Things That Ponies Would Never Say

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Hi everypony!

 

The premise is simple. You take characters from MLP and give them dialogue that they would never say. Make them OOC. Make it clever, make it funny. The possibilities are endless! But keep it PG, kay?

 

I'll start.

 

Twilight: Holy crap! The town is throwing a book burning party! This is the best day ever!

 

Fluttershy: I'll say! I can't wait to throw Angel into the fire so that I can make rabbit stew!

[Dragonshy 2,305]

Rainbow Dash: Those Wonderbolts are way too athletic in my opinion, I only need studying.

 

Twilight Sparkle: What?!?!? I would love to be a wonderbolt! And who the hell needs studying when you have exercise? Egghead...

[Aureity 3,055]

Rarity: All your base are belong to us me.

 

Princess Cadence: You are on the way to destruction.

 

Discord: For great justice.

[Proctra Music 335]

Discord: Yea your right this place is to chaotic lets clean it up.

 

Celestia: No I like it like this! The destruction is amazing!!

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Rarity: Pfffft, dresses? Who needs dresses when you can play in the mud?

Edited May 2, 2012 by RockinRarity

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

*gunfire*

 

Rarity: STR8 OFF THA STR33TZ OF MOTHAFUCKIN' COMPTON!!!!

Edited July 13, 2012 by Devin McCourty

[DiscordxChaos 34]

Rainbow Dash: Oh, um, hi. I'm, uh, Rainbow Dash.

 

Fluttershy: OMIGOSH HI! I'm Fluttershy and let's party!

 

Pinkie Pie: Gotta study, gotta study.

 

Twilight: Egghead. Who cares about books?

 

Applejack: I don't, I would much rather be dressing up!

 

Rarity: Dressing up? Girly? *shudders*

 

This was fun.

[Nightfall 3,950]

Twilight: Screw studying. It can wait until tomorrow.

Rainbow Dash: But you gotta study to-

Twilight: Shut up, man.

[Senor Citizen 516]

Fluttershy and basically any dialogue from any of the meet the teams.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Applejack: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo what does this button doooooooooooo??

[DualEdge 18]

Pinkie Pie: Oo a party..... Nah, I'm gonna go study instead.

Edited May 3, 2012 by DualEdge

[Glaceon 793]

Twi: I hate books.

[ThePlantsOfDistraction 56]

Anyone: Pass the glue

[Runty 41]

Rarity: could yall suggest a pants to go with that, derpy?

Pinkie Pie: i don't like the way that pony looks

Fluttershy: gimme your money, or i'll stab you!

Pinkie Pie: quiet, i'm trying to concentrate!

[NavelColt 22,881]

Celestia: "Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I regret to inform you that your most recent letter to me about your lessons on friendship was five minutes late. Well little missy, please enjoy some time on the moon to think about the importance of these letters! *If you're reading this, you've been moon banished*"

[Crystal Sparkle 344]

Celestia: Everyone worships me and I don't do not one damn thing!

[Radiance64 7,053]

Celestia(after getting blasted by Chrysalis): Okay! You can have Equestria! Please don't hurt me again, you big meanie! *starts crying*

[Simcity11100 772]

All ponies: (Insert curse word here)!

[Fire_Fly 499]

Big Macintosh: Ee-maybe...

 

Bon Bon: Y'know, I think I'll stick with one voice for the rest of the series!

 

Rainbow Dash: Um....doesn't that sound dangerous?

[spas-ticShotty 3,584]

Twilight: I-I....a-am soooohoho waasted

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Applejack: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider!!!!

[Sunny Fox 5,951]

Celestia: Oh, don't worry about this new mega-villain, Twilight and you other 5. I'll just beat them myself instead of subtly manipulating you into doing it.

Luna: Seal me into the moon again, my sister. I could do with another 1000 year holiday.

Spike: More ice-cream? Oh, no thank you.

Twilight: Hmm. No planning for this year, I think I'll just wing it.

Derpy: I just had corrective eye surgery! Wow, now I can see stuff.

Pinkie: A party? No thanks, I'll just stay home and read a book.

Rainbow Dash: Slow this thing down! It's too fast! I'm scared!

Gummy: Actually, I can be perfectly eloquent and loquacious when the fancy strikes me.

Fluttershy: Madness? This! IS! EQUESTRIA!

Rarity: Next time, make your own darn dresses.

Applejack: Wow! This outfit is simply amazing! I must have it... take my hat and burn it.

Edited May 4, 2012 by CandidKid

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

Pinkie Pie would never say, "You're a loser"

Edited July 13, 2012 by Devin McCourty

[Everfree 286]

Derpy: I say. Muffins are quite grotesque in my personal prospective.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Pinkie Pie: (singing)

 

When I was a little filly and the sun was going doooooown~

The colors and the streamers they would always make me frooooooown~

I'd hide under my pillow from what I thought I saw

But Granny Pie said baking cupcakes from ponies one and all~

 

She said, "Pinkie, you gotta take your bait, learn to eat it too

You'll see ponies are tasty

Just bake and make them specialty"

 

Yum, yum, yum!

 

Sooooooooooooooo

 

Nibble up the nerdy

Gobble up the gangly

Ca-runch up the crazy

A-lick it up the lazy

A-bite it up the boring

A-slice it up the sporty

 

And tell those judgmental bastards to take a hike and leave you alone and if they think they can arrest you then they've got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... OM NOM NOM...

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT~

 

Everypony else: ...that's... nice...

 

Pinkie Pie: Heh, it's a work in progress...