What Makes A Good Parent?

[Carbon Maestro 1,003]

After talking about internet restrictions for a particular age demographic here, I think it's fair to say that I'll make a separate discussion on parenting. Given that the majority of users here have parents (Everyone should, honestly), but very few are actually parents themselves, I want you to think long and hard on what it means to be a good parent.

 

I made a small list on what good things parents do:

• Be a Role Model (Teach kids charity and setup chores)
• Give Up Vice (No drinking or smoking)
• Establish order (Show them you keep them safe, set bedtimes, set chores). Explain your rules to them in a neutral manner.
• Be strict at a younger age, more lenient after 13 (Enforcing healthy habits like eating grapes is better than rewarding with candy which can lead to obesity). If you're too lenient early and then try to enforce rules you'll end up with a rebellious child, which is a disaster.
• After 13, foster child's independence. You should have taught them about self-control by now, and it's time to teach about online transactions, relationships, make them do their own homework.
• Be reasonable on discipline. Losing privileges for a week is manageable. Hitting children isn't.
• Hang out with your kid, do something on days off (like theme parks rides, museums, etc)
• If your kid has good interests (See MLP), don't stifle it! Keep in mind that your kid can't have the EXACT same interests as you.
• You can never be too loving to your kid.

Basically good parenting fosters empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness. Benefits include intellectual curiosity, motivation, and the desire to achieve.

 

I had a hard life and was neglected before I was adopted at 6 years old by parents who knew what they were doing. This stuff really did help me avoid the anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and drug abuse that comes with bad parenting. Yeah I nagged a lot like the typical child back in the day because of the strict parenting, but I really thank my parents for making me so upbeat nowadays.

 

It'll be interesting to hear from you, assuming that you aren't a parent yet. What do you think makes a good parent? Should a parent be strict at first, and more lenient once a child is a teenager? Is it bad to have too strict parents, or is it equally bad to have too lenient parents? Think about it in an objective way, especially if you're a teenager (Teens tend to dislike their parents the most).

 

And I like to hear from parents too. State that you are one if you're in the discussion.

Edited May 14, 2014 by Carbon Maestro

[Adorkable 2,737]

One of the biggest tips I can give to future (or current) parents is to show your child some support, plenty of it, actually.

 

When I was growing up, I never received much support from my parents, there were so many things I wanted to do, but wasn't able to because I had no support. I needed help with things, didn't know how to do them on my own, so without their support, I was unable to do so.

 

Parents, support your kid, please. Don't let their dreams die out because they have no one in the crowd cheering them on when it seems all hope is lost.

 

That's just a personal tip from myself, please take it to heart. ^^ (\

[Rift enchanted 378]

I'm not a parent, but a child. So I can give some advice on what kids like.

 

You should give incentive for doing good things like allowances

[Jeric 46,836]

**SMARM ALERT***

 

 

I'm a parent of two teenage girls (14 & 13). I became a father at an age that I deemed young (23). I bring that up because before you are a parent, you usually think that you know exactly how things will unfold and you learn very early on that you need to adapt on the fly and be prepared for anything.

 

 

@Carbon Maestro, Your bullet points are spot on.  A parent needs to be more that just a caretaker and provider. They are a guide, a teacher, spiritual instructor, moral compass during the earlier development, a disciplinarian, a family historian, a coach, a wall to be leaned on, an ear hear their voice, a cheerleader and champion, a realist ... and on and on.

 

Being a parent first starts with several things ... you should be a decent person. You should listen. You should be ready to sacrifice. You should have the ability to calm yourself. You should not be lazy. You should not be afraid to make some mistakes ... as they will happen. Parenting is hard work. Parenting is also one of the most fulfilling things that you will ever do.

 

I have two daughters who are night and day in personality types. One is shy but creative. The other is an extravert who looks like someone listening to a symphony when she is working on math and science. My approach to each of them has to be different. I've found out that you need to 'rock your babies' a little differently. (Note that they would both be glaring at be if they learned that I just referred to them as babies). This is one of the hardest skills to learn as a parent. To be consistent and fair ... but know and approach your children as unique people.

 

I do want to add to the message of Independence. I agree with one caveat and it is the hardest thing for me. To give a 13+ independence means that you need to accept that they will fail. Let them. Let them so that they can learn from their mistakes (provided it isn't dangerous). Don't jump in and save them all the time.

 

Take interest and don't force interest. Allow them to enjoy what you don't.

 

Finally, a parent may be a teacher ... but be ready to learn from them. When your teen comes to you and says that you never gave a cartoon about magical horses a fair shake and to watch it again with them ... have an open mind.  You never know where it will lead.

Edited May 15, 2014 by Jeric

[Milky Jade 138]

I think the question "what makes a good parent?" implicitly contains "what makes a person good?", and the only things left to be resolved would be "what are the prerequisites for raising a child properly"

 

You basically want to raise your child to be able to make as many free choices as they can for themselves without them steering out of control. It's your job to steer the second wheel and pull the safety brakes.

 

And that's all, I think... the question as to what makes a person good is deserving of an entire thread of its own dedicated to the question, so I will leave it there..