What is your idea of love?

[Crispin 56]

I'm just curious as to everybody's opinions on the definition of Love. Is it romance? Sex? Attraction? Commitment? Are there different types of Love? Different levels? Is there a difference between the Love between husband and wife and the Love between platonic best friends? What is that difference? How does Love happen? Does it come about of its own accord? Does it take a conscious choice?

 

It just seems that people often tend to have their own specific ideas of what is meant by Love, but everyone's ideas are different, so no one understands what everyone else is talking about half the time.

Love is something that's so wonderful but horrible at the same time. It's simple, yet complicated. Love is, the perfect imperfection.

Edited May 4, 2014 by Crispin

[Tholos 145]

I'm really concerned for the family of whoever thinks there is not more than one type of love.

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

Hmm... I've never really thought about it that way. I guess I'm just skeptical about what true love is since it's hard to find nowadays, with people cheating on each other constantly. But I guess true love is somewhere.

 

As I've said earlier on, it is my belief that true Love is something that you have to choose. I don't think it's possible to "find" true Love, because it doesn't just happen on its own. That's why I don't like the idea of "falling in love". It makes it sound like Love just happens on its own, but it doesn't. If it's something you just "fall into", I'd go so far as to say that it's not Love but infatuation. That's not to say that Love can't come from what starts as infatuation, but it only leads to Love when Love is chosen.

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

As I've said earlier on, it is my belief that true Love is something that you have to choose. I don't think it's possible to "find" true Love, because it doesn't just happen on its own. That's why I don't like the idea of "falling in love". It makes it sound like Love just happens on its own, but it doesn't. If it's something you just "fall into", I'd go so far as to say that it's not Love but infatuation. That's not to say that Love can't come from what starts as infatuation, but it only leads to Love when Love is chosen.

While I do agree with some points you mention, I would have to say in my case it's 50/50 with 'falling in love' and 'choosing to love'.

 

I had two break ups in my past, both were pretty devestating in my eyes, the 2nd breakup being so bad I given up the thought of finding love because it felt like it wasn't worth it. But when I met my husband, and our circumstances of dating (online long distance relationship by country differences), it was a choice, and a risky one.

 

He told me he had feelings for me...but fact of the matter is, he was German and I'm American, and the percentage of long distance relationships working out, were extremely low if not totally against us. I actually made the poor guy wait for 24hours to let me think things over before I told him I had feelings for him. Granted I did feel love because of the following:

 

I was lonely, I hardly smiled, food lost its taste for me, and I was going to College as a 2D animator, but  lost  insperation during my time as being single, and basically I was just 'surviving' and not 'enjoying' life. But that's not what I calculated in those 24hrs, I also realized that jumping into this relationship could leave to more heartbreak, over something as obvious as "it's a long distance that will more likely be stuck as an online relationship, seeing each other would be difficult". But I realized then...inspite of the long distance and poltential odds of it not working out... I realized this was an opprotunity for a chance at a relationship, if it didn't work, then at least I know I tried and didn't regret it.

 

So I came back and told him "You're crazy" and laid down what he was getting into and if he realized the odds of it working out, and commitments in the future. He said though he had not been more serious in his life, and even came to see me that year in the summer. To which it is said "love at first sight".

 

That quote is still proven for us now, because we're happily married.

 

So the answer to

How do you define Love?

It's a combination of chemistry, devotion, loyalty, and above all faith in each other...to never give up on it because it's worth something to the both of you. If it is meant to be, then you fight for it.

 

 

Our Wedding day Dec 14th, 2013

 

 

 

 

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

While I do agree with some points you mention, I would have to say in my case it's 50/50 with 'falling in love' and 'choosing to love'.

 

I had two break ups in my past, both were pretty devestating in my eyes, the 2nd breakup being so bad I given up the thought of finding love because it felt like it wasn't worth it. But when I met my husband, and our circumstances of dating (online long distance relationship by country differences), it was a choice, and a risky one.

 

He told me he had feelings for me...but fact of the matter is, he was German and I'm American, and the percentage of long distance relationships working out, were extremely low if not totally against us. I actually made the poor guy wait for 24hours to let me think things over before I told him I had feelings for him. Granted I did feel love because of the following:

 

I was lonely, I hardly smiled, food lost its taste for me, and I was going to College as a 2D animator, but  lost  insperation during my time as being single, and basically I was just 'surviving' and not 'enjoying' life. But that's not what I calculated in those 24hrs, I also realized that jumping into this relationship could leave to more heartbreak, over something as obvious as "it's a long distance that will more likely be stuck as an online relationship, seeing each other would be difficult". But I realized then...inspite of the long distance and poltential odds of it not working out... I realized this was an opprotunity for a chance at a relationship, if it didn't work, then at least I know I tried and didn't regret it.

 

So I came back and told him "You're crazy" and laid down what he was getting into and if he realized the odds of it working out, and commitments in the future. He said though he had not been more serious in his life, and even came to see me that year in the summer. To which it is said "love at first sight".

 

That quote is still proven for us now, because we're happily married.

 

So the answer to

How do you define Love?

It's a combination of chemistry, devotion, loyalty, and above all faith in each other...to never give up on it because it's worth something to the both of you. If it is meant to be, then you fight for it.

 

 

Our Wedding day Dec 14th, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

Congrats on the wedding! That's awesome!

 

Still, though, I maintain my opinion that love is solely a choice. The sense of "falling in love", in my personal opinion, is nothing more than infatuation in and of itself, but when you chose to commit to each other, that was Love.

 

I suppose it could well be that our disagreement is nothing more than a matter of semantics, though. That happens a lot.

 

Then again, that's sort of exactly why I made this thread to begin with: to see what other folks' definitions of Love are. Even though they're liable to be different from my own. I guess I just like to be a bit more selective in what I apply the term to. Although at the same time, I like to use it more broadly than some people.... Hmm......

 

And now I'm just rambling, so I'm'a stop now.

Edited May 4, 2014 by Henny Penny Benny

[Crispin 56]

Mayhaps. But even a marriage doesn't always have to be romantic. A spouse ought primarily to be your best friend, with sexual and romantic partner being in addition to that friendship.

Actually, I've got a new idea on what love is...

 

Love, is something you fight for- When you love someone you will do what you can to be able to show your love, you fight for the right to love whom you please. When you love someone you will do anything to help them and yourself, and in helping yourself you help them.

 

Example: My father lived in Argentina, while my mom in Brazil. What had happened is that my mom had gotten pregnant in Brazil with someone else, and then met my dad. My dad did not leave her when he knew the news, he stayed and when Meagel came back wanting the baby he fought for her, because he knew he loved her and she loved him. She wanted the child (Not me, my oldest brother) to be with my current father. 

 

Love is something you will have, but only once- Love, true love I mean can only happen once. You did not truly love them if you can love someone else. (This actually reminds me of another example from my mom and dad)

 

Example: During the time when my mother was with Meagel, she thought he was the 'one'. When he left her, because he wasn't ready, that showed he wasn't while my dad married her 6 months later. (6 months after they met) They have been married to one another for 14 years, and have been 100% faithful to one another.

 

Love is something that has it problems- Without a problem in a situation it's no fun, right? Same thing with love, it is impossible for it to be perfect where they are never mad at one another nothing works like that. But with love, you get over it because your love for them overcomes you, takes you over pretty much and you forgive and forget.

 

Example: Every fight they made up^^

 

It's luck- The chance of you finding the 'one' is 1 in let's say 3 billion (Because let's say 4 billion are married) but every second you live you have a 1 in billion chance to find the one. (This is why ending your own life is pointless...)

 

Example: ?

[websterhamster 203]

I just had some new insight on love. Courtesy of Sister Watkins of the San Jose Mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

 

"Love is a choice we make."

Edited May 4, 2014 by websterhamster

[child of the night 271]

@@Henny Penny Benny,

 

I know this answer is a bit late but here is how I define true love:

"The willingness to put another person over your own well being"

-child of the night 

[Geek0zoid 1,468]

Complicated. People these days tend to jump into love way too quickly, and therefore, it's not as meaningful.

[Nine 707]

Complicated. People these days tend to jump into love way too quickly, and therefore, it's not as meaningful.

Does that say something about love, or about people? Maybe people have lowered their standard for what they think love is.

 

I think that understanding why things are important to you is the foundation for love, but that a lot of people don't. When you know what your values are predicated on with certainty, you'll know with more certainty the sort of person that's right for you. And you will know how to judge their suitability for you.

 

But people by and large have succumbed to a cult of subjective thinking, and personal values more and more I think are floating inside people, anchored by little, ready to drift away, taking their feelings of love with them.

 

And it's not just love that suffers for it. I've heard many people complain that things *in general* don't have the sort of meaning they wished they did. Do you wonder why? I don't wonder why. Because meaning is a thing of substance, and substance requires certainty and commitment to principles, and people seem to abhor that.

[Geek0zoid 1,468]

Does that say something about love, or about people? Maybe people have lowered their standard for what they think love is.

 

I think that understanding why things are important to you is the foundation for love, but that a lot of people don't. When you know what your values are predicated on with certainty, you'll know with more certainty the sort of person that's right for you. And you will know how to judge their suitability for you.

 

But people by and large have succumbed to a cult of subjective thinking, and personal values more and more I think are floating inside people, anchored by little, ready to drift away, taking their feelings of love with them.

 

And it's not just love that suffers for it. I've heard many people complain that things *in general* don't have the sort of meaning they wished they did. Do you wonder why? I don't wonder why. Because meaning is a thing of substance, and substance requires certainty and commitment to principles, and people seem to abhor that.

That's... a really good thing to think about...

[#1FluttershyFan 206]

I define it as  a warm fuzzy feeling or a ball of energy expanding inside your chest.

 

Love is love. You know it when you see it (or feel it). About as simple as it gets.

[DubWolf 17,305]

Love is when you can't live happily without the other present (for a long time at least) or if you care a lot about their well being. Plus other factors I may not have stated.

 

Then there's the romantic love that I'm always poisoned with. I define it as the kind where they're always in your thoughts and you just always (or often) want to be with that person and well, wouldn't care in the world what's happening elsewhere. Just so long as you're with them you're happy, and well... .

Edited May 6, 2014 by Super80 Wolf

[Jeric 46,854]

I can't define what Love is. I can define around it, and explain what it does. Defining love (or what it means to me) without symbolism, smarm, and metaphor is almost impossible. For me the love feel for different people is unique. It's own flavor in a way (SEE WHAT I MEAN).  

 

Sigh.

 

You know what, I'm going to take the easy way out and paraphrase an old SCOTUS Justice, "I know it when I see feel it." Which is interesting considering what he was talking about.

 

-_-

[Nohbdy 4,108]

I'm just curious as to everybody's opinions on the definition of Love. Is it romance? Sex? Attraction? Commitment? Are there different types of Love? Different levels? Is there a difference between the Love between husband and wife and the Love between platonic best friends? What is that difference? How does Love happen? Does it come about of its own accord? Does it take a conscious choice?

 

It just seems that people often tend to have their own specific ideas of what is meant by Love, but everyone's ideas are different, so no one understands what everyone else is talking about half the time.

Hey, Henny Penny Benny! That's a very interesting topic, and I'm sure it's one that many people seek to answer. Indeed, there have been threads about this same topic in the past! I've merged them all into one, so perhaps you can find more answers that way. Thanks for understanding!

[GreyScholar 1,584]

Love is an often complicated emotion that can take many forms. Not only is the romantic love and the love we (should) have for family... but also love between friends.

The words "I love you" have very limited use, often with people showing embarrassment in saying these words. More, you see the words mostly only used (often falsely or too quickly) between thoses in a romantic relationship or between family members. Very rarely do you see expressions of love between friends, and anytime you do people assume there must be more involved.

People often have love without realizing it or think they have love when they don't. Love can fade and disappear, at least if attention is not given to it and at worst if it was never there to begin with.

Whole volumes and books have been written on the subject of love. Examples of its use and abuse can be found all over the world. Throughout history the joys, the sorrows, the drama, the tragedy of love can be seen.

Love is a gift, love is a hope... love can be a terrible and wonderful thing. Everyone longs for love even if they deny it and often many are willing to go to any lengths in which to have it.

The Power Of Love is a curious thing. It makes one man weep, and another man sing. It can change a hawk to a little white dove. Bring inanimate objects to life. It might just save your life. It makes people want to give up personal freedom to belong to each other. Don't you dare mock it... that's the Power of Love.

Edited May 7, 2014 by EquestrianScholar

[Arctic Night 884]

Chemical interactions in the brain that cause living beings to interact in varying ways.

[GreyScholar 1,584]

Chemical interactions in the brain that cause living beings to interact in varying ways.

No offense... but that is boring. Love is so much more then that.

Edited May 8, 2014 by EquestrianScholar

[Milky Jade 138]

Nothing more or less than recognizing personal values within another person. Love is the emotional response to the recognition.

 

Depending on how much you know about yourself, the reponse may never come or be delayed until you figured out the other person to a sufficient degree. This is why you can tell a lot about a person by looking at whom they fall in love with.

 

I reckon that most people have very low standards, that is to say: they can't wait to find a partner, and decide to 'love' them long before anything else has happened. Whether or not love will be retrofit or retconned or whatever, doesn't matter. You can delude yourself to love a person. It's possible.

[Nine 707]

 

 

recognizing personal values within another person. Love is the emotional response to the recognition.

 

Huh. That is almost word for word what Rand said about it. Which I agree with.

 

I also agree with the rest of what you said.

[Milky Jade 138]

Huh. That is almost word for word what Rand said about it. Which I agree with.

 

I also agree with the rest of what you said.

 

I'm surprised you caught that.

Well.. basically I'm extrapolating from a truism to end up at Rand's Selfish Love:

 

you love a person for their values (-> you cannot love a person for their vices) -> those values correspond to your values by necessity -> therefore the person you love must be an approximate projection of your values -> whereby loving them is a rationally selfish act -> unselfish love is therefore a contradiction in terms -> since you choose your own values selfishly, every person decides for themselves with whom to fall in love with -> "shotgun love" or even "love on first sight", or anything before the kind of love I talked about in the first post are therefore direct statements about the standards that person chose for himself and how much he or she actually cares about their own values.

 

Unless and until neuroscientists come along to prove me wrong, I'm going to say that is about as accurate a description on love that I can give you. Not that the chemistry is really important anyway. It's just how it in effect works. I brought up delusory love to hint at the sort of love that requires next to no*(edit) value assessments at all.

Edited May 8, 2014 by Milky Jade

[Nine 707]

@@Milky Jade, 

 

Don't be surprised that *I* caught it. I have a physical copy of her whole library that I navigate using Lexicon. There's not much you could quote of hers I wouldn't pick out at 300 yards, especially with that distinct Objectivist dialect.

 

I like that you shoot down the reductionist "it's just chemicals" viewpoint in favor of something more experiential. Technically everything is physics, but denying the experience of meaning (regardless of what's ultimately behind the curtain) is foolish. Which on a related but unrelated note is why I have a deep-seated loathing for determinists.

 

BUT ANYWAY ..

[Milky Jade 138]

@@Nine,

But anywayyyyyy?

20charminimum

[Zekromic 1,054]

Uhhmmm, starting with friendship, then developing a fondness with the person, and not follow the "rules" of having a couple. Just be the best friend you can be. Yeah, I'm an old fashioned dude 

[GreyScholar 1,584]

Unselfish love is therefore a contradiction in terms

Yet what of the parents who love their children despite them not sharing their parents values? Ones whose vices tak center stage and bring grief or pain for their parents?

 

This may be more of an extreme for my arguement but I feel it makes my point. Whether it be violance, criminal activity, drugs, a disregard for authority, even trouble at school... maybe even all of the above. The fact remains here are examples of such a situation.

 

If this isn't "Unselfish Love", then I don't think we have the same definition. Where you love someone despite their flaws and vices.