Kill the User Above with the item to your left.

[Klopp 2,050]

Hmm... a silver metal pen. There are numerous ways I could kill you with this, but I think I'll go with this one.
 
 
I come up behind you, with pen in hand, and before you even know what's happening I thrust the pen directly into your neck. It pierces through your jugular, then continues on to puncture your trachea. I shove it in so far that it is now stuck inside your skull, possibly even embedded in your brain.
 
Now... as for what happens next, you will find that it is especially difficult to breath anymore. Also, since I shoved the pen past your jugular, there is only a gaping hole from which you are losing lots of blood very quickly. I just leave you there on the ground, and you will either die from lack of oxygen (Less likely) or from blood loss. (Most likely, and far more unpleasant)
 
My work here is done.
 

---

 
 

Do you write murder mysteries? XD

 

No, I don't. I just tend to be a bit morbid at times, and I'm always very descriptive. Plus, I don't know how to write anything that isn't as colorful as what you see here.

 

Okay, actually, I do. It's just dull and uninteresting. Where's the fun in, "I stab you to death with a pen, lulz"?

[colt .45 259]

I am driving with my left hand, and typing this on my phone with my right hand. As I press "post", I look up in enough time to see a body hit my windshield. *starts to Google search for nearest Lee & Cates*

[Zombies164 22]

Not sure how much damage a pile of history notes can do, but we can give it a go

[colt .45 259]

Not sure how much damage a pile of history notes can do, but we can give it a go

 

If it fail to kill me, then it will repeat itself until it does. Automatic weapon, good choice.

[Grepper 3,192]

I swing my laptop bag over my head and strike you with it.

[yayayayayala 1,668]

If it fail to kill me, then it will repeat itself until it does. Automatic weapon, good choice.

You are BRILLIANT.

A pair of scissors! This one's in the bag!

[Grepper 3,192]

I hit you over the head with my Nook Simple Touch.

[Tao 7,665]

/uses a pillow to knock you out/

[Grepper 3,192]

I pitch a baseball in your direction at 90% the speed of light.

Randall Munroe looked into the physics that would take place if this happened, and the results would look like this:

 

 

Read the whole thing if you want.

http://what-if.xkcd.com/1/

Edited July 18, 2015 by GrepPIEtas

[Attack of the Pwns 894]

GrepPIEtas, you will unfortunately be dying a painful death tonight. I'll be paper cutting you to death with a magazine. Would you prefer June 2015's issue of Hot Rod Magazine or May 2013's Motortrend?

[Grepper 3,192]

I throw a cardboard box filled with junk at you.

 

GrepPIEtas, you will unfortunately be dying a painful death tonight. I'll be paper cutting you to death with a magazine. Would you prefer June 2015's issue of Hot Rod Magazine or May 2013's Motortrend?

 

Damn, not again!

[Klopp 2,050]

Oh, look, a blue Shuriken. This will be pretty easy.

 

 

I suppose I could throw it... but that's not as exciting as the feel of carving flesh by hand. I'd rather pin you down and run the blade down the center of your chest. Then right when I get to your stomach, I'll suddenly plunge it deep into your bowels. Twisting the blade, then removing it to thrust it into different parts of your body, littering you with holes.

 

 

By the way, my weapon looks like this:

 

 

 

 

 

I bought it cause it looks awesome.

[Guest]

My PC Tower.

 

... C'mhere, Lunaris. I got a present for you! c:

[Starlight Sky 374]

My bedroom door, huh?

 

Stand riiiight here, ok?

[Velcorn 279]

Suffer from a bag of potato chips!

[Grepper 3,192]

I throw my USB audio interface at you.

 

Oh, look, a blue Shuriken. This will be pretty easy.


I suppose I could throw it... but that's not as exciting as the feel of carving flesh by hand. I'd rather pin you down and run the blade down the center of your chest. Then right when I get to your stomach, I'll suddenly plunge it deep into your bowels. Twisting the blade, then removing it to thrust it into different parts of your body, littering you with holes.


By the way, my weapon looks like this:

I bought it cause it looks awesome.

 

It does look awesome, but I'm too dead to notice.

[Starlight Sky 374]

A wall.

 

Well. You're about to get a real good look at it.

[Velcorn 279]

Oh yeah, 'Murica where you can buy weapons as you please... In Germany, shurikens are banned all together

 

Anyway, I will kill you with my LG G4... I still don't know how but I'll figure out a way...

[Grepper 3,192]

I hit you with an original Game Boy.

[Silverhoof 2,844]

A cool, refreshing Pepsi. Oh and some potato chips. Death by...um...snacking.

 

Oh forget it. Debbie and I are watching a movie. Pull up a seat.

[Grepper 3,192]

I throw my music workstation computer at you.

[Summer Breeze 2,528]

You are now chrushed by my grandpa!!!

[Sweet_Melody 308]

*picks up my notebook and wacks you with it repeatedly*

[gamecubeguy214 2,512]

I will use a speaker as a baseball bat!

[Rosemary Comet 76]

I shall smash you atop the head with a pottery bowl.