sad My first fanfiction in english

[Redhatbrony 59]

Hello Bronys,

i've write a a Fanfiction about a pegasusfilly.

I hope you will love this kind of tory and comment, or even criticize

a little bit.

Like in a other forum i will post the story by google docs and linked it here.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZzZ23ljIJKF7JYnX3hxNujt_jJq2_XdHRR-fuaw_YlQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

Enjoy my work.

Edited January 3, 2016 by Redhatbrony

[Rye Snoot 2]

it's all right... decent 5 stars out of 10

[Redhatbrony 59]

Thank you very much.

But i've a question, why only 5 Points?

[Perradial 114]

Hi!

I went through to proofread. You should probably learn a little more English; some of it was quite strange.

In my opinion, it was a nice story, if a little repetitive.

[Princess of Bananas 56]

Its a nice concept, but your grammar and placing of words needs a bit of work. I realize that this is your first fanfiction, but I know that you could've done a little bit better then that.

[Redhatbrony 59]

I'll work on it and will try again.

Thanks for your help so far.

I will change the parts tomorrow

and am hoping, that your will be also

read my second part.

[Redhatbrony 59]

I have translated much further,

so I show you now my improved content.

Please feel free to edit my grammar.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oT_zxwN5nARc5FGQGbd56wUqeY84AUthiJ_3bxNlOeA/edit?usp=sharing

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BkSK7_58ks_56WM9aYX7vgS7joO4XGRCvtIGklVU7D0/edit?usp=sharing

 

These are my next two chapters.