Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Discovery Dream 592]

I couldn't think of any puns so I checked a few of yours out. Now they won't talk to me.

 

Dirty puns FTW!

[Rainboom24 46]

CONFUCIOUS SAY!!!: man who go through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

Teachers do it with class.

Divers do it deeper.

Fishermen do it for the halibut.

[CapnKrunk 307]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

 

Thats the worst joke ever and it dosent even make sense

[Rainboom24 46]

Willem Dafoe wouldn't be the bad guy in spiderman if he was Willem Dafriend.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

That rock star got upset when my sun mooned him. But the situation didn't degenerate as I feared, I could satellite with some tactfulness.

[ASpark 49]

Do I have to Raichu puns?

 

Alright, whatever.

 

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't open the door?

"Triforce."

 

What is an FPS fan's favourite fish?

CoD.

 

What did the boy think when his Onix evolved into Steelix?

"Well, that was Onixpected."

 

What did Batman say to the baseball player?

"That's a cool bat, man."

 

What did the criminal say to the police officer?

"I'm Robin Banks."

[The Awesome One 1,315]

What do I think of Nightmare night?Well it's scary...scary BUTT FUN!

[Eenohay 318]

CONFUCIOUS SAY!: man who run behind car get exhausted. man who run in front of car get tired.

 

I laughed so hard at that

[Rainboom24 46]

I laughed so hard at that

 

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

[Eenohay 318]

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

 

It's nice, not a pun though

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Can you count, Dracula?

Let's take the bloody vampire and get the hell away from this demon!

 

...okay, those two sound... forced. But that's normal, I am Derpth Fader the Ponith Knight.

Herp derp.

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

Breaking News: The Energizer Bunny was arrested this morning, charged with battery.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

Another news item: A mathematics teacher was stopped at airport customs, and had his geometry set confiscated. He is now awaiting trial on charges of smuggling "Weapons of Maths Instruction."

[uoǝƃunp ɹǝpıds ǝɥʇ 7]

I don't have enough brohoofs for everyone

[Lord Sprixx 261]

Okay, here's a doozy. Did you hear that the Justice league all got free Iphones for being so helpful to the world? So the Flash says "Oh boy, can I have 1 too?" And batman told him "Nope, Apple doesn't support flash!"

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

The old man in a vegetative state was visited by three huggers. Unfortunately, he didn't look any less withered.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

There was an inventor in Pending, Malaysia named Patrick. Since he liked to sign his name and his location on his work, all of Pat's inventions said "Pat in Pending"

[dar tunsh 446]

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Watched that before. I never knew Brock to be the punny kind of guy, but I wouldn't pay attention to that sort of stuff when I was younger.

 

EDIT: I love Karishad. :3

Edited April 7, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[Lord Sprixx 261]

So did anyone else hear about the bull that was charging way to much? Well they took away his credit card... Tragic...

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

Q. What does a ball do when it stops rolling?

A. It looks round.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

Why would Jesus have been an excellent CFO (chief financial officer)?

 

He validated plenty of prophets

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Who's in the avatar of the poster above me?

Doctor XFezzle.

And who was he married to until recently?

Doctor Xwife.

 

How do Brits address each other in China?

I soy bean!

 

A UFO is hovering nearby. It's over Don Townsend, the old man's son born in Spain.

WHAT, DON TOWNSEND? There's no way that can be right!

 

Q: A car has a license plate TAN 270. What type of car is it?

A: An Infiniti

I only got this now, I'm so damn slow. I had completely forgotten my trigonometry lessons. Edited April 9, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

Chuck Schuldiner.

 

Edited April 9, 2012 by NeverNeverland