My first Fanfiction

[Blue Moon 6,336]

I decided to write a fanfiction after I read a post by Trent. It is called "Queen Chrysalis' Plan" and I have wrote the prologue so far. Tell me what you think of it so far. 

 

Inspiration by Trent

http://mlpforums.com/user/7797-trent/

 

Here is the link to the story:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysaliss-plan

Edited March 31, 2013 by Blue_Moon

[Panne 1,342]

You know rereading this I'm really starting to see the charm of it even if it isn't 100% of what I imagined in my head.Thanks for doing this.

[~Chaotic Parsley~ 240]

Hmm, began reading and I love it. There are the odd place here and there where you've add a word you shouldn't have or misspelt some words. But other than that I like it. I like the idea that Sombra's horn had transported to Chrysalis, something I may use in my Fiction (if you wanna read its in my Sig (The good, bad and discord)) 

[Rainbow Skywalker 642]

Needs a little bit of technical editing, but certainly a unique idea in my opinion.  I've heard of Chrysalis and Sombra teaming up, but his horn as a source of power is new.  BTW: Chrysalis'.  Not Chrysalis's, but Chrysalis'.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Would any of you like to proofread it for me? It would be much appreciated and I will credit you for it. Just PM me the grammatical errors and I will go fix it.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

I have wrote chapter One. Not much of the actual story had happened yet, so it is more of a Prologue Part 2, but I like to keep prologues one part and I didn't want to combine the two.

 

 Here is a link to it:

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

[Panne 1,342]

Quick thing in the first sentence you for got to put a s on she so you say that "...he (chrysalis) studied him...", about midway you say "He walked down some stairs he found and found himself..." just two minor details I found, but I actually said "D'aaaw" a few times young innocent Sombra is adorable!

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Quick thing in the first sentence you for got to put a s on she so you say that "...he (chrysalis) studied him...", about midway you say "He walked down some stairs he found and found himself..." just two minor details I found, but I actually said "D'aaaw" a few times young innocent Sombra is adorable!

Ok fixed them. Thanks for noticing them. And thanks for finding the young and innocent Sombra adorable. I guess that means I succeeded in making him cute.

 

Ok, Chapter 2 is finished and up. Here is the link:

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

 

Please tell me what you think and if you find any grammatical errors or spelling errors.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Ok, Chapter Three is up. Like usual, Tell me what you think and If you find any grammatical or spelling errors.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

 

Hope you enjoy it.

[Night Shine 767]

Ooh, this looks like it has potential!

 

I tells you what. I'll read it in a couple days, and then make you a really long critical review of it, and then shoot that over to you.

 

If you want to read some of my work to know where I'm coming from, check out either my best-written and least favorite fic or the one in my signature.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Ok, Chapter 4 is written and published. Check it out in the link below:

 

Like the usual, let me know on how I did and if there is any grammatical or spelling errors.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysalis-plan

[Nature's Spell 526]

An interesting story. I enjoyed it. I lack the energy, interest, or time to write a novel, which is why I'm sticking to short stories, but I really respect those who can pull it off. Bravo.

[Blue Moon 6,336]

Chapter Five is finished. Here is a link:

 

http://www.fimfictio...-chrysalis-plan

 

Hope you guys enjoy it. Like usual, let me know how I did and if there are any grammatical or spelling errors.