something and just start crying for no reason. In normal circumstances though like school and stuff as long as its not a fit or something I see no reason for it not being acceptable.

 

For a person that has battled depression, I am accepting of it. I mean, if a guy cries in public, I feel bad. That means you have pushed him to his limit, or even passed the breaking point. Crying is acceptable. If you bottle up your emotions, than you are damaging your health. I don't show much emotion, but I do accept crying. We all have times in our life where we are going through so much stress and pain. Now, please don't be a drama queen like Rarity and cry in public. But you can if you want, I'm not in control of your life.

Yeah if your gonna cry like over everything thats another extreme I dislike, no need to go about everyday life and be like "THIS IS THE WORST.. POSSIBLE... THING" I honestly don't see guys ever cry, honestly I think they are quicker to do something like suicide or even taking it out on someone else then to cry in public, which is quiet sad really.

 

 

This is a fairly basic part of gender socialization, where males are encouraged not to show any emotions, with the exception (in some cases) of anger. Women are taught the opposite, that they are expected to show their emotions more, but not anger. Crying is one of the strongest displays of emotion that we see on a fairly regular basis, so it stands out as one that is frequently sanctioned.

 

Now that I've made myself sound much smarter than I am, I'll just tell you my honest opinion, which is that there's no reason men shouldn't feel free to cry in public just as much as women.

Yeah, since anger is the only outlet of emotion men are accepted as able to have by society that tends to be where all of their emotions go, and that can get ugly honestly.

 

The other alternative is to just let it build up, and building up stress is not good, I read somewhere that said that type of behavior can actually shortern you life because of all the stress that builds up, while stress can be removed when crying.

 

That means that society's "No emotions" policy is literally deadly in a sense.

[Shanks 10,816]

As someone who has gone through severe depression I know just how unhealthy and destructive bottling up your emotions can be. I made that mistake because I didn't know how to handle the pain, I felt an intense rage burning through me it frightened me and I tried to control it by suppressing it but that only made it worse. All these people spouting this macho BS about men crying being weak need to look at themselves in a mirror before criticizing anyone for being weak, bottling suppressing emotions is not being tough it is being stupid.

[Kamarat 103]

Crying is totally ok in both gender. I don't cry often and it is very rare but I sometimes cry when I get really angry or depressed. Crying because felt sad? It is so rare maybe a few times so far. In public? Yeah when I'm angry like I said   
But usually guys are not so sensitive and emotional which makes a profile in people's minds like "a guy is not so emotional". Yeah guys are usually not. But that doesn't mean being sensitive or emotional is a down.

 

 

I hate how crying is seen as weak, I really do. Not just for guys, but for girls too. Feelings are regarded as weakness nowadays, and it sickens me. Our feelings are what make us human, they should be embraced, not discarded. Some people aren't even able to cry because they feel like their inferior because of it. They're unable to acknowledge their feelings, and because of this, they don't know how to deal with their own emotions. It's no wonder why teenage depression is so common now-a-days.

 

I see people all the time judging others for crying and showing emotion. They call them weak, and then treat them like their less of a person because of it.

 

What kind of person does that? An asshole, that's who.

Sometimes I realize how stupidly we live in this world. Trying to make us less human all the time. Like we can't just live normally and get along.

[Scootalove 10,689]

Crying is well an emotion to sadness. If we didn't cry, we wouldn't have feelings. I know people say when guys cry they are classified as weak, but when people cry at funerals its ok because they are meant to cry. I say crying is ok no matter what gender.

[Zygen 6,066]

Believe me... majority of girls like a guy who cries... because they see it as him being sensitive... which is a good trait.

 

I, personally, could care less. It's part of an extreme negative emotion and should be addressed as such.

Yeah I hear that alot to, of course its not easy considering the way society treats that behavior.

 

I don't quiet understand what you mean by extreme negative emotion though, do you mean it as in it is a bad thing? Or simply as the fact that it is from something negative happening in someones life?

 

I'm probably just over analyzing maybe, but I feel like I'm not understanding it fully.

And I'm suppose to be a nerd to .

 

As someone who has gone through severe depression I know just how unhealthy and destructive bottling up your emotions can be. I made that mistake because I didn't know how to handle the pain, I felt an intense rage burning through me it frightened me and I tried to control it by suppressing it but that only made it worse. All these people spouting this macho BS about men crying being weak need to look at themselves in a mirror before criticizing anyone for being weak, bottling suppressing emotions is not being tough it is being stupid.

Yep, I agree. Most of the guys who I know who do this type of thing can be quiet easy to tick off, they can get quiet annoyed by very slight things.

 

I personally have no problem with people showing emotions and such, and I actually like to listen to people like that, of course I don't really have people walking up to me asking to talk to me because first off their guys, and second of all I'm to shy so I highly doubt they'd want to speak to me .

 

Bottling stress is actually known to shorten your life though, according to what I've read. It can cause some health problems aswell.

[Leafeon 2,702]

Yeah I hear that alot to, of course its not easy considering the way society treats that behavior.

 

I don't quiet understand what you mean by extreme negative emotion though, do you mean it as in it is a bad thing? Or simply as the fact that it is from something negative happening in someones life?

I meant that it isn't a good emotion. Like happiness. And the later thing you said, is pretty much correct. 

 

Also, I want to correct myself. Apparently we only like guys who cry/are sensitive after we are actually dating them... Because... *grumbles*

[Quiles 77]

I'm going to cry when I feel like it and when it is appropriate, and if anyone has a problem with it I'll let them know exactly how many fucks I give (Hint, its less than one and an integer).

 

They say only real men wear pink. This is true, just as only real men cry

[Zygen 6,066]

Crying is totally ok in both gender. I don't cry often and it is very rare but I sometimes cry when I get really angry or depressed. Crying because felt sad? It is so rare maybe a few times so far. In public? Yeah when I'm angry like I said   

But usually guys are not so sensitive and emotional which makes a profile in people's minds like "a guy is not so emotional". Yeah guys are usually not. But that doesn't mean being sensitive or emotional is a down.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I realize how stupidly we live in this world. Trying to make us less human all the time. Like we can't just live normally and get along.

I don't think it should be something that we should be doing all the time of course, we don't  need to turn into a bunch of drama queens or anything, but I think people should atleast be accepting of it when it happens, and not just make it worse by insulting the person..

 

Seriously thats just horrible, I mean they're already at their breaking point and your mocking them for it?

 

So yeah it is quiet annoying when I see it, and its sad to.

 

Crying is well an emotion to sadness. If we didn't cry, we wouldn't have feelings. I know people say when guys cry they are classified as weak, but when people cry at funerals its ok because they are meant to cry. I say crying is ok no matter what gender.

Yeah I'm like for us not to become a society of robots without emotion.. That would be really boring .

 

Next thing you know people will say happiness is a bad thing to. :/

 

I guess crying at funerals is accepted because the people there know why your crying, and feel the same collective feelings. Still people should know theres a reason in other circumstances aswell.

[Discordian 6,015]

The fact that this question is even considered is pointless to me because society in general is just stupid enough to believe gender stereotypes actually mean anything but especially things that are only loosely tied to a gender such as crying. 

[Ron J 276]

I never cry. I could sit through and read My Little Dashie, because everyone says than fanfic kicked their feels in to next week, and not even come close to crying. But still, I think it's a very assholeish thing to say people are weak for showing emotion.

[Lightning Fluttershy 1,844]

That was me for most of my life. I never tried to show any emotions towards anything with the fear of being though less of by my parents or peers. Over the past 3 years or so I've realized a few things however.

• I don't give a fuck what my parents or peers think of me
• I genuinely like to cry
• Crying/showing emotions is a spectacular way to relieve stress

It wasn't really until last year that I came to these conclusions though. I'm not afraid to cry anymore, I'm not afraid to show emotions, I couldn't care less what people think of me for it, and I love it to relieve stress.

 

Crying or showing emotions doesn't make you weak. Those who judge you because of it are too weak minded to understand.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Lightning Fluttershy

[Zygen 6,066]

I meant that it isn't a good emotion. Like happiness. And the later thing you said, is pretty much correct. 

 

Also, I want to correct myself. Apparently we only like guys who cry/are sensitive after we are actually dating them... Because... *grumbles*

Oh ok, I get what you mean, excuse my ignorance .

 

Ohh the grumbles... .

 

I'm going to cry when I feel like it and when it is appropriate, and if anyone has a problem with it I'll let them know exactly how many fucks I give (Hint, its less than one and an integer).

 

They say only real men wear pink. This is true, just as only real men cry

Is it -24?

-25?

No?

 

Really the whole thing about pink being a girl color is just the perception of society, I mean it wasn't that long ago purple was a girl color to. It wasn't that long ago either that alot of us would've thought someone crazy for liking a show filled with pastel colored ponies, but thats changed a pretty large amount to.

 

Pink is truly a manly color though . And so is barbies...

Ok well I actually played with barbies this one time... Bah thats another story .

[Ron J 276]

The fact that this question is even considered is pointless to me because society in general is just stupid enough to believe gender stereotypes actually mean anything but especially things that are only loosely tied to a gender such as crying. 

Society: Demands equality between men and women, and people of different races. Still believes stereotypes about men and women, and people of different races.

[Zygen 6,066]

The fact that this question is even considered is pointless to me because society in general is just stupid enough to believe gender stereotypes actually mean anything but especially things that are only loosely tied to a gender such as crying. 

I agree, society is quiet stupid .

 

I never cry. I could sit through and read My Little Dashie, because everyone says than fanfic kicked their feels in to next week, and not even come close to crying. But still, I think it's a very assholeish thing to say people are weak for showing emotion.

I really don't cry myself either, I read My Little Dashie and never really shed a tear myself. Although I kinda felt like I should've. Still I agree that doesn't mean that people who cry are weak. Its a stupid thing to say.

I guess My Little Dashie just doesn't pull at me in the right way to make me cry.

 

But thats another discussion I suppose .

 

That was for most of my life. I never tried to show any emotions towards anything with the fear of being though less of by my parents or peers. Over the past 3 years or so I've realized a few things however.

• I don't give a fuck what my parents or peers think of me
• I genuinely like to cry
• Crying/showing emotions is a spectacular way to relieve stress

It wasn't really until last year that I came to these conclusions though. I'm not afraid to cry anymore, I'm not afraid to show emotions, I couldn't care less what people think of me for it, and I love it to relieve stress.

 

Crying or showing emotions doesn't make you weak. Those who judge you because of it are too weak minded to understand.

Yeah crying is a very efficient way to relive stress. I actually have alot of times where I almost want to cry just because I'm so stressed, but the fact that it really isn't something I do normally makes it basically impossible.

 

The times I do cry after the fact are actually quiet reliving though. So I know what you mean.

 

Society: Demands equality between men and women, and people of different races. Still believes stereotypes about men and women, and people of different races.

Scumbag society eh?

Seriously that sounds like hypocriticy at its finest though.

 

If they really want true equality they're going to have to not sterotype, its not that hard to understand . But apparently myself as a teen can understand it better then most of society.

 

Thats some pure logic :/.

[Shadow Chaser 633]

There's a fine line.  Be tough and don't cry are ways to teach kids that life will be hard and you need to have thick skin and be able to press on.  People just forget to tell them it's okay to cry at the same time.  Clearly there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but there is a point where crying doesn't get you anything and you need to suck it up and drive on.  Life won't wait.

 

But people cry and you have to let yourself sometimes.  Had a friend die while we were in Iraq.  Wasn't a dry eye in the entire Battalion.  Guys that I looked up to as the most badass of men broke down.  My friends that I had trained with and gone through so much terrible shit, and never seen them cry before, here we all were, just breaking down.  But at the same time, we had one day to really mourn his passing before we had to carry on with the mission.  It hurt the rest of the time we were there and it stills hurts me to this day, but you have to have the strength to press forward even in the wake of tragedy.

 

Crying is not a weakness.  It's an emotional reaction and a very natural and acceptable one.  However, being able to push past those feelings and move on is a great strength.  Never forget the feelings but do not let yourself be overwhelmed.

[Dusty Soul 2,611]

I honestly can't stand that if we show any emotion were thought of as weak.  I used to cry a lot, and I still cry sometimes, It's bad to hold it in so I don't see why people want to.  I don't care what people think of me anyways.

[Quiles 77]

Oh ok, I get what you mean, excuse my ignorance .

 

Ohh the grumbles... .

 

Is it -24?

-25?

No?

 

Really the whole thing about pink being a girl color is just the perception of society, I mean it wasn't that long ago purple was a girl color to. It wasn't that long ago either that alot of us would've thought someone crazy for liking a show filled with pastel colored ponies, but thats changed a pretty large amount to.

 

Pink is truly a manly color though . And so is barbies...

Ok well I actually played with barbies this one time... Bah thats another story .

 

And what do we say to these perceptions of society, we say neigh! we shall not pay you any mind! return thyselves to the back of Lyra's bookcase!

 

Oh, and f(x) = ln (x) where X is the number of fucks I give is a real number

[TailsIsNotAlone 3,695]

I think it's okay for guys to cry. Of course I never do it. I wasn't raised to "share my feelings" or any of that touchy-feely stuff. I used to have bouts of crying in school, but now I only open up when I'm alone. The last time I cried in public was at the terrible job I had last year. I managed to do it without anyone noticing, but that's when I knew I had to get out of there soon. xD