Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,109]

Starlight Glimmer: I'm going to rip this spell apart.

Twilight Sparkle: Please you can't do that.

Starlight Glimmer: Do you seriously think I'm buying your 'the world is doomed because I'm the cliche chosen one' trope.

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know why I was chosen but a lot ponies will suffer if you rip apart that time spell.

Starlight Glimmer: After all this, you ruining my life and this chosen one world is doomed revelation. I've made a decision......*bleep* the world. *Rips apart the spell.*

Spoiler

Twilight wakes up from a nightmare as an Earth Pony in G5.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I'm the princess of friendship and will start a school to teach friendship..

Spike: That doesn't make any sense. You barely talk with anyone outside your circle unless you're giving them commands or yelling at them.

 

Applejack: Look at that Twilight is an alicorn princess of friendship. Sheesh. Like we needed another egotist in the group.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, how did you end up in jail?

Fluttershy: I petted an animal when they said no.

 

Zephyr Breeze: Look at you Rainbow Dash. I have bed sheets matching your rainbow colors and a pillow case with you all tied up.

Rainbow Dash: Please Fluttershy, I'm begging you to let me put him out of our misery.

 

Fluttershy: Opal has told me you've thrown her out the window several times.

Rarity: She brought this on herself.

Edited July 14, 2018 by Singe

[Luigi 7,868]

Twilight Velvet: So it's true, Cadance. Shining Armor proposed to you, and you said "yes?"

Princess Cadance: Yes. I would really feel safe with him as my prince.

Shining Armor: Wait until Twilight hears about this.

Twilight Velvet: Cadance, darling, would you like to see some of Shining Armor's baby pictures?

(Shining Armor starts blushing really badly)

[Will Guide 21,325]

Spike: Now that I have wings, I can ditch these ponies and go live elsewhere.

[RDDash 18,866]

Pinkie Pie: The world is ending, the world is ending!

Twilight: Pinkie Pie don't be ridiculous, the world is not ending.

Pinkie Pie: Yeah it is, and I even know when it's happen. The world is ending.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

3 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Pinkie Pie: The world is ending, the world is ending!

Twilight: Pinkie Pie don't be ridiculous, the world is not ending

Pinkie Pie: yes it is, I have seen the leaked mails - One more season, then that's it!

[heavens-champion 1,893]

Pinkie Pe: Death and pestilence is coming!

[Luigi 7,868]

Photo Finish: Pictures taken instantaneously! I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera... Ready... Say, "fuzzy pickles."

[Lord Valtasar 12,685]

everyone,anyone  as opposed to everypony/everycreature and anypony etc

[The Blueberry Writer 278]

Applejack:  I am tired of apples, I want to try some of that Pizza SciTwi was talking about with the little red circles on it, they look  just like my cutie mark

[Singe 2,109]

This last line said in the finale of FIM.

Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is magic.........and I really hate you all.

Mane 5: *Shocked.*

*End credits.*

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: I really showed Neighsay that I can run a school.

Princess Celestia: All you showed him was your flank and told him to kiss it. Your behavior lately has been very unbecoming of a princess.

Twilight Sparkle: Well you know what, you can.....

Princess Celestia: Finish that line and I will send it into space.

Twilight Sparkle: ....teach me the proper ways of a princess. I was never taught.

Edited August 2, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: I have the school built and you will all be teachers.

Rarity: Let me guess, you spent the entire budget on building the school and dazzling it.

Twilight Sparkle: You got me.

Applejack: So since you're trying to get free labor out of us, how are you going to make up the funds? 

Fluttershy: A school like this is going to be expensive.

Twilight Sparkle: It's free for everyone.

Pinkie Pie: Come on, nothing is ever free.

Rainbow Dash: Now that I think about it. Our taxes went up just before your school was built.

Twilight Sparkle: I had to talk the mayor into doing it.

Applejack: So wait a minute. You're saying that you want us to work for free and pay for the education of the students. Some of which aren't citizens of Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle: I thought it was a good idea.

Rarity: You've been hanging around Starlight Glimmer too much.

 

Pinkie Pie: Ever since the mayor enacted fines for doing stupid things. I can't walk ten feet outside without getting fined.

Edited August 3, 2018 by Singe

[Props Valroa 26,042]

Fluttershy: I will show you pain...

[Luigi 7,868]

Twilight Sparkle: Sunshine Sunshine Ladybugs......

Princess Cadance: Who are you?

Twilight: You.... don't remember when you were my foalsitter?

Cadance: No, I simply have never foalsat anypony before in my life.

(Discord comes out of nowhere)

Discord: Of course you haven't, you impostor!

Shining Armor: Wait, what's going on here???

Discord: Isn't it obvious, Shining Armor? This alleged Princess Cadance is really the leader of the Changelings in disguise. I've had many dealings with her in the past, so I know when I encounter her.

Chrysalis: (Now aware that Discord blew her cover)  Very well, you haven't changed a bit, Discord. (She changes to her true for, as changeling queen) I knew I shouldn't have assumed that the statue in the Canterlot garden was your dead body turned to stone.

Discord: Actually, that statue WAS me. I was only biding my time until I noticed you'd be attacking Canterlot. 

(Discord magically draws a sword out from thin air and holds Chrysalis hostage)

Discord: Now tell General Shining Armor the truth or you'll be in much more pain than you are now. WHERE IS THE REAL PRINCESS CADANCE???

Chrysalis: She's in a cave beneath this city. 

Discord: GIVE TWILIGHT THE DIRECTIONS AND COORDINATES TO SAVE HER, NOW!!! (Chrysalis writes them on a parchment, then hands it to Twilight. Discord then kills Chrysalis) What a (Censored).

Shining Armor: Discord, you can't say that word here, it's illegal.

Discord: My apologies. 

Twilight: You had no idea any of this was happening? This isn't like you.

Shining Armor: She had been acting rather strangely, so I already knew something was amiss.

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: This school will stay open.

Neighsay: It's because you're a princess. Oh I'm a princess I can do whatever I want. I'll open my own restaurant and run it the way I want. I don't care about health and safety violations because the inspector is a hater.

 

Neighsay: Need I remind you that a piece of a school nearly crushed some ponies. However I would expect that since this is Ponyville and they don't even have building inspectors.

 

Student: Uh Miss Glimmer, are you coming on to me?

Starlight Glimmer: I'm sure I can accommodate if you want.

 

Rainbow Dash: Be my victim.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,109]

Yona: Then my family surrounded me in a circle.

Gallus: And they proceeded to smash you.

Yona: What? No, they just braided my hair.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry but you will have to stay here and do friendship lessons alone.

Rainbow Dash: Friendship lessons without a friend. That's just lessons.

Twilight Sparkle: I know that.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Singe

[Lord Midnight Madness 1,542]

Twilight: I don't like books

Applejack: Everything on the internet is true

Pinkie Pie: I don't have time for fun today

 

[Luigi 7,868]

(Link from The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess comes in to Canterlot, but he's been transformed into his wolf form)

Random Male Unicorn: IT'S A WOLF!!!!!

(Everypony goes into a panic, screaming and running away to the nearest building to get away from Link)

[Singe 2,109]

Starlight Glimmer: Wow, Rarity. That shampoo did a number on you. You look like a hairless chihuahua.

Rarity: *Growl.*
Starlight Glimmer: And growl like one too.

 

Flutterguy: Good morning students. Today I'm going to teach you all about love.

 

 

[Luigi 7,868]

Rainbow Dash: Hey! Applejack! Look what I made!

Applejack: It's a stone, Rainbow Dash! You didn't make it!

Rainbow Dash: It's a football! I chisled it!

Applejack: Well, what are you waiting for! Throw me a pass!

Rainbow Dash: It's even official size. (Passes the football, Applejack catches, but falls over)

Applejack: Oof!

Rainbow Dash: But not official weight.

[The MegaBrony 218]

Tirek (after Trixie shoots him with a crossbow while he's still in his weakened form): You foal. No weapon forged can stop me.

Trixie: That was then. (pulls a rocket launcher out of her hat) This is now.

Tirek: What's that do? (Trixie fires the rocket launcher, blowing him to tiny bits)

Edited August 15, 2018 by The MegaBrony

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Those are the Flim Flam brothers, they're scammers.

Neighsay: If they are as bad as you say, then they should be in jail right now. Yet, they're here. Did you bother to notify the authorities or did you do it by your own rules like usual?

 

Neighsay: Scamming ponies is bad. However I see a falling piece of your school nearly crushing them to be worse.

 

Twilight Sparkle: That's it, let's settle this.

Neighsay: Fine, we'll have a civil debate.

Twilight Sparkle: What? I thought....

Neighsay: You thought you could vanquish me with magic like one of your previous foes. No, if you want to defeat me you'll have to prove me wrong. Debating me is the only way. If you blast me with magic or lock me away, that will just sully you in the eyes of ponies that aren't on your side now.

 

 

 

[Luigi 7,868]

(Hundreds of protesting ponies from all over Equestria stationed outside of the EEA headquarters demanding that Chancellor Neighsay step down from his position)

 

Edited August 18, 2018 by Baby Dashie

[cmarston1 5,951]

Rainbow Dash: If friendship is magic, than is hatred scientific?

[Sparklefan1234 161,864]

Rarity: I'm through with fashion! From now on, I will turn my attention to the hip-hop scene & perform under the name "Rar1ty".