What made you sad/ angry/ negative emotion today?

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

I keep thinking about how I failed to really connect with someone at work and it's eating at me.  Work people are just so complex to me in general because all around me are people that are bonding and hanging out and I feel like I'm just there as an observer. I feel like I've pushed people away or something.  Like, people will be friendly to me there but rarely have I been able to do anything with them outside of work and it feels like I messed up and now I'm stuck with all these "FaceBook friendships" where I only get little glimpses of their lives.

Most people I didn't care to do anything with but there were at least a couple people I really liked, but now it's too late because they're at other jobs or other towns. I just wish I tried harder to invite those people to hang out before they practically disappeared.

[DubWolf 18,476]

2 hours ago, ExplosionMare said:

I keep thinking about how I failed to really connect with someone at work and it's eating at me.  Work people are just so complex to me in general because all around me are people that are bonding and hanging out and I feel like I'm just there as an observer. I feel like I've pushed people away or something.  Like, people will be friendly to me there but rarely have I been able to do anything with them outside of work and it feels like I messed up and now I'm stuck with all these "FaceBook friendships" where I only get little glimpses of their lives.

Most people I didn't care to do anything with but there were at least a couple people I really liked, but now it's too late because they're at other jobs or other towns. I just wish I tried harder to invite those people to hang out before they practically disappeared.

I’m not there as an observer, but I think I’ve seen this before  . Don’t change yourself too much. You probably feel like you’re having to force yourself onto them aren’t you?

I know this might be unusual, but maybe just start a chat with any one of your friends on Facebook and see where it goes. Might work better with those you haven’t seen in a while though. I’d start there at least. If you’re comfortable enough. I had a pretty good friendship develop starting a message with someone one day, lol. Develop. 

Edited June 19 by DubWolf

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

4 minutes ago, DubWolf said:

I’m not there as an observer, but I think I’ve seen this before  . Don’t change yourself too much. You probably feel like you’re having to force yourself onto them aren’t you?

I know this might be unusual, but maybe just start a chat with any one of your friends on Facebook and see where it goes. Might work better with those you haven’t seen in a while though. I’d start there at least. If you’re comfortable enough. I had a pretty good friendship develop starting a message with someone randomly, lol. Develop. 

Hm, maybe so. Feels like I usually have to be the one to reach out (or the other person does but they're a bit irritated I didn't reach out first) so I usually hang around and wait. This particular friend is also out of town so I kinda lost hope that we'd ever do anything together.

My mom was saying the same thing...guess it couldn't hurt.

---

Right now my "negative" thing is this weather. It's very humid but also rainy now and then.

[DubWolf 18,476]

25 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

Hm, maybe so. Feels like I usually have to be the one to reach out (or the other person does but they're a bit irritated I didn't reach out first) so I usually hang around and wait. This particular friend is also out of town so I kinda lost hope that we'd ever do anything together.

My mom was saying the same thing...guess it couldn't hurt.

---

Right now my "negative" thing is this weather. It's very humid but also rainy now and then.

They’re not out of town forever; just wait and then you can ask them about how it went . Gives you more reason to talk if there’s a lot that’s new.

[Dawnshine Wonder 2,697]

Nothing, I may mumble or whisper myself the occasional frustrations nowadays but nothing major or worth telling you about on the forum. Also I've taken the philosophy there is not any point in worrying too much about things that cannot be helped, some things are not worth getting angry about altogether as they're first world problems.

[Raskolnikov 1,716]

5 hours ago, ExplosionMare said:

I keep thinking about how I failed to really connect with someone at work and it's eating at me.  Work people are just so complex to me in general because all around me are people that are bonding and hanging out and I feel like I'm just there as an observer. I feel like I've pushed people away or something.  Like, people will be friendly to me there but rarely have I been able to do anything with them outside of work and it feels like I messed up and now I'm stuck with all these "FaceBook friendships" where I only get little glimpses of their lives.

Most people I didn't care to do anything with but there were at least a couple people I really liked, but now it's too late because they're at other jobs or other towns. I just wish I tried harder to invite those people to hang out before they practically disappeared.

Don't beat yourself up about it, socialising as an adult is hard in general... even if you're really trying, a lot of the time people are too preoccupied with their lives to cultivate new friendships. 

Source: have had multiple people complain to me that they hate when people never initiate contact first to talk or hang out... then do the same thing to me and I'm the one left in the position they complained about being in. Huh???

Just keep trying - if you have time and/or money, starting new hobbies that involve other people can be a good way to meet new people and you will have something in common that isn't sharing a workspace 

Edited June 19 by Raskolnikov

[Raskolnikov 1,716]

Double post whoops but I'll just vent in here, I'll be alright, this comes up occasionally due to past crap unfortunately.

But it can be really, really hard having very little socialisation skills sometimes... I feel like I can only have 1 on 1 conversations with people, otherwise I get (understandably really) overshadowed by others because I'm still catching up on social skills and I tend to feel guarded around new people, especially in sudden encounters. It makes me a while to trust others but by the time I do feel more comfortable it seems I've already established myself in their minds as the quiet unsociable workaholic so people don't engage... perhaps people feel like I feel better being left alone, but actually it sucks feeling ignored and left behind. And those feelings get worse in encounters that aren't 1 on 1.

Some of this is 100% my own fault, I try to challenge my skittishness but today is not one of those days I feel able to deal with those feelings... it's unfortunately a very old emotional wound. I don't feel so bad about it these days, not usually, but sometimes stuff just triggers old feelings back.

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

17 hours ago, Raskolnikov said:

Double post whoops but I'll just vent in here, I'll be alright, this comes up occasionally due to past crap unfortunately.

But it can be really, really hard having very little socialisation skills sometimes... I feel like I can only have 1 on 1 conversations with people, otherwise I get (understandably really) overshadowed by others because I'm still catching up on social skills and I tend to feel guarded around new people, especially in sudden encounters. It makes me a while to trust others but by the time I do feel more comfortable it seems I've already established myself in their minds as the quiet unsociable workaholic so people don't engage... perhaps people feel like I feel better being left alone, but actually it sucks feeling ignored and left behind. And those feelings get worse in encounters that aren't 1 on 1.

Some of this is 100% my own fault, I try to challenge my skittishness but today is not one of those days I feel able to deal with those feelings... it's unfortunately a very old emotional wound. I don't feel so bad about it these days, not usually, but sometimes stuff just triggers old feelings back.

I completely get how you feel! Most times I do want to be left alone to work or think, but it doesn't mean I never want to talk to people! I feel like I'm in a situation now where people all around me are socializing and I'm just the observer. Doesn't help that most people I start a potential friendship with tend to find another job. As for outside of work...the topic always comes up about "who reaches out first" even though it's unfair in most of my friendships since I'm usually the busier person. I get it's important to not make your friends do all the work, though.

---

I'm livid that someone messed with my car and wrote something on the windows with their fingers. Is it too much to ask that people just leave me and my stuff alone? I just hope I can get it out because I don't want to represent anyone's weird politics.

[ZiggWheelsManning 13,108]

Sad that, despite all the hard work, I missed the Festival of the Two Sisters event  

[Starset Twinkle 584]

Just found out my stepdad was unfaithful to my mom with a much younger co-worker and that he wants a divorce. Not the best day

[ZiggWheelsManning 13,108]

13 minutes ago, Starset Twinkle said:

Just found out my stepdad was unfaithful to my mom with a much younger co-worker and that he wants a divorce. Not the best day

Sad that it's almost 11 years since my parents divorced  

[Starset Twinkle 584]

1 hour ago, ZiggWheelsManning said:

Sad that it's almost 11 years since my parents divorced  

Yeah, I feel you, my real parents divorced about 16 years ago. Something that is really tough about this one is I share a house with them, so I'll likely be losing the home I lived in for the past 10 years because of this.

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

12 hours ago, Starset Twinkle said:

Yeah, I feel you, my real parents divorced about 16 years ago. Something that is really tough about this one is I share a house with them, so I'll likely be losing the home I lived in for the past 10 years because of this.

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I hope you're able to find a place quickly if you do happen to lose that house!

---

Not much to report for me right now other than my neck hurts a little bit.

[Snoopy Fan 7,795]

Nobody came over to swim.

[Street Light 643]

4 hours ago, Snoopy Fan said:

Nobody came over to swim.

i would absolutely come over to swim if I could 

[Ganondorf8 11,695]

Being scolded for my cosplaying by my own mother.

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

The constant loop of my mom and stepdad screaming their heads off at one another and calling me the weird one for reacting to it. I really try not to but when it eats up my entire weekend, I just can't help it. I don't understand why they won't divorce, they clearly hate each other and don't respect anyone else enough to stop this toxic madness.

It's also pretty evident my stepdad hates me because all he does is judge me and my life decisions. I honestly feel the same towards him because he causes me and my family so much misery all the time because he takes his pain out on everybody.

I just hate this so much and I wish I could leave! I should've moved out a long time ago, anyways. Maybe I will just move out by myself even though I'm always advised against it because of my "mental health". It would have to be better than how I feel here sometimes.

[Clawdeen 20,233]

People not getting back to me in a timely manner (or at all) for work related things really piss me off. Especially when I make sure to get back to people in a timely manner. I just flat out @ two individuals in an email and straight up told them the process is on hold because of this. These procurement folks are so up their own ass. 

The other piece to this also deals with a side project I’m working on and lack of responses. People not doing something documentation wise that could come up during an audit. You’d think the threat of audits and getting pulled aside due to something you were supposed to do but didn’t would scare people but it doesn’t. Theres a couple roads I could take with this and I’m really trying to decide how much of an asshole I want to be. 

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

1 minute ago, Clawdeen said:

People not getting back to me in a timely manner (or at all) for work related things really piss me off. Especially when I make sure to get back to people in a timely manner. I just flat out @ two individuals in an email and straight up told them the process is on hold because of this. These procurement folks are so up their own ass. 

The other piece to this also deals with a side project I’m working on and lack of responses. People not doing something documentation wise that could come up during an audit. You’d think the threat of audits and getting pulled aside due to something you were supposed to do but didn’t would scare people but it doesn’t. Theres a couple roads I could take with this and I’m really trying to decide how much of an asshole I want to be. 

No one gets back with me at work either, so I feel your pain  If I can't catch someone in person, they don't respond to me at all anymore unless they texted me first because they want something from me.

[Raskolnikov 1,716]

Man... I'm really getting tired of getting nothing but petty complaints and unrealistic expectations of perfectionism from jobs. I miss my old job and team... here people are happy to pretend you don't exist and not as much give you a smile then your manager comes around to give you feedback about stuff you were never told to do coming from those same people. If you want all this shit done give us more hours then. Then nobody acknowledges when everything else gets done meticulously and when you come back from work you have to constantly keep up with the same shit at home.

I don't know. I'm sick of it. It's worse when I already have high standards for how I work and then people expect more. 

[Clawdeen 20,233]

25 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

No one gets back with me at work either, so I feel your pain  If I can't catch someone in person, they don't respond to me at all anymore unless they texted me first because they want something from me.

Right? It’s so frustrating. We shouldn’t have to chase people down just to get a response

[Snoopy Fan 7,795]

Today at work, someone donated a piece of furniture that wasn’t put together.

[DubWolf 18,476]

Several things really. First seeing a coworker visibly upset. Wasn't my business to find out but I gave her a small brush on her arm as I usually do to comfort someone.

Then...

Finding out one of my favorite youtubers passed away. I hadn't seen her videos in a while, but it was a bit shocking to realize such a positive force and source of hope and happiness... just disappeared like that, all of a sudden.

18 hours ago, ExplosionMare said:

The constant loop of my mom and stepdad screaming their heads off at one another and calling me the weird one for reacting to it. I really try not to but when it eats up my entire weekend, I just can't help it. I don't understand why they won't divorce, they clearly hate each other and don't respect anyone else enough to stop this toxic madness.

It's also pretty evident my stepdad hates me because all he does is judge me and my life decisions. I honestly feel the same towards him because he causes me and my family so much misery all the time because he takes his pain out on everybody.

I just hate this so much and I wish I could leave! I should've moved out a long time ago, anyways. Maybe I will just move out by myself even though I'm always advised against it because of my "mental health". It would have to be better than how I feel here sometimes.

*hugs*

I wish I could help you more with that. It seems you feel a bit trapped :/ 

[Snoopy Fan 7,795]

Accepting donations in the heat.

[ExplosionMare 21,313]

On 2025-06-23 at 11:10 PM, DubWolf said:

Several things really. First seeing a coworker visibly upset. Wasn't my business to find out but I gave her a small brush on her arm as I usually do to comfort someone.

Then...

Finding out one of my favorite youtubers passed away. I hadn't seen her videos in a while, but it was a bit shocking to realize such a positive force and source of hope and happiness... just disappeared like that, all of a sudden.

*hugs*

I wish I could help you more with that. It seems you feel a bit trapped :/ 

Sorry to hear about that coworker and that YouTuber!

Thank you, your kind words are appreciated 

---

I'm just not looking forward to work today, especially if I have to be outside.